Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Blackpool

Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Blackpool



*We join the lads gearing up for the Blackpool game*

Houllier: Bonjour everyone! First of all I would like to introduce you to our new chief scout, Jeff Vetere!

Vetere: Bonjour tout le monde!

A.Young: I thought you were english?

Vetere: Oh yes ... I am. Alright everyone. I'm glad to be here, mainly as I didn't have a job and I have a mortgage.

*the lads and scouts applaud Jeff*

Vetere: Thank you.

Houllier: Yes, I think you'll find Jeff an excellent replacement. He has a passport.

*the scouts ooh and aah*

Scout: .... Can I touch it?....

Vetere: Um No .... Mr.Houllier ... Must I wear this large feather head dress, it is a little awkward and as a tall fellow it impededs me walking through doors.

*Jeff removes his head dress*

Houllier: Put your feathers back on at once! How will ze other scouts know you are chief!?

Vetere: Well, I was thinking we could just tell them ... Or perhaps I could wear a badge?

Houllier: FEATHER CROWN!

Vetere: OK ... OK...

*Jeff replaces the crown and ducks out of the dressing room followed by the adoring scouts, Gabby enters*

Gabby: Woooooo Blackpool!!!

*Ashley looks up and down at Gabby's red striped one piece swimming outfit*

A.Young: Gabby ... You do know we're not going to Blackpool right?

Gabby: I .... What!?

*Gabby drops his rubber ring with the head of a dinosaur*

Gabby: No pleasure beach?

A.Young: No.

*Gabby drops his head*

Gabby: No Mooky the clown?

A.Young: No Mooky.

*Gabby sniffs and pulls the knotted hankerchief from his head to blow his nose*

Gabby: No donkies?

A.Young: Afraid not.

Heskey: Psssst!

*Heskey silently nods whilst pointing at his hand in the direction of Carew*

Carew: Hey! Mr.Houllier, Emile is calling me a donkey!

Houllier: Emile! Stop insulting ze donkies!

Heskey: Sorry boss.

Carew: What!? That's not what I .. I mean.... DISRESPECT!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Wednesday November 10 2010
Time: 4:34PM

Comments

0
LOL :)
Tr1dent
10/11/2010 17:35:00
0
Nice one, thanks Hercs, another laugh out loud moment in the office!
Charizma
10/11/2010 17:56:00
0
A+, this one was quite funny
JWiLs2315
10/11/2010 18:16:00
0
Excellant as always. But to comment in the style of a Mastercard ad. Heskey pointing out donkeys. Fuc***g priceless! lmao.
mauvaisgarcon
10/11/2010 19:37:00
0
Another good laugh provided by the writings of Hercs. "A.Young: I thought you were english"? - Best Laugh I've had all day.
glensider
13/11/2010 06:56:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Best of Vital Network

Vital Boxing - Adams Turns Professional

Recent Aston Villa Articles

What Can The Matter Be Ross?

Well this was a little bit of an unexpected turn of events over the weekend...Ross McCormack, a locked gate and disciplinary issues.

Bruce Gives Preston Thoughts

Manager Steve Bruce has mixed reactions following our two all draw with Preston North End last weekend.

New Date For Bristol City

The upcoming Championship game against Bristol City at Villa Park has been moved.

Video Highlights & Post Match Coverage v PNE

Video highlights, select tweets, stats, fan reactions and so much more. Well, not that much more to be fair.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Vital Villa Player Of January
Suggested By: JP Fear
Tshibola0%
Baker0%
Adomha0%
Jedinak0%
Chester0%
Amavi0%
Grealish0%
Agbonlahor0%
Bacuna0%
Other0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 27 19 1 7 58 33
2 Brighton 26 17 6 3 57 24
3 Huddersfield 27 15 4 8 49 2
4 Leeds Utd 27 15 3 9 48 10
5 Reading 26 14 4 8 46 2
6 Sheff Wed 27 13 6 8 45 5
7 Derby County 27 12 7 8 43 6
8 Barnsley 27 12 5 10 41 5
9 Fulham 26 10 10 6 40 13
10 Norwich 27 12 4 11 40 5
11 Preston 27 11 7 9 40 3
12 Birmingham 27 9 10 8 37 -5
13 Aston Villa 27 8 12 7 36 1
14 Ipswich 27 9 7 11 34 -5
15 Brentford 27 9 6 12 33 -1
16 Cardiff 26 9 6 11 33 -9
17 Q.P.R. 27 9 6 12 33 -11
18 Wolves 27 8 8 11 32 -3
19 Forest 27 8 6 13 30 -7
20 Bristol City 27 8 3 16 27 -4
21 Wigan 27 6 7 14 25 -8
22 Burton 27 6 7 14 25 -11
23 Blackburn 27 6 7 14 25 -12
24 Rotherham 27 4 4 19 16 -33
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Rosberg lacked passion for F1
Latest Vital Boxing News
Adams Turns Professional
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Jan 28 2017 3:00PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 31 2017 7:45PM : Brentford (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 4 2017 5:30PM : Nottingham Forest (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 11 2017 3:00PM : Ipswich Town (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 14 2017 7:45PM : Barnsley (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 20 2017 8:00PM : Newcastle United (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear540
2.JuanPabloAngel341
3.Silhillvilla320
4.Fulford301
5.sirdennis287
6.Villan57220
7.Melon Donkey171
8.BodyButter170
9.villasince67133
10.danvilla2130
The Vital Football Members League