Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs' in The Dressing Room Before West Ham

Hercs' in The Dressing Room Before West Ham

*We join the lads gearing up for the first match of the season*

MacDonald: Right lads, West Ham, so I've done a bit of work and the tactics we'll be adopting will be...

Dunne: Tac? Tics?

MacDonald: Yeah, you know, tempo of our game, the type of passes we'll be using....

*The lads all look at MacDonald with varying degrees of confusion on their faces.*

MacDonald: Formations? Plan B?

*The confusion gets too much for Gabby he puts his hands over his ears*

Gabby: La la la la!

MacDonald: You're not familiar with this!? What did Martin do?

A.Young: He pulled names from a hat.

MacDonald: a hat!?

Davies: Yeah, but there was only ever the same eleven names in the hat.

Petrov: Ah, I loved that hat.

Heskey: Great hat.

MacDonald: and the subs bench?

*the lads look confused again*

Delph: I think he means the naughty step guys

Salifou: Oh, we had to fight it out in 'the cage' to get on the naughty step boss.

*Salifou points over to the showers where a knocked together sign reads 'The Cage' Osbourne's body lies unmoving below the sign*

MacDonald: .... Right so we're going to have to make some cha.....

*There is the loud blaring of a stereo followed by a knock at the door. MacDonald sighs and answers it. It's Avram Grant, he's topless and wearing baggy, gold, sequined trousers with shoulder suspenders, he is accompanied by Scott Parker and Keiron Dyer both are wearing gold hotpants and bikini tops*

Stereo:'Uh-Oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh Here comes the Hammer!'

Grant: Sss!

Stereo:'Uh-Oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh Here comes the Hammer!'

Grant: Sss!

*Grant is doing an elaborate dance set with Dyer and Parker dancing provocatively in the background as the song plays on*

MacDonald: Whoa, whoa whoa! I'm not having any of this!

*MacDonald switches off the stereo and slides it out the room*

Grant: But...

*Grant gestures over to Dyer and Parker who are still dancing with gusto in the silence.*

Macdonald: No, I'm running things differently to O'Neill, none of this 'MC. Hammer' madness.

*Dyer still dancing collapses in a heap screaming in agony and clutching his leg*

Gray: Tha's a bad one, he'll be out for tha season. If you look at his face, he knows it, a player always knows when it's a bad one.

Macdonald: Now where's Andy Gray's voice coming from!?

*the lads all shrug, the sound of hooven feet and insane laughter can be heard making their way to the office.*

MacDonald: Great, who's this now? The devil?

Sullivan: Hello Villa girls! Muhuhahahah!

MacDonald: Even worse.

Sullivan: I just dropped in to say I'm pricing Scott Parker way out of your league! Ha!

MacDonald: I don't want Scott Parker.

Sullivan: Not at this price tag you don't! Muhuhahahah!

MacDonald: Look at him!

*Parker stops patting Dyer on the back and looks down at his bikini and hotpant combo.*

Parker: What?

Sullivan: Humph! Well we're off! But first I must say, I loved 'Yah Mo B There'

MacDonald: That was Michael McDonald!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday August 13 2010
Time: 10:23AM

Comments

0
i do like these hercs another good one keep it up.
jljyid
13/08/2010 10:28:00
0
How do you think em up, :)
andy3221
13/08/2010 10:29:00
0
LOLOLOLOLOL
Villan444
13/08/2010 10:31:00
0
Excellent as always : )
steff_the_villan
13/08/2010 10:56:00
0
brilliant as ever mate . how do you do it ?
jaspervilla
13/08/2010 11:13:00
0
classic
sonicdeathmonkey
13/08/2010 11:47:00
0
Awesome as ever dude. Regards, your fellow Vital Villa comedy expert :o)
murph
13/08/2010 14:02:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Stats: Aston Villa v Preston North End

All the stats from Aston Villa (2) vs (2) Preston North End, Villa Park, 21/1/17 Att: 32,415

Aston Villa v Preston - Team Sheets

Aston Villa are at Villa Park with Preston the visitors for the latest Championship game.

Officials - Aston Villa v Preston (21/1/17)

The Football League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game between Aston Villa and Preston North End this Saturday.

The Villa Times - 20/01/2017 (Aston Villa News Round-up)

The very latest brand new sparkling news and views on Aston Villa via the uno fish ial one...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Preston MotM
Suggested By:
Johnstone10%
Hutton5%
Chester1%
Baker0%
Amavi0%
Lansbury5%
Westwood1%
Adomah37%
Grealish1%
Green8%
Agbonlahor32%
Sub - Bacuna0%
Sub - Gardner0%
Sub - Davis0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 27 19 1 7 58 33
2 Brighton 26 17 6 3 57 24
3 Huddersfield 27 15 4 8 49 2
4 Leeds Utd 27 15 3 9 48 10
5 Reading 26 14 4 8 46 2
6 Sheff Wed 27 13 6 8 45 5
7 Derby County 27 12 7 8 43 6
8 Barnsley 27 12 5 10 41 5
9 Fulham 26 10 10 6 40 13
10 Norwich 27 12 4 11 40 5
11 Preston 27 11 7 9 40 3
12 Birmingham 27 9 10 8 37 -5
13 Aston Villa 27 8 12 7 36 1
14 Ipswich 27 9 7 11 34 -5
15 Brentford 27 9 6 12 33 -1
16 Cardiff 26 9 6 11 33 -9
17 Q.P.R. 27 9 6 12 33 -11
18 Wolves 27 8 8 11 32 -3
19 Forest 27 8 6 13 30 -7
20 Bristol City 27 8 3 16 27 -4
21 Wigan 27 6 7 14 25 -8
22 Burton 27 6 7 14 25 -11
23 Blackburn 27 6 7 14 25 -12
24 Rotherham 27 4 4 19 16 -33
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Ecclestone wants to tear up the rulebook
Latest Vital Boxing News
Warren Set to Announce Williams v Smith?
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Jan 21 2017 3:00PM : Preston North End (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 28 2017 3:00PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 31 2017 7:45PM : Brentford (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 4 2017 5:30PM : Nottingham Forest (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 11 2017 3:00PM : Ipswich Town (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 14 2017 7:45PM : Barnsley (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear496
2.JuanPabloAngel301
3.Silhillvilla279
4.Fulford265
5.sirdennis262
6.Villan57207
7.Melon Donkey157
8.BodyButter149
9.danvilla2116
10.villasince67116
The Vital Football Members League