Date:Monday October 4 2010
*We join the lads disappointed with the result against Spurs. Heskey enters*
Heskey: Hi guys, sorry I couldn't stick around, had to get to a book signing. You know how it is.
A.Young: Book signing?... You don't even have a book out...
Heskey: I was signing any book Ashley, when your as popular as me that's just how it is. Anyway I trust you all blew the lead I gave you. It does get tiring you know, scoring all the goals.
*Albrighton raises his hand.*
Heskey: Marc? You have a book you want signed? Or perhaps your shirt?
Albrighton: Um... No ... Mr. Heskey.. Um sir... I just wanted to say that it was me who scored the goal and....
Heskey: What!? I think you'll find that my goal bound effort simply deflected off your foot and in. I mean did you see me? I charged down Bassong he dared wrestle me, me! Emile Heskey, can you believe it? So I vanquished the fiend as I do any defender, leaving him broken, in a crumpled heap of ashes and pain, then I duly made my way down the wing with the grace and speed of a gazelle yet with the power and majesty of a lion ....
*Heskey waxes lyrical about his effort for 30 minutes, many of the lads have fallen asleep or are yawning*
Heskey: .... with all the accuracy of a physicist off your tiny frame and in.
Carew: Oh come on Emile, give the lad his due.
Heskey: Due? Due!? The only thing 'due' around here is a goal from one of you other so called 'strikers'. Did you hear what the crowd were chanting today John? 'John Carew, Carew. He's bigger than me and you. He'll probably squander any chance we get, not like Heskey. He's fantastic.'
Carew: What!? That doesn't even rhyme!
Heskey: Poems don't have to rhyme John, I see your knowledge of english literature is about as extensive as your goal scoring ability.
*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter. Carew rolls his eyes. Meanwhile Dunne is hiding with his eyes peeping slightly over a table*
A.Young: Richard .... Are you ... OK?
Dunne: Sssssh! He'll hear you!
A.Young: He who?
Dunne: Van der Vaart ... He's everywhere.
A.Young: Richard the match is over you don't have to ...
*Van der Vaart's head pops out of Young's shirt neck and turns to his face*
VDV: Goedemorgen! Hey Ashley, your shirt is way baggy ja? You may benefit from a tighter fit.
*Ashley Young and Dunne scream*
Date:Monday October 4 2010
Delph Must Be Kept - Poll Results (Thursday October 2 2014)
Football vs Golf (Wednesday October 1 2014)
The Villa Times - 30/09/2014 (Tuesday September 30 2014)
Which Villan Would You Most Like To Keep? (Monday September 29 2014)
U21s - Villa 3-0 Bolton (Monday September 29 2014)
Benteke Steps Up His Fitness (Monday September 29 2014)
The Vital Villa Fantasy League Table (Monday September 29 2014)
Lambert Content Following Chelsea Loss (Sunday September 28 2014)
Stats: Chelsea v Aston Villa (Saturday September 27 2014)
Vital Villa Match Day - Villa Away To Chelsea (Saturday September 27 2014)
|2.||Pride of Lions||42|
|Aston Villa||2||-||1||Hull City|
|3. Man City||6||3||2||1||5||11|
|6. Aston Villa||6||3||1||2||-3||10|
|7. Man Utd||6||2||2||2||2||8|
|9. Crystal Palace||6||2||2||2||0||8|
» Arsenal : 02/10/2014 13:16:00
|Delph Must Be Kept - Poll Results
» Aston Villa : 02/10/2014 12:30:00
|Everton fly out to Russia without key players
» Everton : 02/10/2014 10:50:00
|Liverpool: Rodgers Bemoans 'Soft' Goal
» Liverpool : 02/10/2014 08:50:00
» Liverpool : 02/10/2014 08:00:00