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'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Portsmouth

*We join the lads celebrating their victory against Portsmouth MON enters*

MON: Alright settle down lads, we may have beat Pompey but lets face it, they were playing a pensioner upfront.

Robertson: Kanu.

MON: Then they drafted in Zorro.

Robertson: Tommy Smith.

MON: and they were playing a 10 year old left back.

NRC: Sowah?

MON: So what? So what!? You're on the thinnest ice Nigel, I'm lenient enough to grant you some bench time and you repay me with this insolence!?

NRC: No boss Sowah is the....

MON: So what!?!?!

*The lads are now restraining a furious MON*

A.Young: Calm down boss.

Heskey: There's no need for contretemps.

Delph: Get 'im boss! Don't stand for that!

*The lads all look at Delph, he lowers his grin and head then rubs his knee for sympathy*

MON: Right ..... Right, I'm OK.

*MON calms, he dusts down his tracksuit, the lads all unhand MON .... He then lurches for NRC again*

MON: I'll give you so what!!!

*The ruckus is interrupted by Delfouneso's arrival, he pushes open the door, everyone turns to see him with a girl on each arm in a white t-shirt, jeans and a leather jacket. he has two upturned thumbs outstretched, there is canned applause playing .... The lads are looking all around themselves to see where it's coming from*

Delphouneso: Eeeeeeeeeeeeh!

*the applause gets louder*

A.Young: Wow, they don't call him the Fonz for nothing.

Gabby: Yeah, it sure is a shortened version of his name.

MON: Ah here he is, the player I made with my own two hands. Once again I've showed how I'm all about 'Plan B' and making substitutions to win matches.

*The lads raise their eyebrows.*

MON: What? What's this eyebrow raising about? Nigel you're eyebrows are the highest, explain yourself!

*NRC hadn't raised his eyebrows*

NRC: What? Their plucked.

MON: What the what?! Oh ... Foul and abusive language now is it!?

*MON grabs NRC in a headlock*

NRC (choking): Plucked! Plucked!

*The lads rush to NRC's aid*




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday April 19 2010

Time: 12:37PM

Your Comments

Cheers Hercs, always a laugh!
steff_the_villan
Quality, someone has got to come up with a chant for the Fonz somehow incorporating the legendary eeeeeeeeh!
Villan444
More chuckles as usual, great dressing room report Hercs, thanks!!
Charizma
 

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