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@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room Before Fulham

*We join the lads preparing for the match against Fulham. Gabby is jubilant, stood on his chair whilst pelvic thrusting wildly in random directions. N'Zogbia is doing a celebratory russian dance (you know the one where you squat and kick and stuff? ... That one)*

Albrighton: Wow, you guys are happy ... What's happened?

Gabby: Haven't you been reading the papers!? HURGH!! Oh Yeah!

*Albrighton shields his eyes*

Albrighton: Can you not do that AT me?

Gabby: Oh ... Yeah, sorry.

Albrighton: Papers?

Gabby: Yeah, the big news! Attacking football is coming back to Villa baby!

N'Zogbia: C'est magnifique!

*Albrighton looks nervous*

Albrighton: Gabby, 'sssh!', you know the boss doesn't let us say that word in...

Gabby: Attacking!

N'Zogbia: Attacking!

*Gabby and N'Zogbia dance around in a circle arm in arm repeating the word. Albrighton is now scared and confused*

Albrighton: What is going on guys!?

Gabby: McLeish, he's gone.

Albrighton: Huh!? Seriously?

Gabby: Yeah! It's been everywhere! How have you missed it?

N'Zogbia: Oui, Gabriel assures me zis is so.

*Albrighton looks at Gabby sceptically, Gabby reaches into the front of his shorts and pulls out a newspaper cutting, Albrighton wrinkles his nose in disgust*

Gabby: See! Check it out!

*Albrighton leans in to read the headline Gabby points at*

Albrighton: 'Villa Boas Sacked!'? What's that got to do with us?

Gabby: No, it says BOSS not 'Boas' loo....

*Gabby turns the page back to himself*

Gabby: Crap! ... I mean I did wonder why the picture was of AVB but...

N'Zogbia: Mon Dieu! Gabriel! You told me zat Alex was dead!

Gabby (rubbing the back of his neck): Yeah.... Well, um .... I guess it must have been lost in translation.

N'Zogbia: What!? You told zis to me in english!

Gabby: Yeah ... um.... Anyway we've got some cleaning up to do.

*Gabby points to the obvious remnants of a party which also includes a well beaten blow-up doll wearing a 'Mcleish' paper mask in the corner which has 'defending stinks!' written in marker on the forehead.



lbrighton: Wow. You guys really hate defending.

*Gabby and N'Zogbia are frantically tidying up*

Gabby: Don't just stand there! Grab a broom Marc or at least let Emile out of that locker!

*One of the lockers rumbles ominously*




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday March 9 2012

Time: 2:00PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

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Best one yet!
avfcsimmsy
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09/03/2012 14:03:00

"remnants of a party which also includes a well beaten blow-up doll wearing a 'Mcleish' paper mask in the corner which has 'defending stinks!' written in marker on the forehead" this had me literally laughing out loud for 2 mins flat. Brilliant Hercs, brilliant
Jongekki
Report Abuse
09/03/2012 14:31:00

LOL Love it ... especially Heskey in the locker ..... PLEASE dont let him out
tvrwhitey
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09/03/2012 15:38:00

Excellent Hercs. And yes, attacking football IS returning to Villa Park - Fulham are the visitors...........
Pride of Lions
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09/03/2012 16:28:00

The only bright spot of the season. Keep it up.
villa@herts
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09/03/2012 17:07:00

Really funny, thank you Hercs for some joy. Fantastic.
Bangkok Villan
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09/03/2012 22:21:00

One of your finest, Hercs - thanks mate!
revolutionatlast
Report Abuse
10/03/2012 12:09:00

 

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