Aston Villa Forum - The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
UK time is: 14:08:47

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Search Forums | Calendars | Albums | Quotes | Language
You are logged in as a guest. ( logon | register | forgotten password )Vital Villa on FacebookVital Villa on Twitter
 

Random quote: I may be wrong here but only slightly if I am at all, but I think I'm right BEEFY
The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
Jump to page : < ... 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007 1008 >
Now viewing page 1008 [17 messages per page]
Previous thread :: Next thread
   Vital Villa Forum » Witton Lane 

Posted 2/8/2015 06:34
#1543816 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Started up a website for women drivers only.

Bloody thing kept crashing...

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 06:35
#1543817 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
What's the difference between the Hwange National Park and the England badge?

The England badge still has three lions.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 06:38
#1543818 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
"Don't lie to me I know you are having an affair with the gardener" I said to my wife

"What made you suspect something?" she asked

"Because we live in a flat" I replied

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 06:40
#1543819 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
The situation with all these desperate African immigrants fleeing persecution is getting a bit ridiculous now.

I've just got back from Calais to find a family of lions from Hwange National Park hiding in my boot.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 06:40
#1543820 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I wonder who will be found first? That American dentist who is in hiding after killing Cecil the lion or a British dentist still taking NHS patients.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 06:44
#1543821 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
David Attenborough has been filming a rare large white wading bird in Africa.

Customs discovered the footage and arrested him for Storking.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 06:45
#1543822 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Teamwork is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 06:46
#1543823 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
"Fuck these flying ants!" I said to my wife as I walked in from the garden,

"With what you've got, you probably could," she sneered.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 06:49
#1543824 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
American military intelligence is shit.

If they looked at the news, they would find that most of the Muslims are hiding in Calais.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 06:54
#1543825 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I won the Lottery last night.

I haven't told the wife yet, I can't use my phone on the plane.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 07:08
#1543826 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Today, I walked into a restaurant.

"Hi, is my table ready?"

"No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?"

"No, that's okay."

"Great, take these to table six then."

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 07:09
#1543827 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
You can learn a lot about people from Facebook.

Sarah Jones: is off for a bath
Comments

John Marsden: wave to the camera

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 07:10
#1543828 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Being a postman has it's advantages, you can learn a lot about people from their mail.

For example, the man at No25 likes model making, and he won't be getting any money for his birthday again this year.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 07:11
#1543829 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
"You can tell a lot about a person by their car."

For example: if it's in a ditch, it's a woman.

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 2/8/2015 07:12
#1543830 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 48232
5000500050005000500050005000500050002000100010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
You can tell a lot about a person by their eyes.

For example, if they don't have any, they're blind

Top of the page Bottom of the page
Jump to page : < ... 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007 1008 >
Now viewing page 1008 [17 messages per page]
Jump to forum :
Search this forum
Printer friendly version
E-mail a link to this thread

Vital Villa - The Latest News

resource/teams/astonvilla/167_a.jpg

Former Manchester Utd Striker Still Linked To Vill

Still getting links to Dimitar Berbatov and another report says talks are ongoing with Emmanuel Adebayor...

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/astonvilla/864_a.jpg

Takeover, Clark & Other Bits

It's a slow Sunday today and one particular redtop has decided to spark takeover debates again....

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/astonvilla/893_a.jpg

Friendly - Nottingham Forest 3-3 Villa

Winger Scott Sinclair's hattrick at the City Ground wasn't enough to give Aston Villa the win in our final pre season friendly of the summer....

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/blackburn/471_a.jpg

New Duo Give Interviews

New signings Rudy Gestede and Jordan Veretout have given their first proper interviews since signing for the club....

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/astonvilla/903_a.jpg

Sherwood Delighted With Villa Rebuild

Manager Tim Sherwood has said he's been delighted with his 'rebuilding process' at the club following yet more signings this summer transfer window....

Click here to read full article

Breaking League News

Norwich Sink to New Commercial Depths
Norwich : 03/08/2015 11:03:00
Stones to play big part in Everton future
Everton : 03/08/2015 11:00:01
West Ham 1 Werder Bremen 2
West Ham : 03/08/2015 10:50:01
Valencia`s Big Day
West Ham : 03/08/2015 10:37:00
Rooney pleased with Everton return
Everton : 03/08/2015 10:00:00

Other Network News

Ferrari speculation affecting Bottas
Vital F1 : 03/08/2015 11:00:00
Rose Gets Revenge over Carson
Vital Boxing : 02/08/2015 11:36:01
Burns Win with Strange 5th Round Decision
Vital Boxing : 02/08/2015 11:29:00
Whyte Blows Away Opponent in 1st Round
Vital Boxing : 02/08/2015 11:02:00
Campbell Stops Coyle in Hull Thriller
Vital Boxing : 02/08/2015 10:52:01
Does Ferrari's Raikkonen option expire today?
Vital F1 : 31/07/2015 10:00:00
Double podium for Red Bull Racing
Vital F1 : 30/07/2015 10:00:01
Vettel dedicates victory to Bianchi
Vital F1 : 29/07/2015 10:00:00
 
(Delete all cookies set by this site)
0