Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in the Dressing Room After the Baggies

Hercs in the Dressing Room After the Baggies

*We join the lads celebrating their win over the Baggies*

Downing: Well ... Another goal for mey like. Does everyone love mey yet?

A.Young: Who are you again?

Downing: It's me.... You know.... Stewart?

*The lads all look at him with confusion*

Collins: .... Ireland?

Downing: ....Downing!

Collins: No pints for me thanks. I'm still in trouble from last time...

Downing: Noor man, not Downing pints, Stewart Downing.

A.Young: It's Ashley and no I'm not going to the pub with you either.

Downing: No I'm Stewart Downing! You know top scorer at the club? What do you have to do around here to win people over?......

*Smoke billows under the door*

Cuellar: Och Noo! A fire!

*Cuellar heroicly runs to the door to tackle the blaze, only to find a fog machine.*

Cuellar: What in tha'....?

A.Young: Can anyone else hear that?

*The faint sound of music can be heard approaching the misty entrance*

A.Young: Is that .... Mark Morrisson?

*The sound reaches deafening volume as Emile puts his stereo down and strides arrogantly into the dressing room clad in leather and sunglasses.*

Heskey: Return of the Mack (Once again!), return of the mack (top of the world!) return of the mack (watch my flow), you know that I'd be back, don't you know!?

A.Young: ... Jesus....

Heskey: Not quite young Ashley, it is I, *Heskey lowers his glasses peering over the lenses* Emile! Though you'd be forgiven for such an error as just like Jesus, I have returned to save you all.

Carew: Boss .... Boss! Emile is singing Mark Morrison's 'Return of the Mack' and gyrating in my face!

Houllier: You would prefer 'Crazy'?

Carew: No....

Houllier: .... 'Horny'?

Carew: No! I would 'prefer' he didn't gyrate.

Houllier: Well John, maybe you score and you can gyrate huh?

Carew: No I don't want to gyrate I want him to STOP gyrating.

Heskey (Now with his hands behind his head): You can't stop the rock John!

Carew: What does that even mean!?



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday December 13 2010
Time: 12:43PM

Comments

0
Fantastic :-)
Valiant Villan™
13/12/2010 13:04:00
0
you can't stop the rock... let that be a warning to us all! lol
The Fear
13/12/2010 13:13:00
0
AMAZINGNESS Return of the Mack i can see it now in my head and i cant stop laughing.
Ted 369
13/12/2010 14:08:00
0
i knew u were gonna make something of the Heskey return........i just didnt know how :p
sonicdeathmonkey
13/12/2010 15:01:00
0
Hercs... can i please request one thing? keep doing this!!! you are often the only thing to make me smile after a poor game. Nice to read after a good result for a change. Excellant! UTV.
mauvaisgarcon
13/12/2010 19:00:00
0
"...as just like Jesus, I have returned to save you all" - Absolute quality, Hercs. Hilarious. I was cracking up reading this.
SuperTommyJohnson
14/12/2010 07:20:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Better De Laet Than Never For Aston Villa?!

It's official, Aston Villa have a new right back.

Hutton Gets Scotland Call

Aston Villa's Alan Hutton has been called up by Scotland manager Gordon Strachan for the coming international break.

Zaha Rumours Off The Mark

I'm not sure which tabloid thought this one up, or what they were on at the point, but Dr Tony Xia has rubbished speculation linking us with Crystal Palace's...

Bacuna Pleased With Derby Showing

Leandro Bacuna has been speaking about Saturday's goalless draw with Derby County at the iPro Stadium and he was pleased with the performance of the side.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Derby MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Gollini7%
Bacuna2%
Elphick41%
Chester5%
Cissokho2%
Ayew4%
Westwood3%
Gardner6%
Grealish22%
Gestede0%
McCormack7%
Sub - Kozak0%
Sub - Amavi0%
Sub - Green1%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Huddersfield 4 3 1 0 10 3
2 Brighton 4 2 2 0 8 6
3 Wolves 4 2 2 0 8 4
4 Norwich 4 2 2 0 8 4
5 Fulham 4 2 2 0 8 2
6 Q.P.R. 4 2 0 2 6 2
7 Newcastle 4 2 0 2 6 2
8 Brentford 4 2 0 2 6 1
9 Barnsley 4 2 0 2 6 0
10 Bristol City 4 2 0 2 6 0
11 Forest 4 2 0 2 6 -2
12 Aston Villa 4 1 2 1 5 2
13 Ipswich 4 1 2 1 5 0
14 Birmingham 4 1 2 1 5 -1
15 Cardiff 4 1 2 1 5 -1
16 Derby County 4 1 2 1 5 -1
17 Wigan 4 1 1 2 4 1
18 Burton 4 1 1 2 4 0
19 Leeds Utd 4 1 1 2 4 -2
20 Sheff Wed 4 1 1 2 4 -3
21 Reading 4 1 1 2 4 -4
22 Rotherham 4 1 1 2 4 -5
23 Preston 4 1 0 3 3 -1
24 Blackburn 4 0 1 3 1 -7
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Drivers make tyre selections for Belgium
Latest Vital Boxing News
Buatsi Homes in On Olympic Gold
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.glensider557
2.The Fear544
3.Fulford357
4.Silhillvilla204
5.sirdennis167
6.kefkat158
7.Stephen Jay Hawkings147
8.Melon Donkey146
9.villasince67137
10.Barney2004127
Write for Vital Football