Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

*We join the lads frankly not doing anything in preparation for their match against Chelsea.*

Houllier: C'mon Everybody sing along.... 'Joe le taxi!....'

A.Young: Boss, we've been listening to 'Joe le taxi' on repeat for at least an hour straight now....

*Houllier holds up a CD*

Houllier: You would prefer Kraftwerk's 'Tour de France' again?

A.Young: No, I ...

Houllier: Lady Marmalade? With ze 'Voulez vous coucher avec moi?....'

A.Young: No!

Houllier: ce soir?

All the lads: No.

*Houllier rummages through his CDs*

Houllier: Kylie Minouge's 'Je ne sais pas pourquoi?' again? It is 'ow you say 'a classic'!

All the lads: NO!

Carew: Oh hell no!

A.Young: I just think we're being a bit lackadaisical in our approach to Chelsea is all.

Houllier: You could say 'laissez-faire'?

A.Young: Well I guess.

*the lads all wait in silence*

A.Young: Wait ... You actually want me to say laissez faire?

Houllier: Oui, now that you have butchered ma beautiful language with your fat english tounge we can continue. Now I have no concern with Chelsea, two reasons.

Gabby: No thanks boss, don't like raisins, they reak havoc with my tummy.

Houllier: Non, not raisins, reasons.

Gabby: Yeah... No raisins thanks. Tummy.

*Houllier jumps up and down*

Houllier: Reasons! Reasons!

Gabby: OK fine, I don't want to rock the boat just give me the raisins, but you're all going to be suffering at half time.

A.Young: He's saying 'reasons' Gabby. What are they boss?

Houllier: Reason number one, I remember Chelsea from my days at Liverpool, they are 'ow you say 'rubbish'

Friedel: Boss, I, um, things have changed a little since then....

Houllier: They've not changed so much I can't ship you down to Blackburn so fast!...

Friedel: OK, OK.... Um, what's the second reason?

Houllier: We 'ave Emile.

*Heskey nods from his chez-long whilst being fanned by one bikini model and fed grapes by another*

Heskey: Oh, Ashley ... How did England get on? I would liked to have watched the match but I was far to busy recounting all the goals I've scored recently.

Gabby: So... Where are my raisins?

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