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Random quote: Not sure what Mr. Gold is after other than publicity. When you get down in the mud and wrestle with a pig, the pig loves it...and you get muddy. I think I will just let him continue to talk. General Krulak
The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
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Posted 30/8/2015 06:46
#1552557 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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To put Britains immigration crisis into perspective in order for Cameron to keep his promise to cut net migration to the tens of thousands he is going to need 3,240 refrigerated lorries.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:21
#1553231 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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I thought chiropractors were a waste of money, but i stand corrected.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:23
#1553232 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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The police are always taking people down to the station and asking them questions.

They should just hire smarter police.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:24
#1553233 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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I'll tell you what is bordering on the ridiculous...

Canada.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:25
#1553234 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 49410
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I knew I was getting old when a fortune teller offered to read my face.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:27
#1553235 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Tonight's OCD meeting is on, off, on, off, on.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:29
#1553236 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Me and my girl are in a long distance relationship.

Fucking restraining orders.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:32
#1553237 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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I have a friend who's half Indian.

Ian.
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Posted 1/9/2015 06:33
#1553238 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Peppa Pig.

Combine either of those elements into a spray and you've got a handy weapon for warding off Muslims.

Which is probably why it's so popular with children.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:36
#1553239 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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I could tell the wife didn't want me to have sex with her tonight.


She left the light on.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:39
#1553240 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 49410
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
My daughter asked, "Why is the soap in the shower hanging on a rope?"

I replied, "Because it saw your mother naked."

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:40
#1553241 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 49410
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CHERYL FERNANDEZ-VERSINI is said to be deeply embarrassed after her face was used in an X-rated video.
If she's being fucked by a white guy it has to be fake.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:41
#1553242 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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"Do know why you've been arrested?" asked the cop.

"Because my girlfriend is a bitch," I replied.

"Yes," he said, as he patted her and called the RSPCA.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:43
#1553243 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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I love proving people wrong. Like when people say 'pleased to meet you'.

I soon make them regret it.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:44
#1553244 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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71 illegal immigrants found suffocated in the back of a wagon in Austria.

Carlsberg don't give lifts to ragheads, but..........

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:46
#1553245 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I saw a woman going to a masked ball today.

I became excited, so I asked her if I could join in, but she told me to fuck off.

Turns out she was going to a mosque.

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Posted 1/9/2015 06:48
#1553246 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 49410
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
"Mummy, mummy, my best friend Jeremy has got a willy like a peanut!"

"Do you mean it's small?"

"No, it's salty!"

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