Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room Before Fulham

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room Before Fulham

*We join the lads preparing for the match against Fulham. Gabby is jubilant, stood on his chair whilst pelvic thrusting wildly in random directions. N'Zogbia is doing a celebratory russian dance (you know the one where you squat and kick and stuff? ... That one)*

Albrighton: Wow, you guys are happy ... What's happened?

Gabby: Haven't you been reading the papers!? HURGH!! Oh Yeah!

*Albrighton shields his eyes*

Albrighton: Can you not do that AT me?

Gabby: Oh ... Yeah, sorry.

Albrighton: Papers?

Gabby: Yeah, the big news! Attacking football is coming back to Villa baby!

N'Zogbia: C'est magnifique!

*Albrighton looks nervous*

Albrighton: Gabby, 'sssh!', you know the boss doesn't let us say that word in...

Gabby: Attacking!

N'Zogbia: Attacking!

*Gabby and N'Zogbia dance around in a circle arm in arm repeating the word. Albrighton is now scared and confused*

Albrighton: What is going on guys!?

Gabby: McLeish, he's gone.

Albrighton: Huh!? Seriously?

Gabby: Yeah! It's been everywhere! How have you missed it?

N'Zogbia: Oui, Gabriel assures me zis is so.

*Albrighton looks at Gabby sceptically, Gabby reaches into the front of his shorts and pulls out a newspaper cutting, Albrighton wrinkles his nose in disgust*

Gabby: See! Check it out!

*Albrighton leans in to read the headline Gabby points at*

Albrighton: 'Villa Boas Sacked!'? What's that got to do with us?

Gabby: No, it says BOSS not 'Boas' loo....

*Gabby turns the page back to himself*

Gabby: Crap! ... I mean I did wonder why the picture was of AVB but...

N'Zogbia: Mon Dieu! Gabriel! You told me zat Alex was dead!

Gabby (rubbing the back of his neck): Yeah.... Well, um .... I guess it must have been lost in translation.

N'Zogbia: What!? You told zis to me in english!

Gabby: Yeah ... um.... Anyway we've got some cleaning up to do.

*Gabby points to the obvious remnants of a party which also includes a well beaten blow-up doll wearing a 'Mcleish' paper mask in the corner which has 'defending stinks!' written in marker on the forehead.

lbrighton: Wow. You guys really hate defending.

*Gabby and N'Zogbia are frantically tidying up*

Gabby: Don't just stand there! Grab a broom Marc or at least let Emile out of that locker!

*One of the lockers rumbles ominously*

Date:Friday March 9 2012
Time: 2:00PM


Best one yet!
09/03/2012 14:03:00
"remnants of a party which also includes a well beaten blow-up doll wearing a 'Mcleish' paper mask in the corner which has 'defending stinks!' written in marker on the forehead" this had me literally laughing out loud for 2 mins flat. Brilliant Hercs, brilliant
09/03/2012 14:31:00
LOL Love it ... especially Heskey in the locker ..... PLEASE dont let him out
09/03/2012 15:38:00
Excellent Hercs. And yes, attacking football IS returning to Villa Park - Fulham are the visitors...........
Pride of Lions
09/03/2012 16:28:00
The only bright spot of the season. Keep it up.
09/03/2012 17:07:00
Really funny, thank you Hercs for some joy. Fantastic.
Bangkok Villan
09/03/2012 22:21:00
One of your finest, Hercs - thanks mate!
10/03/2012 12:09:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment


Recent Aston Villa Articles

We Deserved A Point - Garde

Manager Remi Garde has said he felt the performance in the game against Watford today should've returned a point for Aston Villa.

Audio - Garde Pleased With Performance

Manager Remi Garde has said he was pleased with the performance Aston Villa put in during today's three two loss to Watford, but he knows a point should've been taken.

Stats: Aston Villa v Watford

All the stats from Aston Villa (2) vs (3) Watford, Villa Park, 28/11/15 Att: 35,057

Villa v Watford - Teamsheets!

Aston Villa are at Villa Park with Watford the visitors for the latest league match. This is a 3pm kick-off and the line ups have been confirmed.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Mike Field
Steve Wade
Turkish Penguin
Chris Heath
M Calucar
JuanPablo Angel

Current Poll (see more polls)

Watford MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Sub - Traore25%
Sub - Gestede0%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Man City 14 9 2 3 29 16
2 Leicester City 14 8 5 1 29 8
3 Man Utd 14 8 4 2 28 10
4 Arsenal 13 8 2 3 26 12
5 Spurs 13 6 6 1 24 13
6 Crystal Palace 14 7 1 6 22 5
7 Everton 14 5 6 3 21 8
8 West Ham 13 6 3 4 21 4
9 Southampton 14 5 5 4 20 3
10 Liverpool 13 5 5 3 20 2
11 Watford 14 5 4 5 19 -1
12 Stoke 14 5 4 5 19 -3
13 WBA 13 5 2 6 17 -5
14 Swansea 13 3 5 5 14 -4
15 Chelsea 13 4 2 7 14 -6
16 Norwich 13 3 3 7 12 -8
17 Sunderland 14 3 3 8 12 -10
18 AFC Bournemouth 14 2 4 8 10 -13
19 Newcastle 14 2 4 8 10 -16
20 Aston Villa 14 1 2 11 5 -15
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Blog: Abu Dhabi Qualifying
Latest Vital Boxing News
DeGale Looking for Unification Bouts
Write for Vital Football

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Dec 5 2015 3:00PM : Southampton (a)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 13 2015 1:30PM : Arsenal (H)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 19 2015 5:30PM : Newcastle United (a)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 26 2015 3:00PM : West Ham United (H)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 28 2015 3:00PM : Norwich City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Jan 2 2016 3:00PM : Sunderland (a)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

1.Pride of Lions1096
2.The Fear626
The Vital Football Members League