Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs at Match of the Day after the Fulham match

Hercs at Match of the Day after the Fulham match



*We join the pundits of MOTD as they discuss the upcoming highlight reel of the Fulham Villa match*

Lineker: Right lads, who's got analysis on the Fulham Aston Villa match?

Hansen: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Astrom Who?

Lineker: Aston Villa.

Hansen: Never heard of them.

Lineker (chuckling): Very funny Alan.

*Hansen is scowling at Lineker*

Linker: Oh... um.... You must have heard of them Alan? They've been around over a hundred years, one of the longest teams in the top flight?

Hansen: No.

*Hansen looks at Shearer who shrugs*

Lineker: So you've not watched the match then?

Hansen: I dinnae need to watch matches any more Gary, I just watch this every week.

*Hansen produces a laptop from behind the sofa, it's playing a video with Ian Rush peeling away in celebration from a goal*

Hansen: Liverpool. The Glory Years.

Lineker: O....K. Alan? Did you watch Aston Villa?

Shearer: Oh aye, I'm still doon with tha' kids like. I love tha JLS. 'Let's just get back togetha we shoulda never broke up..'

Lineker: Alan! Stop that dancing. We're serious BBC sports broadcasters!

Shearer'....Beat Again! It's killin' may!'

Lineker: I mean the football club, not 'Aston' the singer. Stop that, what is it called .... the worm?

*Shearer is doing 'the worm' in the middle of the studio*

Linker: The Premier League trophy is wobbling Alan stop it! Stop it!

Shearer: alreet man alreet. Ya such a spoil sport pet.

Lineker: So I take it I'm the only one who's seen this match then? Right, they fielded alot of players who have progressed through their ranks, quite a triumph really. One of their youngsters Barry Bannan hit a 60-70 yard pass, probably the best assist of the season. So I say we focus on that.

Hansen: Steve Gerrard did you say?

Lineker: No. Bannan.

Hansen: Not interested.

Shearer: Bananaman?

Lineker: No Barry Bannan, he's a kid on the...

Shere: Aye, til he eats a banana, then he's a man. I never got that like....

Lineker: Barry ..... Bannan.

Hansen: Is that the one from that Hulk film?

Lineker: That's Bruce Banner!

Shearer: Oooh I love that film 'Dinnae get me angry, ya wouldna like me when I'm angry like'. He's like you Alan.

*Lineker and Shearer laugh, Hansen lunges at Shearer with fist raised.*

Hansen: I'm nay an angry man! Take it back! TAKE IT BACK!!

Shearer: Alan, put down ya fist man, it was just a jork like.

*Hansen thumps Shearer who slumps to the ground*

Lineker: Good God. Alan... You... You've broken his nose! (to the production crew) Just Roll straight to Wigan! Straight to Wigan!!

Hansen: I dinnae ken what he's complainin' about, ye wouldn't have got a yellow card for that in ma day



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday November 8 2010
Time: 1:17PM

Comments

0
lol, love the bananaman jokes ;)
thorpyuk
08/11/2010 14:08:00
0
Nice one, yet again you make me laugh out loud! Thanks Mate.
Charizma
08/11/2010 14:17:00
0
Analysis of the match on MOTD was rubbish, i guess we dont register a blip on their radars
sonicdeathmonkey
09/11/2010 10:36:00
0
Rubbish? There was none. John Motson didn't even refer to that excellent ball from Bannan, if it'd had been his beloved Gerrard or God forbid Rooney Motson would have given birth!
Hercs
09/11/2010 13:45:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Elphick's Superstitions To Continue

New centre half Tommy Elphick has insisted his pre match ritual of attacking the goal posts instead of having a team photo will continue following his move to Aston Villa.

No Sinclair To Celtic - But Crespo Off

It's being reported that Aston Villa have rejected a £2million offer from Celtic for Scott Sinclair, but Jose Angel Crespo wants the 'PAOK' option to bring an end to his time with us.

Petrov To Resume Villa Training

Aston Villa have confirmed that Stiliyan Petrov will join up with the boys for pre season training, and he's been invited by new manager Roberto Di Matteo to join...

Elphick Relishing Promotion Pressure

New signing, and Roberto Di Matteo's first capture from Bournemouth, Tommy Elphick has said he's relishing the pressure of helping Aston Villa return...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Elphick?
Suggested By: JP Fear
Great, solid signing82%
Ok signing5%
Meh signing13%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Burnley 46 26 15 5 93 37
P Middlesbrough 46 26 11 9 89 32
3 Brighton 46 24 17 5 89 30
4 Hull City 46 24 11 11 83 34
5 Derby County 46 21 15 10 78 23
6 Sheff Wed 46 19 17 10 74 21
7 Ipswich 46 18 15 13 69 2
8 Cardiff 46 17 17 12 68 5
9 Brentford 46 19 8 19 65 5
10 Birmingham 46 16 15 15 63 4
11 Preston 46 15 17 14 62 0
12 Q.P.R. 46 14 18 14 60 0
13 Leeds Utd 46 14 17 15 59 -8
14 Wolves 46 14 16 16 58 -5
15 Blackburn 46 13 16 17 55 0
16 Forest 46 13 16 17 55 -4
17 Reading 46 13 13 20 52 -7
18 Bristol City 46 13 13 20 52 -17
19 Huddersfield 46 13 12 21 51 -11
20 Fulham 46 12 15 19 51 -13
21 Rotherham 46 13 10 23 49 -18
R Charlton 46 9 13 24 40 -40
R MK Dons 46 9 12 25 39 -30
R Bolton 46 5 15 26 30 -40
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Sainz expected to stay with Red Bull stable
Latest Vital Boxing News
Liam Smith Next up for Saul ‘Canelo’ Alvarez
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear365
2.BodyButter153
3.sirdennis150
4.Fulford135
5.JuanPabloAngel112
6.kefkat99
7.DeanoVilla89
8.glensider80
9.Silhillvilla70
10.Melon Donkey69
Write for Vital Football