Writer: Turkish Penguin
Date:Sunday May 13 2012
Now that the end of the season's over, we should forget that it ever happened. Time for fun. How about some jokes?
Disclaimer: These jokes are all tongue-in-cheek, meant as a bit of fun and not intended to reflect real life situations, people or events in any way at all!!
Alex McLeish has recently adopted a son from Asia called No-Win In Nine.
Q: What does Alex McLeish do when he`s attacked by the press and fans?
: Stays in his own half and plays for the draw.
Q: What have Alex McLeish and Abu Hamza got in common?
: Neither of them can hold onto a lead.
Q: How many Alex McLeishs does it take to change a light bulb?
: None; they would all rather play in the dark.
Alex McLeish is also remembered from his experiences in the army, when he famously used an assault rifle to deflect the stones being thrown at him. This was how he got started in management.
Alex McLeish is hosting the re-launch of a children`s TV programme involving painting, sculpting and creative design made by Neil Buchanan......it`s called Art Defence.
Q: How can you tell when Alex McLeish is worried?
: His team has a 3-goal lead.
The nickname 'Eck` is short for 'Neck`s always on the line in every managerial post he`s been in thanks to lack of tactical awareness and inappropiate use of the team` but it was shortened to 'Eck` by the media.
Alex McLeish loved Sports Day at school, excelling in the long jump and the sack race.
Alex McLeish once worked in the circus as a human jack-in-the-box, but he was fired because he refused to come out of it.
Q: How does Alex McLeish like his hair cut? A: 1 up top, 2 on the sides and 5 at the back.
Alex McLeish has emailed Sir Alex Ferguson requesting the second half of a document he wrote called How To Succeed in Football Management: Defending and Attacking. He hasn`t replied for 6 years.
As a youngster Alex McLeish was frequently asked to clean his room but he refused, as it seemed too much like a chore.
In his teenage years Alex McLeish had a paper round but he quit when he realised he would have to put the papers into the box.
Q: What`s the difference between Alex McLeish and a junkie?
: The junkie can score from a corner.
Alex McLeish has praised mentor Sir Alex Ferguson for the manner in which Manchester United conceded their 8-point lead to lose the Premier League title.
In his playing days Alex McLeish once took a free-kick 25 yards from the opposition goal. He lined it up perfectly, took his run up and blasted it.....all the way back to his keeper.
Alex McLeish once lost a game of cards because his club couldn`t beat hearts.
Being a music lover, Alex McLeish once got £100 worth of HMV vouchers from a friend for his birthday. After walking round the store for 90 minutes he left empty-handed, claiming that his friend needed to be realistic if he thought he`d be able to get something.
lex McLeish was once asked who inspired him the most. His response? "Richard O`Brien. I got through to the final zone of the Crystal Maze once, and Richard`s advice was to ignore the fans and just go for the money. I`ve tried to live my life by that advice ever since."
Date:Sunday May 13 2012
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