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'If It's Football, It's Vital'

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room Before Fulham

*We join the lads preparing for the match against Fulham. Gabby is jubilant, stood on his chair whilst pelvic thrusting wildly in random directions. N'Zogbia is doing a celebratory russian dance (you know the one where you squat and kick and stuff? ... That one)*

Albrighton: Wow, you guys are happy ... What's happened?

Gabby: Haven't you been reading the papers!? HURGH!! Oh Yeah!

*Albrighton shields his eyes*

Albrighton: Can you not do that AT me?

Gabby: Oh ... Yeah, sorry.

Albrighton: Papers?

Gabby: Yeah, the big news! Attacking football is coming back to Villa baby!

N'Zogbia: C'est magnifique!

*Albrighton looks nervous*

Albrighton: Gabby, 'sssh!', you know the boss doesn't let us say that word in...

Gabby: Attacking!

N'Zogbia: Attacking!

*Gabby and N'Zogbia dance around in a circle arm in arm repeating the word. Albrighton is now scared and confused*

Albrighton: What is going on guys!?

Gabby: McLeish, he's gone.

Albrighton: Huh!? Seriously?

Gabby: Yeah! It's been everywhere! How have you missed it?

N'Zogbia: Oui, Gabriel assures me zis is so.

*Albrighton looks at Gabby sceptically, Gabby reaches into the front of his shorts and pulls out a newspaper cutting, Albrighton wrinkles his nose in disgust*

Gabby: See! Check it out!

*Albrighton leans in to read the headline Gabby points at*

Albrighton: 'Villa Boas Sacked!'? What's that got to do with us?

Gabby: No, it says BOSS not 'Boas' loo....

*Gabby turns the page back to himself*

Gabby: Crap! ... I mean I did wonder why the picture was of AVB but...

N'Zogbia: Mon Dieu! Gabriel! You told me zat Alex was dead!

Gabby (rubbing the back of his neck): Yeah.... Well, um .... I guess it must have been lost in translation.

N'Zogbia: What!? You told zis to me in english!

Gabby: Yeah ... um.... Anyway we've got some cleaning up to do.

*Gabby points to the obvious remnants of a party which also includes a well beaten blow-up doll wearing a 'Mcleish' paper mask in the corner which has 'defending stinks!' written in marker on the forehead.



lbrighton: Wow. You guys really hate defending.

*Gabby and N'Zogbia are frantically tidying up*

Gabby: Don't just stand there! Grab a broom Marc or at least let Emile out of that locker!

*One of the lockers rumbles ominously*




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday March 9 2012

Time: 2:00PM

Your Comments

Best one yet!
avfcsimmsy
"remnants of a party which also includes a well beaten blow-up doll wearing a 'Mcleish' paper mask in the corner which has 'defending stinks!' written in marker on the forehead" this had me literally laughing out loud for 2 mins flat. Brilliant Hercs, brilliant
Jongekki
LOL Love it ... especially Heskey in the locker ..... PLEASE dont let him out
tvrwhitey
Excellent Hercs. And yes, attacking football IS returning to Villa Park - Fulham are the visitors...........
Pride of Lions
The only bright spot of the season. Keep it up.
villa@herts
Really funny, thank you Hercs for some joy. Fantastic.
Bangkok Villan
One of your finest, Hercs - thanks mate!
revolutionatlast
 

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