Hercs in the Dressing Room - Bohemians FC

We join the lads gearing for their pre-season match against Bohemians*

A.Young: What're you doing there Fabian?

Delph: Making a daisy chain. I was thinking I'd give it to the captain of the opposing team.

*A.Young looks confused*

Delph: Well you know, it's a 'friendly' after all. What do you want me to do? Break their legs?

*A.Young and Delph chuckle*

A.Young: I suppose when you put it like that.

*Delph drops his flowers and his face turns stern*

Delph: Well if you insist. I'll break their legs.

A.Young: What? I didn't....

Delph: No, no Ashley. I see you like a teacher, an idol, I hold you in the highest regard so if you're telling me to go out there and injure them all then that's what I'll do.

A.Young: No I...

Delph: Done.

A.Young: but...

*Delph is already off practicing kicking and slide tackling, A.Young sighs as MON enters*

MON: Hi guys!

All the Lads: Hi boss!

*MON turns to NRC enraged*

MON: What did you call me!?

*NRC cringes*

NRC: What? I said 'boss', boss like everyone else.

*MON is shaking his fist, A.Young changes the subject as NRC scampers behind Carew*

A.Young: So boss, who are the 'Bohemians'? I put them in Wikipedia on the old laptop and it just said they were french gypsies.

MON: No Ashley, they're nothing of the sort, that's just the historical reference of the...

Delfouneso: Is it like in that really old song boss?

MON: Yes, that's right Nathan, like the....

*Delfouneso & Delph sing*

Delfouneso: Re-ewind when the crowd say Bohemian

Delfouneso & Delph: Selecta!

MON: What? No I thought you meant the song by Queen.

Osbourne: You're signing Robbie Keane!? Hurray!

MON: No, no I said Queen.

Salifou: Robbie Keane's in Queen?

MON: No I didn't say anything about Robbie Keane!

Osbourne: Ah, keeping it under wraps boss?

*Osbourne taps his nose then points at MON*

MON: No Isaiah I.....

Salifou: What so you're just going to run to the papers? That's not like you boss.

MON: There will be no Robbie Keane ... Unless of course I sign Robbie Keane.

Osbourne: Wait .... So are we signing Robbie Keane ... Or not?

*There is a knock at the door, MON answers. It's the manager of Bohemians F.C, Pat Fenlon*

Fenlon: Bonjour Marteen. Can I interest you in ze lucky heather before ze match?

MON: No .... Thankyou anyway Pat.

*MON is closing the door whilst Fenlon is fighting against it, his head is struggling to peer around the door*

Fenlon: After ze match, ma boys, zey can tarmac ze drive for you?

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