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@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room Before Spurs

*We join the lads gearing up for their match against Spurs, as they await Lambert's arrival Delph is on the phone*

Delph:...I will look for you, I will find you and I WILL kill you....

Lambert: Fabian!

Delph: (quickly hanging up) Oh... Boss... I didn't hear you come in...

Lambert: Have you hidden a phone on loudspeaker in the opposition's dressing room again Fabian?

Delph: (guiltily) .....No......

*Yelling can be heard down the hall*

Bale: Man screw this! Real Madrid want me, I'm not dying tonight, not for you suckers .... Viva Mexico!

*The sound of a Gareth Bale sized body hurling itself out through a window can be heard as we return to Lambert who is looking at Delph with an eyebrow raised*

Delph: What? Anyone could have threatened him..... Anyone.

Bent: Look boss I want to talk about my future.

Lambert: You're going to get caught offside.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Bent: What!? You know what I meant, my future here!

Lambert: Well Darren I don't have a crystal ball.

Ireland: Are ya going to buy one with yer 2 million compo dere bass?

Lambert: Stephen, everyone, those rumours are unfounded and ridiculous.

*Lambert's phone rings he answers*

Lambert: Hello.... Yes......What do you mean the Lamborghini and Ferrari are available for pick up!? I told you to wait until..... *Lambert looks sheepishly around at the players*....Um.... I mean ...I'll speak to you later ... um... mum..... Love you.

*The lads all eye Lambert speculatively*

Lambert: ......What?




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday October 5 2012

Time: 10:05PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

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Brilliant!
Stephen Jay Hawkings
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05/10/2012 22:49:00

"You're going to get caught offside".... Love it....
Pride of Lions
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06/10/2012 01:30:00

Quality Hercs. These are much appreciated!!
Villan444
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06/10/2012 11:08:00

I tried to get my missus to see the funny side of the caught offside gag ( i thought it was brilliant) she looked at me blankly, women huh!! Thanks Hercs
Charizma
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06/10/2012 18:32:00

Love it Herc, please do one every week!
sherlockgt
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08/10/2012 18:35:00

lol Hercs the caught offside was good but Bales viva Mexico was brilliant .
Merlin128777
Report Abuse
09/10/2012 10:54:00

 

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