Date:Monday October 4 2010
*We join the lads disappointed with the result against Spurs. Heskey enters*
Heskey: Hi guys, sorry I couldn't stick around, had to get to a book signing. You know how it is.
A.Young: Book signing?... You don't even have a book out...
Heskey: I was signing any book Ashley, when your as popular as me that's just how it is. Anyway I trust you all blew the lead I gave you. It does get tiring you know, scoring all the goals.
*Albrighton raises his hand.*
Heskey: Marc? You have a book you want signed? Or perhaps your shirt?
Albrighton: Um... No ... Mr. Heskey.. Um sir... I just wanted to say that it was me who scored the goal and....
Heskey: What!? I think you'll find that my goal bound effort simply deflected off your foot and in. I mean did you see me? I charged down Bassong he dared wrestle me, me! Emile Heskey, can you believe it? So I vanquished the fiend as I do any defender, leaving him broken, in a crumpled heap of ashes and pain, then I duly made my way down the wing with the grace and speed of a gazelle yet with the power and majesty of a lion ....
*Heskey waxes lyrical about his effort for 30 minutes, many of the lads have fallen asleep or are yawning*
Heskey: .... with all the accuracy of a physicist off your tiny frame and in.
Carew: Oh come on Emile, give the lad his due.
Heskey: Due? Due!? The only thing 'due' around here is a goal from one of you other so called 'strikers'. Did you hear what the crowd were chanting today John? 'John Carew, Carew. He's bigger than me and you. He'll probably squander any chance we get, not like Heskey. He's fantastic.'
Carew: What!? That doesn't even rhyme!
Heskey: Poems don't have to rhyme John, I see your knowledge of english literature is about as extensive as your goal scoring ability.
*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter. Carew rolls his eyes. Meanwhile Dunne is hiding with his eyes peeping slightly over a table*
A.Young: Richard .... Are you ... OK?
Dunne: Sssssh! He'll hear you!
A.Young: He who?
Dunne: Van der Vaart ... He's everywhere.
A.Young: Richard the match is over you don't have to ...
*Van der Vaart's head pops out of Young's shirt neck and turns to his face*
VDV: Goedemorgen! Hey Ashley, your shirt is way baggy ja? You may benefit from a tighter fit.
*Ashley Young and Dunne scream*
Date:Monday October 4 2010
A Brief Sherwood Round Up (Saturday May 23 2015)
Pre Burnley Injury News (Saturday May 23 2015)
Villa In The 90s (Saturday May 23 2015)
Sherwood - Build After Burnley (Friday May 22 2015)
Sherwood Talks Delph & Sinclair (Friday May 22 2015)
No Burnley Party For Sherwood (Friday May 22 2015)
Gardner Wants To Be A One Club Man (Friday May 22 2015)
Benteke Looking For Burnley Joy (Friday May 22 2015)
Delph Crowned Player Of The Year (Friday May 22 2015)
Mystic Mug v Lawro - Aston Villa v Burnley (Friday May 22 2015)
|2.||Pride of Lions||931|
|Aston Villa||1||-||0||West Ham|
|Man City||3||-||2||Aston Villa|
|14. Leicester City||37||10||8||19||-13||38|
|16. Aston Villa||37||10||8||19||-25||38|
|18. Hull City||37||8||10||19||-18||34|
|Clement Set for Derby County Job!
» Chelsea : 24/05/2015 10:03:01
|Not For Us At That Price (I`d Hope)
» Chelsea : 24/05/2015 09:54:01
|The Men in Black - Leicester City v QPR
» Q.P.R. : 24/05/2015 09:53:01
|Who R Ya - Leicester City
» Q.P.R. : 24/05/2015 09:43:01
|Match Day Moments - Sunderland (h)
» Chelsea : 24/05/2015 09:42:00