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Villa v Valencia Match Report (ahem)

Aston Villa
0 - 0

Villa Park


Attendance: 19 500 ish


Ok so we kicked off in the 1874 restaurant with a champagne reception. Two of the lads then chose their formation as a 2-1-1. That was two pints of lager, one John Smiths and for me as a driver, a bottle of water. I would point out tactics wise this was a large bottle of water to last the night, however the order of sparkling water was substituted for still, I'd drank a glass before noticing otherwise I'd have put in an appeal to the referee for a switch.

Next up a mixed starter including cheese bread which I swiftly sidelined (cheese is after all the devils own food) olives (very tasty) and Parma ham. All in all a successful first ten minutes.

The match continued with lemon chicken, roasted veg and other assorted delights. 2-0 to the Villa so far, this was cracking grub. Another couple of pints for the non drivers and then pudding. An orange cake, now I'm not really one for puddings so Phil took that and then struggled to finish, I guess he should have been subbed after 60 mins really, a mistake we will all hold our hands up to and the disgrace was sending back a plate with some food on it. We'll learn by our mistakes and try not to replicate when we return for the second part of our corporate offer at the Rapid Vienna game.

Half time brought about a change of pace. Cheese and biscuits... ok, I've already stated cheese is the devils own food but I have no objection to the biscuits, albeit the crackers went a little too quickly for my liking and I should have grabbed more when I got the chance. Again, lesson learnt. There was also a 3-1 on the drink as it was time for a lager for me, along with two others for the lads and one more John Smiths. A change in formation which I feel kept us on our toes.

And for the seats? Nice and wide, great view and plenty of space.

Apparently there was a football match on as well?

As you might have gathered, I don't take friendly games very seriously. The after match talk from former greats was that it was a shame that so many fans (just under 20 000) had turned up and then had to watch a game that was in the second half... and I quote... boring. However hopefully Martin O'Neill has seen what he needed to and the young lads seemed to be playing well and obviously this was another run out for the players before the real business starts next week.

The one thing that interests me is that Martin O'Neill was in the stands just behind where we were sitting (the middle Trinity corporate area). Now I've said for years that I sit on row a by the bench and wouldn't move for love nor money because the managers need my advice. Little did I know that as soon as MON found out I wouldn't be there for this match, that he would move to be close to me up in the stands. Come on Martin, time to give me the call and take me on full time.


COME ON YOU VILLA BOYS... revenge is needed against West Ham, lets get off to a flyer.

For the match thread in our forum: Click Here (page 23 at the moment, work backwards if you so wish!)

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Writer:J P Fear
Date:Saturday August 7 2010
Time: 11:44AM

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10 out of 10 for the corporate, although I do find myself having to hold back, went to shout and whistle a few times and just stopped myself! :o) Back to the real seats for West Ham, the Trinity was too quiet without me banging the boardings and the ref got an easy ride as well!!!!
The Fear
07/08/2010 11:45:00
I have to completely disagree. Cheese deserves a place at the table and it is just stubborn arrogance and unwillingness to change things that leaves the cheese going off. You need to give it more opportunities. Sticking with old favourites and has beens like chicken and veg will get us nowhere in the long term. We need to freshen things up with more home grown fruit and add a touch of class with one or two more exotic dishes from overseas. Sack the Chef.
07/08/2010 12:11:00
I was watching out for you on the telly but it did seem eerily quiet near the dugout area. Now I know why.
07/08/2010 12:47:00
Now it all depends upon the cheese. The Bulgarian variety looks a bit high in fat and the traditional international cheese at the front if the plate looks a bit past it's best, but you will like the new young English variety on the right side of the platter. The problem with this cheese board is that it's all too much the same and needs some good new exciting variety in the centre. It was good to see that the Irish mature still looked a good solid hard cheese.
07/08/2010 13:04:00
yes, I wasn't able to make my usual noise BBJ!
The Fear
07/08/2010 14:38:00
As a founding member of the ACL (anti cheese league) I find the comments as above offensive and I'll thank the fans not to start booing !
The Fear
07/08/2010 14:38:00
Well, certainly a much more original, entertaining, and enjoyable match report, than those usually provided by that clown Glensider. In his defence though, he could hardly make his usual pre-match meal of fish and chips sound like Shakespeare, something you certainly achieve in your masterpiece above.
08/08/2010 11:47:00
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