Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Stoke

Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Stoke

*We join the lads gearing up for their match against Stoke, Houllier enters*

Houllier: Psssst .... Bonjour ma petit chiens!

*A.Young whispers to Carew*

A.Young: did he just call us his little dogs?

*Carew nods*

Carew: I'm more concerned that he's dressed as a tree.

*Houllier parts the leaves in his disguise.*

Houllier: You imbecille Carew! I am not a tree, I am a shrub! On top of zis, I am not 'ere, I am in France.

*The lads look at each other in confusion*

A.Young: Great, he's only been in the job a few days and he's gone mad.

Houllier: Mad? Mad!? Ha! They said Da Vinci was mad!

Petrov: Da Vinci WAS mad.

Houllier: Yes, well, It is not I who is mad, it is the bureaucrats at the FFF I am like a 'ow you say 'prisoner cell block H'!

Gabby: Wait... So I'm not the only one who can see a talking, spanish bush?

Houllier: French shrub! Now I am 'appy with what I 'ave witnessed in your training. Riise you shall start at left back.

A.Young: Boss, that's not Riise, that's Steve...

Sidwell: Ssssh! Yah boss, Yah! No problem. Guten tag.

Warnock: What!? I'm the left back boss, me! I mean...

*Houllier holds up a hand, silencing Warnock*

Houllier: Stephen, Stephen, we got off on 'ow you say ze 'wrong foot' non? I thought you may react like zis so I have you a gift....

*Houllier hands Warnock a wrapped gift, he opens it.*

Warnock: A Coventry shirt!? With my name on the back? I told you boss I'm not going to Coventry again.

Houllier: Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, you do Coventry a great injustice, think of ze greats of Coventry, Steve Ogrizovic, David Speedie, ze larger lady who was on Big Brother a few years ago.

*Warnock scowls*

Houllier: Marc, you are what we call in France 'a good winger' I want you to play, start out wide, zen come inside your man. Understand?

Albrighton: Yes boss.

Clark: He understands alright.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter.*

Houllier: What is zis laughing? Marc you will 'ave un probleme coming inside your man?

*the lads all turn to look at Albrighton, he hangs his head and mutters under his breath*

Albrighton: No boss.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter.*

Houllier: Enough! Now one I thing I do know is that Emile will score us our goals.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter.*

Houllier: Ze laughing again? Perhaps I say ze wrong thing? Emile will play striker and get the goals, zis is what he is good at yes?

Heskey: Yeah ... about that boss.... I've made some minor 'tweaks' to my game....

Date:Monday September 13 2010
Time: 11:58AM


Funny. However Houllier is now the boss and we need to give him some vocal support. I know he is not there tonight (I will be checking trees just in case) but I think an amended version of La Marsallaise (French National Anthem) should do the trick. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Hoouulllieerr. La la la (Hoouulliiierrr) la la la (Hoouulliiierrr), Gerard, Gerard Gerard Hooouuullliiierrr. Gerard Houulliieerr. HOULLIER!!
13/09/2010 13:03:00
Brilliant once more!!
13/09/2010 17:12:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment


Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists


Current Poll (see more polls)

Tim Sherwood?
Suggested By: JP Fear
It will all click and be fine6%
Not going to work out50%
Give him til end Nov then look again19%
Give him til end of Dec then look again7%
No idea anymore, Villa confuse me!18%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Man City 8 6 0 2 18 12
2 Arsenal 8 5 1 2 16 6
3 Man Utd 8 5 1 2 16 4
4 Crystal Palace 8 5 0 3 15 4
5 Leicester City 8 4 3 1 15 2
6 West Ham 8 4 2 2 14 6
7 Everton 8 3 4 1 13 4
8 Spurs 8 3 4 1 13 4
9 Southampton 8 3 3 2 12 3
10 Liverpool 8 3 3 2 12 -2
11 Swansea 8 2 4 2 10 0
12 Watford 8 2 4 2 10 -1
13 Norwich 8 2 3 3 9 -2
14 Stoke 8 2 3 3 9 -2
15 AFC Bournemouth 8 2 2 4 8 -2
16 Chelsea 8 2 2 4 8 -5
17 WBA 8 2 2 4 8 -5
18 Aston Villa 8 1 1 6 4 -5
19 Sunderland 8 0 3 5 3 -10
20 Newcastle 8 0 3 5 3 -11
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Blog: Sochi Preview
Latest Vital Boxing News
Groves Wants McCracken Tie-Up
Vital Football Comment

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Oct 17 2015 3:00PM : Chelsea (a)
Barclays Premier League
Oct 24 2015 3:00PM : Swansea City (H)
Barclays Premier League
Oct 27 2015 7:45PM : Southampton (a)
Capital One Cup
Nov 2 2015 8:00PM : Tottenham Hotspur (a)
Barclays Premier League
Nov 8 2015 1:30PM : Manchester City (H)
Barclays Premier League
Nov 21 2015 3:00PM : Everton (a)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

1.Pride of Lions357
3.The Fear163
Write for Vital Football