Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in the Dressing Room before City

Hercs in the Dressing Room before City

.

We join the lads preparing for the match in the belly of the enemy*

Collins: Do you think there is a reason the boss has made us hold spears?

A.Young: Spears? You don't think that's a little less odd than him being on horseback? I mean how do you even get a horse into a dressing room anyway?

Pires: You know when I was in ze invincibles we would have all manner of animals in ze dressing room, giraffes, little chipmunks, 'ippos ... It was a crazy time ....

Houllier: Silence! Forth and fear no darkness! Arise! Arise, players of Villa! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered and Stephen will get 'is yellow card! A sword day .... a claret day .... ere the sun rises!

Warnock: *to Bannan* What ever happens, stay with me, I'll look after you.

*Bannan nods nervously, Houllier rides past the players hitting their spears with his sword as he goes*

Houllier: Play now!... Play now!... Play! Play to ruin and the world's ending!

*Houllier stops and points to the Birmingham City squad poster on the wall*

Houllier: Death!

All the lads: *echoing* Death!

Houllier: Death!

All the lads: *echoing* Death!

Houllier: DEATH!

Bannan & Herd: Death!

Houllier: Forth Villans!

*Delph hobbles rapidly out of the door screaming wildly as he goes, the lads look at each other with alarm*

A.Young: So...... Tactics boss?

Houllier: Ah yes *Houllier clears his throat* We're going with the 4-4-1-1, with you supporting the striker, two advanced wingers, I was thinking also that....

*10 minutes later Delph bursts through the door interrupting the tactical talk blood-soaked and exhausted*

Delph: Um.... Just to let you know.... City are probably going to forfeit the match.

Herd: Really? Is the weather that bad?

Delph: .....Yes..... The weather..... Also I'm going to need an alibi ..... and ..... Anyone seen my passport?

A.Young: Yeah, O'Neill burnt the passports of everyone he employed.

Delph: Right ...... Do any of you own a british based safe house?



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Wednesday December 1 2010
Time: 10:35AM

Comments

0
Delph my boy, you can come and stop with me mate, anytime : )
steff_the_villan
01/12/2010 11:39:00
0
AWSOMENESS
Ted 369
01/12/2010 13:59:00
0
Another enjoyable and entertaining piece of writing Hercs. Fabian Delph seems to feature prominently in many of your articles, clearly a favourite of yours I would think.
glensider
16/12/2010 07:00:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Audio - Garde On Deserved Norwich Win

Manager Remi Garde was delighted to see Aston Villa pick up what was a no choice victory at the weekend over Norwich City.

Stats: Aston Villa v Norwich

All the stats from Aston Villa (2) vs (0) Norwich, Villa Park, 6/2/16 Att: 32,472

Something For The Weekend (521)

Their priorities are clear but their vision is myopic.

An Open Letter To The FA Over Kalinic

An excellent, in depth, letter to the FA over our failed attempt to buy Lovre Kalinic

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Profile
Mike Field
Profile
Steve Wade
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
Profile
Turkish Penguin
Profile
Glensider
Profile
Chris Heath
Profile
M Calucar
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Norwich MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Bunn2%
Richards0%
Okore8%
Lescott10%
Cissokho0%
Bacuna0%
Gana33%
Westwood0%
Gil10%
Agbonlahor31%
Veretout6%
Sub - Clark0%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 25 15 8 2 53 20
2 Spurs 25 13 9 3 48 26
3 Man City 25 14 5 6 47 21
4 Arsenal 24 13 6 5 45 15
5 Man Utd 24 11 7 6 40 10
6 West Ham 25 10 9 6 39 9
7 Southampton 25 10 7 8 37 9
8 Everton 25 8 11 6 35 12
9 Liverpool 25 9 8 8 35 -4
10 Watford 25 9 6 10 33 0
11 Stoke 25 9 6 10 33 -7
12 Crystal Palace 25 9 5 11 32 -4
13 Chelsea 24 7 8 9 29 -2
14 WBA 25 7 8 10 29 -9
15 AFC Bournemouth 24 7 7 10 28 -10
16 Swansea 25 6 9 10 27 -9
17 Newcastle 25 6 6 13 24 -18
18 Norwich 25 6 5 14 23 -20
19 Sunderland 25 5 5 15 20 -19
20 Aston Villa 25 3 7 15 16 -20
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Renault target podium finish by 2018
Latest Vital Boxing News
Whyte Would Take Haye Fight
Write for Vital Football

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 14 2016 2:05PM : Liverpool (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 27 2016 3:00PM : Stoke City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 1 2016 7:45PM : Everton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : Manchester City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 12 2016 3:00PM : Tottenham Hotspur (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 19 2016 5:30PM : Swansea City (a)
Barclays Premier League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions363
2.Fulford223
3.ClivetheVillan215
4.The Fear210
5.JuanPabloAngel148
6.revdpete142
7.sirdennis133
8.Wurzel110
9.DeanoVilla93
10.He'sBiggerThanMe&You80
The Vital Football Members League