Date:Friday April 30 2010
*We join the lads preparing for their clash against Man City. MON is visibly confident*
MON: Chins up lads, we can win this one with ease, They're playing a keeper from the Faroe Islands, as far as I know all that lives there are sheep. They don't even have poseable thumbs! On top of that my scouts have reliably informed me that no-one outside of the british isles can even play football to a worthwhile level.
Delfouneso: What about Messi?
MON: Messy? What is this some of your 'jive', street lingo Nathan?
Delfouneso: What? No boss he's a ...
MON: I'll have none of your hippity hop nonsense in here young man. And...
A.Young: Actually boss the people of the Faroe Islands are considered under the Kindom of Denmark and...
MON: Denmark!? Pah! Who's ever won anything with a danish keeper?
Milner: Besides boss, they've made an emergency loan like.
MON: Emergency loan!? Even better!
*MON is ecstatic jumping on the spot. The lads are confused. MON addresses their confusion*
MON: Two words. Gabor. Kiraly.
*The lads all gasp with horror*
Gabby: I still have jogging trouser nightmares.
*Petrov has fallen to his knees the palms of his hands pressed firmly on his temples, eyes crushed closed*
Petrov: The sweat pants! .... The sweat pants!
MON: Yes! It'll cause uncertainty and no doubt terrible 'keeping. Who is the unlucky player?
Milner: Marton Fulop.
MON: Martin Fuller?
NRC: Fulop boss Fulop.
MON: Full of it am I Nigel!? See if you play again!?!
NRC: What!? ...I didn't..... I mean .. I said.
MON: Not the smart mouth now are you!? Anyway, enough of how we are going to easily defeat Man City. It's time for me to announce the squad.
*MON gestures to some closed claret and blue curtains aside a golden rope*
MON: Now I'm going to let the fringe players have a go as promised.
*The likes of Sidwell, Beye and Ciaran Clark look at each other wide-eyed with excitement*
Robertson: Dah da-da-da-da daaaaaaah!
*MON pulls the golden rope to John Robertson's 'fanfare' the curtains open and the lads lean in to see the team*
Sidwell: Hey! This side is unchanged from the last two games.
MON: Oh but is it Steve?
MON: ... Oh but is it!?
MON: OK ... It is.
Beye: But boss you said the fringe players would....
MON: That I did Habib my good man. First team, under your chairs you will find combs with which you can comb yourself forward a fringe.
*The first team do as such combing their hair forward as requested, Collins, Gabby and Friedel in particular look upset.*
MON: Not to worry lads, for you I have these.
*MON produces a number of wigs.*
MON: Here you go.
*MON hands Friedel a 'dreadlock' wig, Gabby the wig of a '60's news anchorman' and Collins a 'lustrous long curly blonde' wig, he hands thebox to the rest of the short haired players, Cuellar is still struggling to comb a fringe into his hair with Petrov helping*
Cuellar: I cannae do it cap'ain I doon't have the appropriate comb!
*Clark jumps to his feet with an expression of invention*
Clarke: Hey I have a fringe does that mean I can...
*Robertson appears beside Clark deftly snipping off his fringe with barber's scissors.*
Clarke: My fringe!
Sidwell: This is nonsense! You said fringe players anyway not 'fringed'
MON: Yes, but that wouldn't have really worked for the joke would it.
*The first team laugh whilst the fringe players scowl. Brad Friedel produces a guitar and begins singing 'Buffalo Soldier' the lads all unite and sing along*
Date:Friday April 30 2010
Delph Must Be Kept - Poll Results (Thursday October 2 2014)
Football vs Golf (Wednesday October 1 2014)
The Villa Times - 30/09/2014 (Tuesday September 30 2014)
Which Villan Would You Most Like To Keep? (Monday September 29 2014)
U21s - Villa 3-0 Bolton (Monday September 29 2014)
Benteke Steps Up His Fitness (Monday September 29 2014)
The Vital Villa Fantasy League Table (Monday September 29 2014)
Lambert Content Following Chelsea Loss (Sunday September 28 2014)
Stats: Chelsea v Aston Villa (Saturday September 27 2014)
Vital Villa Match Day - Villa Away To Chelsea (Saturday September 27 2014)
|2.||Pride of Lions||42|
|Aston Villa||2||-||1||Hull City|
|3. Man City||6||3||2||1||5||11|
|6. Aston Villa||6||3||1||2||-3||10|
|7. Man Utd||6||2||2||2||2||8|
|9. Crystal Palace||6||2||2||2||0||8|
» Arsenal : 02/10/2014 13:16:00
|Delph Must Be Kept - Poll Results
» Aston Villa : 02/10/2014 12:30:00
|Everton fly out to Russia without key players
» Everton : 02/10/2014 10:50:00
|Liverpool: Rodgers Bemoans 'Soft' Goal
» Liverpool : 02/10/2014 08:50:00
» Liverpool : 02/10/2014 08:00:00