Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc In the Dressing Room Before West Ham

@VillasHerc In the Dressing Room Before West Ham

*We join the lads gearing up for their crunch tie against West Ham. Lambert enters to find the players eying the new signings speculatively.*

Clark: Um….. Boss…. How much do you know about these new players?

Lambert: Know about them? How`d you mean?

Gabby: Like this guy…

Lambert: Yes, Yacouba Sylla….

Clark: Is he Yacouba Sylla though? I mean he looks an awful lot like a guy wearing a cardboard cut-out mask of Demba Ba.

Sylla: What!? Zis is 'ow you say? Ridiculous!

Clark: Well your hands are white for a start….You`re not Barton are you!?

*The lads all gasp, Gabby leaps forward, tearing the mask from "Sylla`s" face*

All the lads: Paul Faulkner!?

Faulkner: What I am not zis Faulkner you speak of, I am Yacouba Sylla, ze footballing man.

Weimann: He`s not Sylla he looks nothing like the picture on Wikipedia.

Faulkner: Wikipedia!? Everyone is knowing 'alf of ze things on zat are made up.

Gabby: He does have a point….

Clark: Gabby it`s Faulkner. Give it up Paul!

Faulkner: Oh alright. I would have gotten away with too if it wasn`t for you meddling kids….. And your stupid dog!

*The lads look around their feet confused.*

Faulkner: Perhaps if you were as perceptive during corners I wouldn`t have to pretend to be a bloody signing!

*Faulkner storms out*

Lambert: Well, that was unexpected. At least we still have Simon Dawkins, who I expect to make a decent impact.

Dawkins: Why thank you there sir. I certainly will try my gosh darnest.

Delph: Boss…. Isn`t that just Randy Lerner in really offensive blackface make up?

Lambert: What? Fabian don`t be so silly I think I would recognise my 50 year old white boss masquerading as a 25 year old black athlete?......Jesus….. It`s you, isn`t it Mr.Lerner?

Dawkins: Yes sir.

*"Dawkins" bows his head and shuffles out of the room.*

Gabby: Oh well boss no worries eh? You said before we signed anybody we were good enough to stay up so….

*Lambert glares at Gabby*

Gabby: What?








Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday February 8 2013
Time: 9:31PM

Comments

0
Lol.... check Dawkins for any tattoos arond his ankles.... Classic Hercs.
Pride of Lions
09/02/2013 00:43:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Bruce Doubters Continue - No Strikers With 2 On The Bench?

The doubts are still there after another poor performance by Villa on Saturday v Derby County.

What Now for Aston Villa's Jack Grealish?

Gordonsleftboot asks 'what now for Grealish?'..if he keeps up the form and class he showed yesterday, we will have one of the best players outside of the Premier League.

Instant Reactions - Derby County v Aston Villa (16/12/17)

Following today's clash between Derby County and Aston Villa, here are the instant reactions from both managers.

Stats: Derby County v Aston Villa

All the stats from Derby County (2) vs (0) Aston Villa, iPro Stadium, 16/12/17 Att: 28,118

Aston Villa Archived Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Derby MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Johnstone35%
Elmohamady1%
Chester4%
Jedinak0%
Taylor1%
Snodgrass0%
Whelan4%
Hourihane1%
Adomah0%
Grealish48%
Onomah0%
Sub - Hogan1%
Sub - Agbonlahor5%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Hamilton and Vettel clash
Latest Vital Boxing News
Saunders Retains WBO Middleweight Title
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions233
2.JuanPabloAngel229
3.The Fear227
4.BodyButter187
5.HeathfieldRoad1874176
6.sirdennis153
7.Melon Donkey101
8.mike_field99
9.Silhillvilla91
10.McParlandTheGreat90
The Vital Football Members League