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@VillasHerc in the Dressing Room

*We join the lads preparing for their match against against Blackburn*

McLeish: Now lads, as you've heard many, many fans have been shouting that I need backing....

Albrighton: Um.... I don't think they're saying you need 'backing' boss I think....

McLeish: AHEM! ... As I was saying, it's time ye lads got behind me and play the way ye want me te play. Now Blackburn are nae doing to well so we'll focus on defending against them.

Gabby: Um ... Boss, do you think maybe we could attack against them? I used to like scoring goals and...

McLeish: Scoring goals!? Goals don't earn you draws Gabriel..

Albrighton: Well technically you could earn a...

McLeish: You know what I meant! Look, did yez see Spurs last week?

*the lads all nod*

McLeish: They go out there, all 'fancy dan' and 'Johnny Forward pass'

*the lads look at each other*

McLeish: ...They score some goals, then what happened?....... Well? Tha' was a question!

*N'Zogbia gingerly raises his hand*

N'Zogbia: Um.... Zey lost boss?

McLeish: Aye! They lost. Now I don't mind a boring loss, but an exciting loss!? No. Defence is the best defence is what I say.

Gabby: Isn't it 'attack is the....'

McLeish: No attacking! Now to ensure none of you try and score goals, Emile, you'll be replacing Bent up front.

*the lads all groan*

Heskey: Yes boss!

McLeish: Squander everything, run it to the corner from the off, trip over the ball if needs be.

Heskey: That won't be a problem boss.

McLeish: I know Emile, I know. Now let's go out there and defend!

*Heskey alone stands, he pumps his fist in the air*

Heskey: YEAAAH!!! Come on guys! .... Guys?

*the lads are all angrily staring and sneering at Heskey. Gabby and Albrighton are whispering to each other*

Gabby: Pssst ... I'm gonna try and score goals.

Albrighton: ... Me too.... If I can get past Emile.

*they nod at each other*




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday March 2 2012

Time: 12:52PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

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Brilliant - as always!
McGrath4Pope
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02/03/2012 13:00:00

top one hercs, yet cannot give it a full broken ribs treatment as part of me thinks thats not far from the truth .... lol
badge73
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02/03/2012 13:04:00

ROFL.... brilliant, really close to the truth probably too lolol. Wonder if any of the players read these? ;) We should put Heskers in central defense. With him in the box no goals will go in...
thorpyuk
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02/03/2012 13:12:00

don't know how you keep thinking these up! ace!
The Fear
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02/03/2012 14:28:00

"that wont be a problem boss" - brilliant, Hercs!
KevJoyBoy
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02/03/2012 14:36:00

lol hercs excellent as always
Merlin128777
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02/03/2012 16:14:00

'Johnny Forward pass' - loved it, hoe could we draw if we did such a thing.
Winsforvilla
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02/03/2012 16:17:00

Quality once again Hercs......
Pride of Lions
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02/03/2012 17:40:00

Quality once again Hercs......
Pride of Lions
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02/03/2012 17:40:00

Genius and too true. Lol.
Villan444
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02/03/2012 18:32:00

I fancy Albrighton to ping a goal in off an unlucky Heskey.
Hercs
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03/03/2012 00:05:00

 

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