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The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
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Posted 21/4/2015 07:13
#1511208 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
What's got 20 faces and 3 teeth?

An episode of Jeremy Kyle.


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Posted 21/4/2015 07:14
#1511209 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I think my wife may be on her way to help the African migrants.

She hired a pedalo on a beach in Malta this morning, and hasn't been seen since


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Posted 21/4/2015 07:22
#1511210 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
BBC News - Plane Spotters freed from UAE prison.

They are now able to return to the UK mental institution they escaped from


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Posted 21/4/2015 07:23
#1511211 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Alzheimer's is an illness that creeps up on you slowly.

Like Greville Janner.


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Posted 21/4/2015 07:29
#1511212 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
After much discussion, my wife has decided to have her eggs frozen.

She bought far too many at Easter again


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Posted 21/4/2015 07:31
#1511213 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Liverpool had better start rifling through the Argos catalogue to find Steven Gerrard an alternative birthday present.


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Posted 21/4/2015 07:39
#1511216 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
"A6"

"Miss"

"B9"

"Hit. You just sank my inflatable dinghy with 700 Somalis on it"

"D3"

"Hit. You got my rowing boat with 200 Syrians"


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Posted 21/4/2015 07:41
#1511217 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I shook my wife and said, "You need to wake up and smell the coffee."

She said, "Why, what the hell is wrong?"

I said, "I'm not certain, but I think it's gone off."


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Posted 21/4/2015 07:42
#1511218 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
How can anyone not believe in climate change?

Look at all the Syrians who used to live in a desert who are now under water


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Posted 21/4/2015 07:45
#1511219 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
BBC News - Hundreds of people are feared to have drowned after a boat carrying up to 700 migrants capsized in the Mediterranean Sea.

The Italian Coastguard have dropped bars of soap in the immediate area so that any non-muslims can be washed ashore

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Posted 21/4/2015 07:47
#1511220 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 44217
5000500050005000500050005000500020002000100100
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Now that dogs have been shown to be able to sniff out cancer, is this the end for the cat scan?


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