UK time is: 12:58:22
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Blackburn

*We join the lads preparing for their match against Blackburn Rovers, there is a knock at the door, Houllier answers it*

Houllier: Ah El Hadji! Bonjour! Is nice of an opposition player to come and wish us ze luck before....

*Diouf ignores Houllier and scans the room, locking eyes with Friedel*

Friedel: Have you come to see me buddy? Catch up on old times?

*Diouf's soulless eyes don't even blink as he charges at Friedel and shoulder barges him to the ground*

Guzan: Hey! Whats the matter with you dude!? you can't just come in here and....

*Diouf eyes Guzan's kit up and down and charges at him, knocking him to the floor. He then looks around the room once more until finding Andy Mashall, he's sat wearing his cardigan and slippers, smoking a pipe, reading the Independant and eating his Werther's Originals*

Marshall: What ho young Diouf?

*Diouf runs at Marshall knocking him flying from his rocking chair*

Marshall: Yeaaaarrgggh!! Me dodgy hip!

Houllier: Right! Zis is 'ow zey say 'it'!

*Houllier grabs Diouf by the ear and drags him towards his own dressing room*

Diouf: Ow!

*As they approach Blackburn's open dressing room Sam Allardyce can be heard shouting*

Allardyce: Ee bah gum! Kill a lot! I say Kill a lot!

Houllier: Bonjour Big Samir, I have for you un oik!

*Houllier slings Diouf into the room.*

Houllier: I heard you outside, you are watching ze 'Robot Wars'? Most peculiar before a match.

Allardyce: What's Robot Wars?

Player: Yeah! Kill 'em all! Woooo!

*Houllier instantly recognises the voice*

Houllier: Fabian! Get back to our dressing room at once!

*Delph stands, removes the Blackburn shirt he's wearing and skulks out of the room*

Delph: Oh man!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday September 22 2010

Time: 10:18AM

Your Comments

As a Blackburn fan I have to say... this is brilliant. This has brightened my day no end and made me squeal (in a manly way) with laughter. Good work and good luck tonight chaps!
JuanFranDeLaHuego
Funny stuff guys... like it!!
Mikey Delap
clearly we should have cuellar, collins and warnock act like a defensive wall around friedel to stop teh Diouf
sonicdeathmonkey
lol lol lol...what's the funniest the funniest hercs in the dressing ever made?
Avfc94 we do
Fantastic once more Hercs!! Kill em all!!! should be a good ol'fashioned kick about tonight then! lol
nottinghamvillain
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Articles

Something For The Weekend (459) (Friday April 18 2014)

Deeney In, Helenius Out? (Thursday April 17 2014)

Lambert Upbeat Ahead Of Saints Clash (Thursday April 17 2014)

Randy In Praise Of Lambert (Wednesday April 16 2014)

Villa Confirm Suspensions (Tuesday April 15 2014)

Archived Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 877
2. The Fear 777
3. ClivetheVillan 313
4. Barney2004 245
5. Villan57 226
6. Villan Of The North 202
7. tarzan 193
8. sirdennis 192
9. BlackCountry Villa 184
10. Sussex Villan 181

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
11. Crystal Palace 34 12 4 18 -14 40
12. West Ham 34 10 7 17 -9 37
13. Hull City 33 10 6 17 -6 36
14. Aston Villa 33 9 7 17 -14 34
15. Swansea 34 8 9 17 -5 33
16. WBA 33 6 15 12 -11 33
17. Norwich 34 8 8 18 -27 32

Breaking League News

Ups and Downs for Sam!
Chelsea : 19/04/2014 12:52:00
No Longer Fake!
Chelsea : 19/04/2014 12:32:00
Cole Out in the Cold?
Chelsea : 19/04/2014 12:16:00
Hazard Remains a Doubt for Atletico Trip
Chelsea : 19/04/2014 12:10:00
Spurs v Fulham - Team Sheets
Fulham : 19/04/2014 12:00:00
A Minutes Applause for Dylan
West Ham : 19/04/2014 11:50:00
Hammers - It Refuses to Go Away
West Ham : 19/04/2014 11:46:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v Southampton will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win 36%
Lose 45%
Draw 19%