UK time is: 01:17:33
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Birmingham City

*We join the lads celebrating their victory over Birmingham City*

MON: Well another well deserved victory lads!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

MON: I tell you if City weren't even going to try I don't know why they bothered turning up.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter again*

MON: I'm on a roll, how about this one? ... Gabriel Agbonlahor walks into a bar..... Penalty.

*The dressing room roars with laughter, Gabby steps forward grinning*

Gabby: Pint please.

*The lads all laugh again, Gabby looks confused maintaining a polite, waiting smile*

Gabby: ..... Oooh yeah the boss is here, half a shandy please?

*The lads have all fallen silent and are staring at Gabby*

MON: Gabriel ... You're not actually in a bar....

*Gabby hasn't heard, he's disco dancing in the silence*

MON: Gabriel!

Gabby: Yes boss? Bit of a sausage fest in here isn't it?

MON: You're not in a bar.

Gabby: But you just said.

MON: It was a joke. Now Brad, excellent game you're truly world class, really turned back the years you did, like a machine you are.

*a battered and bruised Friedel raises one of his steaming gloves with a thumb aloft whilst still breathing into his oxygen mask.*

MON: And Emile you were an inch away from being a hero.

Milner: A hero like me boss like?

MON: Yes James a hero like you, Oh Emile, one day the fans will shout your name from the stands without expletives on either end of it.

Heskey: I live in hope boss.

MON: Now get on the no goal chair.

Heskey: but boss Gabby and John didn't....

MON: Chair!

*Heskey skulks to the chair facing the wall, there is a knock at the door, it's Roger Johnson, he's fuming.*

MON: Ah Roger, here to apologise to Gabriel over your horror tackle?

Johnson: Disgrace!

MON: Quite right, you are I mean to take a player down in the box like that.

Johnson: What!? It was never a penalty, I got the ball.

MON: I'll say you've got some balls disputing that blatant penalty.

Johnson: What!?..... I didn't mean .... But...... I ..... Disgrace!

MON: Agreed. Shame on you.

*MON slams the door and turns back to the lads, mumbling and the loud cries of 'Disgrace!' can be heard through the door.*

MON: Now lads, it's time for a sing song. My old man said be a City fan he said ... Everybody.....

*The lads all join in jovially*

Gabby: The service here is rubbish.



Happy Derby Day One and All!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday April 26 2010

Time: 1:39PM

Your Comments

I agree.....been 'off colour' lately, but back witha bang - TOP DRAWER! ...Disgrace!
YatesyVillain
Gabby walks into a bar.....penalty! Brilliant
longbridgelion
just love the image of the no goal chair!
The Fear
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Delph Out Until The New Year (Saturday October 25 2014)

Lambert Looking For QPR Response (Friday October 24 2014)

QPR Injury Update (Friday October 24 2014)

The Villa Times - 24/10/2014 (Friday October 24 2014)

Lambert - Time To Change Our Focus (Thursday October 23 2014)

Vlaar Wants A Return To Winning Ways (Thursday October 23 2014)

Drennan Returns - So Time For A Round Up (Wednesday October 22 2014)

Okore Not Ready For Premiership Action (Tuesday October 21 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 748
2. The Fear 712
3. ClivetheVillan 587
4. thefacehead 482
5. HeathfieldRoad1874 240
6. sirdennis 233
7. kefkat 222
8. Villan Of The North 162
9. Clubpaver 144
10. DeanoVilla 142

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
10. Spurs 8 3 2 3 -1 11
11. Stoke 9 3 2 4 -2 11
12. WBA 9 2 4 3 -1 10
13. Aston Villa 8 3 1 4 -8 10
14. Everton 8 2 3 3 0 9
15. Leicester City 8 2 3 3 -2 9
16. Crystal Palace 9 2 3 4 -3 9

Breaking League News

Three Points And No Mistake!
Arsenal : 26/10/2014 00:35:00
Swansea : 25/10/2014 23:45:00
Monk: We'll Work On Our Decision Making
Swansea : 25/10/2014 22:43:00
Report - Swansea City 2-0 Leicester City
Swansea : 25/10/2014 22:15:00
Much More To Come
Man Utd : 25/10/2014 22:00:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v QPR (away) will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win - whoop! 43%
Lose - we go again! 42%
Draw - meh! 15%