Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Capello Snubs Villa (SPOOF)

Capello Snubs Villa (SPOOF)

SSN sources understand that after highly confidential and protracted discussions with Aston Villa's billionaire owner Randy Lerner regarding the vacant managerial position, Fabio Capello has declined to proceed further. Speculation had been fuelled by the reported sighting of Lerner's private plane landing in a remote airport in Greenland.....erm sorry Greendale.

Saucers close to Capello's assistant and close confidante have stated that a number of concerns had led to Capello terminating his interest. His assistant has reportedly said that the transfer budget available was deemed insufficient to rebuild an ailing squad being quoted as saying 'the kitty on offer just wasn't big enough.' Capello had also reportedly encountered problems securing his release from his current contract.

Apparently investors in his current employer's corporation had threatened to withdraw their longstanding investment if he breached his contract. The BBC were concerned this would lead to them losing some of their remaining sporting rights, such as Happy Hippo and Twister Grand Finals, to Sky. A source close to the club also revealed that they also had a number of reservations about Capello's plans, most notably regarding his trusted managerial team. In particular there had been a misunderstanding about the role of his assistant known as 'The Cat'. Apparently the club were labouring under the misconception that he had been given this nickname due to his reputation as a high class goalkeeping coach. concerns were raised when it was revealed that he had received this nickname due to his propensity to stay out all night and sleep all day.

Due to the recent late night shenanigans of players it was felt that this would be an ill advised appointment. The source close to the club was later revealed to be Gergioiu Kebabeatari of the nearby Aston Fish Stories Bar. Stories were escalating about player unrest at the potential appointment. In particular star striker Darren Bent was said to be disgruntled at losing his mantle as 'The Mail Man'. The award winning groundsman was also said to be concerned about the possibility of Capello's assitant burying hos own excrement under the pristine Villa Park pitch. Even the club's mascot and highly renowned journalist on Vital Villa, Hercs, was said to be disgruntled, reportedly fuming 'There's only room for o one Big Cat round here'.

The final straw was said to be mounting opposition to the possible appointment on internet fan forums. A campaign, led by site Vital Villa stated that after the previous incumbent, a Ginger Tom known as Eck, this appointment would unacceptable to fans. The campaign is being driven under the slogan 'IT'S NOT WHERE YOU COME FROM IT'S WHAT YOU WILL DELIVER'. Another Scoop.....a poop from SSN.

Rowley Villa



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Rowley Villa
Date:Monday May 21 2012
Time: 10:26AM

Comments

0
not happy with the press then Rowley!? lol Decided to front page in the end!
The Fear
21/05/2012 10:28:00
0
You've got to smile.............
Pride of Lions
21/05/2012 10:53:00
0
Just to officially confirm, I have no wish to be considered for the Villa position...
oxfordspur
21/05/2012 11:55:00
0
Yes cheers The Fear. It was definitely a take on lazy media reporting, particlularly SSN which makes out it is the fountain of all knowledge. It was certainly not meant to cause hysteria. Finally apologies for some of the typos, that I found after submitting. My only, rather inadequate excuse, was that my 4 year old daughter decided she wanted attention. Mind you she did ask me who the pictures of the men on the wall of the studywere. Never one to miss an opportunity to educate in the ways of claret and blue I duly informed her that they were Brian Little and Paul McGrath (God).
Rowley Villa
21/05/2012 12:28:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Best of Vital Network

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Villa's International Injury Update

Another tired and boring international break in the world of football, so here's an update from Bodymoor Heath on our walking wounded.

The Villa Times - 24/03/2017 (Aston Villa News Round-up)

The latest Aston Villa news and views via the uno fish ial one...

Videos. Inside The Aston Villa Dressing Room

Hate international breaks, so hey, thought some of you might have missed these. Quite good fun some of them.

Villa Replicate Reading Offer

With Reading charging our fans (season ticket holders or members) only £20 for our trip to the Madejski Stadium earlier in the season, Villa have reciprocated the deal...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

I have nothing to ask! I hate international breaks!
Suggested By: ;o)
Agree87%
Disagree7%
Whatever 6%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 38 24 6 8 78 38
2 Brighton 38 23 8 7 77 30
3 Huddersfield 37 22 5 10 71 4
4 Leeds Utd 38 21 6 11 69 16
5 Reading 38 20 7 11 67 2
6 Sheff Wed 38 18 8 12 62 9
7 Fulham 38 16 13 9 61 19
8 Norwich 38 16 9 13 57 9
9 Preston 38 15 12 11 57 6
10 Derby County 38 14 11 13 53 3
11 Barnsley 38 14 9 15 51 0
12 Aston Villa 38 13 12 13 51 0
13 Cardiff 38 14 9 15 51 -1
14 Brentford 38 14 8 16 50 3
15 Q.P.R. 38 14 8 16 50 -5
16 Wolves 37 12 9 16 45 -2
17 Ipswich 38 10 15 13 45 -9
18 Birmingham 38 11 12 15 45 -16
19 Bristol City 38 11 8 19 41 -3
20 Forest 38 11 8 19 41 -11
21 Burton 38 10 11 17 41 -14
22 Blackburn 38 9 13 16 40 -11
23 Wigan 38 8 10 20 34 -13
24 Rotherham 38 4 5 29 17 -54
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
2017 Australia GP - FP1
Latest Vital Boxing News
Taylor v Joubert – Meadowbank, Scotland
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Apr 1 2017 3:00PM : Norwich City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 4 2017 7:45PM : Queens Park Rangers (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 8 2017 3:00PM : Burton Albion (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 15 2017 3:00PM : Reading (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 17 2017 2:45PM : Fulham (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 23 2017 12:00PM : Birmingham City (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear362
2.Pride of Lions288
3.sirdennis284
4.JuanPabloAngel242
5.HeathfieldRoad1874235
6.Sasquatch167
7.Silhillvilla165
8.Melon Donkey152
9.BodyButter135
10.DeanoVilla128
Vital Football Comment