UK time is: 02:55:25
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in the Dressing Room After the Baggies

*We join the lads celebrating their win over the Baggies*

Downing: Well ... Another goal for mey like. Does everyone love mey yet?

A.Young: Who are you again?

Downing: It's me.... You know.... Stewart?

*The lads all look at him with confusion*

Collins: .... Ireland?

Downing: ....Downing!

Collins: No pints for me thanks. I'm still in trouble from last time...

Downing: Noor man, not Downing pints, Stewart Downing.

A.Young: It's Ashley and no I'm not going to the pub with you either.

Downing: No I'm Stewart Downing! You know top scorer at the club? What do you have to do around here to win people over?......

*Smoke billows under the door*

Cuellar: Och Noo! A fire!

*Cuellar heroicly runs to the door to tackle the blaze, only to find a fog machine.*

Cuellar: What in tha'....?

A.Young: Can anyone else hear that?

*The faint sound of music can be heard approaching the misty entrance*

A.Young: Is that .... Mark Morrisson?

*The sound reaches deafening volume as Emile puts his stereo down and strides arrogantly into the dressing room clad in leather and sunglasses.*

Heskey: Return of the Mack (Once again!), return of the mack (top of the world!) return of the mack (watch my flow), you know that I'd be back, don't you know!?

A.Young: ... Jesus....

Heskey: Not quite young Ashley, it is I, *Heskey lowers his glasses peering over the lenses* Emile! Though you'd be forgiven for such an error as just like Jesus, I have returned to save you all.

Carew: Boss .... Boss! Emile is singing Mark Morrison's 'Return of the Mack' and gyrating in my face!

Houllier: You would prefer 'Crazy'?

Carew: No....

Houllier: .... 'Horny'?

Carew: No! I would 'prefer' he didn't gyrate.

Houllier: Well John, maybe you score and you can gyrate huh?

Carew: No I don't want to gyrate I want him to STOP gyrating.

Heskey (Now with his hands behind his head): You can't stop the rock John!

Carew: What does that even mean!?




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday December 13 2010

Time: 12:43PM

Your Comments

Fantastic :-)
Valiant Villan™
you can't stop the rock... let that be a warning to us all! lol
The Fear
AMAZINGNESS Return of the Mack i can see it now in my head and i cant stop laughing.
Ted 369
i knew u were gonna make something of the Heskey return........i just didnt know how :p
sonicdeathmonkey
Hercs... can i please request one thing? keep doing this!!! you are often the only thing to make me smile after a poor game. Nice to read after a good result for a change. Excellant! UTV.
mauvaisgarcon
"...as just like Jesus, I have returned to save you all" - Absolute quality, Hercs. Hilarious. I was cracking up reading this.
SuperTommyJohnson
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Something For The Weekend (466) (Friday September 19 2014)

Lambert - We Have To Build On This (Friday September 19 2014)

Loan Spell Will Do Robinson Good (Friday September 19 2014)

Lawro Tips Arsenal For Victory (Friday September 19 2014)

Lambert - Ron Remains A Doubt (Thursday September 18 2014)

Guzan - Villa Park Will Be Rocking (Thursday September 18 2014)

Lambert Speaks Following Contract Extension (Wednesday September 17 2014)

Paul Lambert Extends Villa Stay (Wednesday September 17 2014)

Robinson Loaned To Preston (Tuesday September 16 2014)

Hutton - I Want To Take This Opportunity (Tuesday September 16 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. ClivetheVillan 526
2. Pride of Lions 511
3. The Fear 462
4. mike_field 240
5. Villan Of The North 221
6. kefkat 214
7. DeanoVilla 205
8. sirdennis 172
9. lewis1980 137
10. Juan Mourep 121

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Chelsea 4 4 0 0 +9 12
2. Aston Villa 4 3 1 0 +3 10
3. Swansea 4 3 0 1 +3 9
4. Southampton 4 2 1 1 +5 7
5. Man City 4 2 1 1 +3 7
6. Spurs 4 2 1 1 +2 7
7. Arsenal 4 1 3 0 +1 6

Breaking League News

We Need To Manage Games Better
» Swansea : 19/09/2014 20:26:00
Liverpool: Lawro Predicts 2014-15 - West Ham (A)
» Liverpool : 19/09/2014 18:33:00
El Cashico - Manchester City vs Chelsea
» Chelsea : 19/09/2014 18:23:00
One to Watch - Mame Biram Diouf
» Q.P.R. : 19/09/2014 18:09:00
Give Chelsea No Quarter
» Man City : 19/09/2014 17:48:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v Arsenal (home) will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug's Stunt Double
Win 40%
Draw 33%
Lose 26%