Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in the Dressing Room pre Burnley

Hercs in the Dressing Room pre Burnley



We join the lads filing into the dressing room followed by Houllier*

Houllier: Bonjour gentleman, I 'ave been to see zis Burnley play and zey are terrible, really, zey stink up the pitch with zere awful, awful attempts at football. We will crush zem!

*Houllier pumps a hearty fist, the lads remain silent, staring at Houllier*

Houllier: Hmm, not ze reaction I was 'oping for. Did I mention zat I 'ear zey eat children!? Well, zey do. Evil zey are zese Burnley thugs. Now let's go out zere and beat zem!

*Houllier still gets no reaction*

Houllier: OK .... I see you are all intently focussed on the match. Emile, as usual I will be depending on you to score the goals.

Eagles: I'm Chris Eagles Mr.Houllier.

Houllier: And Ashley, if you could win a few free kicks and pass the ball to Emile, zat would be greatly appreciated.

Alexander: I'm Graham Alexander!

Houllier: Ho hoooo, you think I don't get your playing ze trick on ze new manager!? When I was a boy in France we would do zese things all ze time. Now Emile take off zis ridiculous wig.

Eagles: Yeaaaaarrrggghh!!

*Houllier wrenches at Eagles' hair*

Houllier: And I know all about zese amazing prosthetic masks.

Eagles: My Face! My beautiful face!

*Heskey and Young pop their heads around the door to check the commotion*

Heskey: Is everything OK in here, you're .... Boss! Why are you attacking Chris Eagles?!

Houllier: Because he is cunningly disguised as you Emile!

*Heskey and Young look each other, then back at the scene*

Young: Fabian! Surely you know that's not Emile in disguise.

*Delph releases Eagles hair and dusts his hands.*

Delph: Of course I do.

*Delph whistles to himself as he strolls out of the Burnley dressing room past Young and Heskey in the doorway*

Houllier: Hmmm, it appears zere has been some sort of mix up, well best of luck to you boys in our match.

*Houllier, Heskey and Young leave Burnley comforting a sobbing Eagles*



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Wednesday October 27 2010
Time: 1:25PM

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Foreign Owners - An Outsiders View - Competition

Sportswriter Bob Holmes has taken a look at the rise of foreign ownership in the English game and as well as acknowledging the often aired thoughts of the fans, he's also...

What Came First Lee Hendrie. The Chicken Or The Egg?

Lee on the atmosphere and fans last season and why Scott Sinclair had to leave. But is it really down to the fans?

Premier League Free Agents 2017

As the summer nears and contracts come to an end, should the club have an interest in any of the following free transfers from Premier League oppositions?

Bruce - January Cost Us

Manager Steve Bruce's early week interviews with the media are filtering through properly now and whilst he hasn't closed the door on Play Off promotion...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Vital Villa Player Of March
Suggested By: JP Fear
Baker6%
Chester3%
Johnstone13%
Taylor0%
Jedinak41%
Hutton13%
Hourihane1%
Lansbury0%
Adomah0%
Bjarnason16%
Amavi0%
Bree0%
Gardner0%
Kodjia7%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 38 24 6 8 78 38
2 Brighton 38 23 8 7 77 30
3 Huddersfield 37 22 5 10 71 4
4 Leeds Utd 38 21 6 11 69 16
5 Reading 38 20 7 11 67 2
6 Sheff Wed 38 18 8 12 62 9
7 Fulham 38 16 13 9 61 19
8 Norwich 38 16 9 13 57 9
9 Preston 38 15 12 11 57 6
10 Derby County 38 14 11 13 53 3
11 Barnsley 38 14 9 15 51 0
12 Aston Villa 38 13 12 13 51 0
13 Cardiff 38 14 9 15 51 -1
14 Brentford 38 14 8 16 50 3
15 Q.P.R. 38 14 8 16 50 -5
16 Wolves 37 12 9 16 45 -2
17 Ipswich 38 10 15 13 45 -9
18 Birmingham 38 11 12 15 45 -16
19 Bristol City 38 11 8 19 41 -3
20 Forest 38 11 8 19 41 -11
21 Burton 38 10 11 17 41 -14
22 Blackburn 38 9 13 16 40 -11
23 Wigan 38 8 10 20 34 -13
24 Rotherham 38 4 5 29 17 -54
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Vettel hoping for love affair with new Ferrari
Latest Vital Boxing News
McGoldrick Wins Professional Debut
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Apr 1 2017 3:00PM : Norwich City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 4 2017 7:45PM : Queens Park Rangers (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 8 2017 3:00PM : Burton Albion (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 15 2017 3:00PM : Reading (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 17 2017 2:45PM : Fulham (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 23 2017 12:00PM : Birmingham City (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear412
2.Pride of Lions315
3.sirdennis312
4.HeathfieldRoad1874295
5.JuanPabloAngel279
6.Sasquatch219
7.Silhillvilla177
8.Melon Donkey160
9.BodyButter150
10.DeanoVilla142
Write for Vital Football