Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Birmingham City
*We join the lads celebrating their victory over Birmingham City*
MON: Well another well deserved victory lads!
*The dressing room erupts with laughter*
MON: I tell you if City weren't even going to try I don't know why they bothered turning up.
*The dressing room erupts with laughter again*
MON: I'm on a roll, how about this one? ... Gabriel Agbonlahor walks into a bar..... Penalty.
*The dressing room roars with laughter, Gabby steps forward grinning*
Gabby: Pint please.
*The lads all laugh again, Gabby looks confused maintaining a polite, waiting smile*
Gabby: ..... Oooh yeah the boss is here, half a shandy please?
*The lads have all fallen silent and are staring at Gabby*
MON: Gabriel ... You're not actually in a bar....
*Gabby hasn't heard, he's disco dancing in the silence*
Gabby: Yes boss? Bit of a sausage fest in here isn't it?
MON: You're not in a bar.
Gabby: But you just said.
MON: It was a joke. Now Brad, excellent game you're truly world class, really turned back the years you did, like a machine you are.
*a battered and bruised Friedel raises one of his steaming gloves with a thumb aloft whilst still breathing into his oxygen mask.*
MON: And Emile you were an inch away from being a hero.
Milner: A hero like me boss like?
MON: Yes James a hero like you, Oh Emile, one day the fans will shout your name from the stands without expletives on either end of it.
Heskey: I live in hope boss.
MON: Now get on the no goal chair.
Heskey: but boss Gabby and John didn't....
*Heskey skulks to the chair facing the wall, there is a knock at the door, it's Roger Johnson, he's fuming.*
MON: Ah Roger, here to apologise to Gabriel over your horror tackle?
MON: Quite right, you are I mean to take a player down in the box like that.
Johnson: What!? It was never a penalty, I got the ball.
MON: I'll say you've got some balls disputing that blatant penalty.
Johnson: What!?..... I didn't mean .... But...... I ..... Disgrace!
MON: Agreed. Shame on you.
*MON slams the door and turns back to the lads, mumbling and the loud cries of 'Disgrace!' can be heard through the door.*
MON: Now lads, it's time for a sing song. My old man said be a City fan he said ... Everybody.....
*The lads all join in jovially*
Gabby: The service here is rubbish.
Happy Derby Day One and All!