Pires Explains Happy Harry Spat
Well according to Talksport Robert Pires and Harry Redknapp's little set to yesterday was because Pires doesn't like the ice.
Seriously I'm not making this up, according to Wally the touchline spat can be explained by comments in the French newspaper L'Equipe, wherein Pires says:
'When you play a game on 26 December most other players in the big leagues are on holidays in the sun and it annoys me. I receive text messages with photos of them lying on beaches and it aggravates me a little, but it is necessary as I must help Villa get away from the relegation zone.'
Assuming you've just read the link, I told you I wasn't making it up.
Admittedly I might still be hung over from yesterday, and I doubt I'm the only one, but quite how the bust up between Pires and Redknapp which was related to Pires going to ground can have anything to do with these quotes must take somebody far wiser in the art of 2+2=69 than I'll ever be capable of.
Now Pires' comments will have be judged by their timing and their context as covered earlier on Vital Villa so for these purposes I have no interest in them.
But coming so swiftly after my last media rant concerning the General, The Star and Sky where they clearly showed anything will be written to create a story, I am actually bemused that an outlet who you'd expect aren't too happy with their 'fan given' nickname and would prefer to be known as 'Talksport' would physically put into writing a piece like this.
'Robert Pires' touchline spat with Harry Redknapp on Sunday could be explained by the Frenchman's latest comments...The Aston Villa midfielder appeared to have a row with the Spurs boss...and his rage could be explained by not wanting to play in the icy conditions.'
Talksport then offer the quotes as given above as proof of the link between the two events.
Now to their credit they don't then go so far as to say Martin Atkinson 'appeared' to be so card happy because somebody had gifted him a pair of red socks on Christmas Day and he doesn't like red socks or that Gomes was in such fine form because before the match he tanked up on Red Bull (it gives you wings you know) so clearly they are capable of not just inventing things to fill the odd internet page.
Maybe it was just a weak moment given their usual degree of high quality reporting, or maybe it was misfiled and should've gone out on air as opposed to print, in the hope of garnering a few more telephone calls.
Sadly we'll never know, but at least it shows even the best can occasionally take more liberty with 'journalistic licence' than MP's manage with their expenses.
Now if you fine people of Vital Villa will excuse me I'm off to see a man about clearing some Wisteria before sitting down and finishing off an article I've been working on that proves conclusively it's Gerard Houllier's French accent that is the cause of all our injuries and results lately.
I don't mind telling you but I'm seriously proud of the part where I demonstrate with the help of some totally out of context quotes how Houllier was also to blame for our form nosediving in March in previous seasons.
You couldn't make it up, genuinely!
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