Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Man City
*We join the lads pondering their loss to Man City and missing out on Champion's League*
MON: Lads I'm not going to lie, you've let me down, I mean missing out on Champion's League? Who am I? Rafa Benitez?
*the dressing room erupts with laughter except for Warnock who has his head bowed*
MON: Oh Steve, don't be so hard on yourself, it's not so bad.
Warnock: Really boss?
*Warnock smiles as tears and snot run toward his grin.*
MON: No! Hoist it aloft boys!
*The lads pull ropes and a large crucifix is erected, Warnock looks at it wide-eyed with terror.*
MON: Playing a left back at left back ... What was I thinking? See if that happens again!
Heskey: I'm just glad there's not a 'no goal' crucifix.
*MON rubs his chin*
Later on a hill near Bodymoor Heath....
Heskey: .... So I said I've got it Wayne, I'll pass it to you and YOU score. I mean of course once I'd taught him to score he couldn't stop and.....
Warnock: Emile you've been telling your rubbish England story lies for 9 hours solid now as if us hanging from crosses whilst birds peck at and defacate on us isn't punishment enough!
NRC: I don't even know why they hung me up here! Man, talk about 'don't cross the boss'.
*NRC chuckles to himself*
NRC: Get it? 'Cross'
*Heskey and Warnock look across at NRC with narrowed eyes*
NRC: Geez guys, lets not be negative. Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad.
*Delph wheels up the hill*
Delph: #Petrov told me our hotel was cursed.#
*Cuellar appears a flank of meat in hand*
Cuellar: #When you're chewin' trotter gristle.#
Heskey: #and past the post your shots all whistle.#
*The lads all emerge including MON, joining hands around the crucified three swaying and singing.*
All the Lads: Just remember Villa are the beeeeest and always look on the bright side of life........
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