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'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in the Dressing Room before the Baggies



We join the lads preparing to play the baggies*

Houllier: Bonjour everyone! Now I'll be looking for something a little 'ow you say 'different' in this match.

Pires: What? Like a win?

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

Houllier: Yes.

*The dressing room falls silent*

Houllier: Now we must not underestimate West Bromwich.

Pires: What? Aren't zey bankers?

Gabby: I'll say! I hate them I do, proper idi...

Houllier: 'E said 'bankers' Gabriel and no Robert, zat is a ze Building Society, zese are ze 'Albions'

Clark: Really!? Get in! I've never seen any in real life, are they fit? Will they all be kissing each other and that?

Houllier: Zey may kiss each other but I think zat you are mistaken Ciaran, I said Albions, not ...

Albrighton: Yeah Ciaran, Albions are the ones with the pink eyes and white hair and stuff. So boss will they be scared of the sunlight? I think that'll definitely play into our hands.

Houllier: No, no an Albion is none of zese things!

*the lads look at each other confused*

Clark: So..... What is an albion then....?

Houllier: It's a ...hmm... It's..... It doesn't matter what it is! Just go out and beat zem! Stephen, you understand as I want to win you cannot play.

Ireland: Aye bass.

Houllier: Now listen children, this isn't Liverpool we are playing here so I would prefer we win than zem OK? .... OK .... Now go out there and win!

Dunne: So ... Just to confirm bass, ya want us to win?

Houllier: Yes.

Dunne: Not play sloppy at the back and lose?

Houllier: No!

Dunne: Right ya are.

*Collins, Dunne, Warnock and Luke Young all scribble 'Win' and underline it on their notepads'

Houllier: Ah yes! One more thing Fabian is fit again everybody!

*the lads all applaud*

Delph: Thanks guys, thanks. Right how many yellow cards is it you're allowed again?

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

Delph: No, seriously .... It's five right?

A.Young: It's two and you're off.

Delph: Oh ... I'll have to re-evaluate my list then....

*Delph puts a line through three of a list of five players on a list on his pad, Young peers at the list.*

A.Young: 'Deaf list'? It's spelt d.e.a.T.H Fabian.

Delph: I'm not going to kill anyone Ashley!

A.Young: Oh, well that's a relief....

Delph: I was thinking I'd deafen them with their own screams of agony.

A.Young: O....K.




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday December 10 2010

Time: 11:29AM

Your Comments

Beginning to suspect that Hercs has an ITK --- almost start to think these are closer to the truth than fiction......
victort
lol
Zarch
Beautiful again mate, thanks!
The Horses Mouth
Great stuff again, love it. Esp the bit where the defence write down 'win', class
Jongekki
i love the part of Stephen, you understand as I want to win you cannot play. we need a win so stephen cannot play LOVE IT
Ted 369
on another note when is delph back ?, also just heard that Gabby is out with a chest infection
Ted 369
Classic mate
Stourbridge Villan
Great stuff. hope for Heskey back wearing the mink coat soon
Pancho Villan
Another enjoyable read Hercs.
glensider
Great stuff. I thought 'Stephen' was gonna be Warnock being sent to Coventry again!!
SuperTommyJohnson
 

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