UK time is: 03:47:08
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs' in The Dressing Room before Wolves



We join the lads preparing for their match against Wolves, Delph is visibly upset*

A.Young: Don't worry too much about it Fabian, I'm sure you'll get the chance to play Wolves in the future.

Delph: It's not just that (sniff), look at this ...

*Delph holds up the fixture list to Young*

Delph: Stoke, Bolton, Blackburn, Wolves I'm missing the lot!

A.Young: You know Fabian some people would consider themselves lucky not to be playing these matches. But I'm sure Gabby is just as gutted as you. Eh Gabby?

Gabby: uh .... Yeah ... Gutted, my back is killing me.

A.Young: Back? I thought it was your calf?

*Gabby rubs his arm*

Gabby: Um ... Yeah, my calf ... Very sore.

A.Young: That's your elbow!

Gabby: Look I'm just injured alright!

*Gabby runs out of the dressing room full pelt*

Collins: I'm with Gabby, I 'relish the physical challenge' as much as the next man but I'm beginning to forget what I look like without a black eye or head bandage or neck collar. I'm like that guy who's always faking his injuries.

A.Young: Avid Merrion?

Collins: No, no, the one with he big hat and glasses, always wears purple....

Heskey: .... The Archbishop of Canterbury?

Collins: Yeah, yeah that's the one.

Heskey: James, that's not a neck brace, it's a dog collar...

Collins: Hey, I didn't judge Stan Collymore, I won't judge that guy either.

Heskey: No, it's not anything like that James he....

Collins: I don't want to know Emile, his business is his business.

*Houllier enters*

Houllier: Bonjure ma eau de toilletes!

*The lads all look at each other*

Houllier: I am 'ow you say a sociable boss, 'ere I 'ave a joke for you. What is ze difference between running through a minefield and our fixture list?

*Houllier scans the room taking in the shrugs of the players*

Houllier: Nothing.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter.*

Houllier: Well I suppose you are less likely to lose a limb in ze minefield. All I ask of you is to win every remaining match zis season.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Houllier: I stopped joking at 'nothing'.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter once more*

Houllier: Silence!

*The dressing room falls silent and the players look at each other uncomfortably*

Houllier: Now Emile, you will play upfront and score all the goals, Stephen you will be playing left back.

Warnock: Finally!

Houllier (mutters under his breath): For Coventry

Warnock: What was that boss?

Houllier: Nothing.




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday September 24 2010

Time: 11:08AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Hahahahahaha brilliant as always ma eau de toillete!
nottinghamvillain
Report Abuse
24/09/2010 11:21:00

What's the French equivalent of being sent to Coventry?
andy5759
Report Abuse
24/09/2010 19:14:00

lol nice one
ClivetheVillan
Report Abuse
25/09/2010 00:34:00

Thanks mate, it's the one article i really look forward to as i know it will make me chuckle!
Charizma
Report Abuse
25/09/2010 07:53:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

How Much Does It Cost To Boil An Egg? (Saturday January 24 2015)

Lambert - We're In The FA Cup To Win It (Saturday January 24 2015)

Johnson Makes Permanent Preston Move (Friday January 23 2015)

Villa's Window Has Shut - Or Has It? (Friday January 23 2015)

Something For The Weekend (479) (Friday January 23 2015)

A Record Breaking Season (Friday January 23 2015)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. The Fear 956
2. ClivetheVillan 694
3. Freeman14 615
4. Pride of Lions 536
5. Villan57 394
6. sirdennis 277
7. kefkat 276
8. CDX_EIRE 256
9. thefacehead 242
10. david-avfc 222

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
12. Everton 22 5 8 9 -4 23
13. Crystal Palace 22 5 8 9 -8 23
14. WBA 22 5 7 10 -9 22
15. Aston Villa 22 5 7 10 -14 22
16. Sunderland 22 3 11 8 -14 20
17. Burnley 22 4 8 10 -15 20
18. Hull City 22 4 7 11 -10 19

Breaking League News

Monk: I Don`t Want Another Striker
Swansea : 24/01/2015 23:01:00
Pellegrini - We Have No FA Cup Excuse
Man City : 24/01/2015 20:13:00
Comeback Delighted Pearson
Leicester City : 24/01/2015 20:02:00
Pardew Delighted With Palace Win amp; Progression
Crystal Palace : 24/01/2015 19:49:00
Chamakh Delighted With FA Cup Brace
Crystal Palace : 24/01/2015 19:35:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Aston Villa v AFC Bournemouth (FA Cup) will
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win 37%
Lose 52%
Draw - we go again! 11%