Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room Before Chelsea

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room Before Chelsea

*We join the lads preparing for their match against Chelsea*

McLeish: Righ' lads! Settle down. It's time for one of ma' inspirational pre-match talks.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

McLeish: Silence! Who's tellin' tha' jokes!? Need I remind you there is a full entertainment ban at Villa Park? Anyway where was I?... Oh. Inspiration. Righ' lads, It'd be unrealistic to expect you to win against Chelsea..... Or draw. I'm nae absolutely certain we can even manage to lose so all I ask is that ye defend.

Gabby: Defend? Defend what!? I don't even know what we're fighting for anymore.

McLeish: Fighting!? I dinnae want te see any fight out there lads. Lets just lose like the stature of our two teams would suggest. Let's nae upset the odds for the bet punters oot there.

Albrighton: Bet punters? What about the Villa fans? I think THEY'll be upset if....

*McLeish turns almost green with rage, he is nearly jumping on the spot yelling with anger*

McLeish: The Villa fans!? What do they know!? 'You don't know what your doing?' that's what they said when I made the substitution of tha' season, nae, tha century! Now go out there and be the lesser of the two teams. As it is on paper, it shall be in practice!

Cuellar: So .... We are ... To lose?.... I do not like losing. It is like winning only without the sweet, sweet victory.

McLeish: What more can we do Carlos? Eh!?

Albrighton: Well.... We could at least try to win... Then if we lose ... Well we knew we tried our best and...

McLeish: Have you been coluding with Villa fans Marc? Telling you their fairytales about beating the likes of Arsenal and Chelsea. Look lads, fine, I'll give you tha' optimisim ye seem te crave...

*McLeish clears his throat and forces an awkward smile the lads lean in intrigued and hopeful*

McLeish: Righ' if ye go out there t'night, we can do it. Some of ye will probably survive and tha' ones that don't .... Well their deaths may be swift..... Probably no' though.

Heskey (wiping a tear from his eye): Beautiful boss .... Beautiful ..... Can I start again?

McLeish: Of course Emile. Now everybody approach the match like Emile, grab the game by the scruff of the neck then put it back down gently and apologise fer thinkin' it was a game we could do something in!

*the lads stare open mouthed at McLeish, a couple give awkward mistimed applause, McLeish bows and exits*

Heskey: He must be descended from Braveheart himself eh lads!? Amazing.

*the lads all turn and stare at Heskey with anger*

Heskey: Ooh I can just see the passion in your eyes guys.

Gabby: It's anger!

Heskey: Oh.... Right.

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday March 30 2012
Time: 6:15PM

Comments

0
Posted this before I found out about Stan Petrov. Gutted. My thoughts go out to him and his, a consummate professional, a dedicated and consistent role model, a quality player. Get well soon Stan.
Hercs
30/03/2012 18:28:00
0
Obviously mate, and you're normally a bright spark in a fog of misery, today's news has hit us all.
Steff_the_Villan
30/03/2012 18:49:00
0
lol... almost prophetical!
thorpyuk
01/04/2012 13:09:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

End Of Season Villa Loan Update (31/5/16)

Following on from mid April's update, here's the final bits of info from the players Aston Villa had out on loan as the 2015/16 campaign ended.

Insert Your Own - X Interested In Jack Grealish

Liverpool, Tottenham Hotspur and Stoke City are just three of the seemingly endless number of teams interested in taking Jack Grealish this summer...Everton makes it four...

A Villan's International Round Up

There were a number of Villan's on international duty in recent days - so a quick an easy recap for anybody with an international mind.

How Much Have Aston Villa Earned Since 1992?

With the £100million television ceiling being broken this season and handed to one club, where do Aston Villa fall in all time Premier League payments table?

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Roberto Di Matteo would be:
Suggested By: JP Fear
A great appointment31%
A good appointment but I'd prefer a.n.other38%
An average appointment16%
No thanks appointment!15%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 38 23 12 3 81 32
2 Arsenal 38 20 11 7 71 29
3 Spurs 38 19 13 6 70 34
4 Man City 38 19 9 10 66 30
5 Man Utd 38 19 9 10 66 14
6 Southampton 38 18 9 11 63 18
7 West Ham 38 16 14 8 62 14
8 Liverpool 38 16 12 10 60 13
9 Stoke 38 14 9 15 51 -14
10 Chelsea 38 12 14 12 50 6
11 Everton 38 11 14 13 47 4
12 Swansea 38 12 11 15 47 -10
13 Watford 38 12 9 17 45 -10
14 WBA 38 10 13 15 43 -14
15 Crystal Palace 38 11 9 18 42 -12
16 AFC Bournemouth 38 11 9 18 42 -22
17 Sunderland 38 9 12 17 39 -14
R Newcastle 38 9 10 19 37 -21
R Norwich 38 9 7 22 34 -28
R Aston Villa 38 3 8 27 17 -49
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Grid penalties in Canada for Kvyat & Ericsson
Latest Vital Boxing News
Callum Smith makes it 20 Out of 20
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions911
2.The Fear557
3.kefkat372
4.sirdennis311
5.Fulford274
6.Lerner Out!250
7.JuanPabloAngel234
8.glensider205
9.Silhillvilla187
10.DeanoVilla181
Vital Football Comment