Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room before Bolton

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room before Bolton

*we join Alex Mcleish enjoying plain porridge listening to Morrissey in his office whilst reading 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. He rubs his chin*

McLeish: 'Smiling' eh? People like that do they?

*The door knocks, Peter Grant enters nonchalantly checking his clipboard, McLeish is beaming at him.*

Grant: Hey boss, I.....What in the!?

*On laying his eyes on McLeish's battered grin, Grant instictively throws his clipboard and covers his eyes defensively as his papers gently fall in the air around him*

Grant: Have ... I done something wrong boss? ... Or.... Are you hurt... Or something...?

*McLeish drops his smile adopting his default scowl and slides his book into a waste paper bin*

McLeish: I didnae wan' te 'Win' anything anyway. Nothin' more satisfying than a draw.

Grant(picking up his papers and composing himself): Sorry boss?

McLeish: Nothin', how can I help ye Pete?

Grant: Well... Um ... It's bad news boss.

McLeish: Darren's recovering faster than expected!?

Grant: No boss. It's the boy, Weimann, he scored, again, for the reserves.

McLeish: What!?

Grant: Um... Yeah, I'm also hearing rumours that he lives in the wild, like a fox and that he only wants for goals, which he mostly gets ... In the box.

*McLeish chokes on his porridge*

McLeish: A fox ....in the box!? This lad is going to ruin my plans!

Grant: I know boss...

McLeish: I mean all I want is an easy life. A good nil nil here, maybe one one there...

Grant: Yes boss I know but...

McLeish: And he comes in hungry like the wolf.

Grant: Or a fox boss.

McLeish: Aye, or a fox. I tell ye Pete, this lad is the most evil person ever to have come from Austria, he must be stopped.

Grant: Um... I don't know boss, that seems a little....

McLeish: Stop him!

Grant: I ... Don't think we can boss... The fans seem to like him.

McLeish: Grr, fans! Always watching aren't they? with their eyes!

Grant: Boss, calm down, please. Yer scarin' me.



****Later. Albrighton is catching up with Weimann*****

Albrighton: So, looking forward to the match tonight then Andi!?

Weimann: For us, there is no spring. Just the wind that smells fresh before the storm.

Albrighton: O.....K. How cool was your goal though? I mean in front of the Holte End and to win the match too, that must be an awesome feeling,it's what it's all about eh?

Weimann: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

Albrighton: ......Yeah. Well .... Anyway, good to see you finally breaking into to the team. Maybe now you can start wearing clothes? I mean I'm not judging or anything, just saying.

Weimann: Almost 20 years of pitiless cumber! No rest, no sleep like other men. And yet the spring wind blows, Marc. Have you ever felt such a wind?

Albrighton: Um.... I'm going to move a little over here now. Er.... Good Luck tonight.

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday March 16 2012
Time: 2:23PM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
LOL, that was super,
clivethevillan
16/03/2012 14:29:00
0
Erm - Conan the Barbarian, Herc? Not Shakespeare? :o)
BobTheBuilder
16/03/2012 14:42:00
0
Ha! I'm glad someone got the Conan the Barbarian stuff. Thought people may have thought I'd gone mad (or more mad). I was most disappointed he sounded more like Hitz than Arnie in his post match interview.
Hercs
16/03/2012 14:56:00
0
Yes hercs and a sniff of terry pratchett? fantastically funny hehe
thorpyuk
16/03/2012 15:11:00
0
LOL brilliant as usual Hercs :)
Green Villan
16/03/2012 16:36:00
0
"McLeish: Grr, fans! Always watching aren't they? with their eyes!" Pure magic they get better and better
villa@herts
16/03/2012 17:02:00
0
Classic, thanks :)
Stourbridge Villan
16/03/2012 19:22:00
0
Conan the Destroyer is on ITV4 tonight. A sign that Weimann will score a hat trick on Tuesday if ever I saw one.
Hercs
16/03/2012 19:47:00
0
Loved it! As usual,,,Mmmmmm Conan, scantily clad women : )
Steff_the_Villan
16/03/2012 23:14:00
0
"hungry like the wolf".... love it. Good stuff as usual Hercs....
Pride of Lions
17/03/2012 09:06:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

HK - Abdo & McKirdy Talk Soccer 7's Trophy

Khalid Abdo and Harry McKirdy have both been giving their thoughts on Aston Villa's Hong Kong Soccer Sevens success last weekend.

Grealish Bags Brace On Full England U21 Debut

Youngster Jack Grealish made his England Under 21 debut in their last game against Portugal, and tonight he went one better on his full debut against Guinea.

Clark Linked To West Brom - Okore On The Future

Republic of Ireland centre half Ciaran Clark is again being linked with a move to West Bromwich Albion, and Jores Okore has been speaking about his future.

HK - Petty Delighted With Soccer Sevens Win

Coach Ben Petty has hailed the attitude of the youngsters who lifted the Hong Kong Soccer Sevens at the weekend.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

David Moyes would be:
Suggested By: JP Fear
A great appointment74%
A good appointment but I'd prefer a.n.other10%
Average appointment1%
No thanks appointment15%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 38 23 12 3 81 32
2 Arsenal 38 20 11 7 71 29
3 Spurs 38 19 13 6 70 34
4 Man City 38 19 9 10 66 30
5 Man Utd 38 19 9 10 66 14
6 Southampton 38 18 9 11 63 18
7 West Ham 38 16 14 8 62 14
8 Liverpool 38 16 12 10 60 13
9 Stoke 38 14 9 15 51 -14
10 Chelsea 38 12 14 12 50 6
11 Everton 38 11 14 13 47 4
12 Swansea 38 12 11 15 47 -10
13 Watford 38 12 9 17 45 -10
14 WBA 38 10 13 15 43 -14
15 Crystal Palace 38 11 9 18 42 -12
16 AFC Bournemouth 38 11 9 18 42 -22
17 Sunderland 38 9 12 17 39 -14
R Newcastle 38 9 10 19 37 -21
R Norwich 38 9 7 22 34 -28
R Aston Villa 38 3 8 27 17 -49
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
F1 teams cover good mileage in test
Latest Vital Boxing News
Makabu Threatens to Knock Bellew Out
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions786
2.The Fear416
3.kefkat311
4.sirdennis271
5.Lerner Out!246
6.Fulford226
7.glensider205
8.JuanPabloAngel182
9.DeanoVilla152
10.Thomas Holte144
The Vital Football Members League