UK time is: 16:12:37

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Search Forums | Calendars | Albums | Quotes | Language
You are logged in as a guest. ( logon | register | forgotten password )Vital Villa on FacebookVital Villa on Twitter
 

Random quote: "The hardest part of captaining that team was tossing the coin and picking up the trophies" Sir Dennis Of Mortimer
The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
Jump to page : < ... 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 >
Now viewing page 831 [17 messages per page]
Previous thread :: Next thread
   Vital Villa Forum » Witton Lane 

Posted 27/7/2014 08:17
#1432087 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman and by far the best way is by text while at the pub!

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 27/7/2014 08:19
#1432088 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
After the birth of our third child, my wife suggested that I should get a vasectomy.

"Don't be silly," I told her.

"You know your sister cant have kids."
Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 27/7/2014 08:23
#1432089 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I bought a bottle of Sprite earlier. On top it said 'Twist cap to open'.

I thought "Shit... I'm not wearing a cap.."

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 27/7/2014 08:25
#1432090 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
A judge is being investigated after being accused of falling asleep during a child rape trial at Manchester Crown Court.

After Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, Gary Glitter, Max Clifford, the BBC, Cyril Smith, the Westminster paedophile ring and the Catholic Church, I can understand why they're getting bored now.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 27/7/2014 08:26
#1432091 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I got attacked by a bunch of bees today.

They robbed me of my Nectar points.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 27/7/2014 08:29
#1432092 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I'm not one for blowing my own trumpet.

To be honest, I'm starting to think it was a fucking waste of money.


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 27/7/2014 08:31
#1432093 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
My neighbour Abdul has already started his Christmas countdown.

Only 1 shower to go.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 27/7/2014 08:32
#1432094 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
Sham Marriages 'Rising At Alarming Rate' In UK.

Katie Price has a lot to answer for.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 29/7/2014 22:32
#1432913 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
Southampton have become the first club to be AWARDED 10 points for financial irregularity.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 29/7/2014 22:39
#1432914 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
My wife turned to me and said, "I'm horny, want to go upstairs?"

Smiling, I said, "Definitely."

She replied, "Great. Throw my dildo down while you're up there."

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 29/7/2014 22:48
#1432916 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
What's the difference between Liverpool FC and a Catholic gift shop?

You'll find more old saints at Liverpool FC.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 29/7/2014 23:08
#1432922 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
Muslim transvestites:

Fuck, do they have it easy.


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 29/7/2014 23:14
#1432923 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I was nervous starting my new job as a street cleaner yesterday.

Luckily I picked things up straight away.


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 29/7/2014 23:17
#1432924 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
What's red and white with eight legs and often found in the showers?

What's left of the Southampton Football squad


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 29/7/2014 23:20
#1432925 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
'Tens of thousands of city Muslims flocked to a Birmingham park for one of the biggest Eid celebrations in the country.'

'An estimated 40,000 people gathered in Small Heath Park before 8am on today to participate in the Eid prayer, which marks the end of fasting for Ramadan.'

Well if there was ever a 'right time' for setting off a suicide bomb, it's passed them by.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 29/7/2014 23:24
#1432926 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 37283
50005000500050005000500050002000100100252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
BREAKING NEWS: Liverpool FC have announced they are going to rename their club to Scousehampton.


Top of the page Bottom of the page
Jump to page : < ... 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 >
Now viewing page 831 [17 messages per page]
Jump to forum :
Search this forum
Printer friendly version
E-mail a link to this thread

Vital Villa - The Latest News

resource/teams/astonvilla/667_a.jpg

Villa XI To Visit Swindon

An Aston Villa XI side will make the trip to Swindon in early August for a pre season friendly....

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/chesterfield/311_a.jpg

Chesterfield v Villa Screened Live

For subscribers of AVTV, Aston Villa will be streaming the game tonight live on line....

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/astonvilla/727_a.jpg

Lambert Thrilled With US Tour

Manager Paul Lambert has said he was very pleased with our mini Texan tour and he was delighted to sign off our time in the States with a win....

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/astonvilla/754_a.jpg

Houston 0-1 Aston Villa

We've won a Cup, we have some silverware...am I dreaming? Joe Bennett scored, I must be!...

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/chelsea/326_a.jpg

Lambert On Cole Omission, & Zoggy Praise

Manager Paul Lambert has explained that new summer signing Joe Cole was missing from the team against FC Dallas earlier today because he picked up a minor......

Click here to read full article

Breaking League News

Cavanda Attracting Sunderland Interest?
Sunderland : 30/07/2014 16:02:00
Villa XI To Visit Swindon
Aston Villa : 30/07/2014 15:42:00
Lukaku deal is done
Everton : 30/07/2014 14:59:00
Gamboa In Work Permit Problem
WBA : 30/07/2014 14:48:00
No Schneiderlin Transfer Request
Southampton : 30/07/2014 14:37:00

Other Network News

Ericsson and Perez ok after crashes
Vital F1 : 30/07/2014 10:00:00
Porter's Looking Past Brook Title Clash!
Vital Boxing : 29/07/2014 18:48:00
Golden Boy Chase Golovkin for Quillin Showdown!
Vital Boxing : 29/07/2014 18:30:00
lklklk
Vital Boxing : 29/07/2014 16:00:00
lklklk
Vital F1 : 29/07/2014 16:00:00
India Move Past 200
Vital Cricket : 29/07/2014 15:55:00
England v India
Vital Cricket : 29/07/2014 14:12:00
Vettel rumours are bull**** says Lauda
Vital F1 : 29/07/2014 12:00:00
Blog: Hungarian GP Report
Vital F1 : 29/07/2014 11:00:00
And the Losers Are?
Vital Boxing : 28/07/2014 16:32:00
England Lions Squad
Vital Cricket : 24/07/2014 14:39:00
England Squad
Vital Cricket : 23/07/2014 16:19:00
(Delete all cookies set by this site)