Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea



*We join the lads frankly not doing anything in preparation for their match against Chelsea.*

Houllier: C'mon Everybody sing along.... 'Joe le taxi!....'

A.Young: Boss, we've been listening to 'Joe le taxi' on repeat for at least an hour straight now....

*Houllier holds up a CD*

Houllier: You would prefer Kraftwerk's 'Tour de France' again?

A.Young: No, I ...

Houllier: Lady Marmalade? With ze 'Voulez vous coucher avec moi?....'

A.Young: No!

Houllier: ce soir?

All the lads: No.

*Houllier rummages through his CDs*

Houllier: Kylie Minouge's 'Je ne sais pas pourquoi?' again? It is 'ow you say 'a classic'!

All the lads: NO!

Carew: Oh hell no!

A.Young: I just think we're being a bit lackadaisical in our approach to Chelsea is all.

Houllier: You could say 'laissez-faire'?

A.Young: Well I guess.

*the lads all wait in silence*

A.Young: Wait ... You actually want me to say laissez faire?

Houllier: Oui, now that you have butchered ma beautiful language with your fat english tounge we can continue. Now I have no concern with Chelsea, two reasons.

Gabby: No thanks boss, don't like raisins, they reak havoc with my tummy.

Houllier: Non, not raisins, reasons.

Gabby: Yeah... No raisins thanks. Tummy.

*Houllier jumps up and down*

Houllier: Reasons! Reasons!

Gabby: OK fine, I don't want to rock the boat just give me the raisins, but you're all going to be suffering at half time.

A.Young: He's saying 'reasons' Gabby. What are they boss?

Houllier: Reason number one, I remember Chelsea from my days at Liverpool, they are 'ow you say 'rubbish'

Friedel: Boss, I, um, things have changed a little since then....

Houllier: They've not changed so much I can't ship you down to Blackburn so fast!...

Friedel: OK, OK.... Um, what's the second reason?

Houllier: We 'ave Emile.

*Heskey nods from his chez-long whilst being fanned by one bikini model and fed grapes by another*

Heskey: Oh, Ashley ... How did England get on? I would liked to have watched the match but I was far to busy recounting all the goals I've scored recently.

Gabby: So... Where are my raisins?



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday October 15 2010
Time: 11:44AM

Comments

0
Hahahahahahahahahahah am loving the French Lessons i'm getting reading these! Takes me back to GCSE french in 93... lol. Heskey hat trick this week me thinks
nottinghamvillain
15/10/2010 11:58:00
0
Brilliant!!!
Valiant Villan™
15/10/2010 12:13:00
0
Raisins! Superb!
revdpete
15/10/2010 12:21:00
0
'fat english tongue'!!!!! lmao!! I'm sat waiting for an interview and had to hide my face from cracking up!! XD! These are class every single time! :D
Nel-A
15/10/2010 13:10:00
0
I was waiting for the Heskey bit... it certainly didn't disappoint!
lurman
15/10/2010 13:22:00
0
There's nothing wrong with a bit of Kraftwerk!
Villa b
15/10/2010 13:33:00
0
I love Tour de France by Kraftwerk, reminds me of the broom scene from Breakdance. Thanks for the comments guys, finally my GCSE in French is showing it's worth!
Hercs
15/10/2010 13:39:00
0
we do get some great stuff on Vital Villa!
The Fear
16/10/2010 12:10:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

The Villa Times - 22/03/2017 (Aston Villa News Round-up)

The latest news and views on Aston Villa via the uno fish ial one..

Championship Cost Per Goal So Far In 2016/17

The end of the Championship campaign of 2016/17 is only a month and a bit away from fans across the country but as we go in to the remaining weeks of the campaign...

The Vital Villa Man Of The Match - Wigan Away

The ... oh read the title!

I Am Haunted - Fear The Blogger

My latest blog and I'm haunted!

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

I have nothing to ask! I hate international breaks!
Suggested By: ;o)
Agree91%
Disagree3%
Whatever 6%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 38 24 6 8 78 38
2 Brighton 38 23 8 7 77 30
3 Huddersfield 37 22 5 10 71 4
4 Leeds Utd 38 21 6 11 69 16
5 Reading 38 20 7 11 67 2
6 Sheff Wed 38 18 8 12 62 9
7 Fulham 38 16 13 9 61 19
8 Norwich 38 16 9 13 57 9
9 Preston 38 15 12 11 57 6
10 Derby County 38 14 11 13 53 3
11 Barnsley 38 14 9 15 51 0
12 Aston Villa 38 13 12 13 51 0
13 Cardiff 38 14 9 15 51 -1
14 Brentford 38 14 8 16 50 3
15 Q.P.R. 38 14 8 16 50 -5
16 Wolves 37 12 9 16 45 -2
17 Ipswich 38 10 15 13 45 -9
18 Birmingham 38 11 12 15 45 -16
19 Bristol City 38 11 8 19 41 -3
20 Forest 38 11 8 19 41 -11
21 Burton 38 10 11 17 41 -14
22 Blackburn 38 9 13 16 40 -11
23 Wigan 38 8 10 20 34 -13
24 Rotherham 38 4 5 29 17 -54
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
McLaren would be winners if paired with Mercedes
Latest Vital Boxing News
Taylor on Under-Card of Crolla v Linares Promotion
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Apr 1 2017 3:00PM : Norwich City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 4 2017 7:45PM : Queens Park Rangers (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 8 2017 3:00PM : Burton Albion (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 15 2017 3:00PM : Reading (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 17 2017 2:45PM : Fulham (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 23 2017 12:00PM : Birmingham City (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear338
2.Pride of Lions271
3.sirdennis267
4.JuanPabloAngel236
5.HeathfieldRoad1874210
6.Sasquatch157
7.Silhillvilla150
8.Melon Donkey139
9.BodyButter125
10.DeanoVilla117
The Vital Football Members League