UK time is: 03:57:34
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in the Dressing Room post Burnley

*We join the lads shattered but celebrating their win against Burnley, Heskey walks through the door. The room falls silent.*

Heskey: Hey guys! What's up? Where's the partying?

A.Young: Emile.... You've gone too far this time.

*Heskey crouches down to tighten the buckle on his sandles*

Heskey: Come again?

A.Young: You. Dressed as Jesus.

Heskey: Dressed as who?

*Heskey adjusts his thorned crown*

A.Young: Jesus!

Heskey: Never heard of him, what is he one of your 'grime' or 'dubstep' people? I've told you before I don't listen to that nonsense.

Collins: Come off it Emile, we all know you're acting the 'saviour'

Heskey: I don't know what you're talking about, I'm just here to score goals lads.

*Downing enters, he stops in his stride to stare at Emile*

Downing: Well, this is embarrassin' like.

*Downing and Heskey look each other up and down*

Heskey: So.... Are you going to change or shall I?

Downing: I will pal I've got some other clothes in ma locker like.

*Minutes later Downing is changed and approaches the lads again*

A.Young: Flash Gordon!?

Downing: Who?

A.Young: I know you know! 'Saviour of the universe' ... 'he saves everyone of us'

Downing: Your words, not mine like.

*Friedel enters, he stops. Downing and Friedel look each other up and down.*

Downing: Oooh No, I'm not changing again.

*Albrighton has sat down with Sidwell, Delph, NRC and Warnock*

Albrighton: So what do we do here in the hall of maim? Do we make greetings cards anytime? My grandma's birthday's coming up and she likes cats so I was thinking of making one with a kitten playing with a ball of...

Delph: Hold up! First off, yes we sometimes make grettings cards, secondly why are you sitting with us?

Albrighton: I got a red card, 'I'm down' look.

*Albrighton holds the red card aloft, a drooling Delph leans toward it finger outsretched, Sidwell smacks Delph's hand and he comes to his senses*

Sidwell: You barely touched him. Be gone.

Albrighton: I got a straight red, lucky he survived he is, vicious I am, deadly.

NRC: What? You were just the last man!

Albrighton: Yeah, last man standing, why he'll be probably never walk again...

*Wade Elliot knocks and enters*

Elliot: Hi guys, good match. Tough break picking up a red card there Marc. It's was a pleasure playing against you.

*Sidwell, NRC, Warnock & Delph all stare wide-eyed at Albrighton*

Albrighton: Fine, I'll move.




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday October 28 2010

Time: 12:06PM

Your Comments

Very good.
Revdpete
Yorkshireman i think.
sonicdeathmonkey
Never noticed him use the word "like" will listen out for it next time. Great again Hercs
Valiant Villan™
More entertaining than the game itself. Good piece Hercs.
glensider
Is Albrighton based on Jay from the Inbetweeners? I can kind of see it.
Rawlie
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Articles

Vital Villa Man Of Match v Southampton (Wednesday April 23 2014)

Sylla - Not As Dramatic As He Sounds (Wednesday April 23 2014)

Robinson Looking For More (Monday April 21 2014)

Dear Randy...A Fans Retort (Sunday April 20 2014)

Club Statement From Randy Lerner (Sunday April 20 2014)

Vlaar - We Still Need A Win (Saturday April 19 2014)

Lambert Hails Huge Southampton Point (Saturday April 19 2014)

U21 Manchester City Clash Set (Saturday April 19 2014)

Archived Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 1085
2. The Fear 1001
3. ClivetheVillan 562
4. Villan57 293
5. Villan Of The North 269
6. Barney2004 260
7. sirdennis 226
8. BlackCountry Villa 225
9. kefkat 218
10. tarzan 201

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
12. West Ham 35 10 7 18 -10 37
13. Swansea 35 9 9 17 -4 36
14. Hull City 34 10 6 18 -9 36
15. Aston Villa 34 9 8 17 -14 35
16. WBA 34 6 15 13 -13 33
17. Norwich 35 8 8 19 -28 32
18. Cardiff 35 7 9 19 -34 30

Breaking League News

Will Swansea City Take Risk And Appoint Monk?
» Swansea : 23/04/2014 21:48:00
Have Your Say In The Vital Swansea Message Forum
» Swansea : 23/04/2014 21:35:00
Liverpool: Reds To Spend Big In Summer
» Liverpool : 23/04/2014 19:40:00
FA To Get Their Pound of Flesh
» Chelsea : 23/04/2014 19:07:00
» Chelsea : 23/04/2014 16:40:00
Boss Urges Fans To Fill the Stadium of Light
» Sunderland : 23/04/2014 15:27:00
Borini Picks Up Young Player Gong
» Sunderland : 23/04/2014 15:02:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v Swansea (away) will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win - safety at last 23%
Lose - we go again 52%
Draw 25%