Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs' in The Dressing Room Before West Ham

Hercs' in The Dressing Room Before West Ham

*We join the lads gearing up for the first match of the season*

MacDonald: Right lads, West Ham, so I've done a bit of work and the tactics we'll be adopting will be...

Dunne: Tac? Tics?

MacDonald: Yeah, you know, tempo of our game, the type of passes we'll be using....

*The lads all look at MacDonald with varying degrees of confusion on their faces.*

MacDonald: Formations? Plan B?

*The confusion gets too much for Gabby he puts his hands over his ears*

Gabby: La la la la!

MacDonald: You're not familiar with this!? What did Martin do?

A.Young: He pulled names from a hat.

MacDonald: a hat!?

Davies: Yeah, but there was only ever the same eleven names in the hat.

Petrov: Ah, I loved that hat.

Heskey: Great hat.

MacDonald: and the subs bench?

*the lads look confused again*

Delph: I think he means the naughty step guys

Salifou: Oh, we had to fight it out in 'the cage' to get on the naughty step boss.

*Salifou points over to the showers where a knocked together sign reads 'The Cage' Osbourne's body lies unmoving below the sign*

MacDonald: .... Right so we're going to have to make some cha.....

*There is the loud blaring of a stereo followed by a knock at the door. MacDonald sighs and answers it. It's Avram Grant, he's topless and wearing baggy, gold, sequined trousers with shoulder suspenders, he is accompanied by Scott Parker and Keiron Dyer both are wearing gold hotpants and bikini tops*

Stereo:'Uh-Oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh Here comes the Hammer!'

Grant: Sss!

Stereo:'Uh-Oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh Here comes the Hammer!'

Grant: Sss!

*Grant is doing an elaborate dance set with Dyer and Parker dancing provocatively in the background as the song plays on*

MacDonald: Whoa, whoa whoa! I'm not having any of this!

*MacDonald switches off the stereo and slides it out the room*

Grant: But...

*Grant gestures over to Dyer and Parker who are still dancing with gusto in the silence.*

Macdonald: No, I'm running things differently to O'Neill, none of this 'MC. Hammer' madness.

*Dyer still dancing collapses in a heap screaming in agony and clutching his leg*

Gray: Tha's a bad one, he'll be out for tha season. If you look at his face, he knows it, a player always knows when it's a bad one.

Macdonald: Now where's Andy Gray's voice coming from!?

*the lads all shrug, the sound of hooven feet and insane laughter can be heard making their way to the office.*

MacDonald: Great, who's this now? The devil?

Sullivan: Hello Villa girls! Muhuhahahah!

MacDonald: Even worse.

Sullivan: I just dropped in to say I'm pricing Scott Parker way out of your league! Ha!

MacDonald: I don't want Scott Parker.

Sullivan: Not at this price tag you don't! Muhuhahahah!

MacDonald: Look at him!

*Parker stops patting Dyer on the back and looks down at his bikini and hotpant combo.*

Parker: What?

Sullivan: Humph! Well we're off! But first I must say, I loved 'Yah Mo B There'

MacDonald: That was Michael McDonald!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday August 13 2010
Time: 10:23AM

Comments

0
i do like these hercs another good one keep it up.
jljyid
13/08/2010 10:28:00
0
How do you think em up, :)
andy3221
13/08/2010 10:29:00
0
LOLOLOLOLOL
Villan444
13/08/2010 10:31:00
0
Excellent as always : )
steff_the_villan
13/08/2010 10:56:00
0
brilliant as ever mate . how do you do it ?
jaspervilla
13/08/2010 11:13:00
0
classic
sonicdeathmonkey
13/08/2010 11:47:00
0
Awesome as ever dude. Regards, your fellow Vital Villa comedy expert :o)
murph
13/08/2010 14:02:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Best of Vital Network

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Follow Live On Twitter - Blackburn v Aston Villa

Aston Villa go to Ewood Park as the visitors to Blackburn today, this will be a 3pm kick-off.

Something For The Weekend (573)

I just love it when a much-scorned player answers his critics, especially when that critic is myself.

Bruce Confirms Four Summer Targets Max

Manager Steve Bruce has confirmed that this summer he will be after four 'players of real quality' as we look for a real promotion challenge in 2017/18.

Kodjia's A Welcome Return For Bruce

Manager Steve Bruce has been waxing lyrical about striker Jonathan Kodjia once again.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Blackburn MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Johnstone0%
Hutton0%
Chester0%
Baker50%
Taylor50%
Bacuna0%
Hourihane0%
Gardner0%
Lansbury0%
Kodjia0%
Hogan0%
Sub - Agbonlahor0%
Sub - Adomah0%
Sub - Grealish0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
P Brighton 45 28 8 9 92 34
P Newcastle 45 28 7 10 91 42
3 Reading 45 25 7 13 82 2
4 Sheff Wed 45 24 9 12 81 16
5 Huddersfield 45 25 6 14 81 1
6 Fulham 45 21 14 10 77 27
7 Leeds Utd 45 22 8 15 74 14
8 Norwich 45 19 10 16 67 12
9 Derby County 45 18 12 15 66 4
10 Brentford 45 18 10 17 64 12
11 Preston 45 16 14 15 62 2
12 Aston Villa 45 16 13 16 61 -1
13 Cardiff 45 16 11 18 59 -4
14 Barnsley 45 15 13 17 58 0
15 Wolves 45 15 10 20 55 -5
16 Ipswich 45 13 16 16 55 -7
17 Bristol City 45 15 9 21 54 -5
18 Q.P.R. 45 15 8 22 53 -10
19 Burton 45 13 13 19 52 -12
20 Birmingham 45 12 14 19 50 -20
21 Forest 45 13 9 23 48 -13
22 Blackburn 45 11 15 19 48 -14
R Wigan 45 10 11 24 41 -17
R Rotherham 45 5 7 33 22 -58
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Blog: Sochi Qualifying
Latest Vital Boxing News
Wembley Stadium – Running Order
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

May 7 2017 12:00PM : Brighton & Hove Albion (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.JuanPabloAngel414
2.Pride of Lions369
3.The Fear303
4.sirdennis293
5.Silhillvilla219
6.Melon Donkey187
7.HeathfieldRoad1874186
8.kefkat165
9.Fulford156
10.Sasquatch148
Write for Vital Football