UK time is: 02:27:30
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs at Match of the Day after the Fulham match



*We join the pundits of MOTD as they discuss the upcoming highlight reel of the Fulham Villa match*

Lineker: Right lads, who's got analysis on the Fulham Aston Villa match?

Hansen: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Astrom Who?

Lineker: Aston Villa.

Hansen: Never heard of them.

Lineker (chuckling): Very funny Alan.

*Hansen is scowling at Lineker*

Linker: Oh... um.... You must have heard of them Alan? They've been around over a hundred years, one of the longest teams in the top flight?

Hansen: No.

*Hansen looks at Shearer who shrugs*

Lineker: So you've not watched the match then?

Hansen: I dinnae need to watch matches any more Gary, I just watch this every week.

*Hansen produces a laptop from behind the sofa, it's playing a video with Ian Rush peeling away in celebration from a goal*

Hansen: Liverpool. The Glory Years.

Lineker: O....K. Alan? Did you watch Aston Villa?

Shearer: Oh aye, I'm still doon with tha' kids like. I love tha JLS. 'Let's just get back togetha we shoulda never broke up..'

Lineker: Alan! Stop that dancing. We're serious BBC sports broadcasters!

Shearer'....Beat Again! It's killin' may!'

Lineker: I mean the football club, not 'Aston' the singer. Stop that, what is it called .... the worm?

*Shearer is doing 'the worm' in the middle of the studio*

Linker: The Premier League trophy is wobbling Alan stop it! Stop it!

Shearer: alreet man alreet. Ya such a spoil sport pet.

Lineker: So I take it I'm the only one who's seen this match then? Right, they fielded alot of players who have progressed through their ranks, quite a triumph really. One of their youngsters Barry Bannan hit a 60-70 yard pass, probably the best assist of the season. So I say we focus on that.

Hansen: Steve Gerrard did you say?

Lineker: No. Bannan.

Hansen: Not interested.

Shearer: Bananaman?

Lineker: No Barry Bannan, he's a kid on the...

Shere: Aye, til he eats a banana, then he's a man. I never got that like....

Lineker: Barry ..... Bannan.

Hansen: Is that the one from that Hulk film?

Lineker: That's Bruce Banner!

Shearer: Oooh I love that film 'Dinnae get me angry, ya wouldna like me when I'm angry like'. He's like you Alan.

*Lineker and Shearer laugh, Hansen lunges at Shearer with fist raised.*

Hansen: I'm nay an angry man! Take it back! TAKE IT BACK!!

Shearer: Alan, put down ya fist man, it was just a jork like.

*Hansen thumps Shearer who slumps to the ground*

Lineker: Good God. Alan... You... You've broken his nose! (to the production crew) Just Roll straight to Wigan! Straight to Wigan!!

Hansen: I dinnae ken what he's complainin' about, ye wouldn't have got a yellow card for that in ma day




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday November 8 2010

Time: 1:17PM

Your Comments

lol, love the bananaman jokes ;)
thorpyuk
Nice one, yet again you make me laugh out loud! Thanks Mate.
Charizma
Analysis of the match on MOTD was rubbish, i guess we dont register a blip on their radars
sonicdeathmonkey
Rubbish? There was none. John Motson didn't even refer to that excellent ball from Bannan, if it'd had been his beloved Gerrard or God forbid Rooney Motson would have given birth!
Hercs
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Lambert Looking For QPR Response (Friday October 24 2014)

QPR Injury Update (Friday October 24 2014)

The Villa Times - 24/10/2014 (Friday October 24 2014)

Lambert - Time To Change Our Focus (Thursday October 23 2014)

Vlaar Wants A Return To Winning Ways (Thursday October 23 2014)

Drennan Returns - So Time For A Round Up (Wednesday October 22 2014)

Okore Not Ready For Premiership Action (Tuesday October 21 2014)

Nathan Baker Picks Up Hamstring Injury (Tuesday October 21 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 711
2. The Fear 692
3. ClivetheVillan 582
4. thefacehead 465
5. HeathfieldRoad1874 238
6. sirdennis 230
7. kefkat 216
8. Villan Of The North 158
9. DeanoVilla 142
10. Clubpaver 138

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
9. Spurs 8 3 2 3 -1 11
10. Stoke 8 3 2 3 -1 11
11. Hull City 8 2 4 2 0 10
12. Aston Villa 8 3 1 4 -8 10
13. Everton 8 2 3 3 0 9
14. WBA 8 2 3 3 -1 9
15. Leicester City 8 2 3 3 -2 9

Breaking League News

Going for Three Points This Time!
Chelsea : 24/10/2014 22:00:00
Liverpool: Lawro Predicts 2014-15 - Hull (Home)
Liverpool : 24/10/2014 20:00:00
Villa to Sign Cleverley in January!
Man Utd : 24/10/2014 18:43:00
Pearson On Competition amp; Swansea Threat
Leicester City : 24/10/2014 18:31:00
Pellegrini Expecting Tough West Ham Test
Man City : 24/10/2014 18:17:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v QPR (away) will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win - whoop! 40%
Lose - we go again! 41%
Draw - meh! 19%