Aston Villa - Listen Carefully, I Shall Say This Only Once....
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Listen Carefully, I Shall Say This Only Once....

Listen Carefully, I shall Say This Only Once....

This week the Villa Ministry of Information began disseminating its agenda via its agents who have told us that we have a "fantastic manager," that he has the "skin of a rhino" (if not its brains and eyes) and that supporters are wasting their breath in letting our "fantastic manager" know the extent of our feelings. All of these "facts"were given to supporters with the reassurance of an orbiting Death Star. I, however, believe that many of the things we are being told are currently untrue. I must speak quickly though, before I am identified and forced at pie point to read a statement, confessing on video that Alan Hutton is a great right back an an astute purchase.

This week saw the annual club awards dinner in which honours for the "Best player of a bad bunch (Petrov excluded)" "Young talented player who will most likely leave for Man Utd" and "Best goal out of the few we have scored" were presented. The Ministry plans that in the event we need a goal on Sunday that the players will throw their awards at Brad Friedel in attempt to distract the zimmer framed keeper long enough for Gabriel Agbonlahor to score his first goal since Diplodocus walked the earth. This will be aided by Agent N'Zogbia who will finally turn off his cloaking device and appear in the game just when Spurs least expect it. It is a cunning plan.

Meanwhile the ministry moves to quash supporter investigation into why we have been unable to defend from set pieces or indeed, score from a corner for the entire season. If they think that cliché statements such as "rub of the green" or "eye off the ball" will work and that parachuting Emile Heskey onto the right wing will make us believe them then we know better, comrades. We will therefore continue to speak to each other in secret about training methods and tactical application until we are all taken away in claret and blue vans to be re-educated, half-witted, unlearned cash cows that we are. Until then freely proclaim your beliefs until you are asked to take down your hastily written on bed sheets and desist from free speech.

We must however, despite a policy of disinformation and an intelligence blackout at B6, continue to hold onto the following dangerous truths:




With this in mind I present to you the revolutionary ideas that

a) This manager is not fantastic at all and is in fact rubbish.

b) We will sodding well tell him and the players how we feel because we have earned the right to do that in both moral, historical and financial terms.

c) We expect them to ruddy well listen and respect and value our wishes and opinions. Finally,

d) We absolutely, whole heartedly demand that they win a 5th game of football at home before we all spontaneously explode from collective hysteria.

Answers in code as to what we should all do on the players lap of honour at the end of the Spurs game.

Message Out.


Previous from: Villa_Grizzly:

An End To Villa Boom And Bust?
Far From The Madding Crowd
A Dirty No Good Villan
Going Through The Change
When The Fat Lady Sings

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The Journalist

Writer: Villa_Grizzly Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday May 2 2012

Time: 1:43PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Might you not explode if they did win a 5th game ?
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 13:53:00

They all better get booed on the lap of "honor" (PMSL what has been honorable about this season?). The team, manager and the board have been an absolute disgrace and they should hear the anger they have instilled in us the supporters and his income.
Green Villan
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02/05/2012 13:55:00

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02/05/2012 13:57:00

Well if tyhey decide on doing a lap of "dis-honour" they deserve all the end of season grtief they get ==== If we cant do i then - when should we let our views be known?
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 14:04:00

This would be very funny if it wasn't so true.
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 14:07:00

Great stuff. As for the lap of honour, I don't think booing the players is appropriate. Just think of the little ones.
Stephen Jay Hawkings
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02/05/2012 14:27:00

Lap of honour? I don't know how they've got the balls if they actually have the gaul to do one! I woulndn't be at all suprised if 'Lerner The Visionary' was planning to perservere with McLoser. All the more reason for sustained voices at the remaining 2 games. MCLEISH OUT!
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 14:27:00

Good point Stephen.
Green Villan
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02/05/2012 14:55:00

<- Great stuff. As for the lap of honour, I don't think booing the players is appropriate. Just think of the little ones. -> Bannan will just have to take it on he chin.
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 15:12:00

Booing on the lap of honour is definitely shutting the door after the horse has bolted. As said, also it's not the players fault that Eck is useless and in fact that he was appointed. The youngsters won't want to hang around and may be getting their agents to speak to Man U earlier......Bannan will have to have his nose removed from Eck's backside to join in!!!
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 15:27:00

If the club had any sense there would be a short statement confirming that the players wish to thank the fans for their support but do not believe there should be a lap of appreciation due to the season we have endured. In other words admitting that we have been cack and dont deserve any adulation from the fans, especially when you consider that 1 week later we could still go down if things went against us!!
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 15:31:00

Agreed WH...
The Fear
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02/05/2012 15:36:00

While they are wearing the claret and blue of the mighty Aston Villa I will never boo them. Besides we may still need the points from norwich and they still need our support. If Mcleish decided to say a final farewell to the fans that would be a completely different matter.
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 15:42:00

I would certainly not boo any Villa side..... ffs, I'm a Villa Supporter! However, if they did do a lap of whatever.... I would stand silently, arms folded.
Pride of Lions
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02/05/2012 16:08:00

I would just leave, Pride. Ignore the players/management like they've ignored us all season, and put that time to better use! Every year I've stayed for the lap of appreciation, but there's been absolutely nowt to appreciate this year, so I shall be leaving at the final whistle...which may technically be the half time whistle if McRelegator stands true to form...
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 16:41:00

According to McLeish it was only a minority of the fans who didnt support him.....cant wait for him to try and blame the fans for this season failings for not giving him a chance. Lying mother trucker
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 16:55:00

I don't particularly want to have a go at the players but whatever happens in the last two games Lerner has got to be left in no doubt that we will not tolerate another season with McLeish as manager. Maybe another 5 minutes at the end of the Spurs game to match the end of the Bolton game?
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 18:28:00

The more i hear the players spouting what a wonderful manager we have the more im convinced he's going nowhere if we stay up. Their plan is to keep us quiet till the spuds game is out of the way and then try and soften us up in the summer with a few signings, saying they are HIS team and if he doesn't get them playing then he'll go next year!
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 21:13:00

fantastically truthful article, warts and all. Great Stuff, villa is like a communist blackout zone, we are not allowed to speak or hear the truth
Randy bollox
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02/05/2012 22:16:00

No way would I boo the players. The "manager" on the other hand... good article fella
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 22:56:00

I'm just not going, which is my version of booing. I've got better things to spend my money on than a sub-standard product from a club run by people that don't listen to their customers. In the past, I've always driven 100 miles to Villa for the desperate games to give my extra bit of support. Not this time, though. The people that run our club do not treat the club or it's customers with respect which is why my ticket/fuel money will buy a nicer birthday present for my daughter than usual. The best way to make a troublesome animal move on is to starve it.
Windy Villain
Report Abuse
02/05/2012 23:09:00

At the end of the Game give them all the CLAP
Report Abuse
03/05/2012 02:02:00

we will not get a point on Sunday, hopefully we will not get a hiding either. Our only hope is away at Carrow Road Sunday week. Our only real hope is City beating QPR which means we will survive on goal difference. Mc Leish you should be very proud!!! OUT OUT OUT. COTVABU
irish villa
Report Abuse
03/05/2012 08:15:00

Don't boo the players aim it all at McLeish and Lerner. Better manager would have these boys playing much much better. Can't wait for Martinez to roll into town
Report Abuse
03/05/2012 08:36:00

Funny article. There is always a few minutes after the end of the game before the players come back out on to the pitch. This should be seen as the biggest opportunity to vent our feelings. Every fan who wants McMuppet Out should use this time to let Randolph hear their views. Equally those in support of the manager can use the time to let the board know how much he is loved. Protest before, during (if we are getting a beating) and after. That said, McMuppet is already gone as soon as we are safe, but lets ensure that a final nail is hammered into his managerial coffin for everybodys peace of mind.
Report Abuse
03/05/2012 09:37:00

Good piece Grizzly and very true. Stephen by the little ones I gather your talking about Bannon lol. No heve never booed anyone wearing a Villa shirt. But any lap of honour should be met with stoney silence I agree with Pride on that one.
Report Abuse
03/05/2012 10:25:00

Agree with voiceofthholte. We should use the blow of the final whistle to let the manager know exactly what we think then applaud the young guns on the lap of dishonour.
Report Abuse
03/05/2012 11:05:00


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