UK time is: 18:30:45
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Blackpool



*We join the lads gearing up for the Blackpool game*

Houllier: Bonjour everyone! First of all I would like to introduce you to our new chief scout, Jeff Vetere!

Vetere: Bonjour tout le monde!

A.Young: I thought you were english?

Vetere: Oh yes ... I am. Alright everyone. I'm glad to be here, mainly as I didn't have a job and I have a mortgage.

*the lads and scouts applaud Jeff*

Vetere: Thank you.

Houllier: Yes, I think you'll find Jeff an excellent replacement. He has a passport.

*the scouts ooh and aah*

Scout: .... Can I touch it?....

Vetere: Um No .... Mr.Houllier ... Must I wear this large feather head dress, it is a little awkward and as a tall fellow it impededs me walking through doors.

*Jeff removes his head dress*

Houllier: Put your feathers back on at once! How will ze other scouts know you are chief!?

Vetere: Well, I was thinking we could just tell them ... Or perhaps I could wear a badge?

Houllier: FEATHER CROWN!

Vetere: OK ... OK...

*Jeff replaces the crown and ducks out of the dressing room followed by the adoring scouts, Gabby enters*

Gabby: Woooooo Blackpool!!!

*Ashley looks up and down at Gabby's red striped one piece swimming outfit*

A.Young: Gabby ... You do know we're not going to Blackpool right?

Gabby: I .... What!?

*Gabby drops his rubber ring with the head of a dinosaur*

Gabby: No pleasure beach?

A.Young: No.

*Gabby drops his head*

Gabby: No Mooky the clown?

A.Young: No Mooky.

*Gabby sniffs and pulls the knotted hankerchief from his head to blow his nose*

Gabby: No donkies?

A.Young: Afraid not.

Heskey: Psssst!

*Heskey silently nods whilst pointing at his hand in the direction of Carew*

Carew: Hey! Mr.Houllier, Emile is calling me a donkey!

Houllier: Emile! Stop insulting ze donkies!

Heskey: Sorry boss.

Carew: What!? That's not what I .. I mean.... DISRESPECT!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday November 10 2010

Time: 4:34PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
LOL :)
Tr1dent
Report Abuse
10/11/2010 17:35:00

Nice one, thanks Hercs, another laugh out loud moment in the office!
Charizma
Report Abuse
10/11/2010 17:56:00

A+, this one was quite funny
JWiLs2315
Report Abuse
10/11/2010 18:16:00

Excellant as always. But to comment in the style of a Mastercard ad. Heskey pointing out donkeys. Fuc***g priceless! lmao.
mauvaisgarcon
Report Abuse
10/11/2010 19:37:00

Another good laugh provided by the writings of Hercs. "A.Young: I thought you were english"? - Best Laugh I've had all day.
glensider
Report Abuse
13/11/2010 06:56:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Arsenal In The FA Cup Final (Sunday April 19 2015)

Stats: Aston Villa v Liverpool (Sunday April 19 2015)

Sherwood Not Thinking About Losing (Saturday April 18 2015)

Something For The Weekend (490) (Friday April 17 2015)

Audio - AVTV Wembley Preview (Friday April 17 2015)

Baker On Wembley First (Friday April 17 2015)

Given Gets Wembley Start (Friday April 17 2015)

Pre Liverpool FA Cup Injury News (Friday April 17 2015)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 738
2. ClivetheVillan 616
3. The Fear 498
4. col8 380
5. kefkat 231
6. thefacehead 195
7. sirdennis 186
8. DeanoVilla 162
9. Fulford 159
10. HeathfieldRoad1874 117

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
12. Everton 33 10 11 12 -2 41
13. WBA 33 9 9 15 -14 36
14. Newcastle 33 9 8 16 -20 35
15. Aston Villa 33 8 8 17 -21 32
16. Sunderland 32 5 14 13 -23 29
17. Hull City 32 6 10 16 -16 28
18. Leicester City 32 7 7 18 -17 28

Breaking League News

Schneiderlin - We Deserved More Against Stoke
Southampton : 19/04/2015 18:22:01
AUDIO: Allardyce on City Defeat
West Ham : 19/04/2015 18:20:01
West Ham : 19/04/2015 18:13:01
Stoke Defeat Was Harsh Says Koeman
Southampton : 19/04/2015 18:13:01
Liverpool : 19/04/2015 18:00:01

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

FAC Semi - Liverpool MotM
Suggested By:  MF
Given 1%
Bacuna 3%
Vlaar 0%
Baker 0%
Richardson 0%
Cleverley 3%
Westwood 0%
Delph 60%
N'Zogbia 0%
Benteke 13%
Grealish 20%
Sub - Okore 0%
Sub - Sinclair 0%
Sub - Cole 0%