UK time is: 07:29:36
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in The Dressing Room Houllier! Celebrate!

*We join the lads as their new boss introduces himself*

Houllier: Bonjour tout le monde, I am Gerard Houllier, your new manager.

Gabby: Wow! I was a big fan of yours when I was a kid Mr Coolio sir. I loved 'Gangsta's Paradise' it was my first cassette tape and...

Houllier: Coolio? Who is this Coolio you speak of?

*Gabby looks confused*

Houllier: Anyway, I have read in ze press that a few of the players I have had dealings with before feel how you say 'pressurised' by my appointment. Let me assure you Brad, Stephen and John that you will be treated no differently than any other players.

Friedel: Gee, thanks boss, that's a relief.

Houllier: I won't be spoken to like that! Friedel you're fired! Your contract I tear it up! I tear it up in your face!

*Houllier mimes tearing up a contract*

Friedel: What?... But...

Houllier: Your face! Warnock, how dare you look at me like that!

Warnock: Come again? I wasn't even looking at you boss?

Houllier: How do you expect me to manage a player who won't look at me when I talk to them? You're going on loan to Coventry!

Warnock: Coventry!? but I'm the clubs only senior left back and...

Houllier: Coventry! Now be quiet I am talking to Coventry on the phone. Hello? Is this Coventry? Yes, this is Gerard Houllier ..... Yes THE Gerard Houllier and I am calling you to tell you that you are having Stephen Warnock on loan until his contract expires or he is dead.

Warnock: You're not even on the phone! You're just talking to your hand with your thumb and little finger extended!

*Houllier holds his other hand up to Warnock whilst nodding and listening to the 'phone'*

Houllier: The deal is done.

*Carew is sitting quietly in the corner politely sipping tea*

Houllier: And you! Carew! Continue with your outlandish behaviour, slurping your tea like a caveman and you're out!

*Carew gently puts down his tea and sits nervously to attention*

Carew: Yes boss!

Houllier: and what is this you're wearing!? Your clothes zey look like a traffic accident!

*Carew looks down at his clothes,then at the rest of the team.*

Carew: We're all wearing our kit boss.

Houllier: Silence! I demand you wear something more appropriate or you're out!

Carew: But everyone else is...

Houllier: Silence!

*Carew skulks off to the lockers returning a few moments later*

Houllier: Now what is this you're wearing!? You come to training with your new manager looking like a homeless vagabond!?

Carew: It's a tuxedo!?

Houllier: You're fired Carew! Fired!

Carew: But it's as smart as I...

Houllier: Silence!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday September 9 2010

Time: 10:42AM

Your Comments

hahahaha
byronp
"I tear it up in your face"........Brilliant!
Jon.H
you do not disappoint sir!
revdpete
:) love it, cant wait for more of these!
thorpyuk
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Football vs Golf (Wednesday October 1 2014)

The Villa Times - 30/09/2014 (Tuesday September 30 2014)

U21s - Villa 3-0 Bolton (Monday September 29 2014)

Benteke Steps Up His Fitness (Monday September 29 2014)

The Vital Villa Fantasy League Table (Monday September 29 2014)

Lambert Content Following Chelsea Loss (Sunday September 28 2014)

Stats: Chelsea v Aston Villa (Saturday September 27 2014)

Something For The Weekend (467) (Friday September 26 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
3. Man City 6 3 2 1 5 11
4. Arsenal 6 2 4 0 4 10
5. Swansea 6 3 1 2 2 10
6. Aston Villa 6 3 1 2 -3 10
7. Man Utd 6 2 2 2 2 8
8. Spurs 6 2 2 2 1 8
9. Crystal Palace 6 2 2 2 0 8

Breaking League News

FC Krasnodar V Everton Match Preview
Everton : 02/10/2014 05:02:00
FC Krasnodar V Everton Match Preview
Everton : 02/10/2014 05:02:00
Report: FC Basel 1-0 Liverpool
Liverpool : 01/10/2014 22:45:00
Tottenham Hotspur vs. Besiktas.
Spurs : 01/10/2014 19:47:00
It`s a Fine Line!
Man Utd : 01/10/2014 19:12:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

If you could only have one of these players renew, which one would it be?
Suggested By:  Ali Arab
Vlaar 8%
Delph 53%
Grealish 39%