UK time is: 01:56:57
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in The Dressing Room Pre Spurs



*We join the lads preparing for Spurs, Houllier enters*

Houllier: Bonjour ma deja vus

*the lads look at each other, Houllier stops in shock as he eyes NRC, Sidwell and Delph at a table*

Houllier: What is zis!? I will not have gambling in ze dressing room!

NRC: Oh, don't worry boss, it's just a bit of 'Go Fish' and we're not using money...

*Houllier takes Delph's hand of cards off him and examines them*

Houllier: And ... These ... zey are .... FIFA Yellow cards?

Sidwell: Yeah, we added the suits and numbers ourselves.

*they all grin proudly*

Houllier: You have amassed an 'ole deck of yellow playing cards between you!?

Delph: No.

*Houllier sighs with relief*

NRC: Two.

Delph: Well, with no jokers.

*NRC waves the unopened other box of cards*

Houllier: Mon Dieu, zis is terrible!

Sidwell: Not really, I mean most standard games don't use jokers anyway and.....

Houllier: Non! Zat you 'ave zis number of cards!

NRC: Yeah well, we were thinking of springing for another one but we thought three decks would just encourage cheating so...

Houllier: Non zere are too many!

NRC: Oh....

Delph: Too many? But how would you remember you've played a match if you don't get a yellow card?

Houllier: With your memory Fabian.

Delph: Oh yeah, hadn't really thought about it like that.

Sidwell: Hang on, are you saying you can actually play a match and NOT get a yellow card?

Houllier: Yes... Well, no, not for you Steve but for most players zis is possible.

Heskey: Am I getting the goals in today as per boss?

Houllier: Oui Emile.

Heskey: Good, I've been working on a few celebrations, what do you think of this one?

*Heskey pulls a rubber Carew mask from his shorts and lifts his shirt to reveal the word 'Finally!' on his vest.*

Heskey: See what I did ther John? I made it look like YOU scored for once.

*Carew seethes*

Heskey: Whoa now John .... You wouldn't punch yourself in the face would you?

*minutes later*

Paramedic: We're losing him!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday October 1 2010

Time: 12:41PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
*Heskey pulls a rubber Carew mask from his shorts and lifts his shirt to reveal the word 'Finally!' on his vest.* priceless
intox
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 13:10:00

Can you get those masks in the club shop?
Villa b
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 13:35:00

Yes Villa b, but they're unavailable most the time then half the time they are there they don't look right.
Hercs
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 13:40:00

Superb as ever mate.
revdpete
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 13:51:00

Another good 'un Hercs. Looking forward to the dressing room after the Tottenham game article, following another three pointer for the claret and blues.
glensider
Report Abuse
01/10/2010 17:27:00

a laugh a second, thanks Hercs
Charizma
Report Abuse
02/10/2010 14:33:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Burke Heads To Notts County (Thursday March 26 2015)

Kinsella Heads To Luton Town (Thursday March 26 2015)

Cole Praises Delph's Qualities (Thursday March 26 2015)

AVFC - The Relegation Battle Rages On (Thursday March 26 2015)

Bacuna Praises Defensive Duo (Wednesday March 25 2015)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 940
2. ClivetheVillan 728
3. The Fear 561
4. kefkat 375
5. thefacehead 352
6. sirdennis 286
7. DeanoVilla 273
8. HeathfieldRoad1874 246
9. Juan Mourep 191
10. Villan Of The North 189

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
13. Everton 30 8 10 12 -4 34
14. WBA 30 8 9 13 -12 33
15. Hull City 30 6 10 14 -12 28
16. Aston Villa 30 7 7 16 -20 28
17. Sunderland 30 4 14 12 -21 26
18. Burnley 30 5 10 15 -23 25
19. Q.P.R. 30 6 4 20 -23 22

Breaking League News

Do Tiendalli & Richards' Futures Lie At Swansea?
Swansea : 26/03/2015 20:53:00
Sakho on Non-EU Players
West Ham : 26/03/2015 19:28:01
Appiah With Reading Spell
Crystal Palace : 26/03/2015 19:16:00
Williams amp; Fryers Make Ipswich Move
Crystal Palace : 26/03/2015 19:13:00
Burke Heads To Notts County
Aston Villa : 26/03/2015 19:07:01

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Swansea MotM
Suggested By:  MF
Guzan 11%
Bacuna 0%
Okore 2%
Clark 33%
Hutton 0%
N'Zogbia 1%
Cleverley 0%
Delph 46%
Sinclair 0%
Benteke 0%
Agbonlahor 2%
Sub - Sanchez 4%
Sub - Westwood 1%
Sub - Weimann 0%