Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Something For The Weekend (176)

Something For The Weekend (176)
The sweet FA cup.

The football dialectic continued over last weekend between the global wannabes and their less bloated and idealistically less f**ked-up, poor relations from the lower divisions. And, at least one of them, in the form of Barnsley, won the argument and seemed to prove that the old adage about it being just a game of eleven versus eleven, might still have some value.

Personally, I took the whole affair as a pleasant prolepsis to soothe my dread of things to come and even if the quality of the components of the actual game, were not quite up to the best collection of the Premiership's greatest hits, its hucksters might muster, it proved that when the fat f**ks go west for the wonga, the game will continue to function with hardly a hitch.

There was even a delightful portion of romantic symmetry about the Tykes winning at Anfield, as it was against the Red Scouse a decade ago, that Barnsley suffered their cruel tipping-point, when they had three players sent-off against Liverpool and their Premiership career went into a nosedive. It was a worthy win and might go a long way to healing the scars, and the sense of shame, which surely must arise whenever they are reminded that Geoff Horsfield was born in the town.

And I'm sure I heard Charlie Williams, chuckle in the night.

Villa interest might have lingered upon the Cardiff result, as ex-Villa Academy wunderkind Peter Whittingham, enjoyed a superb eye-catching performance, which saw the Bluebirds move to within a single game of a semi-final visit to Wembley. Cardiff City more than fulfils any definition of a club, what with Jimmy Floyd, Fowler and Sinclair, occupying the seen-it-done-it, big-time Charlie, forward-line, while presumably still playing for the sheer joy of it. And, too many for it to be a coincidence; the once-upon-a-time-nearly-made-it-BIG Villa/Blues contingent.

You can only imagine the banter between Darren Purse and the Finn-who-fluffed, one Peter Enckelman (on loan from Blackburn).

With such a gathering of old mates and thick-waisted creaky ex-super-stars, you can't help but think that clubs like Cardiff are fun places to be and that unlike the Spartan obsessives of the Premiership, where a squirt of ketchup (Spurs), is seen as a sign of the dissolute; players might think it a better place to be than the ignominy of the bench or the stiffs, in a higher division.

Football for fun - imagine that! Luke Moore, take note.

Talking of whom: is young Luke cup-tied? Now that would be some incentive to get his act together, if he could do the business and help West Brom get to Wembley. It was great to see Saint Cyrille in the crowd that saw Albion annihilate Coventry and I was astounded to find out that he was fifty the other week. Wow! Time moves on.

In the absence of anything thrilling to report from the other cup games I was left to mull over the disappointment which was Manc Red versus Arse Red. This was supposed to be King Kong V. Godzilla but it turned out to be a letdown as Godzilla had turned up minus dentures and having failed to upset King Kong too much with some vigorous use of the gums, was left so desperate that kung-fu was the only recourse. And, as I'd only tuned in the hope of seeing United get an ass-whipping, I was more than a little disappointed.

If, after the last few weeks, I needed to be reminded that it is now the sponsors who call the shots, then there was plenty of evidence here, as the Rooney brand was instantly promoted to match-winner and the antidote to world hunger, universal peace and global-warming. Having stayed awake through most of the game, this seemed a little unfair on the likes of Anderson and Fletcher, who both had stand-out games. I've nothing against Wayne but the constant calls to worship from the minarets of mammon, tends to get on my nerves. Its not as though I deny the mighty Swoosh its due or deny that Rooney looks better in his Nikes than Fletcher (more easily associated with arrows than swooshes) but it just gets a bit wearing on the old thre'p'nnys.

Rooney did a fair job of trying to impress the watching Capello but despite his frustrating habit of always going for the spectacular, I wouldn't dare criticise England's great white hope. He's obviously a lovely bloke and his casual willingness to hand over half his fortune, come the summer, with a couple of whispered 'I do's', is an act of generosity, worthy of any philanthropist. To enter into such a one-sided relationship, where his partner in the crime of 'lerv', can walk away whenever she wants, while his contractual uxorious commitment, is a legally enforced lifetime financial obligation, takes more honour and heroism, than you'll usually find on a football field.

So, more tap-ins Mr Rooney, if you please, and welcome to the ranks of the pussy-whipped. May you be a fine example to us all.

Not as though being pussy-whipped is so bad, and there is a lot to be said for the benefits of gelding - takes you out of trouble's way and into the garden shed, mostly. And, you only have to look at Gazza and conclude that there's a man who could usefully do with some remedial pussy-whipping. Even if, in his case, a dominatrix, complete with whip and electrodes, might be required, to subdue his aberrant and self-destructive ways.

Most punters, are so well adapted to a life of dire ordinariness, they have no idea how miserable their existence looks from the outside, until they see just how difficult those who have enjoyed the status of star, have in adapting to such a come-down. Gazza like the rest ( Paul? Stan?), is obviously still waiting for his moment of satori. Its bad enough with furniture but imagine how difficult it must be to build a dull ordinary life from a flat-pack self-assembly kit: the instructions are always rubbish.

'Align current circumstances (1a), with future expectations (2b) using bolt-hole (1x). Apply liberal quantities of acceptance (sachet 1) and leave to set, in the warm glow of sensible friends and wise mentors. When self-assembly is stable it is ready for use - maintain with soft-soap (sachet 2) and avoid exposure to alcohol'

Those glory days - you just have to let them go.

Writer:Steve Wade
Date:Friday February 22 2008
Time: 5:17PM

Comments

0
Don't know about any of the rest of you, but I'd love to see a denture-less Godzilla attempting to Kung Fu King Kings ass. That would be quite a spectacle.
Carlosio
22/02/2008 18:37:00
0
Erm...ok... :)
Blue is the colour
22/02/2008 23:08:00
0
A couple of pints of what my good friend Carlosio has been drinking please. That should do the trick.
glensider
25/02/2008 14:51:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

HK - Villa Squad Announced For Soccer Sevens

Aston Villa confirmed yesterday that Keinan Davis and Corey Blackett-Taylor will lead the line at this weekend's Hong Kong Soccer Sevens tournament.

Jedinak Feels Settled At Villa

Australian international midfielder Mile Jedinak has said he now feels 'right at home' at Aston Villa following the summer switch from Crystal Palace.

The Vital Villa Best Beard Of The Season Award Goes To..

I imagine this will hit the national press, such a prestigious award...

Wyness Confident Of Summer Improvements

Chief Executive Keith Wyness has said that he's confident Aston Villa will sign the three or four quality additions identified by manager Steve Bruce this summer.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

I'm all out of questions at the moment
Suggested By:
You can suggest one43%
if you want to!57%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Newcastle 46 29 7 10 94 45
P Brighton 46 28 9 9 93 34
3 Reading 46 26 7 13 85 4
4 Sheff Wed 46 24 9 13 81 15
5 Huddersfield 46 25 6 15 81 -2
6 Fulham 46 22 14 10 80 28
7 Leeds Utd 46 22 9 15 75 14
8 Norwich 46 20 10 16 70 16
9 Derby County 46 18 13 15 67 4
10 Brentford 46 18 10 18 64 10
11 Preston 46 16 14 16 62 1
12 Cardiff 46 17 11 18 62 -1
13 Aston Villa 46 16 14 16 62 -1
14 Barnsley 46 15 13 18 58 -3
15 Wolves 46 16 10 20 58 -4
16 Ipswich 46 13 16 17 55 -10
17 Bristol City 46 15 9 22 54 -6
18 Q.P.R. 46 15 8 23 53 -14
19 Birmingham 46 13 14 19 53 -19
20 Burton 46 13 13 20 52 -14
21 Forest 46 14 9 23 51 -10
R Blackburn 46 12 15 19 51 -12
R Wigan 46 10 12 24 42 -17
R Rotherham 46 5 8 33 23 -58
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Mercedes refuse to introduce team orders
Latest Vital Boxing News
Brook Fancies Spence Job
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear343
2.JuanPabloAngel301
3.sirdennis220
4.BBJ187
5.Pride of Lions163
6.villasince67156
7.kefkat126
8.Silhillvilla126
9.mike_field118
10.BodyButter117
The Vital Football Members League