Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs in The Dressing Room Houllier! Celebrate!

Hercs in The Dressing Room Houllier! Celebrate!

*We join the lads as their new boss introduces himself*

Houllier: Bonjour tout le monde, I am Gerard Houllier, your new manager.

Gabby: Wow! I was a big fan of yours when I was a kid Mr Coolio sir. I loved 'Gangsta's Paradise' it was my first cassette tape and...

Houllier: Coolio? Who is this Coolio you speak of?

*Gabby looks confused*

Houllier: Anyway, I have read in ze press that a few of the players I have had dealings with before feel how you say 'pressurised' by my appointment. Let me assure you Brad, Stephen and John that you will be treated no differently than any other players.

Friedel: Gee, thanks boss, that's a relief.

Houllier: I won't be spoken to like that! Friedel you're fired! Your contract I tear it up! I tear it up in your face!

*Houllier mimes tearing up a contract*

Friedel: What?... But...

Houllier: Your face! Warnock, how dare you look at me like that!

Warnock: Come again? I wasn't even looking at you boss?

Houllier: How do you expect me to manage a player who won't look at me when I talk to them? You're going on loan to Coventry!

Warnock: Coventry!? but I'm the clubs only senior left back and...

Houllier: Coventry! Now be quiet I am talking to Coventry on the phone. Hello? Is this Coventry? Yes, this is Gerard Houllier ..... Yes THE Gerard Houllier and I am calling you to tell you that you are having Stephen Warnock on loan until his contract expires or he is dead.

Warnock: You're not even on the phone! You're just talking to your hand with your thumb and little finger extended!

*Houllier holds his other hand up to Warnock whilst nodding and listening to the 'phone'*

Houllier: The deal is done.

*Carew is sitting quietly in the corner politely sipping tea*

Houllier: And you! Carew! Continue with your outlandish behaviour, slurping your tea like a caveman and you're out!

*Carew gently puts down his tea and sits nervously to attention*

Carew: Yes boss!

Houllier: and what is this you're wearing!? Your clothes zey look like a traffic accident!

*Carew looks down at his clothes,then at the rest of the team.*

Carew: We're all wearing our kit boss.

Houllier: Silence! I demand you wear something more appropriate or you're out!

Carew: But everyone else is...

Houllier: Silence!

*Carew skulks off to the lockers returning a few moments later*

Houllier: Now what is this you're wearing!? You come to training with your new manager looking like a homeless vagabond!?

Carew: It's a tuxedo!?

Houllier: You're fired Carew! Fired!

Carew: But it's as smart as I...

Houllier: Silence!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Thursday September 9 2010
Time: 10:42AM

Comments

0
hahahaha
byronp
09/09/2010 11:07:00
0
"I tear it up in your face"........Brilliant!
Jon.H
09/09/2010 15:18:00
0
you do not disappoint sir!
revdpete
09/09/2010 20:49:00
0
:) love it, cant wait for more of these!
thorpyuk
10/09/2010 14:14:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

HK - Villa Squad Announced For Soccer Sevens

Aston Villa confirmed yesterday that Keinan Davis and Corey Blackett-Taylor will lead the line at this weekend's Hong Kong Soccer Sevens tournament.

Jedinak Feels Settled At Villa

Australian international midfielder Mile Jedinak has said he now feels 'right at home' at Aston Villa following the summer switch from Crystal Palace.

The Vital Villa Best Beard Of The Season Award Goes To..

I imagine this will hit the national press, such a prestigious award...

Wyness Confident Of Summer Improvements

Chief Executive Keith Wyness has said that he's confident Aston Villa will sign the three or four quality additions identified by manager Steve Bruce this summer.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

I'm all out of questions at the moment
Suggested By:
You can suggest one43%
if you want to!57%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Newcastle 46 29 7 10 94 45
P Brighton 46 28 9 9 93 34
3 Reading 46 26 7 13 85 4
4 Sheff Wed 46 24 9 13 81 15
5 Huddersfield 46 25 6 15 81 -2
6 Fulham 46 22 14 10 80 28
7 Leeds Utd 46 22 9 15 75 14
8 Norwich 46 20 10 16 70 16
9 Derby County 46 18 13 15 67 4
10 Brentford 46 18 10 18 64 10
11 Preston 46 16 14 16 62 1
12 Cardiff 46 17 11 18 62 -1
13 Aston Villa 46 16 14 16 62 -1
14 Barnsley 46 15 13 18 58 -3
15 Wolves 46 16 10 20 58 -4
16 Ipswich 46 13 16 17 55 -10
17 Bristol City 46 15 9 22 54 -6
18 Q.P.R. 46 15 8 23 53 -14
19 Birmingham 46 13 14 19 53 -19
20 Burton 46 13 13 20 52 -14
21 Forest 46 14 9 23 51 -10
R Blackburn 46 12 15 19 51 -12
R Wigan 46 10 12 24 42 -17
R Rotherham 46 5 8 33 23 -58
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Mercedes refuse to introduce team orders
Latest Vital Boxing News
Brook Fancies Spence Job
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear343
2.JuanPabloAngel294
3.sirdennis219
4.BBJ187
5.Pride of Lions163
6.villasince67154
7.Silhillvilla125
8.kefkat124
9.mike_field118
10.BodyButter117
Write for Vital Football