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Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Blackpool



*We join the lads gearing up for the Blackpool game*

Houllier: Bonjour everyone! First of all I would like to introduce you to our new chief scout, Jeff Vetere!

Vetere: Bonjour tout le monde!

A.Young: I thought you were english?

Vetere: Oh yes ... I am. Alright everyone. I'm glad to be here, mainly as I didn't have a job and I have a mortgage.

*the lads and scouts applaud Jeff*

Vetere: Thank you.

Houllier: Yes, I think you'll find Jeff an excellent replacement. He has a passport.

*the scouts ooh and aah*

Scout: .... Can I touch it?....

Vetere: Um No .... Mr.Houllier ... Must I wear this large feather head dress, it is a little awkward and as a tall fellow it impededs me walking through doors.

*Jeff removes his head dress*

Houllier: Put your feathers back on at once! How will ze other scouts know you are chief!?

Vetere: Well, I was thinking we could just tell them ... Or perhaps I could wear a badge?

Houllier: FEATHER CROWN!

Vetere: OK ... OK...

*Jeff replaces the crown and ducks out of the dressing room followed by the adoring scouts, Gabby enters*

Gabby: Woooooo Blackpool!!!

*Ashley looks up and down at Gabby's red striped one piece swimming outfit*

A.Young: Gabby ... You do know we're not going to Blackpool right?

Gabby: I .... What!?

*Gabby drops his rubber ring with the head of a dinosaur*

Gabby: No pleasure beach?

A.Young: No.

*Gabby drops his head*

Gabby: No Mooky the clown?

A.Young: No Mooky.

*Gabby sniffs and pulls the knotted hankerchief from his head to blow his nose*

Gabby: No donkies?

A.Young: Afraid not.

Heskey: Psssst!

*Heskey silently nods whilst pointing at his hand in the direction of Carew*

Carew: Hey! Mr.Houllier, Emile is calling me a donkey!

Houllier: Emile! Stop insulting ze donkies!

Heskey: Sorry boss.

Carew: What!? That's not what I .. I mean.... DISRESPECT!




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday November 10 2010

Time: 4:34PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

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LOL :)
Tr1dent
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10/11/2010 17:35:00

Nice one, thanks Hercs, another laugh out loud moment in the office!
Charizma
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10/11/2010 17:56:00

A+, this one was quite funny
JWiLs2315
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10/11/2010 18:16:00

Excellant as always. But to comment in the style of a Mastercard ad. Heskey pointing out donkeys. Fuc***g priceless! lmao.
mauvaisgarcon
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10/11/2010 19:37:00

Another good laugh provided by the writings of Hercs. "A.Young: I thought you were english"? - Best Laugh I've had all day.
glensider
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13/11/2010 06:56:00

 

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