Aston Villa News 24/7Writer: Hercs 
Date:Wednesday April 21 2010
Time: 12:30PM
UK time is: 17:40:53
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Hercs In The Dressing Room Before Hull City
*We join the lads preparing for their clash against Hull City*
MON: Right lads, I think we're ready to go to Hull.
Heskey: Noooooo! Oh sweet Lord what sins have we committed to deserve to go to the eternal pit of anguish and horror!?
MON: No, no Emile, I said HULL, as in Hull City.
Heskey: I know boss.
*The dressing room erupts with laughter*
MON: Now we'll have to be careful against the tigers, they're in the relegation fight and you know what they say about 'an animal backed into a corner' ....
Gabby: That they're rubbish at football?
*The dressing room erupts with laughter*
Gabby: What?
MON: No Gabriel, they say....
Gabby: wait so animals backed into corners are good at football?
MON: No, no I'm saying that when backed into corners they come out fighting.
Gabby: I don't think they'll fight us boss, Jimmy Bullard's really nice, one time he came over and he said....
MON: Not literally fight us Gabriel.
Gabby: Oh you were speaking in metaphorical terms? Why didn't you just say that?
*The lads all stare at Gabby*
Gabby: What?
MON: Now Nathan....
Delfouneso: Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God!
MON: Nathan?
Delphouneso: I kicked it ... and .... It went in.
A.Young: Did you not see his face when he scored boss? .... He's still not recovered from the shock.
*A wide eyed Delfouneso stands robotically and mimics the goal he scored, then sits back down again. Then he repeats the process*
MON: O....K, Nathan you're starting. Lads put the ball on that.
*MON points to Delfouneso's boot as he swings it up slowly once more repeating his scoring action.*
A.Young: Really bad news about Fabian with the injury boss.
MON: Yes, terrible shame.
A.Young: Have you not invited him to come along as a spectator?
MON: No .... I think .... He's best just resting for now.
*MON envisions Delph crashing his wheelchair into Hull's players as they arrive using his plastered leg as a battering ram, he shakes his head and returns to focus.*
MON: OK everyone, let's get on the coach.
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Your Comments
little soft this time, but still funny
vangogo
Hilarious again. When's the book out?
Jongekki
We should be all right then Mikez ;oP
villan of the north
"the eternal pit of anguish and horror"
A perfect description of Hull. Pronounced HOLE by those who live there.
andy5759
hercs does del and delph so well!
benji_starsky_avfc
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