Aston Villa - Hercs in the Dressing Room before the Baggies
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Hercs in the Dressing Room before the Baggies



We join the lads preparing to play the baggies*

Houllier: Bonjour everyone! Now I'll be looking for something a little 'ow you say 'different' in this match.

Pires: What? Like a win?

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

Houllier: Yes.

*The dressing room falls silent*

Houllier: Now we must not underestimate West Bromwich.

Pires: What? Aren't zey bankers?

Gabby: I'll say! I hate them I do, proper idi...

Houllier: 'E said 'bankers' Gabriel and no Robert, zat is a ze Building Society, zese are ze 'Albions'

Clark: Really!? Get in! I've never seen any in real life, are they fit? Will they all be kissing each other and that?

Houllier: Zey may kiss each other but I think zat you are mistaken Ciaran, I said Albions, not ...

Albrighton: Yeah Ciaran, Albions are the ones with the pink eyes and white hair and stuff. So boss will they be scared of the sunlight? I think that'll definitely play into our hands.

Houllier: No, no an Albion is none of zese things!

*the lads look at each other confused*

Clark: So..... What is an albion then....?

Houllier: It's a ...hmm... It's..... It doesn't matter what it is! Just go out and beat zem! Stephen, you understand as I want to win you cannot play.

Ireland: Aye bass.

Houllier: Now listen children, this isn't Liverpool we are playing here so I would prefer we win than zem OK? .... OK .... Now go out there and win!

Dunne: So ... Just to confirm bass, ya want us to win?

Houllier: Yes.

Dunne: Not play sloppy at the back and lose?

Houllier: No!

Dunne: Right ya are.

*Collins, Dunne, Warnock and Luke Young all scribble 'Win' and underline it on their notepads'

Houllier: Ah yes! One more thing Fabian is fit again everybody!

*the lads all applaud*

Delph: Thanks guys, thanks. Right how many yellow cards is it you're allowed again?

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

Delph: No, seriously .... It's five right?

A.Young: It's two and you're off.

Delph: Oh ... I'll have to re-evaluate my list then....

*Delph puts a line through three of a list of five players on a list on his pad, Young peers at the list.*

A.Young: 'Deaf list'? It's spelt d.e.a.T.H Fabian.

Delph: I'm not going to kill anyone Ashley!

A.Young: Oh, well that's a relief....

Delph: I was thinking I'd deafen them with their own screams of agony.

A.Young: O....K.




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday December 10 2010

Time: 11:29AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Beginning to suspect that Hercs has an ITK --- almost start to think these are closer to the truth than fiction......
victort
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10/12/2010 11:44:00

lol
Zarch
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10/12/2010 11:59:00

Beautiful again mate, thanks!
The Horses Mouth
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10/12/2010 12:00:00

Great stuff again, love it. Esp the bit where the defence write down 'win', class
Jongekki
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10/12/2010 12:18:00

i love the part of Stephen, you understand as I want to win you cannot play. we need a win so stephen cannot play LOVE IT
Ted 369
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10/12/2010 13:54:00

on another note when is delph back ?, also just heard that Gabby is out with a chest infection
Ted 369
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10/12/2010 14:34:00

Classic mate
Stourbridge Villan
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10/12/2010 14:50:00

Great stuff. hope for Heskey back wearing the mink coat soon
Pancho Villan
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10/12/2010 17:44:00

Another enjoyable read Hercs.
glensider
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10/12/2010 21:16:00

Great stuff. I thought 'Stephen' was gonna be Warnock being sent to Coventry again!!
SuperTommyJohnson
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11/12/2010 10:31:00

 

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