Date:Monday September 27 2010
*We join the lads celebrating their victory over Wolves. Warnock enters he's wearing a bandana with the japanese 'rising sun' on*
Warnock: Woooooy Yaaaaaah!
*Warnock fly kicks Sidwell in the thigh*
Sidwell: Yeeeaaaaargh! Boss tell him!
*Warnock stands in a karate stance and peers left and right*
Houllier: OK, OK Stephen zis is enough.
Warnock: Hiii Yah!
*Warnock karate chops Cuellar on the shoulder with all his force, Cuellar doesn't flinch*
Warnock: Oh ... Sorry boss, you know what it's like when you get in the zone.
*Warnock removes his bandana*
Warnock: Enoch Powell! Beverley Knight! Jas Mann from Babylon Zoo! half built bus depot! Your boys just took one hell of a beating!
*The dressing room erupts with laughter, Heskey enters, he's wearing Elton John-esque sunglasses*
Heskey: Greeting peasants! I trust you non-goalscorers enjoyed the game?
*Heskey edges off his driving gloves*
A.Young: Emile, do you not think you're letting it get to your head a bit? I mean where did you even get a full length mink coat between the pitch and here?
Heskey: Oh Mr.Young, nice to see you there. Shame you couldn't play today...
A.Young: Couldn't?.... I did play.
Heskey: Oh, I'm sorry. I just didn't see your name on the scoresheet!
*Heskey presents an A3 poster of the scoreline and scorers*
A.Young: The score .... There's more to my game than goals, I win the ball, flick it on, make the plays...
Heskey: Pah! Like anyone cares about all that. Goals is where it's at, ain't that the truth Gabby?
Gabby: Well ... I do like goals.
Carew: I suppose.
Heskey: Sorry John? Speak up I couldn't hear you over your embarrassing lack of goals this season.
*Carew rolls his eyes, Heskey mimics offering Carew some if his famous goal scoring juice*
Carew: Whatever Emile, you're one miss short of everyone hating you again.
Heskey: Please, we both know that's not the case.
*Heskey screws up the poster he was still holding out into a ball and throws it at the bin, it bounces of the rim of the bin and onto the floor.*
Crowd heard outside: Boooooooooo! Donkey! Get 'im off! We want Delfouneso on! We want Delfouneso on!
*Carew raises his eyebrows in an 'I told you so fashion'*
Date:Monday September 27 2010
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