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Engerland vs. Team USA

Wembley Stadium


For some odd reason, 2005BST.

Vital Villa On England

The preview season continues as Murph a.k.a. “the real reason Fear won his Vital Villa award”, previews a match between our owners homeland, and the country in which he owns a football club.

It’s England, lager lager lager, versus America YEEEEHHHHAAAAA live in preview from Vital Aston Villa.

Vital Quotes:

We kick off this very special international preview with a word from the President of the United States of America. For Christmas I received many presents, one including a flip calendar of “George Bushisms” as the USA counts down to the day that they find out just who becomes their next President, the geriatric John McCain, the ‘to-be’ first ever Black US President in Barack Obama, or Hillary Clinton (lol!)

Today’s quote on my calendar of silly quotes, Wednesday the 28th May 2008 is as follows:

“The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the – the vast majority of Iraqi’s who want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.”

One has to wonder what meetings between George Bush Junior and Gordon Brown are like!


Meanwhile, Aston Villa boss Martin O’Neill has slammed the supposedly useless friendly matches that have extended the season for a number of Villa players. With one eye already on Villa’s Inter-Toto cup exploits, O’Neill would much rather see his international charges gained some supposedly ‘much deserved’ rest.

He told

“Some of the players were saying that the annoyance is not so much in coming back a day or two earlier, it is actually having meaningless friendly games almost three weeks after the season's over.

“Players who really should be sitting on a beach by now are still having to think about friendly games that don't mean anything.

“John Carew's playing for Norway for instance and Norway haven't qualified for the Euros. The same goes with the two England games.”

“These are meaningless games that club managers can do without. You can end up picking up injuries and it's always hard to take if players pick-up injuries outside your jurisdiction.”

One wonders Martin if you had perhaps a considerably larger squad, you would not have to worry about squad selection, fatigue and injury, as your chargers make their first foray into European Football for some time.


Meanwhile it’s good news for England fans, manager Fabio Capello is finally speaking English! The Italian manager, who took considerably longer than expected to speak the countries native language, has suddenly found great enjoyment of reeling out the cliché’s as he said:

“We want to play without fear, with a big show of confidence and in a very English type of spirit,”

“The players won't be fresh like the USA players, whose season is just beginning, but we need to play with spirit and intensity.”

Capello announced that he was intending to make bambi-on-ice impressionist John Terry his captain for Wednesday’s match, a present that may well stop the Chelski player from blubbing for at least 90 minutes, following his slip up against Manchester United in the Champions League.

“It is a good decision for John Terry after last Wednesday, which was not nice for him.

“He has played very well in training and when I told him he would be captain he was very, very happy.

“As a captain, I think it is important to be a leader, and John Terry is a leader.”

Do you see John Terry as a leader? Or a £125,000+ ‘star,’ who was spotted parking in disabled parking spaces, comes back from injuries far too early and often whinges more than your average Birmingham City supporter. Vote now!

Engerland Team News:

Wayne Rooney is set to be deployed as a “second striker” for the match against team-USA. The England front-forward may well be joined by a debutant, with West Hammers striker Deano Ashton or even the AVFC Claret & Blues very own Gabriel Speedy Agbonzales earning their first ever England cap.

All eyes are on another cap, Cap-ello as to just whom he will select as his starting goalkeeper (goaltender) for this evening’s live match-up. David James replaced AVFC’s Scott Carson in recent matches, however the Liverpool loaner was overlooked following Chris Kirkland’s addition to the injured reserve (injury list.) The England head-coach opted for minor-league goalie Joe Lewis over the EPL star, and may even make him a debutant member of the roster this evening.

Frank Lamplard is expected to feature, as will MLS star David Beckham, who has been heralded a hero for his 70-yard own-field lob-shot as the Kansas City Wizzards pulled their netminder (well, he moved up-field.) What some inbound praise for the LA Galaxy wide-mid-man has failed to point out, was the “open net” element of the strike, with the lob-shot only travelling between the pipes due to the juxtaposition of the Wizzard’s goalie to the 18 yard line.

Player to watch: : Whoever will be First Striker

With Wayne Rooney announced as playing the co-striker role, it will be interesting as to whom will share the forward role with the Shrek-impersonator.

Team USA Team News:

Team USA star Landon Donavon is set to join his LA Galaxy team-mate David Beckham in reaching 100 appearances for his International Soccer Side.

All AVFC eyes will be on who starts between the pipes for Team USA, as Tim Howard is rivalled for the role by potential trade-target Brad Guzan, who has endured an awful start to his MLS season.

Player to watch: Landon Donavon

Donavon is one American who’d probably make it in the EPL that isn’t a goalie, the danger man for the Americans I feel!

Useless Facts

Villa have American owners, and Vital Villa have a number of American members. So here we go for all those that are part of the non-Yank membership, a chance to learn their national anthem, lyrics posted, backing music from the late and great Mr Hendrix:

O! say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming.
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming.
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

…and the UK’s similarly adapted version of it’s national anthem:

God save the queen
The fascist regime
They made you a moron
Potential H-bomb

God save the queen
She ain't no human being
There is no future
In England's dreaming

Don't be told what you want
Don't be told what you need
There's no future, no future,
No future for you

God save the queen
We mean it man
We love our queen
God saves

Anyway enough of that, time for some real facts:

I have been to America on a number of occasions and have entered the country untroubled at all times!

You have to wonder what the immigrant fuss is all about!

The nation wouldn’t be what it is without the help of European explorers who discovered the country way way back.

You’d have thought they’d have found a better way to show gratitude than to drag us into a couple of wars!

American Randy Lerner owns Aston Villa, having taken over from Deadly Doug Ellis a couple of seasons ago. For that we are grateful, although he could do with booting manager O’Neill up the arse a tad, to prompt him into transfer action!

The US soccer tournament, the MLS, was founded in 1993. By 2010 the league will have 16 teams, with new entrants Toronto FC (linked recently to an EPL takeover) joined by Terry Henry fanciers the Seattle Sounders, and the Philadelphia…er…franchise (no name yet!)

Ref Watch:

If anyone knows who the referee is, feel free to get in touch or to leave a comment. As for now I can only say that the referee is likely to be wearing black, or possibly yellow, will be carrying a watch, some cards, a notebook and may or may not have an earpiece to talk to his assistants.

Match Prediction:

There are rumours that suggest that it could be a highly inexperienced line-up that will feature for the main of the match. I’m going to go with the impressive team USA (2008 wise) in a narrow 3-2 victory as Wembley enjoys a pre-summer feast of football.

Next up from Vital Villa:

I will be previewing an England, Ireland, N.Ireland, Scotland and Wales-less Euro 2008.

The Journalist

Writer: Murph Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday May 28 2008

Time: 3:13PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
You know, if it wasn't for the better half's constant jibes about what her lot (Uncle Sams boys), are going to do to us this evening, I dont think I'd be in the slightest bit interested in this totally pointless match-up. Be interesting to see how many punters actually bother turning up to watch the game. Great preview murph - fully enjoyed the read.
Report Abuse
28/05/2008 18:25:00
A fair few by the looks of it.

I posted both "anthems" in tongue-in-cheek. Was fascinating to see how in reality, both were reacted to.
Report Abuse
28/05/2008 20:21:00
Not the best of games was it? A comfortable enough victory against relatively poor opposition, who offered very little.
Report Abuse
28/05/2008 22:36:00
What's the betting Rafa picks up on the Barry to Gerrard pass from the game and kicks off Round 7 of the battle of words...
Report Abuse
28/05/2008 22:43:00
If not him, some red-top will help them out.
Report Abuse
28/05/2008 22:51:00
yup, great pass, great finish, Liverpool will be back in. Maybe we should put in a bid for Gerrad instead! I do hate friendlies and nothing tonight made me change my mind!
The Fear
Report Abuse
28/05/2008 23:07:00
is it me or was that match the most boring game ever? what was the ref doing? should have been an extra 45 mins injury time due to the amount of time the ref needlessly blew the whistle
Astonian Villan
Report Abuse
29/05/2008 09:04:00

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