Hercs in The Dressing Room post Newcastle
*We join the lads after their woeful performance at St. James' Park. A smiling Stephen Ireland is talking excitedly.*
Ireland: Wow!.... I mean I know I barely know you guys but that was a fantastic performance. Andy, Kevin, brilliant!
*The lads all look at each other*
Ireland: Where is Andy anyway? Still getting the man of the match champagne? So are we partying tonight then? Do we do that here?
NRC: Dude, we just lost 6-0.
Ireland: Lost .... 6-0?
NRC: Yeah we were terrible, I mean look at Brad.
*Brad Friedel is curled up in the foetal position in the corner shaking*
Friedel: They just keep comin'! ....and comin'!
*Kevin MacDonald enters, his hand covering his face*
MacDonald: Lads, what're you doing to me out there? this is my 'live application', I may as well have just marched into Mr.Lerners office pulled my pants down to my ankles and sang 'Yankee Doodle went to town' whilst saluting.
A.Young: You mean like Steve just did for 90 minutes boss?
MacDonald: Yes. Steve I told you to pull up those pants!
Warnock: Oh.... I thought you meant the other Steve boss.
(Warnock pulls up his pants and shorts)
MacDonald:(Sigh) Enough about pants. Ireland, you were supposed to be a make weight, not a paper weight!
Salifou: Yes, that job is taken.
*Salifou adjusts himself on the pile of documents he's sitting on. Ireland chuckles*
Ireland: Good one boss, you too Moustapha!
Salifou: BACK AWAY FROM MY PAPER!
Ireland: OK. Wow, calm down.
MacDonald: ....and defence, Dina Carroll and the Nolan sisters would've put six past you today! What's going on!?
Dunne: Now hang on... Was I supposed to be marking Dina Carroll out dere bass? Cuz I was tinkin' when a few of them went in 'Jaysus, I hope I'm not supposed ta pick up that lady dere'
Clark: Who's Dina Carroll?
*MacDonald rests his face in his hands.*