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The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
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Posted 3/3/2015 06:58
#1496843 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42734
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Me and my wife have been arguing a lot lately, so I've decided so seek some professional help.

A hitman.


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Posted 3/3/2015 07:04
#1496845 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42734
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Typical, take Adam Johnson out of my dream team and he goes and scores.


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Posted 3/3/2015 07:08
#1496846 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42734
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
A stunning 25 year old girl offered to have sex with me this morning if I agreed to promote a cleaning product on this website.

Obviously I declined her offer immediately as I have very strong morals and will power as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner which now comes scented with Lemon, Lavender or vanilla....


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Posted 3/3/2015 07:12
#1496847 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42734
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
"Latte please," I said to the girl in Starbucks.

"Regular?"

"Hardly. It's the first time I've been in here."

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Posted 3/3/2015 07:17
#1496849 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42734
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
The wife was on eBay last night when she said " I can't see what all the fuss is about !"

When I went over she was looking at loads of grey lampshades

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Posted 3/3/2015 07:20
#1496850 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42734
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
My doctor quit halfway through giving me a prostate exam today.

Well, I think he did. I couldn't quite hear over my fart.


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Posted 3/3/2015 07:21
#1496851 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42734
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Now that Jihadi John's identity has been revealed.

Police are keen to locate his young bride who crossed into Syria from Portugal.

Jihadi Maddie.







Edited by Pride of Lions 3/3/2015 07:27
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Posted 3/3/2015 07:28
#1496852 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42734
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
By my calculations, if black and blue is really white and gold ... then black policemen are C-3PO out of Star Wars.


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Posted 3/3/2015 07:34
#1496853 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 42734
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Last night my daughter saw a purple ghost.

It's probably just a methylated spirit.


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