UK time is: 08:44:35
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

@VillasHerc In the Dressing Room Before West Ham

*We join the lads gearing up for their crunch tie against West Ham. Lambert enters to find the players eying the new signings speculatively.*

Clark: Um….. Boss…. How much do you know about these new players?

Lambert: Know about them? How`d you mean?

Gabby: Like this guy…

Lambert: Yes, Yacouba Sylla….

Clark: Is he Yacouba Sylla though? I mean he looks an awful lot like a guy wearing a cardboard cut-out mask of Demba Ba.

Sylla: What!? Zis is 'ow you say? Ridiculous!

Clark: Well your hands are white for a start….You`re not Barton are you!?

*The lads all gasp, Gabby leaps forward, tearing the mask from "Sylla`s" face*

All the lads: Paul Faulkner!?

Faulkner: What I am not zis Faulkner you speak of, I am Yacouba Sylla, ze footballing man.

Weimann: He`s not Sylla he looks nothing like the picture on Wikipedia.

Faulkner: Wikipedia!? Everyone is knowing 'alf of ze things on zat are made up.

Gabby: He does have a point….

Clark: Gabby it`s Faulkner. Give it up Paul!

Faulkner: Oh alright. I would have gotten away with too if it wasn`t for you meddling kids….. And your stupid dog!

*The lads look around their feet confused.*

Faulkner: Perhaps if you were as perceptive during corners I wouldn`t have to pretend to be a bloody signing!

*Faulkner storms out*

Lambert: Well, that was unexpected. At least we still have Simon Dawkins, who I expect to make a decent impact.

Dawkins: Why thank you there sir. I certainly will try my gosh darnest.

Delph: Boss…. Isn`t that just Randy Lerner in really offensive blackface make up?

Lambert: What? Fabian don`t be so silly I think I would recognise my 50 year old white boss masquerading as a 25 year old black athlete?......Jesus….. It`s you, isn`t it Mr.Lerner?

Dawkins: Yes sir.

*"Dawkins" bows his head and shuffles out of the room.*

Gabby: Oh well boss no worries eh? You said before we signed anybody we were good enough to stay up so….

*Lambert glares at Gabby*

Gabby: What?









Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday February 8 2013

Time: 9:31PM

Your Comments

Lol.... check Dawkins for any tattoos arond his ankles.... Classic Hercs.
Pride of Lions
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Articles

Vital Villa Man Of Match v Southampton (Wednesday April 23 2014)

Sylla - Not As Dramatic As He Sounds (Wednesday April 23 2014)

Robinson Looking For More (Monday April 21 2014)

Dear Randy...A Fans Retort (Sunday April 20 2014)

Club Statement From Randy Lerner (Sunday April 20 2014)

Vlaar - We Still Need A Win (Saturday April 19 2014)

Lambert Hails Huge Southampton Point (Saturday April 19 2014)

U21 Manchester City Clash Set (Saturday April 19 2014)

Archived Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 1085
2. The Fear 1001
3. ClivetheVillan 562
4. Villan57 293
5. Villan Of The North 269
6. Barney2004 260
7. sirdennis 226
8. BlackCountry Villa 225
9. kefkat 218
10. tarzan 201

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
12. West Ham 35 10 7 18 -10 37
13. Swansea 35 9 9 17 -4 36
14. Hull City 34 10 6 18 -9 36
15. Aston Villa 34 9 8 17 -14 35
16. WBA 34 6 15 13 -13 33
17. Norwich 35 8 8 19 -28 32
18. Cardiff 35 7 9 19 -34 30

Breaking League News

Yobo Targets Chelsea Return
» Norwich : 24/04/2014 07:57:00
Januzaj Plumps for Belgium
» Man Utd : 24/04/2014 07:42:00
Who's afraid of an Anglo Calciopoli?
» Chelsea : 24/04/2014 07:32:00
They Can`t Do a Thing About It!
» Chelsea : 24/04/2014 07:31:00
Bundesliga Bound?
» Chelsea : 24/04/2014 07:30:00
Will Swansea City Take Risk And Appoint Monk?
» Swansea : 23/04/2014 21:48:00
Have Your Say In The Vital Swansea Message Forum
» Swansea : 23/04/2014 21:35:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v Swansea (away) will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win - safety at last 24%
Lose - we go again 50%
Draw 26%