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The Real Non Specific ITK Manager Rubbish!!!

The Real Non Specific ITK Manager Rubbish!!!

I have it on good authority Villa WILL have a new manager any time between now and the next month or so.

A press conference is due to be called at some non specific time and will announce a yet to be specified manager.

I can confirm the manager will indeed be a male between the age of 35 and 100 which should narrow it down for you a bit.

The unspecified manager will or may not have had experience in the Premier League. The manager will definitely, or not, have been a manager, player, coach, or physio before and will if my info is correct 100% be of an unspecified race and religion.

The press conference to announce his arrival will be held at a non specified time, it will be either am or pm or indeed noon and we believe we can exclusively reveal that there is no chance of it being midnight.

We know for a fact that the new manager is from England, has been to England or hasn't in fact ever been English or been to England. He is thought at least to be European unless of course he comes from elsewhere in the World.

We can`t as yet confirm whether the new manager is a tie wearer and if he is whether he will indeed wear a Villa tie or other non football related afore mentioned neck decoration. We think we are safe to reveal that he won't be wearing a novelty tie and isn't thought to be a bow tie wearer unless he is, in fact, a bow tie wearer.

It is expected he will wear a suit, colour to be announced later.

It is thought unlikely said new manager will be smoking a pipe or eating a balti pie at the press conference, although we can't rule out Mat Kendrick doing either. It is thought Pete Colley will be wearing a Lyle & Scott jumper of non specified colour. Our information beleives that Adam Aspinall will ask said new manager whether he has ever played football manager on the xbox and will lose interest if the answer is in the negative or indeed, the positive.

The press conference will have national, local and intergalatic coverage. Unless Liverpool have a new manager on the same day or Wayne Rooney passes wind of course.

You've heard it hear first folks

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Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Monday May 21 2012
Time: 7:22PM

Comments

0
every bit of this article is 100% fact apart from the parts that aren't.
The Fear
21/05/2012 19:29:00
0
I did throw my hat in the ring. Buggers threw it straight back at me AND I think they had stamped on it!!!!
The Fear
21/05/2012 19:36:00
0
How do you know all that and where did you get your info from?
imavillan
21/05/2012 19:47:00
0
;-)
imavillan
21/05/2012 19:47:00
0
C'mon Fear. Spill the beans. Where did you get all this inside info? I'm straight off to the bookies to put a few quid on. Certainty, innit?
chocolate teapot
21/05/2012 19:51:00
0
I couldn't possibly comment, my HP (sauces) are very top secret.
The Fear
21/05/2012 19:55:00
0
my girlfriend just asked if this came from the official site..
qldvillan
21/05/2012 20:03:00
0
as good as qld... I've always told you folks I'm an itk, well, to be fair, you've all always told me I'm a know it all and I think that is the same thing isn't it?!?! lol
The Fear
21/05/2012 20:05:00
0
I enjoyed reading that, or I didn't...
MASON_PARKER
21/05/2012 20:22:00
0
have you been sneakin on Aston Villa news and views?? cos this smacks of one of their stories
Kuffit
21/05/2012 20:23:00
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