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The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
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Posted 29/5/2015 06:55
#1522817 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Finding out FIFA is corrupt is like finding out Gary Glitter is a bad baby sitter!!!!


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Posted 29/5/2015 06:59
#1522818 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 45575
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
A gigantic spaceship landed and a voice proclaimed,

"We have come to take the followers of Islam to live on another planet."

There was much cheering and joy until a voice shouted out,

"There's no need to mate, they already fucking do"


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Posted 29/5/2015 07:01
#1522819 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
"Have a good day" my boss said

So I fucked off home


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Posted 29/5/2015 07:02
#1522820 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 45575
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I'm very old fashioned when it comes to sex.

I blow up my doll with a pair of bellows.


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Posted 29/5/2015 07:05
#1522821 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 45575
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I have had to sack my Ethiopian window cleaner.

Every time he needed to refill his bucket he walked to the next town to do it.



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Posted 29/5/2015 07:07
#1522822 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 45575
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
My Grandad's so old that he remembers when X Factor was just a Roman Sun cream


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Posted 29/5/2015 07:08
#1522823 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Sepp Blatter was asked if he thinks any more of his executive committee will be arrested for corruption.

He said he doesn't know what the future holds, except for who's hosting the next 5 World Cups.


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Posted 29/5/2015 07:10
#1522824 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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My wife's been confined to a wheelchair.

I need to raise the floor in the kitchen so she can still use the cooker and sink.

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Posted 29/5/2015 07:11
#1522825 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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After the latest round of arrests at FIFA. Sepp Blatter has announced that TEFLON have now agreed a multi billion dollar sponsorship deal for the next World Cup.


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Posted 29/5/2015 07:13
#1522826 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
FBI agents arrest 6 FIFA officials on allegations of bribery and corruption.

Later in the day the lead FBI agent informed reporters that "it has all been a misunderstanding and all charges are to be dropped", as he drove away in his brand new Bugatti Veyron.


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