Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc In the Dressing Room Before West Ham

@VillasHerc In the Dressing Room Before West Ham

*We join the lads gearing up for their crunch tie against West Ham. Lambert enters to find the players eying the new signings speculatively.*

Clark: Um….. Boss…. How much do you know about these new players?

Lambert: Know about them? How`d you mean?

Gabby: Like this guy…

Lambert: Yes, Yacouba Sylla….

Clark: Is he Yacouba Sylla though? I mean he looks an awful lot like a guy wearing a cardboard cut-out mask of Demba Ba.

Sylla: What!? Zis is 'ow you say? Ridiculous!

Clark: Well your hands are white for a start….You`re not Barton are you!?

*The lads all gasp, Gabby leaps forward, tearing the mask from "Sylla`s" face*

All the lads: Paul Faulkner!?

Faulkner: What I am not zis Faulkner you speak of, I am Yacouba Sylla, ze footballing man.

Weimann: He`s not Sylla he looks nothing like the picture on Wikipedia.

Faulkner: Wikipedia!? Everyone is knowing 'alf of ze things on zat are made up.

Gabby: He does have a point….

Clark: Gabby it`s Faulkner. Give it up Paul!

Faulkner: Oh alright. I would have gotten away with too if it wasn`t for you meddling kids….. And your stupid dog!

*The lads look around their feet confused.*

Faulkner: Perhaps if you were as perceptive during corners I wouldn`t have to pretend to be a bloody signing!

*Faulkner storms out*

Lambert: Well, that was unexpected. At least we still have Simon Dawkins, who I expect to make a decent impact.

Dawkins: Why thank you there sir. I certainly will try my gosh darnest.

Delph: Boss…. Isn`t that just Randy Lerner in really offensive blackface make up?

Lambert: What? Fabian don`t be so silly I think I would recognise my 50 year old white boss masquerading as a 25 year old black athlete?......Jesus….. It`s you, isn`t it Mr.Lerner?

Dawkins: Yes sir.

*"Dawkins" bows his head and shuffles out of the room.*

Gabby: Oh well boss no worries eh? You said before we signed anybody we were good enough to stay up so….

*Lambert glares at Gabby*

Gabby: What?








Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday February 8 2013
Time: 9:31PM

Comments

0
Lol.... check Dawkins for any tattoos arond his ankles.... Classic Hercs.
Pride of Lions
09/02/2013 00:43:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Elphick's Superstitions To Continue

New centre half Tommy Elphick has insisted his pre match ritual of attacking the goal posts instead of having a team photo will continue following his move to Aston Villa.

No Sinclair To Celtic - But Crespo Off

It's being reported that Aston Villa have rejected a £2million offer from Celtic for Scott Sinclair, but Jose Angel Crespo wants the 'PAOK' option to bring an end to his time with us.

Petrov To Resume Villa Training

Aston Villa have confirmed that Stiliyan Petrov will join up with the boys for pre season training, and he's been invited by new manager Roberto Di Matteo to join...

Elphick Relishing Promotion Pressure

New signing, and Roberto Di Matteo's first capture from Bournemouth, Tommy Elphick has said he's relishing the pressure of helping Aston Villa return...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Elphick?
Suggested By: JP Fear
Great, solid signing80%
Ok signing5%
Meh signing15%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Burnley 46 26 15 5 93 37
P Middlesbrough 46 26 11 9 89 32
3 Brighton 46 24 17 5 89 30
4 Hull City 46 24 11 11 83 34
5 Derby County 46 21 15 10 78 23
6 Sheff Wed 46 19 17 10 74 21
7 Ipswich 46 18 15 13 69 2
8 Cardiff 46 17 17 12 68 5
9 Brentford 46 19 8 19 65 5
10 Birmingham 46 16 15 15 63 4
11 Preston 46 15 17 14 62 0
12 Q.P.R. 46 14 18 14 60 0
13 Leeds Utd 46 14 17 15 59 -8
14 Wolves 46 14 16 16 58 -5
15 Blackburn 46 13 16 17 55 0
16 Forest 46 13 16 17 55 -4
17 Reading 46 13 13 20 52 -7
18 Bristol City 46 13 13 20 52 -17
19 Huddersfield 46 13 12 21 51 -11
20 Fulham 46 12 15 19 51 -13
21 Rotherham 46 13 10 23 49 -18
R Charlton 46 9 13 24 40 -40
R MK Dons 46 9 12 25 39 -30
R Bolton 46 5 15 26 30 -40
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Sainz expected to stay with Red Bull stable
Latest Vital Boxing News
Liam Smith Next up for Saul ‘Canelo’ Alvarez
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear365
2.BodyButter153
3.sirdennis152
4.Fulford135
5.JuanPabloAngel112
6.kefkat101
7.DeanoVilla89
8.glensider89
9.Melon Donkey76
10.Silhillvilla70
The Vital Football Members League