@VillasHerc In the Dressing Room Before West Ham
*We join the lads gearing up for their crunch tie against West Ham. Lambert enters to find the players eying the new signings speculatively.*
Clark: Um….. Boss…. How much do you know about these new players?
Lambert: Know about them? How`d you mean?
Gabby: Like this guy…
Lambert: Yes, Yacouba Sylla….
Clark: Is he Yacouba Sylla though? I mean he looks an awful lot like a guy wearing a cardboard cut-out mask of Demba Ba.
Sylla: What!? Zis is 'ow you say? Ridiculous!
Clark: Well your hands are white for a start….You`re not Barton are you!?
*The lads all gasp, Gabby leaps forward, tearing the mask from "Sylla`s" face*
All the lads: Paul Faulkner!?
Faulkner: What I am not zis Faulkner you speak of, I am Yacouba Sylla, ze footballing man.
Weimann: He`s not Sylla he looks nothing like the picture on Wikipedia.
Faulkner: Wikipedia!? Everyone is knowing 'alf of ze things on zat are made up.
Gabby: He does have a point….
Clark: Gabby it`s Faulkner. Give it up Paul!
Faulkner: Oh alright. I would have gotten away with too if it wasn`t for you meddling kids….. And your stupid dog!
*The lads look around their feet confused.*
Faulkner: Perhaps if you were as perceptive during corners I wouldn`t have to pretend to be a bloody signing!
*Faulkner storms out*
Lambert: Well, that was unexpected. At least we still have Simon Dawkins, who I expect to make a decent impact.
Dawkins: Why thank you there sir. I certainly will try my gosh darnest.
Delph: Boss…. Isn`t that just Randy Lerner in really offensive blackface make up?
Lambert: What? Fabian don`t be so silly I think I would recognise my 50 year old white boss masquerading as a 25 year old black athlete?......Jesus….. It`s you, isn`t it Mr.Lerner?
Dawkins: Yes sir.
*"Dawkins" bows his head and shuffles out of the room.*
Gabby: Oh well boss no worries eh? You said before we signed anybody we were good enough to stay up so….
*Lambert glares at Gabby*
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