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The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
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Posted 3/7/2015 07:03
#1533005 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I've got viagraphobia.

It makes me scared stiff.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:23
#1533651 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
If you ever feel useless then remember: it's somebody's job to fit indicators to BMWs.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:25
#1533652 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
The mechanic was just finishing the blondes car service when he said to the apprentice,

"Just pass me the lubricant will you please Tim. "

"Oh dear, " said the watching blonde, "can't I just pay cash? "


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:28
#1533653 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Roger Federer is just world class!

I haven't seen this many precise backhands since Ulrika Jonsson undercooked Stan Collymore's dinner.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:30
#1533654 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Once again the time has come for 200 men to strap on some lycra and cycle thousands of miles through beautiful French countryside, up mountains and through the streets of Paris so we can find out who is this year's best drug dealer.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:32
#1533655 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
4th of July - where most Americans believe they celebrate the defeating of the Nazis during the war against Canada in Mexico


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:35
#1533656 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Today I was shocked at the reports in newspaper that Britons would be a minority in their own country by 2070.

I always thought it'd be sometime around 2025.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:37
#1533657 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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A UK family of 12 who went missing from their home in Luton have been found.

Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed and Mohammed are said to be "safe and well" with Islamic State.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:38
#1533658 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

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Yesterday was the most emotional I've seen Serena Williams since she got the chair at the end of The Green Mile


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:40
#1533659 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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How many Thai women does it take to change a light bulb?

One.

It's a man.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:42
#1533660 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
500050005000500050005000500050005000100050010010010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Following the Charleston massacre, governors in southern states of America are calling for the Confederate flag to be banned from licence plates.

This is not going down with Rednecks, who say they should be be able to put any type of licence plate they want on their house.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:43
#1533662 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I've just created a dating website aimed at fat people.

Plenty of Chips.

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Posted 5/7/2015 07:46
#1533663 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Me and my scouse girlfriend are like chalk and cheese.

I'm white, she's orange.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:48
#1533664 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I went into town and picked up a load of holiday brochures.

Then spent a relaxing two weeks reading them.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:50
#1533665 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Whenever my wife wears her sexy underwear it can only mean one thing.

She's fallen behind with the washing.


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Posted 5/7/2015 07:52
#1533666 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
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Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
I got a promotion at Sainsbury's the other day for massively increasing our fruit and vegetable sales.

All I did was stick the bananas and the cucumbers next to the 50 Shades DVDs.

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Posted 5/7/2015 07:54
#1533668 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 46930
500050005000500050005000500050005000100050010010010010025
Location: Sunny Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
North Korea have stormed home to victory at the FIFA Women's World Cup, with Kim Jong-Un making several goal-line clearances and scoring all three goals.


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