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Hercs in the Dressing Room after Blackburn

Hercs in the Dressing Room after Blackburn

*We join the lads celebrating their 2-0 loss to Blackburn, Houllier enters annoyed*

Houllier: What!? What is all zis!?

*Houllier stops the CD, the party atmosphere falls silent. Gabby is still dancing with his party hat and blower*

Gabby: Celebrate! It would be so....!

*Everyone is staring at Gabby*


Houllier: 'Oliday? 'Oliday!?

Gabby: It's 'Holiday. Celebrate' boss.

Houllier: I know what it is Gabriel! Why are you celebrating zis loss!?

A.Young: 'Cause we all survived boss.

Friedel: Yeah with all our limbs and everything.

Clark: Um.... Brad.

*Clark points to where Friedel's left arm should be, Friedel looks down.*

Friedel: Damn it!

Houllier: Stephen you carry on like zis and you will be doing your fouling in Coventry City.

Warnock: What ... On the street? I think that's illegal boss...

Houllier: Illegal? And you, other Stephen you are ze laziest player I have ever seen!

Ireland: Lazy? How can you call me lazy dere bass?

Houllier: I just woke you up! You were asleep on the floor! It is four in ze afternoon!

Ireland: I was never asleep.

Houllier: You're in a sleeping bag.... Wearing a sleeping cap!

Ireland: .... I guess I am dere bass, you gat me bang ta rights. But in fairness it is Sunday.

*Houllier sighs as Pires enters.*

Pires: Outrage, zis is an outrage. Losing, to Blackburn, me Robert Pires. A World Cup, a European Championship, two Premier League titles. I was in ze invincibles!

Hogg: Really!? I loved that. Which were you the dad with the super strength and stuff and the stretchy wife?

Pires: What!? Zis is the Incredibles! I was an invincible!

Gabby: What .... So no-one could see you? Cool.

Pires: Mon Dieu!

Ireland: Already ... What did I sleep through?

Date:Monday November 22 2010
Time: 11:57AM


Hercs, came across your article on NewsNow - Blackburn; amusing. Very clever. However, Pah! I'm not down. Doesn't sound like it. Your opinion of Blackburn sounds very similar to that of a certain Mr Wenger! But not through being biased, I don't see where you get your damning suggestions from. Explain if you will of course what was so brutal about the Rovers yesterday. The worst foul I saw yesterday came from the referee, he's the brutish ogre! Poor Gael Givet I say. You do have a very good side who do play some exciting football at times, that I wont take away from you but yesterday you were poor, very poor and it certainly wasn't physical abuse that won on the day. We also played some good football, even Lee Dixon said so on MOTD2 and he knows his stuff! (Unsarcastic voice) I think your just sulking in all honesty
22/11/2010 21:47:00
I'm not sulking, I'm upbeat. Perhaps "brutish ogres" was a bit strong, maybe "heavy-handed oafs" or "thuggish ruffians" is more apt? I'm jesting of course, I was just over emphasising the fact that we're currently fielding a fairly physically weak side propped up by talented kids and let's face it when Allardyce wheeled on Goulon and the commentator said he's a "typical Big Sam signing" everyone knew what he meant. 6ft4 and he won't be in the running for the Ballon D'Or lol
23/11/2010 08:18:00
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