Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room HT at Blackburn

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room HT at Blackburn

*It's half-time at the Blackburn Villa match, we join a pair of Venky's executives strolling through the halls of Ewood Park.*

Venky #1: This performance is enough to put me off my chicken.

Venky #2: Surely not Venky number vone, you love your chicken.

Venky #1: I do number two, this is going to show how very much I am not enjoying 'Venky's Blackburn Football Club!''s performance today.

Venky #2: Must you always shout it like that? It is most disconcerting.

Venky #1: Yes. I must.

*The guy's conversation halts as they hear all manner of yelling, bawling and objects being launched against a dressing room wall*

Venky #2: Ahh! It sounds as though Mr.Kean is finally earning his drumsticks! Let us go and congratulate him.

*the Venky's executives make their way to the home dressing room, they burst through the door. Kean raises his head from the book he is reading and lowers his reading glasses, realising it is 'Venky's' he immediately adopts a gracious if not grovelling pose and approaches them with haste.*

Venky #1: Mr.Kean, we were hearing you tell off these terrible Blackburn players....

Venky #2: ...Yes, and even though it is not what we told you to do, we are very happy you did so.

Venky #1: Here..

*the Veny's Executive pours some chicken feed from a box into the plam of his hand, Kean immediately pecks at the feed whilst flapping his arms in a happy, chicken-like manner*

Kean (with a mouth full of feed): Why thank you bosses, um but I've nae told off tha' lads.

*The Venky's executives pause to survey dressing room, Johann Pachelbel's 'Canon in D Major' is playing as the Blackburn players are serenely engaging in leisurely pursuits such as card games and billiards, all quite content with life*

Venky #2: Vhat is this!?

Venky #1: Ve heard you Mr.Kean, your unitelligible brand of English is unmistakeable.

Kean: Oh, you mean tha' shoutin' an' hootin'? Tha' was from tha' other dressing room, Big Eck.

Venky #1: Vhat!? Give me back the feed Mr.Kean sir!

Kean: But.... I've swallowed it....

*Kean is trying to make himself regurgitate.*

Venky #2: No.... NO! You keep it! Number Vone let us check the other dressing room.

*Venky's executives peep through the Villa dressing room door which is a tad ajar*

McLeish: What did I tell you!? WHAT!? I give you one simple task, defend! And ye cannae even get that right. Charlie! Sweet Jesus, Mary, Joseph and little donkey what're you doing hitting the ball when it's in the air at the goal like tha'!?

NZogbia: Um.... Ma volley boss?

McLeish: 'Volley' is tha' it!? Well maybe in France they 'volley' with all their la-dee-das and ooh-la-la's! But here this is tha' premier league not la liga!

*Albrighton raises his hand apprehensively*

Albrighton: Um....That's spanish boss.

McLeish: Same thing! From now on volleys are for Tennis! Alrigh'!?

*The lads all drop their heads and robotically reply*

All the lads: Yes boss.

*the Venky's executives look at one another and head back to their box.*

Venky #1: Wow, he really as they say 'tore stips from them' didn't he?

Venky #2: Chicken strips?

Venky #1: Yes! I hunger once more.



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday March 5 2012
Time: 2:43PM

Best of Vital Network

-

Comments

0
LOL. Quality from start to finish.
Villan444
05/03/2012 14:50:00
0
Made me smile in these depressing days.......
Pride of Lions
05/03/2012 15:17:00
0
CLASS, i can just see him doing it as well .
andy3221
05/03/2012 15:23:00
0
Really enjoyed this Hercs, well done :)
Mikey Delap
05/03/2012 16:01:00
0
NZogbia: Um.... Ma volley boss? McLeish: 'Volley' is tha' it!? Well maybe in France they 'volley' with all their la-dee-das and ooh-la-la's! But here this is tha' premier league not la liga! Classic , brilliant but tooooooooooooooo truuuuuuuuuuuue
distefano
05/03/2012 19:20:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Something For The Weekend (542)

Progressing a point at a time and a new player at a time..

Aston Villa Defender Cardiff City Bound...

Joe Bennett on his way to that there Wales.

Chris Samuelson A Goner. Or A Never Was?!??!

A little bit of confusion over the role that Chris Samuelson did or didn`t play at Aston Villa and/or Recon Group.

Match Day Officials v Bristol City (27/8/16)

The Football League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game against Bristol City this Saturday.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Aston Villa v Bristol City (away) will:
Suggested By: Mystic Mug
Win71%
Lose8%
Draw21%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Huddersfield 4 3 1 0 10 3
2 Brighton 4 2 2 0 8 6
3 Wolves 4 2 2 0 8 4
4 Norwich 4 2 2 0 8 4
5 Fulham 4 2 2 0 8 2
6 Q.P.R. 4 2 0 2 6 2
7 Newcastle 4 2 0 2 6 2
8 Brentford 4 2 0 2 6 1
9 Barnsley 4 2 0 2 6 0
10 Bristol City 4 2 0 2 6 0
11 Forest 4 2 0 2 6 -2
12 Aston Villa 4 1 2 1 5 2
13 Ipswich 4 1 2 1 5 0
14 Birmingham 4 1 2 1 5 -1
15 Cardiff 4 1 2 1 5 -1
16 Derby County 4 1 2 1 5 -1
17 Wigan 4 1 1 2 4 1
18 Burton 4 1 1 2 4 0
19 Leeds Utd 4 1 1 2 4 -2
20 Sheff Wed 4 1 1 2 4 -3
21 Reading 4 1 1 2 4 -4
22 Rotherham 4 1 1 2 4 -5
23 Preston 4 1 0 3 3 -1
24 Blackburn 4 0 1 3 1 -7
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
2016 Belgian Grand Prix - FP2
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear639
2.glensider604
3.Fulford388
4.Silhillvilla228
5.sirdennis199
6.kefkat170
7.DeanoVilla164
8.Barney2004156
9.Melon Donkey156
10.villasince67154
Write for Vital Football