Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in The Dressing Room Houllier! Celebrate!

Hercs in The Dressing Room Houllier! Celebrate!

*We join the lads as their new boss introduces himself*

Houllier: Bonjour tout le monde, I am Gerard Houllier, your new manager.

Gabby: Wow! I was a big fan of yours when I was a kid Mr Coolio sir. I loved 'Gangsta's Paradise' it was my first cassette tape and...

Houllier: Coolio? Who is this Coolio you speak of?

*Gabby looks confused*

Houllier: Anyway, I have read in ze press that a few of the players I have had dealings with before feel how you say 'pressurised' by my appointment. Let me assure you Brad, Stephen and John that you will be treated no differently than any other players.

Friedel: Gee, thanks boss, that's a relief.

Houllier: I won't be spoken to like that! Friedel you're fired! Your contract I tear it up! I tear it up in your face!

*Houllier mimes tearing up a contract*

Friedel: What?... But...

Houllier: Your face! Warnock, how dare you look at me like that!

Warnock: Come again? I wasn't even looking at you boss?

Houllier: How do you expect me to manage a player who won't look at me when I talk to them? You're going on loan to Coventry!

Warnock: Coventry!? but I'm the clubs only senior left back and...

Houllier: Coventry! Now be quiet I am talking to Coventry on the phone. Hello? Is this Coventry? Yes, this is Gerard Houllier ..... Yes THE Gerard Houllier and I am calling you to tell you that you are having Stephen Warnock on loan until his contract expires or he is dead.

Warnock: You're not even on the phone! You're just talking to your hand with your thumb and little finger extended!

*Houllier holds his other hand up to Warnock whilst nodding and listening to the 'phone'*

Houllier: The deal is done.

*Carew is sitting quietly in the corner politely sipping tea*

Houllier: And you! Carew! Continue with your outlandish behaviour, slurping your tea like a caveman and you're out!

*Carew gently puts down his tea and sits nervously to attention*

Carew: Yes boss!

Houllier: and what is this you're wearing!? Your clothes zey look like a traffic accident!

*Carew looks down at his clothes,then at the rest of the team.*

Carew: We're all wearing our kit boss.

Houllier: Silence! I demand you wear something more appropriate or you're out!

Carew: But everyone else is...

Houllier: Silence!

*Carew skulks off to the lockers returning a few moments later*

Houllier: Now what is this you're wearing!? You come to training with your new manager looking like a homeless vagabond!?

Carew: It's a tuxedo!?

Houllier: You're fired Carew! Fired!

Carew: But it's as smart as I...

Houllier: Silence!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Thursday September 9 2010
Time: 10:42AM

Comments

0
hahahaha
byronp
09/09/2010 11:07:00
0
"I tear it up in your face"........Brilliant!
Jon.H
09/09/2010 15:18:00
0
you do not disappoint sir!
revdpete
09/09/2010 20:49:00
0
:) love it, cant wait for more of these!
thorpyuk
10/09/2010 14:14:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Under Armour Through The Shop Window

Late last night eagle eyed fans noticed something at the club shop I believe, and instead of it being the new home and away kit teasers...

Lambert Gets Linked Again?

Aston Villa are again being linked with now West Bromwich Albion striker Rickie Lambert.

Villa Players Return To Training With Familiar Face

Well it's Wednesday, and earlier today the players returned for testing and day one of Roberto Di Matteo's era at Villa Park.

Birmingham Games Switched On Police Advice

Not a great shock to see the home and away games against Birmingham City moved this season is it - if anything the only surprise is the announcement has come this...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Can Gabby redeem himself and stay?
Suggested By: JP Fear
Yes32%
No63%
Meh, not sure5%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Burnley 46 26 15 5 93 37
P Middlesbrough 46 26 11 9 89 32
3 Brighton 46 24 17 5 89 30
4 Hull City 46 24 11 11 83 34
5 Derby County 46 21 15 10 78 23
6 Sheff Wed 46 19 17 10 74 21
7 Ipswich 46 18 15 13 69 2
8 Cardiff 46 17 17 12 68 5
9 Brentford 46 19 8 19 65 5
10 Birmingham 46 16 15 15 63 4
11 Preston 46 15 17 14 62 0
12 Q.P.R. 46 14 18 14 60 0
13 Leeds Utd 46 14 17 15 59 -8
14 Wolves 46 14 16 16 58 -5
15 Blackburn 46 13 16 17 55 0
16 Forest 46 13 16 17 55 -4
17 Reading 46 13 13 20 52 -7
18 Bristol City 46 13 13 20 52 -17
19 Huddersfield 46 13 12 21 51 -11
20 Fulham 46 12 15 19 51 -13
21 Rotherham 46 13 10 23 49 -18
R Charlton 46 9 13 24 40 -40
R MK Dons 46 9 12 25 39 -30
R Bolton 46 5 15 26 30 -40
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Pirelli announce driver selections for Austria
Latest Vital Boxing News
Froch Not Sure About Groves!
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear460
2.sirdennis198
3.Fulford192
4.BodyButter160
5.glensider148
6.JuanPabloAngel131
7.kefkat116
8.DeanoVilla107
9.Melon Donkey95
10.HeathfieldRoad187492
Write for Vital Football