Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Capello Snubs Villa (SPOOF)

Capello Snubs Villa (SPOOF)

SSN sources understand that after highly confidential and protracted discussions with Aston Villa's billionaire owner Randy Lerner regarding the vacant managerial position, Fabio Capello has declined to proceed further. Speculation had been fuelled by the reported sighting of Lerner's private plane landing in a remote airport in Greenland.....erm sorry Greendale.

Saucers close to Capello's assistant and close confidante have stated that a number of concerns had led to Capello terminating his interest. His assistant has reportedly said that the transfer budget available was deemed insufficient to rebuild an ailing squad being quoted as saying 'the kitty on offer just wasn't big enough.' Capello had also reportedly encountered problems securing his release from his current contract.

Apparently investors in his current employer's corporation had threatened to withdraw their longstanding investment if he breached his contract. The BBC were concerned this would lead to them losing some of their remaining sporting rights, such as Happy Hippo and Twister Grand Finals, to Sky. A source close to the club also revealed that they also had a number of reservations about Capello's plans, most notably regarding his trusted managerial team. In particular there had been a misunderstanding about the role of his assistant known as 'The Cat'. Apparently the club were labouring under the misconception that he had been given this nickname due to his reputation as a high class goalkeeping coach. concerns were raised when it was revealed that he had received this nickname due to his propensity to stay out all night and sleep all day.

Due to the recent late night shenanigans of players it was felt that this would be an ill advised appointment. The source close to the club was later revealed to be Gergioiu Kebabeatari of the nearby Aston Fish Stories Bar. Stories were escalating about player unrest at the potential appointment. In particular star striker Darren Bent was said to be disgruntled at losing his mantle as 'The Mail Man'. The award winning groundsman was also said to be concerned about the possibility of Capello's assitant burying hos own excrement under the pristine Villa Park pitch. Even the club's mascot and highly renowned journalist on Vital Villa, Hercs, was said to be disgruntled, reportedly fuming 'There's only room for o one Big Cat round here'.

The final straw was said to be mounting opposition to the possible appointment on internet fan forums. A campaign, led by site Vital Villa stated that after the previous incumbent, a Ginger Tom known as Eck, this appointment would unacceptable to fans. The campaign is being driven under the slogan 'IT'S NOT WHERE YOU COME FROM IT'S WHAT YOU WILL DELIVER'. Another Scoop.....a poop from SSN.

Rowley Villa



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Rowley Villa
Date:Monday May 21 2012
Time: 10:26AM

Comments

0
not happy with the press then Rowley!? lol Decided to front page in the end!
The Fear
21/05/2012 10:28:00
0
You've got to smile.............
Pride of Lions
21/05/2012 10:53:00
0
Just to officially confirm, I have no wish to be considered for the Villa position...
oxfordspur
21/05/2012 11:55:00
0
Yes cheers The Fear. It was definitely a take on lazy media reporting, particlularly SSN which makes out it is the fountain of all knowledge. It was certainly not meant to cause hysteria. Finally apologies for some of the typos, that I found after submitting. My only, rather inadequate excuse, was that my 4 year old daughter decided she wanted attention. Mind you she did ask me who the pictures of the men on the wall of the studywere. Never one to miss an opportunity to educate in the ways of claret and blue I duly informed her that they were Brian Little and Paul McGrath (God).
Rowley Villa
21/05/2012 12:28:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

ST Early Bird Confusion Now Clarified For Existing Holders

An important clarification here for existing season ticket holders who thought the price freeze only lasted until April 7.

Walk Football Sessions - Aston Villa Foundation

Aston Villa Foundation is set to launch its brand new regular Walking Football sessions later this month.

Is Villa Owner Tony Xia Expendable?

Is Tony Xia expendable?

The Weight Of Expectations At Aston Villa?

The weight of expectations? It's up to the players to resolve this.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Staying Up
Suggested By: JP Fear
yes, staying up44%
no, going down25%
too close to call at the moment31%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 32 22 3 7 69 37
2 Brighton 32 20 8 4 68 28
3 Huddersfield 32 20 4 8 64 8
4 Reading 33 18 6 9 60 5
5 Leeds Utd 33 18 4 11 58 11
6 Sheff Wed 33 17 7 9 58 10
7 Fulham 32 14 10 8 52 17
8 Norwich 33 15 6 12 51 11
9 Barnsley 33 14 7 12 49 4
10 Preston 33 13 10 10 49 4
11 Derby County 32 13 9 10 48 7
12 Cardiff 33 13 6 14 45 -2
13 Ipswich 33 10 11 12 41 -7
14 Brentford 32 11 7 14 40 0
15 Q.P.R. 33 11 7 15 40 -10
16 Birmingham 33 10 10 13 40 -14
17 Aston Villa 32 8 12 12 36 -8
18 Forest 33 10 6 17 36 -12
19 Wolves 31 9 8 14 35 -4
20 Burton 33 9 8 16 35 -13
21 Bristol City 32 9 5 18 32 -6
22 Wigan 33 7 9 17 30 -10
23 Blackburn 31 7 8 16 29 -13
24 Rotherham 33 4 5 24 17 -43
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Renault take Red Bull aero expert
Latest Vital Boxing News
Haye Suggests a Fence Might Keep the Peace
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 25 2017 3:00PM : Derby County (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 28 2017 7:45PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 4 2017 3:00PM : Rotherham United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 7 2017 7:45PM : Huddersfield Town (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 11 2017 3:00PM : Sheffield Wednesday (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 18 2017 3:00PM : Wigan Athletic (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear396
2.JuanPabloAngel353
3.sirdennis331
4.Fulford211
5.Melon Donkey189
6.Silhillvilla184
7.villasince67178
8.Villan57144
9.McParlandTheGreat137
10.kefkat136
The Vital Football Members League