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Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Spurs



*We join the lads preparing for Spurs, Houllier enters*

Houllier: Bonjour ma deja vus

*the lads look at each other, Houllier stops in shock as he eyes NRC, Sidwell and Delph at a table*

Houllier: What is zis!? I will not have gambling in ze dressing room!

NRC: Oh, don't worry boss, it's just a bit of 'Go Fish' and we're not using money...

*Houllier takes Delph's hand of cards off him and examines them*

Houllier: And ... These ... zey are .... FIFA Yellow cards?

Sidwell: Yeah, we added the suits and numbers ourselves.

*they all grin proudly*

Houllier: You have amassed an 'ole deck of yellow playing cards between you!?

Delph: No.

*Houllier sighs with relief*

NRC: Two.

Delph: Well, with no jokers.

*NRC waves the unopened other box of cards*

Houllier: Mon Dieu, zis is terrible!

Sidwell: Not really, I mean most standard games don't use jokers anyway and.....

Houllier: Non! Zat you 'ave zis number of cards!

NRC: Yeah well, we were thinking of springing for another one but we thought three decks would just encourage cheating so...

Houllier: Non zere are too many!

NRC: Oh....

Delph: Too many? But how would you remember you've played a match if you don't get a yellow card?

Houllier: With your memory Fabian.

Delph: Oh yeah, hadn't really thought about it like that.

Sidwell: Hang on, are you saying you can actually play a match and NOT get a yellow card?

Houllier: Yes... Well, no, not for you Steve but for most players zis is possible.

Heskey: Am I getting the goals in today as per boss?

Houllier: Oui Emile.

Heskey: Good, I've been working on a few celebrations, what do you think of this one?

*Heskey pulls a rubber Carew mask from his shorts and lifts his shirt to reveal the word 'Finally!' on his vest.*

Heskey: See what I did ther John? I made it look like YOU scored for once.

*Carew seethes*

Heskey: Whoa now John .... You wouldn't punch yourself in the face would you?

*minutes later*

Paramedic: We're losing him!




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday October 1 2010

Time: 12:41PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
*Heskey pulls a rubber Carew mask from his shorts and lifts his shirt to reveal the word 'Finally!' on his vest.* priceless
intox
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01/10/2010 13:10:00

Can you get those masks in the club shop?
Villa b
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01/10/2010 13:35:00

Yes Villa b, but they're unavailable most the time then half the time they are there they don't look right.
Hercs
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01/10/2010 13:40:00

Superb as ever mate.
revdpete
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01/10/2010 13:51:00

Another good 'un Hercs. Looking forward to the dressing room after the Tottenham game article, following another three pointer for the claret and blues.
glensider
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01/10/2010 17:27:00

a laugh a second, thanks Hercs
Charizma
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02/10/2010 14:33:00

 

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