UK time is: 09:46:06
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Blackpool



*We join the lads gearing up for the Blackpool game*

Houllier: Bonjour everyone! First of all I would like to introduce you to our new chief scout, Jeff Vetere!

Vetere: Bonjour tout le monde!

A.Young: I thought you were english?

Vetere: Oh yes ... I am. Alright everyone. I'm glad to be here, mainly as I didn't have a job and I have a mortgage.

*the lads and scouts applaud Jeff*

Vetere: Thank you.

Houllier: Yes, I think you'll find Jeff an excellent replacement. He has a passport.

*the scouts ooh and aah*

Scout: .... Can I touch it?....

Vetere: Um No .... Mr.Houllier ... Must I wear this large feather head dress, it is a little awkward and as a tall fellow it impededs me walking through doors.

*Jeff removes his head dress*

Houllier: Put your feathers back on at once! How will ze other scouts know you are chief!?

Vetere: Well, I was thinking we could just tell them ... Or perhaps I could wear a badge?

Houllier: FEATHER CROWN!

Vetere: OK ... OK...

*Jeff replaces the crown and ducks out of the dressing room followed by the adoring scouts, Gabby enters*

Gabby: Woooooo Blackpool!!!

*Ashley looks up and down at Gabby's red striped one piece swimming outfit*

A.Young: Gabby ... You do know we're not going to Blackpool right?

Gabby: I .... What!?

*Gabby drops his rubber ring with the head of a dinosaur*

Gabby: No pleasure beach?

A.Young: No.

*Gabby drops his head*

Gabby: No Mooky the clown?

A.Young: No Mooky.

*Gabby sniffs and pulls the knotted hankerchief from his head to blow his nose*

Gabby: No donkies?

A.Young: Afraid not.

Heskey: Psssst!

*Heskey silently nods whilst pointing at his hand in the direction of Carew*

Carew: Hey! Mr.Houllier, Emile is calling me a donkey!

Houllier: Emile! Stop insulting ze donkies!

Heskey: Sorry boss.

Carew: What!? That's not what I .. I mean.... DISRESPECT!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday November 10 2010

Time: 4:34PM

Your Comments

LOL :)
Tr1dent
Nice one, thanks Hercs, another laugh out loud moment in the office!
Charizma
A+, this one was quite funny
JWiLs2315
Excellant as always. But to comment in the style of a Mastercard ad. Heskey pointing out donkeys. Fuc***g priceless! lmao.
mauvaisgarcon
Another good laugh provided by the writings of Hercs. "A.Young: I thought you were english"? - Best Laugh I've had all day.
glensider
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Lambert Looking For QPR Response (Friday October 24 2014)

QPR Injury Update (Friday October 24 2014)

The Villa Times - 24/10/2014 (Friday October 24 2014)

Lambert - Time To Change Our Focus (Thursday October 23 2014)

Vlaar Wants A Return To Winning Ways (Thursday October 23 2014)

Drennan Returns - So Time For A Round Up (Wednesday October 22 2014)

Okore Not Ready For Premiership Action (Tuesday October 21 2014)

Nathan Baker Picks Up Hamstring Injury (Tuesday October 21 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 712
2. The Fear 695
3. ClivetheVillan 582
4. thefacehead 465
5. HeathfieldRoad1874 238
6. sirdennis 230
7. kefkat 216
8. Villan Of The North 159
9. DeanoVilla 142
10. Clubpaver 138

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
9. Spurs 8 3 2 3 -1 11
10. Stoke 8 3 2 3 -1 11
11. Hull City 8 2 4 2 0 10
12. Aston Villa 8 3 1 4 -8 10
13. Everton 8 2 3 3 0 9
14. WBA 8 2 3 3 -1 9
15. Leicester City 8 2 3 3 -2 9

Breaking League News

Carrick on Comeback Trail
Man Utd : 25/10/2014 09:40:00
Is Garay The Man?
Man Utd : 25/10/2014 09:36:00
The Question-Ings!
Burnley : 25/10/2014 09:34:00
It`s Goodbye from Me!
Chelsea : 25/10/2014 09:29:00
Name the Starting XI - Man United (a)
Chelsea : 25/10/2014 09:22:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v QPR (away) will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win - whoop! 39%
Lose - we go again! 43%
Draw - meh! 18%