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Hercs in the Dressing Room post Burnley

*We join the lads shattered but celebrating their win against Burnley, Heskey walks through the door. The room falls silent.*

Heskey: Hey guys! What's up? Where's the partying?

A.Young: Emile.... You've gone too far this time.

*Heskey crouches down to tighten the buckle on his sandles*

Heskey: Come again?

A.Young: You. Dressed as Jesus.

Heskey: Dressed as who?

*Heskey adjusts his thorned crown*

A.Young: Jesus!

Heskey: Never heard of him, what is he one of your 'grime' or 'dubstep' people? I've told you before I don't listen to that nonsense.

Collins: Come off it Emile, we all know you're acting the 'saviour'

Heskey: I don't know what you're talking about, I'm just here to score goals lads.

*Downing enters, he stops in his stride to stare at Emile*

Downing: Well, this is embarrassin' like.

*Downing and Heskey look each other up and down*

Heskey: So.... Are you going to change or shall I?

Downing: I will pal I've got some other clothes in ma locker like.

*Minutes later Downing is changed and approaches the lads again*

A.Young: Flash Gordon!?

Downing: Who?

A.Young: I know you know! 'Saviour of the universe' ... 'he saves everyone of us'

Downing: Your words, not mine like.

*Friedel enters, he stops. Downing and Friedel look each other up and down.*

Downing: Oooh No, I'm not changing again.

*Albrighton has sat down with Sidwell, Delph, NRC and Warnock*

Albrighton: So what do we do here in the hall of maim? Do we make greetings cards anytime? My grandma's birthday's coming up and she likes cats so I was thinking of making one with a kitten playing with a ball of...

Delph: Hold up! First off, yes we sometimes make grettings cards, secondly why are you sitting with us?

Albrighton: I got a red card, 'I'm down' look.

*Albrighton holds the red card aloft, a drooling Delph leans toward it finger outsretched, Sidwell smacks Delph's hand and he comes to his senses*

Sidwell: You barely touched him. Be gone.

Albrighton: I got a straight red, lucky he survived he is, vicious I am, deadly.

NRC: What? You were just the last man!

Albrighton: Yeah, last man standing, why he'll be probably never walk again...

*Wade Elliot knocks and enters*

Elliot: Hi guys, good match. Tough break picking up a red card there Marc. It's was a pleasure playing against you.

*Sidwell, NRC, Warnock & Delph all stare wide-eyed at Albrighton*

Albrighton: Fine, I'll move.




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday October 28 2010

Time: 12:06PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

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Very good.
Revdpete
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28/10/2010 12:17:00

Yorkshireman i think.
sonicdeathmonkey
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28/10/2010 13:21:00

Never noticed him use the word "like" will listen out for it next time. Great again Hercs
Valiant Villan™
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28/10/2010 13:47:00

More entertaining than the game itself. Good piece Hercs.
glensider
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28/10/2010 17:59:00

Is Albrighton based on Jay from the Inbetweeners? I can kind of see it.
Rawlie
Report Abuse
29/10/2010 01:43:00

 

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