UK time is: 13:47:21
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs' in The Dressing Room before Wolves



We join the lads preparing for their match against Wolves, Delph is visibly upset*

A.Young: Don't worry too much about it Fabian, I'm sure you'll get the chance to play Wolves in the future.

Delph: It's not just that (sniff), look at this ...

*Delph holds up the fixture list to Young*

Delph: Stoke, Bolton, Blackburn, Wolves I'm missing the lot!

A.Young: You know Fabian some people would consider themselves lucky not to be playing these matches. But I'm sure Gabby is just as gutted as you. Eh Gabby?

Gabby: uh .... Yeah ... Gutted, my back is killing me.

A.Young: Back? I thought it was your calf?

*Gabby rubs his arm*

Gabby: Um ... Yeah, my calf ... Very sore.

A.Young: That's your elbow!

Gabby: Look I'm just injured alright!

*Gabby runs out of the dressing room full pelt*

Collins: I'm with Gabby, I 'relish the physical challenge' as much as the next man but I'm beginning to forget what I look like without a black eye or head bandage or neck collar. I'm like that guy who's always faking his injuries.

A.Young: Avid Merrion?

Collins: No, no, the one with he big hat and glasses, always wears purple....

Heskey: .... The Archbishop of Canterbury?

Collins: Yeah, yeah that's the one.

Heskey: James, that's not a neck brace, it's a dog collar...

Collins: Hey, I didn't judge Stan Collymore, I won't judge that guy either.

Heskey: No, it's not anything like that James he....

Collins: I don't want to know Emile, his business is his business.

*Houllier enters*

Houllier: Bonjure ma eau de toilletes!

*The lads all look at each other*

Houllier: I am 'ow you say a sociable boss, 'ere I 'ave a joke for you. What is ze difference between running through a minefield and our fixture list?

*Houllier scans the room taking in the shrugs of the players*

Houllier: Nothing.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter.*

Houllier: Well I suppose you are less likely to lose a limb in ze minefield. All I ask of you is to win every remaining match zis season.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Houllier: I stopped joking at 'nothing'.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter once more*

Houllier: Silence!

*The dressing room falls silent and the players look at each other uncomfortably*

Houllier: Now Emile, you will play upfront and score all the goals, Stephen you will be playing left back.

Warnock: Finally!

Houllier (mutters under his breath): For Coventry

Warnock: What was that boss?

Houllier: Nothing.




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday September 24 2010

Time: 11:08AM

Your Comments

Hahahahahaha brilliant as always ma eau de toillete!
nottinghamvillain
What's the French equivalent of being sent to Coventry?
andy5759
lol nice one
ClivetheVillan
Thanks mate, it's the one article i really look forward to as i know it will make me chuckle!
Charizma
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Lambert Thrilled With US Tour (Sunday July 27 2014)

Houston 0-1 Aston Villa (Sunday July 27 2014)

Lambert - We Were Excellent (Thursday July 24 2014)

FC Dallas 0-2 Aston Villa (Thursday July 24 2014)

Gardner To Make 2014-15 His Year (Wednesday July 23 2014)

Roncrete's Sett(led) At Villa (Wednesday July 23 2014)

Vlaar Bar (Wednesday July 23 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. The Fear 936
2. ClivetheVillan 607
3. Pride of Lions 478
4. kefkat 351
5. HeathfieldRoad1874 277
6. Villan Of The North 221
7. sirdennis 220
8. Green Tea 216
9. Juan Mourep 196
10. Clubpaver 188

League Results (view all)

Latest Results

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Arsenal 0 0 0 0 +0 0
2. Aston Villa 0 0 0 0 +0 0
3. Burnley 0 0 0 0 +0 0
4. Chelsea 0 0 0 0 +0 0
5. Crystal Palace 0 0 0 0 +0 0
6. Everton 0 0 0 0 +0 0
7. Hull City 0 0 0 0 +0 0

Breaking League News

Walk Away or Stay?
West Ham : 29/07/2014 13:01:00
What Price a Goal or Two?
West Ham : 29/07/2014 13:00:00
A Broken Team!
Man Utd : 29/07/2014 12:57:00
Moyes in West Ham Job Link!
Man Utd : 29/07/2014 12:56:00
Arsenal Midfielder Considered Quitting
Arsenal : 29/07/2014 12:53:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Darren Bent?
Suggested By:  JP Fear
Still needs to be sold 14%
Should be a starter 32%
Good for squad/off bench 52%
No idea! 2%