Aston Villa - Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Spurs
UK time is: 10:35:58
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Spurs



*We join the lads preparing for Spurs, Houllier enters*

Houllier: Bonjour ma deja vus

*the lads look at each other, Houllier stops in shock as he eyes NRC, Sidwell and Delph at a table*

Houllier: What is zis!? I will not have gambling in ze dressing room!

NRC: Oh, don't worry boss, it's just a bit of 'Go Fish' and we're not using money...

*Houllier takes Delph's hand of cards off him and examines them*

Houllier: And ... These ... zey are .... FIFA Yellow cards?

Sidwell: Yeah, we added the suits and numbers ourselves.

*they all grin proudly*

Houllier: You have amassed an 'ole deck of yellow playing cards between you!?

Delph: No.

*Houllier sighs with relief*

NRC: Two.

Delph: Well, with no jokers.

*NRC waves the unopened other box of cards*

Houllier: Mon Dieu, zis is terrible!

Sidwell: Not really, I mean most standard games don't use jokers anyway and.....

Houllier: Non! Zat you 'ave zis number of cards!

NRC: Yeah well, we were thinking of springing for another one but we thought three decks would just encourage cheating so...

Houllier: Non zere are too many!

NRC: Oh....

Delph: Too many? But how would you remember you've played a match if you don't get a yellow card?

Houllier: With your memory Fabian.

Delph: Oh yeah, hadn't really thought about it like that.

Sidwell: Hang on, are you saying you can actually play a match and NOT get a yellow card?

Houllier: Yes... Well, no, not for you Steve but for most players zis is possible.

Heskey: Am I getting the goals in today as per boss?

Houllier: Oui Emile.

Heskey: Good, I've been working on a few celebrations, what do you think of this one?

*Heskey pulls a rubber Carew mask from his shorts and lifts his shirt to reveal the word 'Finally!' on his vest.*

Heskey: See what I did ther John? I made it look like YOU scored for once.

*Carew seethes*

Heskey: Whoa now John .... You wouldn't punch yourself in the face would you?

*minutes later*

Paramedic: We're losing him!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday October 1 2010

Time: 12:41PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
*Heskey pulls a rubber Carew mask from his shorts and lifts his shirt to reveal the word 'Finally!' on his vest.* priceless
intox
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 13:10:00

Can you get those masks in the club shop?
Villa b
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 13:35:00

Yes Villa b, but they're unavailable most the time then half the time they are there they don't look right.
Hercs
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 13:40:00

Superb as ever mate.
revdpete
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 13:51:00

Another good 'un Hercs. Looking forward to the dressing room after the Tottenham game article, following another three pointer for the claret and blues.
glensider
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 17:27:00

a laugh a second, thanks Hercs
Charizma
Report Abuse
02/10/2010 14:33:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Stats: Aston Villa v Burnley (Sunday May 24 2015)

A Brief Sherwood Round Up (Saturday May 23 2015)

Pre Burnley Injury News (Saturday May 23 2015)

Villa In The 90s (Saturday May 23 2015)

Sherwood - Build After Burnley (Friday May 22 2015)

Sherwood Talks Delph & Sinclair (Friday May 22 2015)

No Burnley Party For Sherwood (Friday May 22 2015)

Benteke Looking For Burnley Joy (Friday May 22 2015)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 996
2. ClivetheVillan 987
3. col8 462
4. kefkat 404
5. The Fear 354
6. thefacehead 275
7. Fulford 212
8. BodyButter 203
9. HeathfieldRoad1874 192
10. sirdennis 169

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
14. Leicester City 38 11 8 19 -9 41
15. Newcastle 38 10 9 19 -23 39
16. Sunderland 38 7 17 14 -22 38
17. Aston Villa 38 10 8 20 -26 38
18. Hull City 38 8 11 19 -18 35
19. Burnley 38 7 12 19 -25 33
20. Q.P.R. 38 8 6 24 -31 30

Breaking League News

Unbelievably Stupid!
Man Utd : 25/05/2015 10:10:00
The Ped Report...City 2-0 Southampton
Man City : 25/05/2015 10:00:00
Youngster Set to Leave!
Man Utd : 25/05/2015 09:59:00
Former Hammer is Favourite for the Post
West Ham : 25/05/2015 09:53:01
Scandalous!
Chelsea : 25/05/2015 09:47:01

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Burnley MotM
Suggested By:  MF
Steer 3%
Bacuna 0%
Vlaar 4%
Baker 0%
N'Zogbia 0%
Cleverley 0%
Westwood 0%
Delph 59%
Agbonlahor 0%
Benteke 4%
Grealish 13%
Sub - Sinclair 4%
Sub - Hutton 13%