Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs' in The Dressing Room before Wolves

Hercs' in The Dressing Room before Wolves



We join the lads preparing for their match against Wolves, Delph is visibly upset*

A.Young: Don't worry too much about it Fabian, I'm sure you'll get the chance to play Wolves in the future.

Delph: It's not just that (sniff), look at this ...

*Delph holds up the fixture list to Young*

Delph: Stoke, Bolton, Blackburn, Wolves I'm missing the lot!

A.Young: You know Fabian some people would consider themselves lucky not to be playing these matches. But I'm sure Gabby is just as gutted as you. Eh Gabby?

Gabby: uh .... Yeah ... Gutted, my back is killing me.

A.Young: Back? I thought it was your calf?

*Gabby rubs his arm*

Gabby: Um ... Yeah, my calf ... Very sore.

A.Young: That's your elbow!

Gabby: Look I'm just injured alright!

*Gabby runs out of the dressing room full pelt*

Collins: I'm with Gabby, I 'relish the physical challenge' as much as the next man but I'm beginning to forget what I look like without a black eye or head bandage or neck collar. I'm like that guy who's always faking his injuries.

A.Young: Avid Merrion?

Collins: No, no, the one with he big hat and glasses, always wears purple....

Heskey: .... The Archbishop of Canterbury?

Collins: Yeah, yeah that's the one.

Heskey: James, that's not a neck brace, it's a dog collar...

Collins: Hey, I didn't judge Stan Collymore, I won't judge that guy either.

Heskey: No, it's not anything like that James he....

Collins: I don't want to know Emile, his business is his business.

*Houllier enters*

Houllier: Bonjure ma eau de toilletes!

*The lads all look at each other*

Houllier: I am 'ow you say a sociable boss, 'ere I 'ave a joke for you. What is ze difference between running through a minefield and our fixture list?

*Houllier scans the room taking in the shrugs of the players*

Houllier: Nothing.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter.*

Houllier: Well I suppose you are less likely to lose a limb in ze minefield. All I ask of you is to win every remaining match zis season.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Houllier: I stopped joking at 'nothing'.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter once more*

Houllier: Silence!

*The dressing room falls silent and the players look at each other uncomfortably*

Houllier: Now Emile, you will play upfront and score all the goals, Stephen you will be playing left back.

Warnock: Finally!

Houllier (mutters under his breath): For Coventry

Warnock: What was that boss?

Houllier: Nothing.

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday September 24 2010
Time: 11:08AM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
Hahahahahaha brilliant as always ma eau de toillete!
nottinghamvillain
24/09/2010 11:21:00
0
What's the French equivalent of being sent to Coventry?
andy5759
24/09/2010 19:14:00
0
lol nice one
ClivetheVillan
25/09/2010 00:34:00
0
Thanks mate, it's the one article i really look forward to as i know it will make me chuckle!
Charizma
25/09/2010 07:53:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Nigel Pearson NOT Aston Villa Bound - Rammed

Phew (for me) and doh (for others!) Nigel Pearson has gone to Derby County

Di Matteo Appointment Close

Late yesterday evening it was reported that further talks between Chairman Steve Hollis and Roberto Di Matteo had taken place...

No Villa Regrets For Amavi

French Left back Jordan Amavi has said he has no regrets about joining Aston Villa last summer, and he's pretty down to earth when it comes to his thoughts...

Xia Has Bigger Plans To Benefit Aston Villa

It's being reported that new owner, or soon to be, Dr Tony Xia is already in talks to purchase a second club.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Roberto Di Matteo would be:
Suggested By: JP Fear
A great appointment31%
A good appointment but I'd prefer a.n.other40%
An average appointment16%
No thanks appointment!13%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 38 23 12 3 81 32
2 Arsenal 38 20 11 7 71 29
3 Spurs 38 19 13 6 70 34
4 Man City 38 19 9 10 66 30
5 Man Utd 38 19 9 10 66 14
6 Southampton 38 18 9 11 63 18
7 West Ham 38 16 14 8 62 14
8 Liverpool 38 16 12 10 60 13
9 Stoke 38 14 9 15 51 -14
10 Chelsea 38 12 14 12 50 6
11 Everton 38 11 14 13 47 4
12 Swansea 38 12 11 15 47 -10
13 Watford 38 12 9 17 45 -10
14 WBA 38 10 13 15 43 -14
15 Crystal Palace 38 11 9 18 42 -12
16 AFC Bournemouth 38 11 9 18 42 -22
17 Sunderland 38 9 12 17 39 -14
R Newcastle 38 9 10 19 37 -21
R Norwich 38 9 7 22 34 -28
R Aston Villa 38 3 8 27 17 -49
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Blog: Monaco Qualifying
Latest Vital Boxing News
Burns Set to Make History Tonight
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions882
2.The Fear513
3.kefkat350
4.sirdennis298
5.Fulford262
6.Lerner Out!250
7.JuanPabloAngel228
8.glensider205
9.Silhillvilla177
10.DeanoVilla175
Vital Football Comment