Date:Friday November 12 2010
*We join the lads getting a spirited team talk from Houllier before the Man Utd match*
Houllier: ...Would you be willing to trade all ze days from zis day to zat for un chance, just un chance to come back here and tell our enemies they may take our lives, but zey'll never take ..... Our freedom!!!!
*Houllier punches the air expecting a mighty roar from the lads, but he gets silence.*
*Houllier again gets no reply and looks confused*
Petrov: Boss ... This is the physio room.
Houllier: They physi .... Then why are you all here?
NRC: We're all injured boss.
Cuellar: Aye bass, more to tha point though, why are ye wearing a kilt?
Houllier: ... I thought it would add to the speech .... Wait a minute ... Why are YOU wearing a kilt?
*Everyone looks at Houllier like he's gone insane*
Cuellar: 'cause I'm Carlos Cuellar.
*Houllier leaves to enter the dressing room speaking as he strolls through the door.*
Houllier: ...So gentlemen I trust we won't show nerves as we did the first half against....
*Houllier scans the empty dressing room seeing Ciaran Clark's head sticking out from behind a chair*
*Clark jumps up visibly shaken*
Clark: y....y...Yes boss?
Houllier: What is ze meaning of zis!?
Clark: We're scared boss .... We've heard that Paul Scholes kicks children.
Houllier: Oh, silly boys come on out all of you.
*Albrighton climbs out of a waste paper bin*
Albrighton: What ... So ...Paul Scholes doesn't kick children?
Houllier: Of course he does. But he is banned from zis match.
*There is a large sigh of relief around the dressing room as the rest of the team climb, slither and crawl from their hiding places.*
Houllier: We have nothing to fear out there and I believe.... Wait who are you two?
Salifou: I'm Moustapha Salifou.
Osbourne: and I'm Moustapha Salifou.
Salifou: You're Isaiah Osbourne! I am Salifou.
Osbourne: Oh .... I thought that...
Houllier: Alright, alright enough of this nonsense, have you any experience of padding a team by sitting on the bench?
Osbourne: Have We! Moustapha wrote the book on sitting on the bench.
*Osbourne holds up a copy of 'Life's a Bench' by M.Salifou*
Salifou: Yeah and Isaiah recorded the audiobook.
*Salifou presses play on a CD player*
CD Player: '....Always, ALWAYS make sure you sit evenly, the last thing you want is a dead cheek at half-time....'
Date:Friday November 12 2010
Something For The Weekend (472) (Friday November 21 2014)
Optimism From Lawro - None From Mystic Mug (Friday November 21 2014)
Aston Villa FC - 140 Years And Counting (Friday November 21 2014)
Villa Support 21st Minute Initiative (Thursday November 20 2014)
Injury Update Ahead Of Southampton (Thursday November 20 2014)
Villa In Talks With Justice For The 21 (Thursday November 20 2014)
The Stiliyan Petrov Foundation (Thursday November 20 2014)
Villa Fans Expecting High Profile Exits (Thursday November 20 2014)
Mixed & Some Angry Reactions To No Minutes Silence (Thursday November 20 2014)
Not 'The Villa Times' News 18/11/14 (Tuesday November 18 2014)
|1.||Pride of Lions||759|
|West Ham||0||-||0||Aston Villa|
|Aston Villa||0||-||2||Man City|
|15. Crystal Palace||12||3||3||6||-4||12|
|16. Hull City||12||2||5||5||-3||11|
|17. Aston Villa||11||3||2||6||-11||11|
|18. Leicester City||12||2||4||6||-7||10|
» Hull City : 23/11/2014 17:49:00
» Crystal Palace : 23/11/2014 17:33:00
|Vital Report: Crystal Palace 3-1 Liverpool
» Liverpool : 23/11/2014 16:02:00
|The Ped Report...City 2-1 Swansea City
» Man City : 23/11/2014 13:50:00
|Liverpool: Palace vs. LFC Team News
» Liverpool : 23/11/2014 12:41:00