UK time is: 11:08:06
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in the Dressing Room before the Baggies



We join the lads preparing to play the baggies*

Houllier: Bonjour everyone! Now I'll be looking for something a little 'ow you say 'different' in this match.

Pires: What? Like a win?

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

Houllier: Yes.

*The dressing room falls silent*

Houllier: Now we must not underestimate West Bromwich.

Pires: What? Aren't zey bankers?

Gabby: I'll say! I hate them I do, proper idi...

Houllier: 'E said 'bankers' Gabriel and no Robert, zat is a ze Building Society, zese are ze 'Albions'

Clark: Really!? Get in! I've never seen any in real life, are they fit? Will they all be kissing each other and that?

Houllier: Zey may kiss each other but I think zat you are mistaken Ciaran, I said Albions, not ...

Albrighton: Yeah Ciaran, Albions are the ones with the pink eyes and white hair and stuff. So boss will they be scared of the sunlight? I think that'll definitely play into our hands.

Houllier: No, no an Albion is none of zese things!

*the lads look at each other confused*

Clark: So..... What is an albion then....?

Houllier: It's a ...hmm... It's..... It doesn't matter what it is! Just go out and beat zem! Stephen, you understand as I want to win you cannot play.

Ireland: Aye bass.

Houllier: Now listen children, this isn't Liverpool we are playing here so I would prefer we win than zem OK? .... OK .... Now go out there and win!

Dunne: So ... Just to confirm bass, ya want us to win?

Houllier: Yes.

Dunne: Not play sloppy at the back and lose?

Houllier: No!

Dunne: Right ya are.

*Collins, Dunne, Warnock and Luke Young all scribble 'Win' and underline it on their notepads'

Houllier: Ah yes! One more thing Fabian is fit again everybody!

*the lads all applaud*

Delph: Thanks guys, thanks. Right how many yellow cards is it you're allowed again?

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

Delph: No, seriously .... It's five right?

A.Young: It's two and you're off.

Delph: Oh ... I'll have to re-evaluate my list then....

*Delph puts a line through three of a list of five players on a list on his pad, Young peers at the list.*

A.Young: 'Deaf list'? It's spelt d.e.a.T.H Fabian.

Delph: I'm not going to kill anyone Ashley!

A.Young: Oh, well that's a relief....

Delph: I was thinking I'd deafen them with their own screams of agony.

A.Young: O....K.




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday December 10 2010

Time: 11:29AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Beginning to suspect that Hercs has an ITK --- almost start to think these are closer to the truth than fiction......
victort
Report Abuse
10/12/2010 11:44:00

lol
Zarch
Report Abuse
10/12/2010 11:59:00

Beautiful again mate, thanks!
The Horses Mouth
Report Abuse
10/12/2010 12:00:00

Great stuff again, love it. Esp the bit where the defence write down 'win', class
Jongekki
Report Abuse
10/12/2010 12:18:00

i love the part of Stephen, you understand as I want to win you cannot play. we need a win so stephen cannot play LOVE IT
Ted 369
Report Abuse
10/12/2010 13:54:00

on another note when is delph back ?, also just heard that Gabby is out with a chest infection
Ted 369
Report Abuse
10/12/2010 14:34:00

Classic mate
Stourbridge Villan
Report Abuse
10/12/2010 14:50:00

Great stuff. hope for Heskey back wearing the mink coat soon
Pancho Villan
Report Abuse
10/12/2010 17:44:00

Another enjoyable read Hercs.
glensider
Report Abuse
10/12/2010 21:16:00

Great stuff. I thought 'Stephen' was gonna be Warnock being sent to Coventry again!!
SuperTommyJohnson
Report Abuse
11/12/2010 10:31:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
14. Everton 27 6 10 11 -6 28
15. Hull City 27 6 8 13 -11 26
16. Sunderland 27 4 13 10 -16 25
17. Q.P.R. 26 6 4 16 -18 22
18. Burnley 27 4 10 13 -20 22
19. Aston Villa 27 5 7 15 -24 22
20. Leicester City 26 4 6 16 -18 18

Breaking League News

Everton target 40 points for survival
Everton : 03/03/2015 11:01:00
Moore To Come From Liam For Pearson
Leicester City : 03/03/2015 10:46:00
Pearson Previews Manchester City
Leicester City : 03/03/2015 10:40:00
Simpson On Manchester City
Leicester City : 03/03/2015 10:33:00
Pearson On Schmeichel Progress
Leicester City : 03/03/2015 10:27:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v WBA will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win 55%
Lose 40%
Draw 5%