UK time is: 15:09:06
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room Before Hull City

*We join the lads preparing for their clash against Hull City*

MON: Right lads, I think we're ready to go to Hull.

Heskey: Noooooo! Oh sweet Lord what sins have we committed to deserve to go to the eternal pit of anguish and horror!?

MON: No, no Emile, I said HULL, as in Hull City.

Heskey: I know boss.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

MON: Now we'll have to be careful against the tigers, they're in the relegation fight and you know what they say about 'an animal backed into a corner' ....

Gabby: That they're rubbish at football?

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Gabby: What?

MON: No Gabriel, they say....

Gabby: wait so animals backed into corners are good at football?

MON: No, no I'm saying that when backed into corners they come out fighting.

Gabby: I don't think they'll fight us boss, Jimmy Bullard's really nice, one time he came over and he said....

MON: Not literally fight us Gabriel.

Gabby: Oh you were speaking in metaphorical terms? Why didn't you just say that?

*The lads all stare at Gabby*

Gabby: What?

MON: Now Nathan....

Delfouneso: Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God!

MON: Nathan?

Delphouneso: I kicked it ... and .... It went in.

A.Young: Did you not see his face when he scored boss? .... He's still not recovered from the shock.

*A wide eyed Delfouneso stands robotically and mimics the goal he scored, then sits back down again. Then he repeats the process*

MON: O....K, Nathan you're starting. Lads put the ball on that.

*MON points to Delfouneso's boot as he swings it up slowly once more repeating his scoring action.*

A.Young: Really bad news about Fabian with the injury boss.

MON: Yes, terrible shame.

A.Young: Have you not invited him to come along as a spectator?

MON: No .... I think .... He's best just resting for now.

*MON envisions Delph crashing his wheelchair into Hull's players as they arrive using his plastered leg as a battering ram, he shakes his head and returns to focus.*

MON: OK everyone, let's get on the coach.




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday April 21 2010

Time: 12:30PM

Your Comments

little soft this time, but still funny
vangogo
Hilarious again. When's the book out?
Jongekki
We should be all right then Mikez ;oP
villan of the north
"the eternal pit of anguish and horror" A perfect description of Hull. Pronounced HOLE by those who live there.
andy5759
hercs does del and delph so well!
benji_starsky_avfc
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Villa's Dealings Done? (Monday September 1 2014)

Canales Bid Made? (Monday September 1 2014)

The Villa Times - 01/09/2014 (Monday September 1 2014)

Ron Vlaar Going NOWHERE - Concrete News (Monday September 1 2014)

Dreams Come True At Villa Park (Monday September 1 2014)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. The Fear 72
2. DeanoVilla 55
3. Pride of Lions 40
4. david-avfc 31
5. sirdennis 28
6. Fulford 26
7. kefkat 19
8. MiniCooper 19
9. littleburtonvilla 18
10. Bonker 17

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
Aston Villa 2 - 1 Hull City
Aston Villa 0 - 0 Newcastle
Stoke 0 - 1 Aston Villa

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Chelsea 3 3 0 0 +7 9
2. Swansea 3 3 0 0 +5 9
3. Aston Villa 3 2 1 0 +2 7
4. Man City 3 2 0 1 +3 6
5. Liverpool 3 2 0 1 +2 6
6. Spurs 3 2 0 1 +2 6
7. Arsenal 3 1 2 0 +1 5

Breaking League News

Welbeck Goes to Arsenal
Man Utd : 02/09/2014 13:08:00
Maybe Lambert Is Getting Clever(ley) After All?
Aston Villa : 02/09/2014 12:57:00
No Signings, But Keeping Bony Feels Like One
Swansea : 02/09/2014 12:11:00
Welbeck Closes Arsenal's Transfer Window
Arsenal : 02/09/2014 10:24:00
Cleverley Stay`s
Man Utd : 02/09/2014 10:04:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa Player Of Month (August)
Suggested By:  JP Fear
Guzan 6%
Cissokho 21%
Hutton 53%
Senderos 3%
Vlaar 2%
Delph 2%
Richardson 1%
Westwood 1%
Sanchez 0%
N'Zogbia 1%
Bent 1%
Grealish 2%
Agbonlahor 5%
Weimann 2%