Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Capello Snubs Villa (SPOOF)

Capello Snubs Villa (SPOOF)

SSN sources understand that after highly confidential and protracted discussions with Aston Villa's billionaire owner Randy Lerner regarding the vacant managerial position, Fabio Capello has declined to proceed further. Speculation had been fuelled by the reported sighting of Lerner's private plane landing in a remote airport in Greenland.....erm sorry Greendale.

Saucers close to Capello's assistant and close confidante have stated that a number of concerns had led to Capello terminating his interest. His assistant has reportedly said that the transfer budget available was deemed insufficient to rebuild an ailing squad being quoted as saying 'the kitty on offer just wasn't big enough.' Capello had also reportedly encountered problems securing his release from his current contract.

Apparently investors in his current employer's corporation had threatened to withdraw their longstanding investment if he breached his contract. The BBC were concerned this would lead to them losing some of their remaining sporting rights, such as Happy Hippo and Twister Grand Finals, to Sky. A source close to the club also revealed that they also had a number of reservations about Capello's plans, most notably regarding his trusted managerial team. In particular there had been a misunderstanding about the role of his assistant known as 'The Cat'. Apparently the club were labouring under the misconception that he had been given this nickname due to his reputation as a high class goalkeeping coach. concerns were raised when it was revealed that he had received this nickname due to his propensity to stay out all night and sleep all day.

Due to the recent late night shenanigans of players it was felt that this would be an ill advised appointment. The source close to the club was later revealed to be Gergioiu Kebabeatari of the nearby Aston Fish Stories Bar. Stories were escalating about player unrest at the potential appointment. In particular star striker Darren Bent was said to be disgruntled at losing his mantle as 'The Mail Man'. The award winning groundsman was also said to be concerned about the possibility of Capello's assitant burying hos own excrement under the pristine Villa Park pitch. Even the club's mascot and highly renowned journalist on Vital Villa, Hercs, was said to be disgruntled, reportedly fuming 'There's only room for o one Big Cat round here'.

The final straw was said to be mounting opposition to the possible appointment on internet fan forums. A campaign, led by site Vital Villa stated that after the previous incumbent, a Ginger Tom known as Eck, this appointment would unacceptable to fans. The campaign is being driven under the slogan 'IT'S NOT WHERE YOU COME FROM IT'S WHAT YOU WILL DELIVER'. Another Scoop.....a poop from SSN.

Rowley Villa



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Rowley Villa
Date:Monday May 21 2012
Time: 10:26AM

Comments

0
not happy with the press then Rowley!? lol Decided to front page in the end!
The Fear
21/05/2012 10:28:00
0
You've got to smile.............
Pride of Lions
21/05/2012 10:53:00
0
Just to officially confirm, I have no wish to be considered for the Villa position...
oxfordspur
21/05/2012 11:55:00
0
Yes cheers The Fear. It was definitely a take on lazy media reporting, particlularly SSN which makes out it is the fountain of all knowledge. It was certainly not meant to cause hysteria. Finally apologies for some of the typos, that I found after submitting. My only, rather inadequate excuse, was that my 4 year old daughter decided she wanted attention. Mind you she did ask me who the pictures of the men on the wall of the studywere. Never one to miss an opportunity to educate in the ways of claret and blue I duly informed her that they were Brian Little and Paul McGrath (God).
Rowley Villa
21/05/2012 12:28:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Is This Gardner's Year?

It's fair to say that despite scoring in the pre season victory over Cambridge the other day, Gary Gardner didn't have a great game...but if there was one season...

Guzan Undergoes Medical Ahead Of Boro Move

As the day progressed it was being reported that goalkeeper Brad Guzan was up in Middlesbrough to undergo a medical ahead of a deal being announced in the...

Premier League International Cup Groups Drawn

With the announcement of an expanded Premier League International Cup for this season...

Director Missing In Action At Aston Villa?

Where is Chris Samuelson on the directors list for Aston Villa?

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Would you keep Scott Sinclair?
Suggested By: JP Fear
Yes, could be an asset65%
No33%
Unsure2%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Aston Villa 0 0 0 0 0 0
2 Barnsley 0 0 0 0 0 0
3 Birmingham 0 0 0 0 0 0
4 Blackburn 0 0 0 0 0 0
5 Brentford 0 0 0 0 0 0
6 Brighton 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 Bristol City 0 0 0 0 0 0
8 Burton 0 0 0 0 0 0
9 Cardiff 0 0 0 0 0 0
10 Derby County 0 0 0 0 0 0
11 Fulham 0 0 0 0 0 0
12 Huddersfield 0 0 0 0 0 0
13 Ipswich 0 0 0 0 0 0
14 Leeds Utd 0 0 0 0 0 0
15 Newcastle 0 0 0 0 0 0
16 Norwich 0 0 0 0 0 0
17 Forest 0 0 0 0 0 0
18 Preston 0 0 0 0 0 0
19 Q.P.R. 0 0 0 0 0 0
20 Reading 0 0 0 0 0 0
21 Rotherham 0 0 0 0 0 0
22 Sheff Wed 0 0 0 0 0 0
23 Wigan 0 0 0 0 0 0
24 Wolves 0 0 0 0 0 0
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Championship will be lost by DNFs
Latest Vital Boxing News
Frampton’s Banking on his Power!
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear522
2.sirdennis219
3.Fulford195
4.glensider163
5.Silhillvilla149
6.kefkat141
7.gator125
8.1958Villan98
9.McParlandTheGreat98
10.HeathfieldRoad187487
The Vital Football Members League