Date:Monday October 4 2010
*We join the lads disappointed with the result against Spurs. Heskey enters*
Heskey: Hi guys, sorry I couldn't stick around, had to get to a book signing. You know how it is.
A.Young: Book signing?... You don't even have a book out...
Heskey: I was signing any book Ashley, when your as popular as me that's just how it is. Anyway I trust you all blew the lead I gave you. It does get tiring you know, scoring all the goals.
*Albrighton raises his hand.*
Heskey: Marc? You have a book you want signed? Or perhaps your shirt?
Albrighton: Um... No ... Mr. Heskey.. Um sir... I just wanted to say that it was me who scored the goal and....
Heskey: What!? I think you'll find that my goal bound effort simply deflected off your foot and in. I mean did you see me? I charged down Bassong he dared wrestle me, me! Emile Heskey, can you believe it? So I vanquished the fiend as I do any defender, leaving him broken, in a crumpled heap of ashes and pain, then I duly made my way down the wing with the grace and speed of a gazelle yet with the power and majesty of a lion ....
*Heskey waxes lyrical about his effort for 30 minutes, many of the lads have fallen asleep or are yawning*
Heskey: .... with all the accuracy of a physicist off your tiny frame and in.
Carew: Oh come on Emile, give the lad his due.
Heskey: Due? Due!? The only thing 'due' around here is a goal from one of you other so called 'strikers'. Did you hear what the crowd were chanting today John? 'John Carew, Carew. He's bigger than me and you. He'll probably squander any chance we get, not like Heskey. He's fantastic.'
Carew: What!? That doesn't even rhyme!
Heskey: Poems don't have to rhyme John, I see your knowledge of english literature is about as extensive as your goal scoring ability.
*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter. Carew rolls his eyes. Meanwhile Dunne is hiding with his eyes peeping slightly over a table*
A.Young: Richard .... Are you ... OK?
Dunne: Sssssh! He'll hear you!
A.Young: He who?
Dunne: Van der Vaart ... He's everywhere.
A.Young: Richard the match is over you don't have to ...
*Van der Vaart's head pops out of Young's shirt neck and turns to his face*
VDV: Goedemorgen! Hey Ashley, your shirt is way baggy ja? You may benefit from a tighter fit.
*Ashley Young and Dunne scream*
Date:Monday October 4 2010
Lambert Speaks Following Contract Extension (Wednesday September 17 2014)
Paul Lambert Extends Villa Stay (Wednesday September 17 2014)
Robinson Loaned To Preston (Tuesday September 16 2014)
Hutton - I Want To Take This Opportunity (Tuesday September 16 2014)
Bombshell - Hutton Signs Three Year Deal (Tuesday September 16 2014)
Senderos In Team Of The Week Nod (Monday September 15 2014)
Senderos & Gabby Respond To Liverpool Win (Monday September 15 2014)
Benteke Returns To Full Training (Sunday September 14 2014)
Three Thoroughly Deserved Points For Lambert (Sunday September 14 2014)
Stats: Liverpool v Aston Villa (Saturday September 13 2014)
|2.||Pride of Lions||468|
|4.||Villan Of The North||214|
|Aston Villa||2||-||1||Hull City|
|2. Aston Villa||4||3||1||0||+3||10|
|5. Man City||4||2||1||1||+3||7|
|Juventus Interest Cooled!
» Man Utd : 18/09/2014 18:27:00
|Hammers Still After That First Home Win!
» West Ham : 18/09/2014 16:58:00
|Collison Joins Championship Outfit!
» West Ham : 18/09/2014 16:39:00
|The cause of our defensive woes
» Chelsea : 18/09/2014 16:37:00
|Pardew in Stats
» Newcastle : 18/09/2014 13:11:00