Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room Post Swansea

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room Post Swansea

*We join the lads celebrating their 2-0 victory over Swansea*

Lambert: Well done lads especially the one's I bought in, I'm half glad I had no takers for the rest of you.

*The 'old guard' look at each other nervously*

Lambert: You know when I joined and I realised Heskey had gone I sobbed in my room for a week, 'where will I find a high profile striker who can't score in the PL?' I thought. Thanks Darren.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Bent: What? I score when I want! I could score right now!

Lambert: Really? Right now? Now the match is over.

Bent: Well...

Benteke: You want more goals boss?

*Benteke boots an errant football out through the door and out of sight, seconds later there is cheering from the crowd.*

Bent: Yeah ... Well ....

*Bent approaches another spare ball, a linesman promptly appears through the door a flag raised firmly in one hand and pointing at Bent with the other*

Bent: What!?.... Ah forget it!

*An alarm goes off, a robotic voice repeating 'MeRcY, mErCy, mErCy..'*

Lambert: For the love God Brett. Get off that treadmill I'm not having you break another one this week.

Holman: Soz boss.

Lambert: Special thanks to Ron for leading this victory, none of us will soon forget that captain's speech.

****Mind's are cast back to Vlaar's pre match diatribe'****

Vlaar: Vlaaaaaaaar!

*Tears stream down the eyes of all the Villa players*

N'Zogbia: 'is words, zey are like a beautiful woman with an assault rifle

Bannan: *sniff* If I die on the pitch tonight, tell my mother I love her and that it was worth it.

*Lowton maniacally runs yelling out of the dressing room and toward the tunnel the echoes of Swansea's screams of fear bounce back through the door.

******

*Back in the present the Villa fans breath a collective sigh of bliss*

Bent: Seriously though, when I want, I just don't REALLY want to at the minute



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday September 17 2012
Time: 2:52PM

Comments

0
lol hercs brilliant
Merlin128777
17/09/2012 15:02:00
0
I've been waiting for this! great stuff thanks Herc.
sherlockgt
17/09/2012 15:08:00
0
celebrating a win... how times change!!!!!!!!!
The Fear
17/09/2012 15:37:00
0
THIS IS VLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Gruck
17/09/2012 16:10:00
0
Vlaaaaaaaar! :o) Brilliant, Hercs, and so much better now that we can laugh with our team rather than at them!
BobTheBuilder
17/09/2012 16:19:00
0
: ) Awesome Hercs.
Steff_the_Villan
17/09/2012 16:28:00
0
Love the treadmill Hercs....Mercy....Lol
Pride of Lions
17/09/2012 18:12:00
0
Like the Ill NiƱo song Gruck? Thanks all it is difficult to write when the subject is so alien - winning at home !!!!
Hercs
17/09/2012 20:55:00
0
Haha love the linesman bit
qldvillan
19/09/2012 12:02:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

The Decline Of Aston Villa...

A decent two page spread in The Sun today with a few quotes from me. Here was my full answer to their question...

Match Day Officials v Liverpool

The Premier League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game against Liverpool this weekend.

The Aston Villa Walking Wounded - Injury Table

Our weekly update looking at the injury table for Aston Villa and also comparing with all our competitors in the Premier League.

Bunn - The Fans Spurred Us On

Goalkeeper and now No 1 Mark Bunn has said he feels the turning point in Villa's season was seeing the fans frustration up front and close in the FA Cup game against...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Profile
Mike Field
Profile
Steve Wade
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
Profile
Turkish Penguin
Profile
Glensider
Profile
Chris Heath
Profile
M Calucar
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Norwich MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Bunn5%
Richards1%
Okore11%
Lescott8%
Cissokho0%
Bacuna0%
Gana32%
Westwood1%
Gil7%
Agbonlahor26%
Veretout8%
Sub - Clark1%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 25 15 8 2 53 20
2 Spurs 25 13 9 3 48 26
3 Arsenal 25 14 6 5 48 17
4 Man City 25 14 5 6 47 21
5 Man Utd 25 11 8 6 41 10
6 West Ham 25 10 9 6 39 9
7 Southampton 25 10 7 8 37 9
8 Everton 25 8 11 6 35 12
9 Liverpool 25 9 8 8 35 -4
10 Watford 25 9 6 10 33 0
11 Stoke 25 9 6 10 33 -7
12 Crystal Palace 25 9 5 11 32 -4
13 Chelsea 25 7 9 9 30 -2
14 WBA 25 7 8 10 29 -9
15 AFC Bournemouth 25 7 7 11 28 -12
16 Swansea 25 6 9 10 27 -9
17 Newcastle 25 6 6 13 24 -18
18 Norwich 25 6 5 14 23 -20
19 Sunderland 25 5 5 15 20 -19
20 Aston Villa 25 3 7 15 16 -20
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
F1 set for spending frenzy according to Newey
Latest Vital Boxing News
Mitchell Announces Retirement
Vital Football Comment

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 14 2016 2:05PM : Liverpool (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 27 2016 3:00PM : Stoke City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 1 2016 7:45PM : Everton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : Manchester City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 12 2016 3:00PM : Tottenham Hotspur (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 19 2016 5:30PM : Swansea City (a)
Barclays Premier League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions525
2.The Fear303
3.ClivetheVillan268
4.Fulford251
5.sirdennis178
6.JuanPabloAngel177
7.revdpete166
8.DeanoVilla149
9.Wurzel113
10.He'sBiggerThanMe&You91
Write for Vital Football