Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Man City

*We join the lads pondering their loss to Man City and missing out on Champion's League*

MON: Lads I'm not going to lie, you've let me down, I mean missing out on Champion's League? Who am I? Rafa Benitez?

*the dressing room erupts with laughter except for Warnock who has his head bowed*

MON: Oh Steve, don't be so hard on yourself, it's not so bad.

Warnock: Really boss?

*Warnock smiles as tears and snot run toward his grin.*

MON: No! Hoist it aloft boys!

*The lads pull ropes and a large crucifix is erected, Warnock looks at it wide-eyed with terror.*

MON: Playing a left back at left back ... What was I thinking? See if that happens again!

Heskey: I'm just glad there's not a 'no goal' crucifix.

*MON rubs his chin*

MON: Hmmmmm....

........

Later on a hill near Bodymoor Heath....

......

Heskey: .... So I said I've got it Wayne, I'll pass it to you and YOU score. I mean of course once I'd taught him to score he couldn't stop and.....

Warnock: Emile you've been telling your rubbish England story lies for 9 hours solid now as if us hanging from crosses whilst birds peck at and defacate on us isn't punishment enough!

NRC: I don't even know why they hung me up here! Man, talk about 'don't cross the boss'.

*NRC chuckles to himself*

NRC: Get it? 'Cross'

*Heskey and Warnock look across at NRC with narrowed eyes*

NRC: Geez guys, lets not be negative. Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad.

*Delph wheels up the hill*

Delph: #Petrov told me our hotel was cursed.#

*Cuellar appears a flank of meat in hand*

Cuellar: #When you're chewin' trotter gristle.#

Heskey: #and past the post your shots all whistle.#

*The lads all emerge including MON, joining hands around the crucified three swaying and singing.*

All the Lads: Just remember Villa are the beeeeest and always look on the bright side of life........

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