Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Blackburn

*We join the lads preparing for Blackburn Rovers Robert Pires enters*

Pires: Bonjour everybody!

Gabby: Hi boss, whats with the old Arsenal shirt?

Pires: Boss!? Mon dieu! It is I, Robert Pires, your new signing.

Gabby: You don't look new. Are you sure you're not the boss? You sound like the boss and you're old like the boss....

*Ashley Young politely escorts Gabby away and shakes Pires' hand*

A.Young: Pleased to meet you Mr.Pires.

Pires: Please, please, no formality I'm yet to earn such respect here. Call me Mr.Pires.

A.Young: .... I just di...

Pires: Yes, I mean I am yet to prove myself here at Aston Villa, I have only won ze World Cup and displayed past Premier League performances which have defied ze comprehension of even ze most top class footballers. It is not as if I expect you to all be running around and making me your english tea.

*The lads including Pires chuckle, Pires' face then turns stern*

Pires: You boy, where is my tea!?

Heskey: Me? I ... Um, I'm injured and I don't...

*Pires raises an eyebrow*

Heskey: Milk and sugar?

*Gabby whispers to A.Young*

Gabby: Why does he sound weird?

A.Young: He's french Gabby, he just has a french accent.

Gabby: He's what?

A.Young: You know, not english ... From another country?

Gabby: But Mr.O'Neill said they didn't exist....

A.Young: Yeah, I know, he was lying.

Gabby: ....... Lying on what? Was he tired?

*Young sighs as a tea cup slams against the wall*

Pires: Foolish youth! You think zat I, a world cup winning frenchman would drink your english tea? It tastes like rodent's urine to a man of my skill and tastes. Now make me a fine Cafe au lait!

Heskey: Right ... um .... Coffee with milk..... Will Kenco do?

Pires: .......Yes

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