Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in The Dressing Room Post Wolves

Hercs in The Dressing Room Post Wolves

*We join the lads celebrating their victory over Wolves. Warnock enters he's wearing a bandana with the japanese 'rising sun' on*

Warnock: Woooooy Yaaaaaah!

*Warnock fly kicks Sidwell in the thigh*

Sidwell: Yeeeaaaaargh! Boss tell him!

*Warnock stands in a karate stance and peers left and right*

Houllier: OK, OK Stephen zis is enough.

Warnock: Hiii Yah!

*Warnock karate chops Cuellar on the shoulder with all his force, Cuellar doesn't flinch*

Houllier: Enough!

Warnock: Oh ... Sorry boss, you know what it's like when you get in the zone.

*Warnock removes his bandana*

Warnock: Enoch Powell! Beverley Knight! Jas Mann from Babylon Zoo! half built bus depot! Your boys just took one hell of a beating!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter, Heskey enters, he's wearing Elton John-esque sunglasses*

Heskey: Greeting peasants! I trust you non-goalscorers enjoyed the game?

*Heskey edges off his driving gloves*

A.Young: Emile, do you not think you're letting it get to your head a bit? I mean where did you even get a full length mink coat between the pitch and here?

Heskey: Oh Mr.Young, nice to see you there. Shame you couldn't play today...

A.Young: Couldn't?.... I did play.

Heskey: Oh, I'm sorry. I just didn't see your name on the scoresheet!

*Heskey presents an A3 poster of the scoreline and scorers*

A.Young: The score .... There's more to my game than goals, I win the ball, flick it on, make the plays...

Heskey: Pah! Like anyone cares about all that. Goals is where it's at, ain't that the truth Gabby?

Gabby: Well ... I do like goals.

Heskey: John?

Carew: I suppose.

Heskey: Sorry John? Speak up I couldn't hear you over your embarrassing lack of goals this season.

*Carew rolls his eyes, Heskey mimics offering Carew some if his famous goal scoring juice*

Carew: Whatever Emile, you're one miss short of everyone hating you again.

Heskey: Please, we both know that's not the case.

*Heskey screws up the poster he was still holding out into a ball and throws it at the bin, it bounces of the rim of the bin and onto the floor.*

Crowd heard outside: Boooooooooo! Donkey! Get 'im off! We want Delfouneso on! We want Delfouneso on!

*Carew raises his eyebrows in an 'I told you so fashion'*



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday September 27 2010
Time: 12:29PM

Comments

0
Genuinely in tears here.
lurman
27/09/2010 13:42:00
0
Sorry John? Speak up I couldn't hear you over your embarrassing lack of goals this season. This actually made me laugh out loud!
AndyFC
27/09/2010 13:45:00
0
There are no more words to describe your super duper awesomeness :P
Astriel
27/09/2010 13:48:00
0
Nice one
Stourbridge Villan
27/09/2010 15:44:00
0
Half built bus depot ....lol
longbridgelion
27/09/2010 17:26:00
0
Delfouneso game after Spurs then ????
tvrwhitey
27/09/2010 18:13:00
0
Anyone else find it strange that Hercs spends all this time in the dressing room and never says a word? Voyeur anyone? ;)
Phartman87
27/09/2010 19:35:00
0
Another quality piece of writing from Hercs. Very enjoyable read sir. I'd say one of your best, but in truth they are all up there on a different level.
glensider
27/09/2010 22:32:00
0
Enoch Powell & Beverley Knight in the same comment - Quality
SuperTommyJohnson
27/09/2010 23:35:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Bruce On Pathetic Reading Performance

Another game, another loss another and another embarrassing and shoddy performance from so called Aston Villa stars.

Transfer Windows To End Early?

The Premier League and the EFL will both be seeking thoughts from member clubs on whether or not to close the summer transfer window before the season kicks off in coming years.

Stan Collymore Rips Into Aston Villa Shambles

Stan Collymore has his say and he doesn't hold back on Aston Villa.

Aston Villa: The Missing X Factor

gmvillans says: Leadership has many forms: vocal, physical, by example.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Reading MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Johnstone9%
Hourihane10%
Fans22%
Johnstone & Fans59%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Is Formula E a threat to Formula One?
Latest Vital Boxing News
Burns and Crolla Have Respect for Each Other
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear221
2.Pride of Lions190
3.Fulford189
4.sirdennis185
5.Silhillvilla169
6.Melon Donkey154
7.JuanPabloAngel151
8.DeanoVilla138
9.McParlandTheGreat133
10.villasince67117
The Vital Football Members League