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Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea



*We join the lads frankly not doing anything in preparation for their match against Chelsea.*

Houllier: C'mon Everybody sing along.... 'Joe le taxi!....'

A.Young: Boss, we've been listening to 'Joe le taxi' on repeat for at least an hour straight now....

*Houllier holds up a CD*

Houllier: You would prefer Kraftwerk's 'Tour de France' again?

A.Young: No, I ...

Houllier: Lady Marmalade? With ze 'Voulez vous coucher avec moi?....'

A.Young: No!

Houllier: ce soir?

All the lads: No.

*Houllier rummages through his CDs*

Houllier: Kylie Minouge's 'Je ne sais pas pourquoi?' again? It is 'ow you say 'a classic'!

All the lads: NO!

Carew: Oh hell no!

A.Young: I just think we're being a bit lackadaisical in our approach to Chelsea is all.

Houllier: You could say 'laissez-faire'?

A.Young: Well I guess.

*the lads all wait in silence*

A.Young: Wait ... You actually want me to say laissez faire?

Houllier: Oui, now that you have butchered ma beautiful language with your fat english tounge we can continue. Now I have no concern with Chelsea, two reasons.

Gabby: No thanks boss, don't like raisins, they reak havoc with my tummy.

Houllier: Non, not raisins, reasons.

Gabby: Yeah... No raisins thanks. Tummy.

*Houllier jumps up and down*

Houllier: Reasons! Reasons!

Gabby: OK fine, I don't want to rock the boat just give me the raisins, but you're all going to be suffering at half time.

A.Young: He's saying 'reasons' Gabby. What are they boss?

Houllier: Reason number one, I remember Chelsea from my days at Liverpool, they are 'ow you say 'rubbish'

Friedel: Boss, I, um, things have changed a little since then....

Houllier: They've not changed so much I can't ship you down to Blackburn so fast!...

Friedel: OK, OK.... Um, what's the second reason?

Houllier: We 'ave Emile.

*Heskey nods from his chez-long whilst being fanned by one bikini model and fed grapes by another*

Heskey: Oh, Ashley ... How did England get on? I would liked to have watched the match but I was far to busy recounting all the goals I've scored recently.

Gabby: So... Where are my raisins?




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday October 15 2010

Time: 11:44AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Hahahahahahahahahahah am loving the French Lessons i'm getting reading these! Takes me back to GCSE french in 93... lol. Heskey hat trick this week me thinks
nottinghamvillain
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15/10/2010 11:58:00

Brilliant!!!
Valiant Villan™
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15/10/2010 12:13:00

Raisins! Superb!
revdpete
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15/10/2010 12:21:00

'fat english tongue'!!!!! lmao!! I'm sat waiting for an interview and had to hide my face from cracking up!! XD! These are class every single time! :D
Nel-A
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15/10/2010 13:10:00

I was waiting for the Heskey bit... it certainly didn't disappoint!
lurman
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15/10/2010 13:22:00

There's nothing wrong with a bit of Kraftwerk!
Villa b
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15/10/2010 13:33:00

I love Tour de France by Kraftwerk, reminds me of the broom scene from Breakdance. Thanks for the comments guys, finally my GCSE in French is showing it's worth!
Hercs
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15/10/2010 13:39:00

we do get some great stuff on Vital Villa!
The Fear
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16/10/2010 12:10:00

 

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