UK time is: 21:04:09
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs in The Dressing Room Houllier! Celebrate!

*We join the lads as their new boss introduces himself*

Houllier: Bonjour tout le monde, I am Gerard Houllier, your new manager.

Gabby: Wow! I was a big fan of yours when I was a kid Mr Coolio sir. I loved 'Gangsta's Paradise' it was my first cassette tape and...

Houllier: Coolio? Who is this Coolio you speak of?

*Gabby looks confused*

Houllier: Anyway, I have read in ze press that a few of the players I have had dealings with before feel how you say 'pressurised' by my appointment. Let me assure you Brad, Stephen and John that you will be treated no differently than any other players.

Friedel: Gee, thanks boss, that's a relief.

Houllier: I won't be spoken to like that! Friedel you're fired! Your contract I tear it up! I tear it up in your face!

*Houllier mimes tearing up a contract*

Friedel: What?... But...

Houllier: Your face! Warnock, how dare you look at me like that!

Warnock: Come again? I wasn't even looking at you boss?

Houllier: How do you expect me to manage a player who won't look at me when I talk to them? You're going on loan to Coventry!

Warnock: Coventry!? but I'm the clubs only senior left back and...

Houllier: Coventry! Now be quiet I am talking to Coventry on the phone. Hello? Is this Coventry? Yes, this is Gerard Houllier ..... Yes THE Gerard Houllier and I am calling you to tell you that you are having Stephen Warnock on loan until his contract expires or he is dead.

Warnock: You're not even on the phone! You're just talking to your hand with your thumb and little finger extended!

*Houllier holds his other hand up to Warnock whilst nodding and listening to the 'phone'*

Houllier: The deal is done.

*Carew is sitting quietly in the corner politely sipping tea*

Houllier: And you! Carew! Continue with your outlandish behaviour, slurping your tea like a caveman and you're out!

*Carew gently puts down his tea and sits nervously to attention*

Carew: Yes boss!

Houllier: and what is this you're wearing!? Your clothes zey look like a traffic accident!

*Carew looks down at his clothes,then at the rest of the team.*

Carew: We're all wearing our kit boss.

Houllier: Silence! I demand you wear something more appropriate or you're out!

Carew: But everyone else is...

Houllier: Silence!

*Carew skulks off to the lockers returning a few moments later*

Houllier: Now what is this you're wearing!? You come to training with your new manager looking like a homeless vagabond!?

Carew: It's a tuxedo!?

Houllier: You're fired Carew! Fired!

Carew: But it's as smart as I...

Houllier: Silence!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday September 9 2010

Time: 10:42AM

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

2021 (Friday January 30 2015)

Something For The Weekend (480) (Friday January 30 2015)

Drennan Departs Aston Villa (Friday January 30 2015)

Grealish, Alli, Arsenal & Chelsea (Friday January 30 2015)

Sinclair Signs Season Long Loan Deal (Friday January 30 2015)

Sinclair, Demba Ba & Others (Thursday January 29 2015)

An Interview With Carles Gil (Thursday January 29 2015)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. The Fear 1151
2. ClivetheVillan 830
3. Pride of Lions 731
4. Freeman14 698
5. Villan57 449
6. thefacehead 349
7. sirdennis 341
8. kefkat 340
9. CDX_EIRE 295
10. DeanoVilla 263

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
13. Crystal Palace 23 5 8 10 -9 23
14. Sunderland 23 4 11 8 -12 23
15. WBA 23 5 7 11 -12 22
16. Aston Villa 22 5 7 10 -14 22
17. Burnley 23 4 8 11 -17 20
18. Hull City 23 4 7 12 -13 19
19. Q.P.R. 23 5 4 14 -18 19

Breaking League News

Redknapp Bemoans More Bad Luck
Q.P.R. : 31/01/2015 20:21:00
QPR Sunk By Walters Treble
Q.P.R. : 31/01/2015 20:02:00
West Ham : 31/01/2015 19:47:00
Chelsea : 31/01/2015 19:39:00
Man City : 31/01/2015 19:23:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Vital Villa January Player Of The Month
Suggested By:  JP Fear
Guzan 8%
Clark 12%
Baker 0%
Okore 49%
Cissokho 1%
Hutton 3%
Sanchez 13%
Westwood 0%
Gil 10%
Delph 1%
Cleverley 1%
Benteke 1%
Weimann 0%
Gabby 1%