Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Something For The Weekend (107)

Something For The Weekend (107)

By Steve Wade

Having set myself up for a career in pessimism, with some spirited help from my parents, I am finding it hard, dear reader (if he's not on holiday), to make the transition into the optimism department. Having majored in disappointment, as they say across the pond, or having been sent up and then down, as they say over here, from the university of strife, I can't really be expected to hit the ground running (another Americanism, damn it), when it comes to carrying the baton for happiness and fulfilment.

I just know it is going to be hard.

Yes, from the great margarine apartheid of the early Sixties, to the notorious bouncing bicycle incident, I have spent a lifetime honing my capacities for coming second or a bit/lot lower and have spent many long hours perfecting a personal philosophy, to deal with it. Knowing what's good for me, I have always left success, fulfilment, satisfaction and most importantly, the winner's place on the rostrum of life, to the fools (the bastards) who see it as their natural right to such things - just count me out buster (they have so far). So please forgive me for feeling a touch out of sorts these days. I'm just not ready for it and if it wasn't for being broke, ugly and old, I might even feel a bit desperate.

These past few weeks have been just awful for me and I suspect quite a few other Villa fans, as the club I have loved for most of my life, has robbed me of one of the most reliable sources of negativity and pessimism, I had at my disposal. When everything else was going great, from work, finance, to the number of living relatives, I could always depend on Villa bringing me down - they used be so dependable. I can't help feeling betrayed.

Every single day lately, with hardly an exception, there is a depressing story in the papers about signing players and even reports of actual ambition within the club and its getting past a joke. In the good old days, you would pick up the Sun in the morning, take an admiring look at the tits & ass (oh no, American again) on page three, then turn to the back page to see who Villa were going to sign and then spend the whole morning laughing your socks off, at its total unlikelihood. I think the Benni McCarthy joke ran longer than the Mousetrap but it was such a cracker, no one wanted to let it go. We laughed at the Collymore joke but they went and signed him - and then it stopped being funny. The Ginola joke was just the Collymore joke with a wig and an 'Allo 'Allo accent. There have been so many over the years - I might have lost count but I never stopped laughing.

This week has been particularly unfunny and after stories of this merry Yank, about to negotiate a sponsorship deal worth in the region of £100m and
then serious talk about signing Saviola (imagine, no one laughed either), and several other big names - JUST FOR STARTERS - I was sulking on the other side of my face. I ask you, where can an old cynic go - even Tony Butler has
lost his act. On ya' bike indeed - back on the courtesy bus more like.

I wonder if the Villa bus got through its MOT okay - I was a bit concerned?

You can't even take the piss out of the manager with any conviction. The educated opinion has it that he was brilliant at Wycombe; transformed Leicester and won a cup; then to crown it all, he resuscitated a sickly Celtic and took everything domestic that was there to be won. Not only that, he was considered by everyone who knew anything, to be the best candidate for the England job. Sorry, its just not material I can work with.

So, what sort of club are they turning into? They have an owner with a few bob and a willingness to spend it and a manager who looks unlikely to waste it. I have honestly looked and there is just not a decent joke in there and as for sarcasm and irony, there is a tragic lack of scope. I mean, in the good old days, if you could think of absolutely nothing else to say, you could always have a pop at Doug Ellis but now even that is impossible. Its just no fun any more.

Its kind of tragic, to see a couple of Villa fans meet up these days - all they do is laugh and joke, its totally sickening. And as for banter with the blue-noses, its just impossible; all jokes just sound like you are mocking the afflicted, its hopeless. Overnight, it just seems like any attempt to compare the two clubs, has suddenly become farcical, its like talking to a Walsall fan. It really is no fun - no fun at all.

I really miss the no-hopers' camaraderie, we've shared in recent years.

Those who know me, I am sure, will have absolute confidence that given sufficient time for adjustment, I will adapt quite readily to the new set-up down Villa Park. I have a pretty unblemished record when it comes to pessimism and negativity and given even luck, I am sure I can come through this unscathed. Possibly, I might sell my Premium Bond, and so avoid any unexpected reasons for joy; and I might have to stop in a bit more to avoid the possibility of unexpected kindnesses from strangers, which can have a dire affect on a pessimist. Yes, I can get through this, and I am absolutely determined to do so.

Alas, I am not so confident about my fellow Villans though and I am beginning to see signs that possibly they could become as obnoxiously cheerful as the fans of clubs I have grown to hate. There really is an imminent and present danger that the fans could start getting a bit arrogant and patronising as they forget, all those miserable barren years that served them so well. I just hope that when they are celebrating being the Champions
of Europe once again, some time in the future, they remember how good it used to be.

I guess, I am just missing Doug already.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Friday September 1 2006
Time: 2:34PM

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Villa Replicate Reading Offer

With Reading charging our fans (season ticket holders or members) only £20 for our trip to the Madejski Stadium earlier in the season, Villa have reciprocated the deal...

Hogan Relishing Kodjia Partnership

January signing Scott Hogan has said he and Jonathan Kodjia are determined to build up a 'frightening' strike partnership between now and the end of the season.

Opposition Feel The Force With Jedi Defence

Australian skipper Mile Jedinak's career path has taken a twist in the last few weeks as Aston Villa manager Steve Bruce utilises him in a centre half role.

Milner Takes Vassell's Lucky Scoring Record

Former Aston Villa midfielder James Milner has now replaced former striker Darius Vassell at the top of a particularly impressive Premier League scoring table.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

I have nothing to ask! I hate international breaks!
Suggested By: ;o)
Agree90%
Disagree3%
Whatever 7%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 38 24 6 8 78 38
2 Brighton 38 23 8 7 77 30
3 Huddersfield 37 22 5 10 71 4
4 Leeds Utd 38 21 6 11 69 16
5 Reading 38 20 7 11 67 2
6 Sheff Wed 38 18 8 12 62 9
7 Fulham 38 16 13 9 61 19
8 Norwich 38 16 9 13 57 9
9 Preston 38 15 12 11 57 6
10 Derby County 38 14 11 13 53 3
11 Barnsley 38 14 9 15 51 0
12 Aston Villa 38 13 12 13 51 0
13 Cardiff 38 14 9 15 51 -1
14 Brentford 38 14 8 16 50 3
15 Q.P.R. 38 14 8 16 50 -5
16 Wolves 37 12 9 16 45 -2
17 Ipswich 38 10 15 13 45 -9
18 Birmingham 38 11 12 15 45 -16
19 Bristol City 38 11 8 19 41 -3
20 Forest 38 11 8 19 41 -11
21 Burton 38 10 11 17 41 -14
22 Blackburn 38 9 13 16 40 -11
23 Wigan 38 8 10 20 34 -13
24 Rotherham 38 4 5 29 17 -54
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
More calls to ban the shark fins
Latest Vital Boxing News
Taylor v Joubert – Meadowbank, Scotland
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Apr 1 2017 3:00PM : Norwich City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 4 2017 7:45PM : Queens Park Rangers (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 8 2017 3:00PM : Burton Albion (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 15 2017 3:00PM : Reading (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 17 2017 2:45PM : Fulham (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 23 2017 12:00PM : Birmingham City (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear353
2.Pride of Lions280
3.sirdennis278
4.JuanPabloAngel239
5.HeathfieldRoad1874216
6.Sasquatch160
7.Silhillvilla155
8.Melon Donkey143
9.BodyButter132
10.DeanoVilla124
Vital Football Comment