Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room Before Hull City

Hercs In The Dressing Room Before Hull City

*We join the lads preparing for their clash against Hull City*

MON: Right lads, I think we're ready to go to Hull.

Heskey: Noooooo! Oh sweet Lord what sins have we committed to deserve to go to the eternal pit of anguish and horror!?

MON: No, no Emile, I said HULL, as in Hull City.

Heskey: I know boss.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

MON: Now we'll have to be careful against the tigers, they're in the relegation fight and you know what they say about 'an animal backed into a corner' ....

Gabby: That they're rubbish at football?

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Gabby: What?

MON: No Gabriel, they say....

Gabby: wait so animals backed into corners are good at football?

MON: No, no I'm saying that when backed into corners they come out fighting.

Gabby: I don't think they'll fight us boss, Jimmy Bullard's really nice, one time he came over and he said....

MON: Not literally fight us Gabriel.

Gabby: Oh you were speaking in metaphorical terms? Why didn't you just say that?

*The lads all stare at Gabby*

Gabby: What?

MON: Now Nathan....

Delfouneso: Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God!

MON: Nathan?

Delphouneso: I kicked it ... and .... It went in.

A.Young: Did you not see his face when he scored boss? .... He's still not recovered from the shock.

*A wide eyed Delfouneso stands robotically and mimics the goal he scored, then sits back down again. Then he repeats the process*

MON: O....K, Nathan you're starting. Lads put the ball on that.

*MON points to Delfouneso's boot as he swings it up slowly once more repeating his scoring action.*

A.Young: Really bad news about Fabian with the injury boss.

MON: Yes, terrible shame.

A.Young: Have you not invited him to come along as a spectator?

MON: No .... I think .... He's best just resting for now.

*MON envisions Delph crashing his wheelchair into Hull's players as they arrive using his plastered leg as a battering ram, he shakes his head and returns to focus.*

MON: OK everyone, let's get on the coach.



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Wednesday April 21 2010
Time: 12:30PM

Comments

0
little soft this time, but still funny
vangogo
21/04/2010 12:56:00
0
Hilarious again. When's the book out?
Jongekki
21/04/2010 13:37:00
0
We should be all right then Mikez ;oP
villan of the north
21/04/2010 13:39:00
0
"the eternal pit of anguish and horror" A perfect description of Hull. Pronounced HOLE by those who live there.
andy5759
21/04/2010 14:46:00
0
hercs does del and delph so well!
benji_starsky_avfc
21/04/2010 15:33:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

FAYC - Manchester City Tie To Be Screened

Aston Villa have confirmed that the FA Youth Cup tie against Manchester City this midweek will be screened on the clubs' Facebook channel.

January (Part Feb) Villa Loan Update (21/2/17)

Aston Villa have a few players out on loan this season, so here's the next update of the 2016/17 campaign.

Groundhog Day For Bruce

Manager Steve Bruce has again been desperately trying to take the positives following yet another defeat in 2017 - this time to Newcastle United.

U23s - Aston Villa 0 Stoke 2

Aston Villa's Under 23 side lost out two nil in their most recent Premier League 2 encounter against Stoke City.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Newcastle MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Johnstone7%
Hutton41%
Chester5%
Elphick4%
Taylor9%
Jedinak2%
Bjarnason6%
Lansbury12%
Hourihane2%
Kodjia1%
Hogan1%
Sub - Adomah1%
Sub - Gardner5%
Sub - Bacuna4%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 32 22 3 7 69 37
2 Brighton 32 20 8 4 68 28
3 Huddersfield 31 19 4 8 61 7
4 Reading 32 18 6 8 60 6
5 Leeds Utd 33 18 4 11 58 11
6 Sheff Wed 32 17 7 8 58 11
7 Norwich 33 15 6 12 51 11
8 Fulham 31 13 10 8 49 15
9 Barnsley 33 14 7 12 49 4
10 Preston 33 13 10 10 49 4
11 Derby County 31 13 8 10 47 7
12 Cardiff 33 13 6 14 45 -2
13 Ipswich 33 10 11 12 41 -7
14 Birmingham 33 10 10 13 40 -14
15 Brentford 31 10 7 14 37 -1
16 Q.P.R. 32 10 7 15 37 -11
17 Aston Villa 32 8 12 12 36 -8
18 Forest 33 10 6 17 36 -12
19 Wolves 31 9 8 14 35 -4
20 Burton 32 9 7 16 34 -13
21 Bristol City 31 9 5 17 32 -4
22 Wigan 32 7 9 16 30 -9
23 Blackburn 31 7 8 16 29 -13
24 Rotherham 33 4 5 24 17 -43
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
New deals for Wolff and Lauda
Latest Vital Boxing News
Scott Quigg Teams up with Freddie Roach
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 25 2017 3:00PM : Derby County (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 28 2017 7:45PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 4 2017 3:00PM : Rotherham United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 7 2017 7:45PM : Huddersfield Town (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 11 2017 3:00PM : Sheffield Wednesday (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 18 2017 3:00PM : Wigan Athletic (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear340
2.JuanPabloAngel318
3.sirdennis301
4.Fulford207
5.Melon Donkey178
6.Silhillvilla169
7.villasince67153
8.McParlandTheGreat129
9.Villan57127
10.kefkat124
Write for Vital Football