Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc In the Dressing Room Before West Ham

@VillasHerc In the Dressing Room Before West Ham

*We join the lads gearing up for their crunch tie against West Ham. Lambert enters to find the players eying the new signings speculatively.*

Clark: Um….. Boss…. How much do you know about these new players?

Lambert: Know about them? How`d you mean?

Gabby: Like this guy…

Lambert: Yes, Yacouba Sylla….

Clark: Is he Yacouba Sylla though? I mean he looks an awful lot like a guy wearing a cardboard cut-out mask of Demba Ba.

Sylla: What!? Zis is 'ow you say? Ridiculous!

Clark: Well your hands are white for a start….You`re not Barton are you!?

*The lads all gasp, Gabby leaps forward, tearing the mask from "Sylla`s" face*

All the lads: Paul Faulkner!?

Faulkner: What I am not zis Faulkner you speak of, I am Yacouba Sylla, ze footballing man.

Weimann: He`s not Sylla he looks nothing like the picture on Wikipedia.

Faulkner: Wikipedia!? Everyone is knowing 'alf of ze things on zat are made up.

Gabby: He does have a point….

Clark: Gabby it`s Faulkner. Give it up Paul!

Faulkner: Oh alright. I would have gotten away with too if it wasn`t for you meddling kids….. And your stupid dog!

*The lads look around their feet confused.*

Faulkner: Perhaps if you were as perceptive during corners I wouldn`t have to pretend to be a bloody signing!

*Faulkner storms out*

Lambert: Well, that was unexpected. At least we still have Simon Dawkins, who I expect to make a decent impact.

Dawkins: Why thank you there sir. I certainly will try my gosh darnest.

Delph: Boss…. Isn`t that just Randy Lerner in really offensive blackface make up?

Lambert: What? Fabian don`t be so silly I think I would recognise my 50 year old white boss masquerading as a 25 year old black athlete?......Jesus….. It`s you, isn`t it Mr.Lerner?

Dawkins: Yes sir.

*"Dawkins" bows his head and shuffles out of the room.*

Gabby: Oh well boss no worries eh? You said before we signed anybody we were good enough to stay up so….

*Lambert glares at Gabby*

Gabby: What?








Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday February 8 2013
Time: 9:31PM

Comments

0
Lol.... check Dawkins for any tattoos arond his ankles.... Classic Hercs.
Pride of Lions
09/02/2013 00:43:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Garde Talks Up The Defence

Manager Remi Garde has done his normal midweek piece and in this edition he talks about the 'massive solidarity' amongst our back four.

Premier League Rebrands Ready For Villa Departure

The Premier League have today confirmed that they are rebranding from the 2016-17 season and inevitably the Lion goes.

Fox Will Be Gutted - Shirt Revenues To Drop

Chief Executive in the world of fancy titles Tom Fox will have been gutted to inform long standing members of staff they faced redundancy following his CEOship...

King Outlines His Villa Hopes

Having been appointed to the bridge of his beloved Titanic and joining other people without a background of running anything football related other than possibly the odd...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Profile
Mike Field
Profile
Steve Wade
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
Profile
Turkish Penguin
Profile
Glensider
Profile
Chris Heath
Profile
M Calucar
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Norwich MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Bunn4%
Richards0%
Okore12%
Lescott9%
Cissokho0%
Bacuna0%
Gana33%
Westwood1%
Gil8%
Agbonlahor26%
Veretout7%
Sub - Clark0%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 25 15 8 2 53 20
2 Spurs 25 13 9 3 48 26
3 Arsenal 25 14 6 5 48 17
4 Man City 25 14 5 6 47 21
5 Man Utd 25 11 8 6 41 10
6 West Ham 25 10 9 6 39 9
7 Southampton 25 10 7 8 37 9
8 Everton 25 8 11 6 35 12
9 Liverpool 25 9 8 8 35 -4
10 Watford 25 9 6 10 33 0
11 Stoke 25 9 6 10 33 -7
12 Crystal Palace 25 9 5 11 32 -4
13 Chelsea 25 7 9 9 30 -2
14 WBA 25 7 8 10 29 -9
15 AFC Bournemouth 25 7 7 11 28 -12
16 Swansea 25 6 9 10 27 -9
17 Newcastle 25 6 6 13 24 -18
18 Norwich 25 6 5 14 23 -20
19 Sunderland 25 5 5 15 20 -19
20 Aston Villa 25 3 7 15 16 -20
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Who will be Channel 4's lead presenter?
Latest Vital Boxing News
AUDIO: Hearn: Joshua's next fight will be big
Vital Football Comment

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 14 2016 2:05PM : Liverpool (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 27 2016 3:00PM : Stoke City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 1 2016 7:45PM : Everton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : Manchester City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 12 2016 3:00PM : Tottenham Hotspur (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 19 2016 5:30PM : Swansea City (a)
Barclays Premier League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions451
2.The Fear265
3.ClivetheVillan239
4.Fulford237
5.JuanPabloAngel168
6.sirdennis161
7.revdpete151
8.DeanoVilla119
9.Wurzel113
10.He'sBiggerThanMe&You88
Write for Vital Football