UK time is: 14:11:38
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

@VillasHerc In the Dressing Room Before West Ham

*We join the lads gearing up for their crunch tie against West Ham. Lambert enters to find the players eying the new signings speculatively.*

Clark: Um….. Boss…. How much do you know about these new players?

Lambert: Know about them? How`d you mean?

Gabby: Like this guy…

Lambert: Yes, Yacouba Sylla….

Clark: Is he Yacouba Sylla though? I mean he looks an awful lot like a guy wearing a cardboard cut-out mask of Demba Ba.

Sylla: What!? Zis is 'ow you say? Ridiculous!

Clark: Well your hands are white for a start….You`re not Barton are you!?

*The lads all gasp, Gabby leaps forward, tearing the mask from "Sylla`s" face*

All the lads: Paul Faulkner!?

Faulkner: What I am not zis Faulkner you speak of, I am Yacouba Sylla, ze footballing man.

Weimann: He`s not Sylla he looks nothing like the picture on Wikipedia.

Faulkner: Wikipedia!? Everyone is knowing 'alf of ze things on zat are made up.

Gabby: He does have a point….

Clark: Gabby it`s Faulkner. Give it up Paul!

Faulkner: Oh alright. I would have gotten away with too if it wasn`t for you meddling kids….. And your stupid dog!

*The lads look around their feet confused.*

Faulkner: Perhaps if you were as perceptive during corners I wouldn`t have to pretend to be a bloody signing!

*Faulkner storms out*

Lambert: Well, that was unexpected. At least we still have Simon Dawkins, who I expect to make a decent impact.

Dawkins: Why thank you there sir. I certainly will try my gosh darnest.

Delph: Boss…. Isn`t that just Randy Lerner in really offensive blackface make up?

Lambert: What? Fabian don`t be so silly I think I would recognise my 50 year old white boss masquerading as a 25 year old black athlete?......Jesus….. It`s you, isn`t it Mr.Lerner?

Dawkins: Yes sir.

*"Dawkins" bows his head and shuffles out of the room.*

Gabby: Oh well boss no worries eh? You said before we signed anybody we were good enough to stay up so….

*Lambert glares at Gabby*

Gabby: What?









Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday February 8 2013

Time: 9:31PM

Your Comments

Lol.... check Dawkins for any tattoos arond his ankles.... Classic Hercs.
Pride of Lions
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Lambert - We Were Excellent (Thursday July 24 2014)

FC Dallas 0-2 Aston Villa (Thursday July 24 2014)

Gardner To Make 2014-15 His Year (Wednesday July 23 2014)

Roncrete's Sett(led) At Villa (Wednesday July 23 2014)

Vlaar Bar (Wednesday July 23 2014)

Taxi for Tonev (Tuesday July 22 2014)

Full Squad For Texan Tour (Monday July 21 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. The Fear 830
2. ClivetheVillan 566
3. Pride of Lions 427
4. kefkat 318
5. sirdennis 208
6. HeathfieldRoad1874 195
7. Green Tea 188
8. Clubpaver 176
9. Juan Mourep 175
10. Villan Of The North 161

League Results (view all)

Latest Results

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Arsenal 0 0 0 0 +0 0
2. Aston Villa 0 0 0 0 +0 0
3. Burnley 0 0 0 0 +0 0
4. Chelsea 0 0 0 0 +0 0
5. Crystal Palace 0 0 0 0 +0 0
6. Everton 0 0 0 0 +0 0
7. Hull City 0 0 0 0 +0 0

Breaking League News

United Have a Rival for Vermaelen`s Signature!
» Man Utd : 26/07/2014 12:51:00
A Critical Decision needs to be Made!
» Chelsea : 26/07/2014 12:41:00
Is the Pressure Already Building on Sam?
» West Ham : 26/07/2014 12:25:00
Hammers Beaten Again (By Sydney FC)
» West Ham : 26/07/2014 12:18:00
Dutchman Linked to United Again!
» Man Utd : 26/07/2014 12:08:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Darren Bent?
Suggested By:  JP Fear
Still needs to be sold 10%
Should be a starter 31%
Good for squad/off bench 58%
No idea! 1%