Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Spurs

Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Spurs

*We join the lads preparing for Spurs, Houllier enters*

Houllier: Bonjour ma deja vus

*the lads look at each other, Houllier stops in shock as he eyes NRC, Sidwell and Delph at a table*

Houllier: What is zis!? I will not have gambling in ze dressing room!

NRC: Oh, don't worry boss, it's just a bit of 'Go Fish' and we're not using money...

*Houllier takes Delph's hand of cards off him and examines them*

Houllier: And ... These ... zey are .... FIFA Yellow cards?

Sidwell: Yeah, we added the suits and numbers ourselves.

*they all grin proudly*

Houllier: You have amassed an 'ole deck of yellow playing cards between you!?

Delph: No.

*Houllier sighs with relief*

NRC: Two.

Delph: Well, with no jokers.

*NRC waves the unopened other box of cards*

Houllier: Mon Dieu, zis is terrible!

Sidwell: Not really, I mean most standard games don't use jokers anyway and.....

Houllier: Non! Zat you 'ave zis number of cards!

NRC: Yeah well, we were thinking of springing for another one but we thought three decks would just encourage cheating so...

Houllier: Non zere are too many!

NRC: Oh....

Delph: Too many? But how would you remember you've played a match if you don't get a yellow card?

Houllier: With your memory Fabian.

Delph: Oh yeah, hadn't really thought about it like that.

Sidwell: Hang on, are you saying you can actually play a match and NOT get a yellow card?

Houllier: Yes... Well, no, not for you Steve but for most players zis is possible.

Heskey: Am I getting the goals in today as per boss?

Houllier: Oui Emile.

Heskey: Good, I've been working on a few celebrations, what do you think of this one?

*Heskey pulls a rubber Carew mask from his shorts and lifts his shirt to reveal the word 'Finally!' on his vest.*

Heskey: See what I did ther John? I made it look like YOU scored for once.

*Carew seethes*

Heskey: Whoa now John .... You wouldn't punch yourself in the face would you?

*minutes later*

Paramedic: We're losing him!

Date:Friday October 1 2010
Time: 12:41PM


*Heskey pulls a rubber Carew mask from his shorts and lifts his shirt to reveal the word 'Finally!' on his vest.* priceless
01/10/2010 13:10:00
Can you get those masks in the club shop?
Villa b
01/10/2010 13:35:00
Yes Villa b, but they're unavailable most the time then half the time they are there they don't look right.
01/10/2010 13:40:00
Superb as ever mate.
01/10/2010 13:51:00
Another good 'un Hercs. Looking forward to the dressing room after the Tottenham game article, following another three pointer for the claret and blues.
01/10/2010 17:27:00
a laugh a second, thanks Hercs
02/10/2010 14:33:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment


Recent Aston Villa Articles

Not 'The Villa Times' News 1/12/15

December 1st, a new month, and things around Villa are as icey as the weather.

U21s - Villa 2-2 Blackburn

Gordon Cowans' Under 21 side played out a two all draw in last night's fixture but hark...their is mention of Libor Kozak!

Garde Rallies The Troops - Richards Rallies Amavi

Not an awful lot of news the last few days so to keep me occupied have two interviews from manager Remi Garde and skipper Micah Richards.

Villa Fan In SHOCK Attempt At Positivity

Your thoughts Villans, clutching at straws I know, but do you have any further positives to throw my way please?

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Mike Field
Steve Wade
Turkish Penguin
Chris Heath
M Calucar
JuanPablo Angel

Current Poll (see more polls)

Watford MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Sub - Traore19%
Sub - Gestede0%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Man City 14 9 2 3 29 16
2 Leicester City 14 8 5 1 29 8
3 Man Utd 14 8 4 2 28 10
4 Arsenal 14 8 3 3 27 12
5 Spurs 14 6 7 1 25 13
6 Liverpool 14 6 5 3 23 3
7 Crystal Palace 14 7 1 6 22 5
8 West Ham 14 6 4 4 22 4
9 Everton 14 5 6 3 21 8
10 Southampton 14 5 5 4 20 3
11 Watford 14 5 4 5 19 -1
12 Stoke 14 5 4 5 19 -3
13 WBA 14 5 3 6 18 -5
14 Chelsea 14 4 3 7 15 -6
15 Swansea 14 3 5 6 14 -5
16 Norwich 14 3 4 7 13 -8
17 Sunderland 14 3 3 8 12 -10
18 AFC Bournemouth 14 2 4 8 10 -13
19 Newcastle 14 2 4 8 10 -16
20 Aston Villa 14 1 2 11 5 -15
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Hamilton questions Mercedes tyre strategy
Latest Vital Boxing News
Wilder Wants Fury Unification Bout!
The Vital Football Members League

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Dec 5 2015 3:00PM : Southampton (a)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 13 2015 1:30PM : Arsenal (H)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 19 2015 5:30PM : Newcastle United (a)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 26 2015 3:00PM : West Ham United (H)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 28 2015 3:00PM : Norwich City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Jan 2 2016 3:00PM : Sunderland (a)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

1.Pride of Lions27
5.The Fear4
7.Juan Mourep4
Vital Football Comment