UK time is: 02:23:31
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in the Dressing Room pre Burnley



We join the lads filing into the dressing room followed by Houllier*

Houllier: Bonjour gentleman, I 'ave been to see zis Burnley play and zey are terrible, really, zey stink up the pitch with zere awful, awful attempts at football. We will crush zem!

*Houllier pumps a hearty fist, the lads remain silent, staring at Houllier*

Houllier: Hmm, not ze reaction I was 'oping for. Did I mention zat I 'ear zey eat children!? Well, zey do. Evil zey are zese Burnley thugs. Now let's go out zere and beat zem!

*Houllier still gets no reaction*

Houllier: OK .... I see you are all intently focussed on the match. Emile, as usual I will be depending on you to score the goals.

Eagles: I'm Chris Eagles Mr.Houllier.

Houllier: And Ashley, if you could win a few free kicks and pass the ball to Emile, zat would be greatly appreciated.

Alexander: I'm Graham Alexander!

Houllier: Ho hoooo, you think I don't get your playing ze trick on ze new manager!? When I was a boy in France we would do zese things all ze time. Now Emile take off zis ridiculous wig.

Eagles: Yeaaaaarrrggghh!!

*Houllier wrenches at Eagles' hair*

Houllier: And I know all about zese amazing prosthetic masks.

Eagles: My Face! My beautiful face!

*Heskey and Young pop their heads around the door to check the commotion*

Heskey: Is everything OK in here, you're .... Boss! Why are you attacking Chris Eagles?!

Houllier: Because he is cunningly disguised as you Emile!

*Heskey and Young look each other, then back at the scene*

Young: Fabian! Surely you know that's not Emile in disguise.

*Delph releases Eagles hair and dusts his hands.*

Delph: Of course I do.

*Delph whistles to himself as he strolls out of the Burnley dressing room past Young and Heskey in the doorway*

Houllier: Hmmm, it appears zere has been some sort of mix up, well best of luck to you boys in our match.

*Houllier, Heskey and Young leave Burnley comforting a sobbing Eagles*




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday October 27 2010

Time: 1:25PM

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Villa Support 21st Minute Initiative (Thursday November 20 2014)

Injury Update Ahead Of Southampton (Thursday November 20 2014)

Villa In Talks With Justice For The 21 (Thursday November 20 2014)

The Stiliyan Petrov Foundation (Thursday November 20 2014)

Villa Fans Expecting High Profile Exits (Thursday November 20 2014)

Not 'The Villa Times' News 18/11/14 (Tuesday November 18 2014)

Okores & Vlaar To Exit The Sinking Ship? (Tuesday November 18 2014)

Something For The Weekend (471) (Friday November 14 2014)

Watkins Leaves On Loan (Thursday November 13 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 677
2. ClivetheVillan 646
3. The Fear 470
4. kefkat 235
5. Freeman14 181
6. sirdennis 151
7. Villan57 119
8. DeanoVilla 118
9. HeathfieldRoad1874 84
10. gator 81

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
13. WBA 11 3 4 4 -2 13
14. Sunderland 11 2 6 3 -7 12
15. Hull City 11 2 5 4 -2 11
16. Aston Villa 11 3 2 6 -11 11
17. Crystal Palace 11 2 3 6 -6 9
18. Leicester City 11 2 3 6 -7 9
19. Q.P.R. 11 2 2 7 -11 8

Breaking League News

Our Number One
Chelsea : 20/11/2014 18:53:00
Tell Us About Yourself - Kolagold25
Chelsea : 20/11/2014 18:47:00
Irvine - We Can Pull Off A Shock
WBA : 20/11/2014 18:25:00
Injury Boosts For Pearson
Leicester City : 20/11/2014 18:16:00
Villa Support 21st Minute Initiative
Aston Villa : 20/11/2014 17:59:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v Southampton (home) will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win 20%
Lose 80%
Draw 0%