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@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room

*We join the lads preparing for their match against against Blackburn*

McLeish: Now lads, as you've heard many, many fans have been shouting that I need backing....

Albrighton: Um.... I don't think they're saying you need 'backing' boss I think....

McLeish: AHEM! ... As I was saying, it's time ye lads got behind me and play the way ye want me te play. Now Blackburn are nae doing to well so we'll focus on defending against them.

Gabby: Um ... Boss, do you think maybe we could attack against them? I used to like scoring goals and...

McLeish: Scoring goals!? Goals don't earn you draws Gabriel..

Albrighton: Well technically you could earn a...

McLeish: You know what I meant! Look, did yez see Spurs last week?

*the lads all nod*

McLeish: They go out there, all 'fancy dan' and 'Johnny Forward pass'

*the lads look at each other*

McLeish: ...They score some goals, then what happened?....... Well? Tha' was a question!

*N'Zogbia gingerly raises his hand*

N'Zogbia: Um.... Zey lost boss?

McLeish: Aye! They lost. Now I don't mind a boring loss, but an exciting loss!? No. Defence is the best defence is what I say.

Gabby: Isn't it 'attack is the....'

McLeish: No attacking! Now to ensure none of you try and score goals, Emile, you'll be replacing Bent up front.

*the lads all groan*

Heskey: Yes boss!

McLeish: Squander everything, run it to the corner from the off, trip over the ball if needs be.

Heskey: That won't be a problem boss.

McLeish: I know Emile, I know. Now let's go out there and defend!

*Heskey alone stands, he pumps his fist in the air*

Heskey: YEAAAH!!! Come on guys! .... Guys?

*the lads are all angrily staring and sneering at Heskey. Gabby and Albrighton are whispering to each other*

Gabby: Pssst ... I'm gonna try and score goals.

Albrighton: ... Me too.... If I can get past Emile.

*they nod at each other*




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday March 2 2012

Time: 12:52PM

Your Comments

Brilliant - as always!
McGrath4Pope
top one hercs, yet cannot give it a full broken ribs treatment as part of me thinks thats not far from the truth .... lol
badge73
ROFL.... brilliant, really close to the truth probably too lolol. Wonder if any of the players read these? ;) We should put Heskers in central defense. With him in the box no goals will go in...
thorpyuk
don't know how you keep thinking these up! ace!
The Fear
"that wont be a problem boss" - brilliant, Hercs!
KevJoyBoy
lol hercs excellent as always
Merlin128777
'Johnny Forward pass' - loved it, hoe could we draw if we did such a thing.
Winsforvilla
Quality once again Hercs......
Pride of Lions
Quality once again Hercs......
Pride of Lions
Genius and too true. Lol.
Villan444
I fancy Albrighton to ping a goal in off an unlucky Heskey.
Hercs
 

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