Aston Villa Forum - The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
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The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
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Posted 23/5/2015 06:00
#1521062 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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When asked what he would use his large settlement from the Sun for Paul Gascoigne answered,

"Well, I won't be squandering it on food and investments or other shit like that."


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Posted 23/5/2015 06:04
#1521063 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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"Come on love, face down ass up! What the fuck don't you understand?!"

Anyway, we lost the wheelbarrow race...


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Posted 23/5/2015 06:05
#1521064 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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After weeks of online chatting, I arranged to meet Clare, the undercover police woman.

Imagine my shock when she turned out to be a nine-year-old boy.


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Posted 23/5/2015 06:07
#1521065 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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A food bank for Koreans has been opened up near us.

You can hear the barking and yelping for miles around.


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Posted 23/5/2015 06:09
#1521066 - in reply to #1521065
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
So Paul Gascoigne has been given £188,250 by the Sun. Or, in terms that he would understand: 103,292 cans of Carlsberg Special Brew.


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Posted 23/5/2015 06:11
#1521067 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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I recently started sending money to Africa to sponsor a child.

I received a letter saying I was now sponsoring a little girl called Liza.

So I sent her a bucket with a hole in it.


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Posted 23/5/2015 06:12
#1521068 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Jeremy Clarkson has said that leaving the BBC has left "a big hole that needs filling."

Well, if he tells them the hole belongs to someone who's underage, I'm sure there is someone at the BBC who's willing to fill it.


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Posted 23/5/2015 06:13
#1521069 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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A 74 year old woman, named Jill, has fallen down a hill and died of head injuries.

"That woman never could get anything right," said her companion, Jack.


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