Date:Friday April 30 2010
*We join the lads preparing for their clash against Man City. MON is visibly confident*
MON: Chins up lads, we can win this one with ease, They're playing a keeper from the Faroe Islands, as far as I know all that lives there are sheep. They don't even have poseable thumbs! On top of that my scouts have reliably informed me that no-one outside of the british isles can even play football to a worthwhile level.
Delfouneso: What about Messi?
MON: Messy? What is this some of your 'jive', street lingo Nathan?
Delfouneso: What? No boss he's a ...
MON: I'll have none of your hippity hop nonsense in here young man. And...
A.Young: Actually boss the people of the Faroe Islands are considered under the Kindom of Denmark and...
MON: Denmark!? Pah! Who's ever won anything with a danish keeper?
Milner: Besides boss, they've made an emergency loan like.
MON: Emergency loan!? Even better!
*MON is ecstatic jumping on the spot. The lads are confused. MON addresses their confusion*
MON: Two words. Gabor. Kiraly.
*The lads all gasp with horror*
Gabby: I still have jogging trouser nightmares.
*Petrov has fallen to his knees the palms of his hands pressed firmly on his temples, eyes crushed closed*
Petrov: The sweat pants! .... The sweat pants!
MON: Yes! It'll cause uncertainty and no doubt terrible 'keeping. Who is the unlucky player?
Milner: Marton Fulop.
MON: Martin Fuller?
NRC: Fulop boss Fulop.
MON: Full of it am I Nigel!? See if you play again!?!
NRC: What!? ...I didn't..... I mean .. I said.
MON: Not the smart mouth now are you!? Anyway, enough of how we are going to easily defeat Man City. It's time for me to announce the squad.
*MON gestures to some closed claret and blue curtains aside a golden rope*
MON: Now I'm going to let the fringe players have a go as promised.
*The likes of Sidwell, Beye and Ciaran Clark look at each other wide-eyed with excitement*
Robertson: Dah da-da-da-da daaaaaaah!
*MON pulls the golden rope to John Robertson's 'fanfare' the curtains open and the lads lean in to see the team*
Sidwell: Hey! This side is unchanged from the last two games.
MON: Oh but is it Steve?
MON: ... Oh but is it!?
MON: OK ... It is.
Beye: But boss you said the fringe players would....
MON: That I did Habib my good man. First team, under your chairs you will find combs with which you can comb yourself forward a fringe.
*The first team do as such combing their hair forward as requested, Collins, Gabby and Friedel in particular look upset.*
MON: Not to worry lads, for you I have these.
*MON produces a number of wigs.*
MON: Here you go.
*MON hands Friedel a 'dreadlock' wig, Gabby the wig of a '60's news anchorman' and Collins a 'lustrous long curly blonde' wig, he hands thebox to the rest of the short haired players, Cuellar is still struggling to comb a fringe into his hair with Petrov helping*
Cuellar: I cannae do it cap'ain I doon't have the appropriate comb!
*Clark jumps to his feet with an expression of invention*
Clarke: Hey I have a fringe does that mean I can...
*Robertson appears beside Clark deftly snipping off his fringe with barber's scissors.*
Clarke: My fringe!
Sidwell: This is nonsense! You said fringe players anyway not 'fringed'
MON: Yes, but that wouldn't have really worked for the joke would it.
*The first team laugh whilst the fringe players scowl. Brad Friedel produces a guitar and begins singing 'Buffalo Soldier' the lads all unite and sing along*
Date:Friday April 30 2010
Mixed Emotions Following Manchester United Draw (Saturday December 20 2014)
Heroic Effort By Aston Villa v Man Utd Today (Saturday December 20 2014)
Stats: Aston Villa v Man U (Saturday December 20 2014)
Lambert - Duo Going Nowhere In January (Saturday December 20 2014)
Aston Villa v Manchester United: Team Line-Ups (Saturday December 20 2014)
Something For The Weekend (476) (Friday December 19 2014)
Clark Talks Manchester United & Okore (Friday December 19 2014)
Lambert's Big Manchester United Belief (Friday December 19 2014)
Villa Injury News Pre Manchester United (Friday December 19 2014)
Cissokho Relishing Manchester United (Friday December 19 2014)
|2.||Pride of Lions||644|
|Aston Villa||1||-||1||Man Utd|
|Aston Villa||2||-||1||Leicester City|
|Crystal Palace||0||-||1||Aston Villa|
|12. Aston Villa||17||5||5||7||-10||20|
» Swansea : 20/12/2014 21:40:00
|Bruce: We're Missing Our Big Players
» Swansea : 20/12/2014 21:29:00
|Wholesale Team Changes Pay Off For Monk
» Swansea : 20/12/2014 21:23:00
|Awesome Austin Blitzes Baggies
» Q.P.R. : 20/12/2014 21:03:00
|Bruce - We Weren't Good Enough Against Swansea
» Hull City : 20/12/2014 20:53:00