Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea



*We join the lads frankly not doing anything in preparation for their match against Chelsea.*

Houllier: C'mon Everybody sing along.... 'Joe le taxi!....'

A.Young: Boss, we've been listening to 'Joe le taxi' on repeat for at least an hour straight now....

*Houllier holds up a CD*

Houllier: You would prefer Kraftwerk's 'Tour de France' again?

A.Young: No, I ...

Houllier: Lady Marmalade? With ze 'Voulez vous coucher avec moi?....'

A.Young: No!

Houllier: ce soir?

All the lads: No.

*Houllier rummages through his CDs*

Houllier: Kylie Minouge's 'Je ne sais pas pourquoi?' again? It is 'ow you say 'a classic'!

All the lads: NO!

Carew: Oh hell no!

A.Young: I just think we're being a bit lackadaisical in our approach to Chelsea is all.

Houllier: You could say 'laissez-faire'?

A.Young: Well I guess.

*the lads all wait in silence*

A.Young: Wait ... You actually want me to say laissez faire?

Houllier: Oui, now that you have butchered ma beautiful language with your fat english tounge we can continue. Now I have no concern with Chelsea, two reasons.

Gabby: No thanks boss, don't like raisins, they reak havoc with my tummy.

Houllier: Non, not raisins, reasons.

Gabby: Yeah... No raisins thanks. Tummy.

*Houllier jumps up and down*

Houllier: Reasons! Reasons!

Gabby: OK fine, I don't want to rock the boat just give me the raisins, but you're all going to be suffering at half time.

A.Young: He's saying 'reasons' Gabby. What are they boss?

Houllier: Reason number one, I remember Chelsea from my days at Liverpool, they are 'ow you say 'rubbish'

Friedel: Boss, I, um, things have changed a little since then....

Houllier: They've not changed so much I can't ship you down to Blackburn so fast!...

Friedel: OK, OK.... Um, what's the second reason?

Houllier: We 'ave Emile.

*Heskey nods from his chez-long whilst being fanned by one bikini model and fed grapes by another*

Heskey: Oh, Ashley ... How did England get on? I would liked to have watched the match but I was far to busy recounting all the goals I've scored recently.

Gabby: So... Where are my raisins?



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday October 15 2010
Time: 11:44AM

Comments

0
Hahahahahahahahahahah am loving the French Lessons i'm getting reading these! Takes me back to GCSE french in 93... lol. Heskey hat trick this week me thinks
nottinghamvillain
15/10/2010 11:58:00
0
Brilliant!!!
Valiant Villan™
15/10/2010 12:13:00
0
Raisins! Superb!
revdpete
15/10/2010 12:21:00
0
'fat english tongue'!!!!! lmao!! I'm sat waiting for an interview and had to hide my face from cracking up!! XD! These are class every single time! :D
Nel-A
15/10/2010 13:10:00
0
I was waiting for the Heskey bit... it certainly didn't disappoint!
lurman
15/10/2010 13:22:00
0
There's nothing wrong with a bit of Kraftwerk!
Villa b
15/10/2010 13:33:00
0
I love Tour de France by Kraftwerk, reminds me of the broom scene from Breakdance. Thanks for the comments guys, finally my GCSE in French is showing it's worth!
Hercs
15/10/2010 13:39:00
0
we do get some great stuff on Vital Villa!
The Fear
16/10/2010 12:10:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Nuneaton Return For Petrov?

It's being reported that Stiliyan Petrov could be set for a role and a return to the game with Nuneaton Town.

Tshibola's Villa Confidence

Newcastle point saver Aaron Tshibola has said he believes that with growing confidence, Villa will be a 'real force' this season once we find some real consistency...

Di Matteo Reflects On Newcastle

Roberto Di Matteo has reflected on the draw against Newcastle at the weekend, and he's hoping how we ended that game is now how we start playing from the beginning.

Stan Collymore, Annoying Or What!

2big4seatswannastand on Collymore giving Jack (or anyone) advice..

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Newcastle MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Gollini14%
Chester1%
Elphick1%
Baker1%
Adomah0%
Westwood2%
Jedinak1%
Amavi1%
Bacuna0%
Kodjia34%
Ayew29%
Sub - Tshibola12%
Sub - Gestede0%
Sub - Hepburn-Murphy4%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Norwich 9 6 2 1 20 6
2 Huddersfield 9 6 1 2 19 4
3 Brighton 9 5 2 2 17 6
4 Reading 9 5 2 2 17 0
5 Newcastle 9 5 1 3 16 10
6 Birmingham 9 4 4 1 16 4
7 Barnsley 9 5 0 4 15 6
8 Wolves 9 4 3 2 15 3
9 Brentford 9 4 2 3 14 6
10 Bristol City 9 4 2 3 14 5
11 Sheff Wed 9 4 2 3 14 -1
12 Leeds Utd 9 4 1 4 13 -1
13 Fulham 9 3 4 2 13 -2
14 Ipswich 9 3 3 3 12 0
15 Forest 9 3 2 4 11 -2
16 Q.P.R. 9 3 2 4 11 -4
17 Aston Villa 9 1 6 2 9 0
18 Burton 9 2 3 4 9 -2
19 Preston 9 3 0 6 9 -4
20 Blackburn 9 2 2 5 8 -6
21 Cardiff 9 2 2 5 8 -7
22 Derby County 9 1 3 5 6 -6
23 Rotherham 9 1 3 5 6 -12
24 Wigan 9 1 2 6 5 -3
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Drivers make tyre selections for Malaysia
Latest Vital Boxing News
Joshua v Klitschko?
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Sep 27 2016 7:45PM : Barnsley (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 1 2016 3:00PM : Preston North End (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 15 2016 5:30PM : Wolverhampton Wanderers (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 18 2016 8:00PM : Reading (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 22 2016 3:00PM : Fulham (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 30 2016 12:00PM : Birmingham City (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear574
2.glensider335
3.sirdennis316
4.Fulford265
5.Silhillvilla216
6.Melon Donkey198
7.kefkat167
8.JuanPabloAngel136
9.villasince67135
10.DeanoVilla126
Write for Vital Football