Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room

@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room

*We join the lads preparing for their match against against Blackburn*

McLeish: Now lads, as you've heard many, many fans have been shouting that I need backing....

Albrighton: Um.... I don't think they're saying you need 'backing' boss I think....

McLeish: AHEM! ... As I was saying, it's time ye lads got behind me and play the way ye want me te play. Now Blackburn are nae doing to well so we'll focus on defending against them.

Gabby: Um ... Boss, do you think maybe we could attack against them? I used to like scoring goals and...

McLeish: Scoring goals!? Goals don't earn you draws Gabriel..

Albrighton: Well technically you could earn a...

McLeish: You know what I meant! Look, did yez see Spurs last week?

*the lads all nod*

McLeish: They go out there, all 'fancy dan' and 'Johnny Forward pass'

*the lads look at each other*

McLeish: ...They score some goals, then what happened?....... Well? Tha' was a question!

*N'Zogbia gingerly raises his hand*

N'Zogbia: Um.... Zey lost boss?

McLeish: Aye! They lost. Now I don't mind a boring loss, but an exciting loss!? No. Defence is the best defence is what I say.

Gabby: Isn't it 'attack is the....'

McLeish: No attacking! Now to ensure none of you try and score goals, Emile, you'll be replacing Bent up front.

*the lads all groan*

Heskey: Yes boss!

McLeish: Squander everything, run it to the corner from the off, trip over the ball if needs be.

Heskey: That won't be a problem boss.

McLeish: I know Emile, I know. Now let's go out there and defend!

*Heskey alone stands, he pumps his fist in the air*

Heskey: YEAAAH!!! Come on guys! .... Guys?

*the lads are all angrily staring and sneering at Heskey. Gabby and Albrighton are whispering to each other*

Gabby: Pssst ... I'm gonna try and score goals.

Albrighton: ... Me too.... If I can get past Emile.

*they nod at each other*



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday March 2 2012
Time: 12:52PM

Comments

0
Brilliant - as always!
McGrath4Pope
02/03/2012 13:00:00
0
top one hercs, yet cannot give it a full broken ribs treatment as part of me thinks thats not far from the truth .... lol
badge73
02/03/2012 13:04:00
0
ROFL.... brilliant, really close to the truth probably too lolol. Wonder if any of the players read these? ;) We should put Heskers in central defense. With him in the box no goals will go in...
thorpyuk
02/03/2012 13:12:00
0
don't know how you keep thinking these up! ace!
The Fear
02/03/2012 14:28:00
0
"that wont be a problem boss" - brilliant, Hercs!
KevJoyBoy
02/03/2012 14:36:00
0
lol hercs excellent as always
Merlin128777
02/03/2012 16:14:00
0
'Johnny Forward pass' - loved it, hoe could we draw if we did such a thing.
Winsforvilla
02/03/2012 16:17:00
0
Quality once again Hercs......
Pride of Lions
02/03/2012 17:40:00
0
Quality once again Hercs......
Pride of Lions
02/03/2012 17:40:00
0
Genius and too true. Lol.
Villan444
02/03/2012 18:32:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Bruce Isn't The Only One To Be Angry At Lack Of Basics

Steve Bruce is taking the team back to basics in training this week. Disgraceful they should have to be told isn't it?

The Latest Aston Villa Transfer Talk. Anyone Coming?

The latest round up of transfer talk for Aston Villa. Less talk and more players on the pitch would be nice !

Player Leaves Villa - If Only They Arrived As Quickly

Another player departing, this time Aly out on loan. If only we got players IN as quickly.

The Villa Times - 16/01/2017 (Aston Villa News Round-up)

The latest news and views on Aston Villa via the uno fish ial one...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Play offs?
Suggested By: JP Fear
No chance71%
Yes2%
Still depends on signings27%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 26 18 1 7 55 29
2 Brighton 25 16 6 3 54 23
3 Leeds Utd 26 15 3 8 48 11
4 Reading 25 14 4 7 46 3
5 Huddersfield 26 14 4 8 46 0
6 Sheff Wed 26 13 6 7 45 6
7 Derby County 26 11 7 8 40 5
8 Fulham 25 10 9 6 39 13
9 Preston 26 11 6 9 39 3
10 Barnsley 26 11 5 10 38 4
11 Norwich 26 11 4 11 37 3
12 Birmingham 26 9 9 8 36 -5
13 Aston Villa 26 8 11 7 35 1
14 Ipswich 26 9 7 10 34 -3
15 Brentford 26 9 6 11 33 0
16 Wolves 26 8 8 10 32 -1
17 Q.P.R. 26 9 5 12 32 -11
18 Cardiff 25 8 6 11 30 -10
19 Bristol City 26 8 3 15 27 -3
20 Forest 26 7 6 13 27 -8
21 Burton 26 6 7 13 25 -10
22 Blackburn 26 6 6 14 24 -12
23 Wigan 26 5 7 14 22 -9
24 Rotherham 26 4 4 18 16 -29
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Bottas announcement expected
Latest Vital Boxing News
Jack Re-Match for DeGale at Light-Heavyweight?
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Jan 21 2017 3:00PM : Preston North End (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 28 2017 3:00PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 31 2017 7:45PM : Brentford (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 4 2017 5:30PM : Nottingham Forest (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 11 2017 3:00PM : Ipswich Town (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 14 2017 7:45PM : Barnsley (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear411
2.JuanPabloAngel280
3.Silhillvilla244
4.sirdennis205
5.Fulford201
6.Villan57173
7.Melon Donkey127
8.BodyButter100
9.danvilla294
10.villasince6789
Vital Football Comment