UK time is: 06:07:13
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Why Did Alex McLeish Cross The Road?

Now that the end of the season's over, we should forget that it ever happened. Time for fun. How about some jokes?

Disclaimer: These jokes are all tongue-in-cheek, meant as a bit of fun and not intended to reflect real life situations, people or events in any way at all!!

Alex McLeish has recently adopted a son from Asia called No-Win In Nine.

Q: What does Alex McLeish do when he`s attacked by the press and fans?

: Stays in his own half and plays for the draw.

Q: What have Alex McLeish and Abu Hamza got in common?

: Neither of them can hold onto a lead.

Q: How many Alex McLeishs does it take to change a light bulb?

: None; they would all rather play in the dark.

Alex McLeish is also remembered from his experiences in the army, when he famously used an assault rifle to deflect the stones being thrown at him. This was how he got started in management.

Alex McLeish is hosting the re-launch of a children`s TV programme involving painting, sculpting and creative design made by Neil Buchanan......it`s called Art Defence.

Q: How can you tell when Alex McLeish is worried?

: His team has a 3-goal lead.

The nickname 'Eck` is short for 'Neck`s always on the line in every managerial post he`s been in thanks to lack of tactical awareness and inappropiate use of the team` but it was shortened to 'Eck` by the media.

Alex McLeish loved Sports Day at school, excelling in the long jump and the sack race.

Alex McLeish once worked in the circus as a human jack-in-the-box, but he was fired because he refused to come out of it.

Q: How does Alex McLeish like his hair cut? A: 1 up top, 2 on the sides and 5 at the back.

Alex McLeish has emailed Sir Alex Ferguson requesting the second half of a document he wrote called How To Succeed in Football Management: Defending and Attacking. He hasn`t replied for 6 years.

As a youngster Alex McLeish was frequently asked to clean his room but he refused, as it seemed too much like a chore.

In his teenage years Alex McLeish had a paper round but he quit when he realised he would have to put the papers into the box.

Q: What`s the difference between Alex McLeish and a junkie?

: The junkie can score from a corner.

Alex McLeish has praised mentor Sir Alex Ferguson for the manner in which Manchester United conceded their 8-point lead to lose the Premier League title.

In his playing days Alex McLeish once took a free-kick 25 yards from the opposition goal. He lined it up perfectly, took his run up and blasted it.....all the way back to his keeper.

Alex McLeish once lost a game of cards because his club couldn`t beat hearts.

Being a music lover, Alex McLeish once got £100 worth of HMV vouchers from a friend for his birthday. After walking round the store for 90 minutes he left empty-handed, claiming that his friend needed to be realistic if he thought he`d be able to get something.



lex McLeish was once asked who inspired him the most. His response? "Richard O`Brien. I got through to the final zone of the Crystal Maze once, and Richard`s advice was to ignore the fans and just go for the money. I`ve tried to live my life by that advice ever since."




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Turkish Penguin Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday May 13 2012

Time: 9:59PM

Your Comments

knock knock: whos there? its alex. ***** off.
lerneravfc
What's the difference between Alex McLeish and a bag of *****? - The bag.
SchoolBoyError
Why did Alex McLeish ask the players to change their socks at half time ? Because he could smell defeat !
MASON_PARKER
Why did Alex McLeish leave the Army? They had to be tactical. Why does Alex McLeish wear clothes? To keep some dignity. Why did chose to be a football manager and not a rugby coach? Because rugby involves physical contact. What did Alex McLeish say to his cat? Nothing because the cat walked off. What is Alex McLeish's favourite colour? He doesn't have one because he's blind. What has Alex McLeish claimed he did on the moon? He claims he spoke to martians.
Avfc94 we do
Choose* claimed to have done*
Avfc94 we do
Just heard that McMuppet has been offered a new contract. 2 Years, 400 anytime any network minutes and unlimited texts.
voiceoftheholte
People are blaming RL for continuing to support him even though he never takes the blame, but as an american he is probably unaware of our old english proverb "a bad tool always blames his workmen"
griffgriff
so hilarious
Sajit
This has cheered me up after €ity buying the league yesterday.
Tottenham Hotcore
Love the "Art Defence" joke. Has he gone yet?
Adam Deuce
Q: What`s the difference between Alex McLeish and a junkie?

: The junkie can score from a corner.

ROFL!!!
Villan Of The North
Why did Alex McLeish cross the road??? Because he is a ****!
heavy d
To catch a TAXI from B6, BYE, SO LONG, CHOW, AU REVOIR, etc
Fenrison
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Lambert Out? Or Go Again? (Wednesday October 29 2014)

U21s Gain Wolves Victory (Wednesday October 29 2014)

Lambert Out Petition (Tuesday October 28 2014)

Four Seniors Turn Out For Sid (Tuesday October 28 2014)

The Wagons Start To Circle Villa (Tuesday October 28 2014)

Lambert Post QPR Reaction - Shocking! (Tuesday October 28 2014)

Stats: QPR v Aston Villa (Monday October 27 2014)

Villa U21s In Pirelli Agreement (Monday October 27 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. The Fear 907
2. Pride of Lions 859
3. ClivetheVillan 778
4. thefacehead 517
5. sirdennis 296
6. HeathfieldRoad1874 279
7. kefkat 275
8. DeanoVilla 202
9. Freeman14 197
10. Villan Of The North 188

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
12. Stoke 9 3 2 4 -2 11
13. WBA 9 2 4 3 -1 10
14. Newcastle 9 2 4 3 -5 10
15. Aston Villa 9 3 1 5 -10 10
16. Crystal Palace 9 2 3 4 -3 9
17. Leicester City 9 2 3 4 -4 9
18. Sunderland 9 1 5 3 -9 8

Breaking League News

Swansea Hopeful Sigurdsson & Ki Will Return
» Swansea : 30/10/2014 20:52:00
Swansea City Have Fernandez Red Card Rescinded
» Swansea : 30/10/2014 20:44:00
Irvine Expecting Tough Leicester Encounter
» WBA : 30/10/2014 17:12:00
Varela Resumes Full Training
» WBA : 30/10/2014 17:07:00
Koeman Delighted With Second Stoke Win
» Southampton : 30/10/2014 16:55:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v Spurs (home) will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win 1%
Lose 87%
Draw 12%