UK time is: 23:08:47

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Search Forums | Calendars | Albums | Quotes | Language
You are logged in as a guest. ( logon | register | forgotten password )Vital Villa on FacebookVital Villa on Twitter
 

Random quote: I am an inebriated idiot and I sit in the holte (meyouldy)
The Tim Vine style one liner thread.
Jump to page : < ... 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 >
Now viewing page 905 [17 messages per page]
Previous thread :: Next thread
   Vital Villa Forum » Witton Lane 

Posted 17/12/2014 10:55
#1469419 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
The Sydney terrorist was out on bail for murder and over 40 counts of sexual assault.

He has since been offered a chance to relaunch Top of the Pops by the BBC.


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 17/12/2014 10:57
#1469420 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I have finally packed my job in after 20 years of driving a taxi in london. Just got fed up of people talking behind my back all day.



Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 21/12/2014 01:25
#1470224 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I told my doctor, "My girlfriend thinks I'm paranoid."

"What do you want me to do?" he asked.

I said, "Stop having sex with her."

Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 21/12/2014 01:26
#1470225 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of 'fuck.'

What the make love is she talking about?


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 21/12/2014 01:28
#1470226 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
50 percent off glasses in Specsavers today.

I Came out with a monocle.


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 21/12/2014 01:29
#1470227 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I love my wife, she always gives me 100% sound advice.

99% sound, 1% advice.


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 21/12/2014 01:31
#1470229 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I was driving down the road when my car started making a strange sound.

Bump, bump, bump, just like a drum.

Then I realised it was my Tom Tom


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 21/12/2014 01:33
#1470230 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
Putin: It's too early to decide if I will run for re-election in 2018.

But not too early to decide the results.


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 21/12/2014 01:35
#1470231 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I just got a right bollocking off my my wife, during her fathers 90th birthday.

'You're disgusting, selfish and out of touch' she yelled.

Personally, I thought he loved the strippers.


Top of the page Bottom of the page

Posted 21/12/2014 01:39
#1470232 - in reply to #988165
Subject: Re: The Tim Vine style one liner thread.



Vital Villa Legend

Posts: 41092
500050005000500050005000500050001000252525
Location: usually within arms length from my laptop
I bought an Internet Explorer advent calendar.

It takes fucking ages to open a window.


Top of the page Bottom of the page
Jump to page : < ... 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 >
Now viewing page 905 [17 messages per page]
Jump to forum :
Search this forum
Printer friendly version
E-mail a link to this thread

Vital Villa - The Latest News

resource/teams/astonvilla/854_a.jpg

Bent Wants Brighton Stay

Having grabbed his second goal for Brighton and Hove Albion in four appearances, striker Darren Bent has said he wants to remain at The Amex Stadium......

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/astonvilla/863_a.jpg

Lambert To Complete Cleverley Deal?

Late last night it appears the press remembered we had a fixed fee buy clause inserted into the loan deal of Manchester United midfielder Tom Cleverley......

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/astonvilla/844_a.jpg

Mixed Emotions Following Manchester United Draw

Manager Paul Lambert has admitted it's very much a case of mixed emotions for him at full time following the one all draw with Manchester United today....

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/astonvilla/343_a.jpg

Heroic Effort By Aston Villa v Man Utd Today

Great effort, great game, fabulous goal by Benteke. All in all, I think I might have a little smile!...

Click here to read full article
resource/teams/general/999999_a.jpg

Breaking League News

Sunderland Beat Newcastle Yet Again
» Sunderland : 21/12/2014 22:31:00
Anfield Points Lost, Saved, Won And Dropped
» Arsenal : 21/12/2014 21:25:00
» Liverpool : 21/12/2014 20:00:00
Bent Wants Brighton Stay
» Aston Villa : 21/12/2014 19:18:00
Prem - Hull 0-1 Swansea
» Hull City : 21/12/2014 18:35:00

Other Network News

Arrest Made in Crolla Assault
» Vital Boxing : 20/12/2014 13:09:00
Is Somebody Bluffing?
» Vital Boxing : 20/12/2014 13:02:00
The Return of Rocky Fielding
» Vital Boxing : 20/12/2014 10:55:00
Khan’s Magnanimous Gesture
» Vital Boxing : 20/12/2014 10:33:00
Trio depart Ferrari
» Vital F1 : 19/12/2014 10:00:00
Ecclestone to propose v8 return
» Vital F1 : 18/12/2014 09:59:00
20 stolen Red Bull trophies recovered
» Vital F1 : 17/12/2014 09:00:00
Gutierrez joins Ferrari
» Vital F1 : 16/12/2014 10:00:00
(Delete all cookies set by this site)