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Hercs at Match of the Day after the Fulham match



*We join the pundits of MOTD as they discuss the upcoming highlight reel of the Fulham Villa match*

Lineker: Right lads, who's got analysis on the Fulham Aston Villa match?

Hansen: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Astrom Who?

Lineker: Aston Villa.

Hansen: Never heard of them.

Lineker (chuckling): Very funny Alan.

*Hansen is scowling at Lineker*

Linker: Oh... um.... You must have heard of them Alan? They've been around over a hundred years, one of the longest teams in the top flight?

Hansen: No.

*Hansen looks at Shearer who shrugs*

Lineker: So you've not watched the match then?

Hansen: I dinnae need to watch matches any more Gary, I just watch this every week.

*Hansen produces a laptop from behind the sofa, it's playing a video with Ian Rush peeling away in celebration from a goal*

Hansen: Liverpool. The Glory Years.

Lineker: O....K. Alan? Did you watch Aston Villa?

Shearer: Oh aye, I'm still doon with tha' kids like. I love tha JLS. 'Let's just get back togetha we shoulda never broke up..'

Lineker: Alan! Stop that dancing. We're serious BBC sports broadcasters!

Shearer'....Beat Again! It's killin' may!'

Lineker: I mean the football club, not 'Aston' the singer. Stop that, what is it called .... the worm?

*Shearer is doing 'the worm' in the middle of the studio*

Linker: The Premier League trophy is wobbling Alan stop it! Stop it!

Shearer: alreet man alreet. Ya such a spoil sport pet.

Lineker: So I take it I'm the only one who's seen this match then? Right, they fielded alot of players who have progressed through their ranks, quite a triumph really. One of their youngsters Barry Bannan hit a 60-70 yard pass, probably the best assist of the season. So I say we focus on that.

Hansen: Steve Gerrard did you say?

Lineker: No. Bannan.

Hansen: Not interested.

Shearer: Bananaman?

Lineker: No Barry Bannan, he's a kid on the...

Shere: Aye, til he eats a banana, then he's a man. I never got that like....

Lineker: Barry ..... Bannan.

Hansen: Is that the one from that Hulk film?

Lineker: That's Bruce Banner!

Shearer: Oooh I love that film 'Dinnae get me angry, ya wouldna like me when I'm angry like'. He's like you Alan.

*Lineker and Shearer laugh, Hansen lunges at Shearer with fist raised.*

Hansen: I'm nay an angry man! Take it back! TAKE IT BACK!!

Shearer: Alan, put down ya fist man, it was just a jork like.

*Hansen thumps Shearer who slumps to the ground*

Lineker: Good God. Alan... You... You've broken his nose! (to the production crew) Just Roll straight to Wigan! Straight to Wigan!!

Hansen: I dinnae ken what he's complainin' about, ye wouldn't have got a yellow card for that in ma day




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday November 8 2010

Time: 1:17PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
lol, love the bananaman jokes ;)
thorpyuk
Report Abuse
08/11/2010 14:08:00

Nice one, yet again you make me laugh out loud! Thanks Mate.
Charizma
Report Abuse
08/11/2010 14:17:00

Analysis of the match on MOTD was rubbish, i guess we dont register a blip on their radars
sonicdeathmonkey
Report Abuse
09/11/2010 10:36:00

Rubbish? There was none. John Motson didn't even refer to that excellent ball from Bannan, if it'd had been his beloved Gerrard or God forbid Rooney Motson would have given birth!
Hercs
Report Abuse
09/11/2010 13:45:00

 

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