Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Stoke

Hercs in the Dressing Room Pre Stoke

*We join the lads gearing up for their match against Stoke, Houllier enters*

Houllier: Psssst .... Bonjour ma petit chiens!

*A.Young whispers to Carew*

A.Young: did he just call us his little dogs?

*Carew nods*

Carew: I'm more concerned that he's dressed as a tree.

*Houllier parts the leaves in his disguise.*

Houllier: You imbecille Carew! I am not a tree, I am a shrub! On top of zis, I am not 'ere, I am in France.

*The lads look at each other in confusion*

A.Young: Great, he's only been in the job a few days and he's gone mad.

Houllier: Mad? Mad!? Ha! They said Da Vinci was mad!

Petrov: Da Vinci WAS mad.

Houllier: Yes, well, It is not I who is mad, it is the bureaucrats at the FFF I am like a 'ow you say 'prisoner cell block H'!

Gabby: Wait... So I'm not the only one who can see a talking, spanish bush?

Houllier: French shrub! Now I am 'appy with what I 'ave witnessed in your training. Riise you shall start at left back.

A.Young: Boss, that's not Riise, that's Steve...

Sidwell: Ssssh! Yah boss, Yah! No problem. Guten tag.

Warnock: What!? I'm the left back boss, me! I mean...

*Houllier holds up a hand, silencing Warnock*

Houllier: Stephen, Stephen, we got off on 'ow you say ze 'wrong foot' non? I thought you may react like zis so I have you a gift....

*Houllier hands Warnock a wrapped gift, he opens it.*

Warnock: A Coventry shirt!? With my name on the back? I told you boss I'm not going to Coventry again.

Houllier: Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, you do Coventry a great injustice, think of ze greats of Coventry, Steve Ogrizovic, David Speedie, ze larger lady who was on Big Brother a few years ago.

*Warnock scowls*

Houllier: Marc, you are what we call in France 'a good winger' I want you to play, start out wide, zen come inside your man. Understand?

Albrighton: Yes boss.

Clark: He understands alright.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter.*

Houllier: What is zis laughing? Marc you will 'ave un probleme coming inside your man?

*the lads all turn to look at Albrighton, he hangs his head and mutters under his breath*

Albrighton: No boss.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter.*

Houllier: Enough! Now one I thing I do know is that Emile will score us our goals.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter.*

Houllier: Ze laughing again? Perhaps I say ze wrong thing? Emile will play striker and get the goals, zis is what he is good at yes?

Heskey: Yeah ... about that boss.... I've made some minor 'tweaks' to my game....

Exclusive to Vital ! Read now ! The Vital Boxing John H Stracey Interview



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday September 13 2010
Time: 11:58AM

Comments

0
Funny. However Houllier is now the boss and we need to give him some vocal support. I know he is not there tonight (I will be checking trees just in case) but I think an amended version of La Marsallaise (French National Anthem) should do the trick. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Hoouulllieerr. La la la (Hoouulliiierrr) la la la (Hoouulliiierrr), Gerard, Gerard Gerard Hooouuullliiierrr. Gerard Houulliieerr. HOULLIER!!
voiceoftheholte
13/09/2010 13:03:00
0
Brilliant once more!!
nottinghamvillain
13/09/2010 17:12:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Aston Villa v Wigan - Follow Live On Twitter

Aston Villa are at Villa Park with Wigan the visitors today, this will be a 3pm kick-off.

Bruce Previews Wigan Clash

Manager Steve Bruce has now held his pre Wigan Athletic press conference with the media and here's what he had to say.

Something For The Weekend (555)

It was destined to be a week haunted by old doubts after Bruce's Villa relinquished their invincibility tag, as they lost to Leeds United.

From Hate To Love! 5 Teams Villa Fan Does Like (Opinion)

JuanPabloAngel yesterday told us which opposition teams he hated. Today he's showing the love.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

The Vital Villa Player Of November
Suggested By: JP Fear
Gollini8%
Hutton1%
Chester4%
Baker5%
Westwood2%
Amavi2%
Jedinak34%
Gardner1%
Grealish2%
Gestede2%
Kodjia31%
Adomah 5%
Ayew1%
Other2%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Brighton 20 12 6 2 42 19
2 Newcastle 19 13 1 5 40 21
3 Reading 19 10 4 5 34 1
4 Leeds Utd 20 10 2 8 32 1
5 Birmingham 19 8 7 4 31 2
6 Sheff Wed 19 9 4 6 31 1
7 Norwich 19 9 3 7 30 4
8 Huddersfield 19 9 3 7 30 -3
9 Derby County 19 8 5 6 29 4
10 Fulham 19 7 7 5 28 9
11 Bristol City 19 8 3 8 27 4
12 Barnsley 19 7 4 8 25 3
13 Forest 19 7 4 8 25 1
14 Preston 19 7 4 8 25 1
15 Aston Villa 19 5 10 4 25 1
16 Ipswich 19 6 6 7 24 -2
17 Q.P.R. 19 6 5 8 23 -8
18 Brentford 19 6 4 9 22 -2
19 Burton 19 5 7 7 22 -4
20 Wolves 19 5 6 8 21 -3
21 Blackburn 19 5 5 9 20 -7
22 Cardiff 19 5 4 10 19 -12
23 Wigan 19 4 6 9 18 -5
24 Rotherham 19 1 4 14 7 -26
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Red Bull Racing to take advantage of Merc turmoil?
Latest Vital Boxing News
Former Frampton Opponent Found Murdered
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Dec 10 2016 3:00PM : Wigan Athletic (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 13 2016 7:45PM : Norwich City (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 18 2016 12:00PM : Queens Park Rangers (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 26 2016 3:00PM : Burton Albion (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 29 2016 7:45PM : Leeds United (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 2 2017 3:00PM : Cardiff City (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear212
2.JuanPabloAngel139
3.HeathfieldRoad187496
4.sirdennis86
5.BodyButter74
6.TuBBz74
7.Stephen Jay Hawkings56
8.DeanoVilla51
9.Wurzel49
10.Silhillvilla36
Write for Vital Football