Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room before Man Utd

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room before Man Utd

*We Join the lads gearing up for their match against Man Utd, Benteke has approached Guzan and Given interrupting their tactical conversation.*

Benteke: Hello kids, one of you give me your gloves.

Guzan: They're goalkeeper gloves buddy.

Given: Aye, if ya need some to keep you warm dere....

Benteke: I know what they are dwarves...

*Given and Guzan look at each other then back up at the towering Benteke*

Benteke: Well?.... Give me the gloves. The boss says I can be whatever I want to be and today, I am going to be the goalkeeper.

Given: What!?

Guzan: Hey boss, Christian says he...

Lambert: Give him the gloves! You heard the lad, he can be whatever he wants to be!

Guzan: What!?

*Guzan sulking hands over his gloves Benteke snatches them and barely fits a glove on each thumb*

Benteke: Well I suppose this will have to do...

Bent: Say boss, now Christian is in goal, there's no reason I can't start, right?
I mean my ankle's fine now and....

Lambert: Christian, return the gloves.

Bent: Aww man!

*Benteke grudgingly hands back the gloves to a happy Guzan*

Benteke: Well my other idea is that I become a conductor and have my symphony orchestra play at half-time, I was thinking I would start with 'Smells like Teen Spirit' and end with 'Gangnam Style'.

Lambert: Aye, grand, whatever you want to be.

Bent: I can play classical flute.

Lambert: No orchestra.

Bent: Aww man!

Benteke: You ruin everything Darren! EVERYTHING!!

*Benteke flees the room, his hands masking his tears. The lads all look at Bent disapprovingly*

Bent: So.... Um I can start now?

Lambert: Andy?

Marshall: ..Yes boss.

Lambert: Ever played up top.

Marshall: Um... No boss... Not really.

*Bent grins*

Lambert: Take off your gloves son, lets see what you can do!

Marshall: Wooo hoo!

Bent: WHAT!?



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday November 9 2012
Time: 10:15AM

Comments

0
Benteke the Bully! Love it Hercs!
sherlockgt
09/11/2012 10:31:00
0
LOL... these are great, always make me chuckle. Thanks Hercs.
The Fear
09/11/2012 10:46:00
0
Aww Man, that was awesome....Lol
Pride of Lions
09/11/2012 11:21:00
0
hehe it seems like that with his refusal to play bent!! ;)
thorpyuk
09/11/2012 13:46:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Elphick's Superstitions To Continue

New centre half Tommy Elphick has insisted his pre match ritual of attacking the goal posts instead of having a team photo will continue following his move to Aston Villa.

No Sinclair To Celtic - But Crespo Off

It's being reported that Aston Villa have rejected a £2million offer from Celtic for Scott Sinclair, but Jose Angel Crespo wants the 'PAOK' option to bring an end to his time with us.

Petrov To Resume Villa Training

Aston Villa have confirmed that Stiliyan Petrov will join up with the boys for pre season training, and he's been invited by new manager Roberto Di Matteo to join...

Elphick Relishing Promotion Pressure

New signing, and Roberto Di Matteo's first capture from Bournemouth, Tommy Elphick has said he's relishing the pressure of helping Aston Villa return...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Elphick?
Suggested By: JP Fear
Great, solid signing81%
Ok signing5%
Meh signing14%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Burnley 46 26 15 5 93 37
P Middlesbrough 46 26 11 9 89 32
3 Brighton 46 24 17 5 89 30
4 Hull City 46 24 11 11 83 34
5 Derby County 46 21 15 10 78 23
6 Sheff Wed 46 19 17 10 74 21
7 Ipswich 46 18 15 13 69 2
8 Cardiff 46 17 17 12 68 5
9 Brentford 46 19 8 19 65 5
10 Birmingham 46 16 15 15 63 4
11 Preston 46 15 17 14 62 0
12 Q.P.R. 46 14 18 14 60 0
13 Leeds Utd 46 14 17 15 59 -8
14 Wolves 46 14 16 16 58 -5
15 Blackburn 46 13 16 17 55 0
16 Forest 46 13 16 17 55 -4
17 Reading 46 13 13 20 52 -7
18 Bristol City 46 13 13 20 52 -17
19 Huddersfield 46 13 12 21 51 -11
20 Fulham 46 12 15 19 51 -13
21 Rotherham 46 13 10 23 49 -18
R Charlton 46 9 13 24 40 -40
R MK Dons 46 9 12 25 39 -30
R Bolton 46 5 15 26 30 -40
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Sainz expected to stay with Red Bull stable
Latest Vital Boxing News
Liam Smith Next up for Saul ‘Canelo’ Alvarez
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear365
2.BodyButter153
3.sirdennis152
4.Fulford135
5.JuanPabloAngel112
6.kefkat101
7.DeanoVilla89
8.glensider84
9.Melon Donkey72
10.Silhillvilla70
The Vital Football Members League