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The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
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Posted 27/1/2015 08:07
#1482870 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41842
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Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
Why are women's wedding dresses white?

So they match all the other appliances in the kitchen.


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Posted 27/1/2015 08:08
#1482871 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41842
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Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
Demis Roussos has died.

It's a good job he wasn't a Scouser otherwise we'd have heard about it forever and ever.


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Posted 28/1/2015 04:28
#1483179 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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I only have one word for women who look at me like I'm some kind of sex object...

Hi.

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Posted 28/1/2015 05:37
#1483184 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41842
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Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I robbed a bank earlier.

Fuck knows what I'm gonna do with all this sperm.


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Posted 28/1/2015 05:40
#1483185 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41842
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Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
Atheists are no longer persecuted, thank God!!
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Posted 28/1/2015 05:41
#1483186 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41842
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Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I have just been diagnosed with Early Onset Alzhei Mary had a little lamb
and the cow jumped Merry Christmas everyone..


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Posted 28/1/2015 05:47
#1483187 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41842
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Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
It may not come as a surprise that my son has an English teacher.

Until I tell you we live in Bradford.


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Posted 28/1/2015 05:58
#1483188 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41842
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My wife is so useless at giving hand jobs that if she was milking a cow she'd make the fucking thing jump up and down itself.


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Posted 28/1/2015 06:01
#1483189 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41842
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In 1555, Nostradamus wrote: Come the millennium, the village idiot will come forth to be acclaimed the leader.

That's amazing! How could he have known about the Labour party back then?


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Posted 28/1/2015 06:07
#1483190 - in reply to #1483189
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
Things were getting hot and steamy with my blonde busty date on the sofa when she said, "Fancy taking me upstairs and bending me over?"

I said, "I would but I doubt the old lady in the flat above would be too happy!"


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Posted 28/1/2015 06:07
#1483191 - in reply to #1483189
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41842
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Location: usually within arms length from my laptop

I've just sold a guitar to Prince for 20 quid.

He said tonight he's going to party like it's £19.99.






Edited by Pride of Lions 28/1/2015 06:10
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