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The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
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Posted 5/3/2015 06:34
#1497854 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I held her hand, looked her in the eye and whispered, "Before we go on, do you have any STDs?"

Then for some reason she put down the menu, got up from the table and fucked off.


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Posted 5/3/2015 06:38
#1497855 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
My date asked me, "What's your most recent regret?"

"Booking this restaurant."

"Really?" she said, "Why's that?"

I said, "Because you look nothing like your profile picture".


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Posted 5/3/2015 06:41
#1497856 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I was doing a career workshop and I asked this lad what he wanted to do,
"I want to extort money, I want to cheat, I want to be feared, I want to walk into places and a silence falls, " he replied.

"But Abdul, you're already a Muslim, " I said.


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Posted 5/3/2015 06:43
#1497857 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Checked my Facebook emails for the first time this week.

Missed the wife's Birthday.


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Posted 5/3/2015 06:48
#1497858 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
If I really wanted to see a picture of a weasel riding a bird...

I think I should wait for Adam Johnson's prosecution evidence.


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Posted 5/3/2015 06:48
#1497859 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Danny Dyer.. His name or a description of his acting ?....












Edited by Pride of Lions 5/3/2015 06:50
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Posted 5/3/2015 06:53
#1497861 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
500050005000500050005000500050002000500100100252525
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I got really excited when I thought I 'd seen a rare Russian military transport plane while out plane spotting.

Turned out it was just an optical Ilyushin.


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Posted 5/3/2015 06:57
#1497862 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
500050005000500050005000500050002000500100100252525
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish one?

A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.


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Posted 5/3/2015 06:58
#1497863 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
If elected, Ed Miliband has promised to reduce student fees. 'I was lucky enough to go to a paid school' he said, 'and I want the same kind of excellent education to be available to 80% of youngsters - with only the other 30% going to state schools.'


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Posted 5/3/2015 06:59
#1497864 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42775
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
What's Islam's favourite type of goat?

The scapegoat.


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