Date:Monday October 4 2010
*We join the lads disappointed with the result against Spurs. Heskey enters*
Heskey: Hi guys, sorry I couldn't stick around, had to get to a book signing. You know how it is.
A.Young: Book signing?... You don't even have a book out...
Heskey: I was signing any book Ashley, when your as popular as me that's just how it is. Anyway I trust you all blew the lead I gave you. It does get tiring you know, scoring all the goals.
*Albrighton raises his hand.*
Heskey: Marc? You have a book you want signed? Or perhaps your shirt?
Albrighton: Um... No ... Mr. Heskey.. Um sir... I just wanted to say that it was me who scored the goal and....
Heskey: What!? I think you'll find that my goal bound effort simply deflected off your foot and in. I mean did you see me? I charged down Bassong he dared wrestle me, me! Emile Heskey, can you believe it? So I vanquished the fiend as I do any defender, leaving him broken, in a crumpled heap of ashes and pain, then I duly made my way down the wing with the grace and speed of a gazelle yet with the power and majesty of a lion ....
*Heskey waxes lyrical about his effort for 30 minutes, many of the lads have fallen asleep or are yawning*
Heskey: .... with all the accuracy of a physicist off your tiny frame and in.
Carew: Oh come on Emile, give the lad his due.
Heskey: Due? Due!? The only thing 'due' around here is a goal from one of you other so called 'strikers'. Did you hear what the crowd were chanting today John? 'John Carew, Carew. He's bigger than me and you. He'll probably squander any chance we get, not like Heskey. He's fantastic.'
Carew: What!? That doesn't even rhyme!
Heskey: Poems don't have to rhyme John, I see your knowledge of english literature is about as extensive as your goal scoring ability.
*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter. Carew rolls his eyes. Meanwhile Dunne is hiding with his eyes peeping slightly over a table*
A.Young: Richard .... Are you ... OK?
Dunne: Sssssh! He'll hear you!
A.Young: He who?
Dunne: Van der Vaart ... He's everywhere.
A.Young: Richard the match is over you don't have to ...
*Van der Vaart's head pops out of Young's shirt neck and turns to his face*
VDV: Goedemorgen! Hey Ashley, your shirt is way baggy ja? You may benefit from a tighter fit.
*Ashley Young and Dunne scream*
Date:Monday October 4 2010
Vital Villa Man Of The Match v Bournemouth FA Cup (Wednesday January 28 2015)
Fans Have A False Narrative - Lambert STAYING (Wednesday January 28 2015)
Aston Villa Is A 'Classic Car` Football Club (Wednesday January 28 2015)
Jack Needs To Tweet About Eggs (Tuesday January 27 2015)
Okore On Mr Reliable Hutton (Tuesday January 27 2015)
Delph Talks Twinkletoes (Tuesday January 27 2015)
Allen Rubbishes Aston Villa Interest (Tuesday January 27 2015)
Steer Wants Yeovil Extension (Tuesday January 27 2015)
Villa's Tuesday Transfer Round Up - 27/1/15 (Tuesday January 27 2015)
U21s Snatch Blackburn Victory (Tuesday January 27 2015)
|4.||Pride of Lions||636|
|Leicester City||1||-||0||Aston Villa|
|Aston Villa||0||-||0||Crystal Palace|
|Aston Villa||1||-||1||Man Utd|
|13. Crystal Palace||22||5||8||9||-8||23|
|15. Aston Villa||22||5||7||10||-14||22|
|18. Hull City||22||4||7||11||-10||19|
|Vital Villa Man Of The Match v Bournemouth FA Cup
» Aston Villa : 28/01/2015 11:54:00
|Fans Have A False Narrative - Lambert STAYING
» Aston Villa : 28/01/2015 11:35:00
|Ukrainian winger holds out for Everton move
» Everton : 28/01/2015 11:00:00
|Martinez not a fan of January market
» Everton : 28/01/2015 10:35:00
|Should Diego Expect the Worst?
» Chelsea : 28/01/2015 10:10:00