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@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room At Season's End

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room At Season's End

*We join the lads unhappy with a poor result and worse season*

Albrighton: Well. It could have been worse. At least we got through the season.

Bannan: Um.....Well most of us did.

*Bannan pokes a motionless Darren Bent who is lying in the middle of the dressing room with a stick, flies are buzzing around him*

Bannan: Poor guy, died of boredom.

Bent: What I'm not dead! ... Just bored!

Albrighton: ... and the flies?

Bent: I'm top-tailing with Emile, he's stinking up the place as usual.

*Heskey is still snoring and talking to himself in his sleep*

Heskey: 'and it's Heskey.... Heskey... HESKEY!!!! Oh. It's gone for a throw'.

Heskey pops to a sitting position, snorts and stretches*

Heskey: Oh hi guys. I was just having a wonderful dream where I was scoring loads of goals. They were definitely all going in.

*the lads are looking at Heskey with scepticism.*

Heskey: What? They were. Every shot.

McLeish: Well lads, next season we'll definitely do better eh? Not tha' this season went that badly of course.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

McLeish: What? What is funny? Like I said, next season we ...

*the lads erupt with laughter again*

McLeish: What? Are some of yez leaving or somethin'? I mean Carlos and Emile I know but... Is there some mass exodus?

Ireland: Oh no boss, we're not going anywhere?

*McLeish gasps with horror*

McLeish: You think I am going to be sacked!? I think not. Who steered us out of relegation!?

Albrighton: ... The Baggies?

McLeish: What!? No ... Me. Alex McLeish. It's my second ever highest Premier League finish, they'll be dancing on the streets of Aston!

Ireland: Not just yet they won't....

Mcleish: There's no reason to sack me, they'll back me! Back me I tell you.

Ireland: Aye, back you off a cliff, in a SACK!

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

Gabby: To be fair boss you are the worst manager since 1890-91 where we also only had 7 wins but that was in a 12 team league so .....

McLeish: 12 teams!? Barely gives you the opportunity to draw enough to make up for your losses does it? Look lads, anyone worried that I'm getting sacked needn't worry.

Hutton: Oh thank God!

*the lads all turn to stare at Hutton*

McLeish: I'm unsackable, totally unsackable.

*Faulkner knocks the door enters and hands McLeish a letter*

McLeish: 'Dear Lex, Please see me in my office on Monday wearing the attire provided for you by Mr.Falconboy'

*McLeish looks at Faulkner who holds out a rope potato sack, McLeish takes the sack flaps it out and reads the text printed on it*

McLeish: 'I've just been 'SACKED' by Randy Lerner!'?

*McLeish looks at Faulkner who shrugs*

Faulkner: American humour.

McLeish: Oh, a joke? So I don`t have to wear this and I`m not sacked.

*McLeish looks at Faulkner hopefully holding the sack back toward him. Faulkner maintains a stern look pushing McLeish`s hand with the sack back to his chest, turns and leaves. Ireland gives McLeish an 'I told you so' look*

Date:Monday May 14 2012
Time: 5:19PM


Very good!
14/05/2012 17:26:00
pmsl... always a great read!!
14/05/2012 17:44:00
"12 teams!? Barely gives you the opportunity to draw enough to make up for your losses does it?" haha Brilliant!
14/05/2012 17:48:00
Cheers Hercs, Fear and all Vital for the past Season! It has not been easy at times but ye stuck it out and thanks :) UTV
14/05/2012 17:48:00
It's a bit weird reading this and not needing it to bring me out of despair
14/05/2012 18:19:00
My thoughts exactly Jongekki. Thank you Hercs, you have been the ONLY thing to smile about through this season wrt Villa.
14/05/2012 18:49:00
Thanks for the best one of the season, have a good summer mate, Im sure a few of us will now!
Stourbridge Villan
14/05/2012 19:06:00
ROFL.... love the ref to Heskers giving away more throw-ins than actually threatening the goalie! With Heskey gone and McDraw sacked, will there be opportunities for humour? I believe Hercs will find something to pick up on ;) Thanks m8
14/05/2012 21:30:00
I think next years vain of humor will be Babies/Kids - lots of rattles and nappies being changed.
15/05/2012 06:55:00
Well done again mate. I have found these harder to read as the season went on, and on, Some light at the end of the tunnel. I currently have a permanent smile that makes me look like I'm insane. UTV!
15/05/2012 07:37:00
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