*We join McLeish after his talks and subsequent sacking from Aston Villa Football Club, he has emptied his desk into a box and is leaving the offices for a final time when the box splits and his belongings spill on to the steps.*
McLeish: Balls! Today is NOT Big Eck's day!
*A number of players step over McLeish sniggering as he collects his things, Heskey who is carrying a large holdall carrying the contents of his locker rests it down and helps McLeish*
McLeish: Why thank ye Emile.
Heskey: No problem boss .... Erm ... Mr.McLeish .....Erm Alex?
McLeish: Aye. Alex will do.
*Heskey studies a few of the things he passes back into the now re-assembled box*
Heskey: You have a few Fulham season highlight DVDs, I didn't realise you were a fan?
McLeish: Are ye kiddin'? They have the most nil-nil matches in Premier League history! Captivatin' stuff
Heskey: Um.... Yeah ... I'm sure.
McLeish: Aye Emile. There's a match between them and Derby County, 2007-2008, nil-nil, they just stared at each other for 90 minutes, it was amazin' there was only one shot from both teams, off-target. and that was just the wind blowing the ball from the centre spot half a foot north at the beginning of each half.
Heskey: Wow... That sounds.... Great(!)
McLeish: Ye can come 'round and watch it anytime Emile, me, you I'll get some popcorn an'....
Heskey: ...Um... I won't be able to make it boss....Alex, I'm busy then I'm afraid.
McLeish: I didnae stipulate a date, it was an open invitation.
Heskey: Yeah ... Um I'll be busy.
McLeish: But ye've nae even got a club....
McLeish: Right, OK then, well thanks for tha' hand. See you around.
*McLeish stands again lifting his box and heading to his car.*
*Heskey hoists his bag onto his shoulder, staring after McLeish*
Heskey: Um .... Boss Alex, can you give me a lift maybe?
McLeish: A lift? Ye've got yer own car? what's up with it?
Heskey: Nothing, it's just .... Well it takes me hours to drive home.
*McLeish looks confused*
McLeish: You live ten minutes up the road?
Heskey: Yeah ... But I go to take the left .... I miss it .... I go to take the third exit on the roundabout ... I miss it ... I go ....
McLeish: Yes, yes I understand. Alright Emile I suppose one good turn deserves another.
Heskey: It takes me ages to turn boss I have the turning circle of the Earth Granty says...
McLeish: Yes, anyway hop in, it's open.
*McLeish and Heskey take their seats*
Heskey: Woooo! Road trip!
McLeish: Please Emile, no excited exclamations in my car, it's one of my rules.
Heskey: Right, sorry. Wow look at us, we're like Crockett and Tubbs, Riggs and Murtaugh, whatever the names of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan are in the Rush Hour films.
*Heskey does Chris Tucker's Rush Hour 'in-car dance'. McLeish is just staring at Heskey*
Heskey: What? You want to be Chris Tucker? I mean I'm fine with being Jackie Chan if...
McLeish: No dancing or any kind of 'rhythmic movement' in the car, it's another of the rules, actually Emile, just read the book in tha' glove box an' save me tha' time.
*Heskey pulls out a thick laminated book labelled 'Car Rules' and reads through them, after a few he remarks....*
Heskey: .... How could you even score a single or multiple goals from inside your car?
McLeish: Ta be honest Emile, that was tha' least of tha rules I was worried about with ye.
*There is a large tearing sound*
Heskey: Um.... Boss.... I may have ripped the book.
McLeish: Ripped it!? It's laminated! And one of the rules is not to rip the rule book! Saints above .... I'm too old for this sh....
Heskey: Hey! I let you be Chris Tucker you're not taking Murtaugh too!
Aston Villa have six players away with their countries in the October international window.
Midfielder Jordan Veretout hasn't just had to adjust to life in a new country, at a new club and with a new language, there was also the small matter...
Err. The Vital Villa man of the match v Stoke City...
Manager Tim Sherwood has given his normal Monday briefing, and goalkeeper Brad Guzan has also given his thoughts as frustration reigns.
|1.||Pride of Lions||278|
|9.||LORD RON SAUNDERS||53|